“I wasn’t at my best. I’ll make it up to you next time.” He spoke with the self-important nonchalance of a man accustomed to slavish cooperation.
I cranked my vocal thermostat down to ‘flash-freeze’. “My industry is very highly regulated, and actors rarely take up with people outside it. Last night’s little episode reminded me why. There won’t be a next time.”
“Fine.” Scorn barbed his voice. “You weren’t such hot shit. I can get better head from a cheap hooker.”
I struggled to keep a straight face at that resounding truth, and channeled every disapproving grade-school teacher I’d ever encountered. “Then I suggest you do so. Now, the list; and my money. Where and when?”
“Tomorrow at the Hogback-”
“No,” I snapped.
A contemptuous sigh drifted over the line. “Tomorrow morning at eleven A.M., outside the Hogback. The bar doesn’t open until eleven-thirty.” The line went dead in my ear.
I was spitting a stream of anatomically impossible instructions to the phone when Kane arrived. He raised an eyebrow as I slapped the receiver back into its cradle.
“…and bite it, you limp-dicked ratfuck!” I finished before transferring my attention to him.
His other eyebrow joined the first. “That didn’t sound good.”
“Asshole! Hibbert, not you,” I qualified hurriedly.
“Problem?”
I blew out a breath and stretched, eliciting a snap-crackle-pop from my tense neck and shoulders. “No. The guy’s just a dickhead. I’ll give him the list tomorrow morning and hope I don’t have to deal with him again.” I reached for the phone again. “I have to report to Stemp, and then I’ll be ready to do some more decryptions.”
Leaving the network at the end of the day, my usual jolt of pain joined the residual throbbing of my nose to offer a convincing simulation of being punched rhythmically in the face. I hugged my aching skull and keened wordless misery through my teeth.
When Kane’s big warm hands began to work their magic on my knotted muscles, I slumped forward, head in hands to hide the moisture that tried to escape my screwed-shut eyes.
The worst of the pain subsided at last, and I regained enough presence of mind to wonder how long Kane would keep massaging if I didn’t sit up. Banishing the selfish temptation to find out, I straightened slowly and swallowed my whimper of protest when his touch fell away.
“Do you want to go over to Blue Eddy’s and get dinner before the self-defence workshop tonight?” Kane asked.
“I’d like to, but…” I squinted at my watch. “I’m just going to grab something quick and then I want to drop in at Spider’s to see how he’s feeling.”
“All right. Tell him I hope he feels better soon.” His sexy laugh lines crinkled. “I’ll see you tonight.”
He took the network key and strode out, leaving me to wonder if it was only my overactive imagination that had made his words sound like a provocative promise.
Chapter 22
Huddling into my parka against the icy wind, I tapped on the door of Spider’s small bungalow.
Maybe I should have phoned instead.
After a short wait, I tapped again, unwilling to use the doorbell in case he was asleep.
I was about to give up and go back to my car when the door opened and Linda peeked out.
Renewed concern chilled me. “What are you doing home? Is Spider that sick?”
“No... I mean…” She hovered in the narrow opening and glanced over her shoulder before returning her attention to me. “I just haven’t left for work yet. My shift doesn’t start until eight.”
“What’s wrong?” My pulse accelerated when she glanced behind her again, her face pinched with worry. I leaned forward, trying to see into the house without being too obvious. “Tell me what’s wrong, Linda. Let me help.”
“I…” She hesitated, biting her lip.
“Who is it?” Spider’s voice drifted from within.
“Aydan’s here to see you.” Linda gave me an imploring look, but I couldn’t tell whether she wanted me to push my way in or push off.
“Hey, Spider, are you okay?” I called. “What’s wrong?”
A moment later, he appeared to drape his lanky arms around Linda from behind, his gangling six-foot-two towering over her tiny figure. He dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “Thanks, sweetie. It’s okay, Aydan’s exactly the person I need to talk to. Come on in, Aydan.”
Linda sagged with relief and then stretched up on her tiptoes to collect another kiss before turning her usual impish grin back to me. “You heard the master of the house. Come on in.”
After shedding my boots and jacket in their front hall, I followed them into the small living room. “It looks great, Spider. Almost the same as before the fire. Not that I noticed much when I came barrelling through the last time.”
He motioned me into a beanbag chair before folding himself onto a red loveseat spattered with large white polka-dots. “Not exactly the same.” He smiled and waved a hand that encompassed the bright modern décor. “Linda picked out all the colours and furniture this time.”
She curled up next to him, smiling like a satisfied cat, and I grinned. “It suits you both.” I very nearly added, ‘you’ll be happy together here’, but bit my tongue at the last second. Too close to spilling the beans. “What happened today at work?” I asked instead. “You weren’t really sick, were you, Spider?”
Colour rose on his cheeks, but he met my eyes squarely. “No. I was mad.”
“Why?”
He shot a quick glance at Linda and answered cautiously. “I was told to do something I… couldn’t. Morally.”
“Oh…”
I stared at him in confusion for a moment before the light dawned. Stemp wanted Tammy to be controlled inside the network without her knowledge. Jack had programmed Spider into my controller key as a test. I was willing to bet Tammy’s controller key was programmed for Spider, too.
“Oh.” I raised an eyebrow at him, trying to figure out a way to ask without divulging classified information in front of Linda. “Um… driving?”
His flush deepened, his eyes flashing. “I won’t do it. I told Stemp that. It’s sick and wrong.”
Linda scrunched smaller beside him, looking less like a happy cat and more like a miserable child. “But, sweetie, what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know, but I won’t do that.”
“Can’t you tell me what it is?” she pleaded. “Maybe I could help if I knew.”
“No,” Spider and I said in unison. “I’m sorry,” he added, his arm tightening around her. “I’d totally tell you if I could, but I just can’t.” He turned a troubled face to me. “What should I do, Aydan?”
I slumped on the beanbag. “Shit, Spider, I don’t know. I wouldn’t ask you to compromise your principles, but I don’t see much alternative.” At his despairing look, I summoned up the most confident voice I could manage. “I’ll think about it. Don’t worry, between the two of us we’ll come up with something. Tomorrow’s Friday anyway, so you can buy some time to think about it over the weekend. I hear the twenty-four-hour stomach flu is pretty nasty.”
“Thanks, Aydan, I knew you’d be able to help!”
The bright hope in his face made my own stomach feel distinctly flu-like. I couldn’t see any way out, and now he was counting on me. Shit.
Two young faces beamed at me with supreme confidence, and I lurched to my feet. “Well, I have to get going. Lola and I are doing the self-defence workshop again tonight.”
“I’m glad you went with her,” Linda said. “She needed to go to get her confidence back, but I just couldn’t go with her. It makes me feel sick to even think about intentionally hurting another human being.”
“Um.” I turned away, glad she didn’t know how many human beings I’d hurt. Hell, murdered. No point in sugar-coating it.
Her small hand landed on my arm and when I turned, her normally sparkling blue eyes were serious.
>
“That’s why I’m really glad there are brave people like you to protect wimps like me,” she said. “Be proud of what you do, Aydan. We need you.”
I choked up. After a moment, I managed to mutter ‘thanks’ as I hurried to the front door and bent to tie my boots.
“Oh, hey, Aydan, I forgot to mention this earlier,” Spider said. “We’re having a housewarming-slash-Christmas Eve party next Saturday evening. Can you come?”
I looked up, thankful for the distraction, and managed a bright smile. “Thanks, Spider, you bet. I’ll look forward to it.”
Later as we headed across the parking lot toward the rec centre, Lola nudged me with a suggestive elbow. “So, are you going to make a move on Big John? I’m sure he’s got the hots for you. Just give him the old come-hither smile, and he’ll be all yours.”
I laughed. “You never quit, do you? What makes you think he’s got the hots for me?” I kept the question light, but caution bristled my antennae. If Lola had noticed something, others might, too. And that was dangerous.
“Well, he’d be stupid not to, wouldn’t he?” She smirked. “You’re one hot patootie. If he’s got eyes in his head, he has to be looking.”
Jack gave us a cheery wave from the building’s entrance and waited for us to catch up. I lowered my voice. “Trust me, if he’s looking for hot, that’s hot.” I cut my eyes toward Jack’s radiant blonde beauty.
Lola sniffed. “She’s too young for him. And she’s too nice. A man like that needs a mature woman with a little wicked edge.”
I gave her a nudge of my own. “Sounds like you’re talking about yourself.”
“Well, hell yeah, honey.” She leered up at me, and we rode our wave of laughter to the door.
A short time later, her teasing echoed in my ears when Kane met my eyes over the heads of the class, looking as delicious as ever in his gym shorts and T-shirt. “Aydan, will you help me with this demonstration, please? I need someone your height.”
I swallowed a skittering sensation and threaded my way to the front of the gym. He gave me his usual pleasant smile before turning to the class. “There are several ways to secure an arm-bar hold from the standing position if someone has made an aggressive move toward you. This will look a little different if your attacker is much larger than you, but you should be able to get the idea if I demonstrate it with Aydan.”
He turned to face me. “I’ll demonstrate the full move first, and then I’ll walk through the fundamental mechanics. Aydan, just stay loose and follow the path of the force. I won’t put any strength into it, but don’t hesitate to tap out if you feel uncomfortable. Go ahead and grab my arm as if you’re attacking me now.”
I drew a short breath and did as he asked. In an instant, my arm was locked, my torso twisting down to follow the force, and panic ripped through me. Kane’s voice was a distant echo. “…pressure at the back of the arm to…”
Hibbert’s hard hands forced me down. My tap-out was more like a frantic slap, and I jerked away when Kane released me, my hands flying up aggressively. Nearly hyperventilating, I caught myself at the last moment and dropped my guard, pasting a smile on my face through sheer force of will.
I knew I hadn’t fooled Kane. His grey gaze flicked over me, assessing my reaction in a fraction of a second before turning his easy smile to the class. “So you can see it really requires very little strength; it’s just a matter of effective leverage. Now I’ll need a volunteer who’s smaller. Jack, would you help me? I’ll walk you through the steps while you put the arm-bar hold on me…”
Under the cover of his words, I did a fast fade to the changing room, where I locked myself into a cubicle and schooled myself into slow, steady yoga breaths. A few moments later, a tap on the door heralded Lola’s arrival.
“Aydan? Honey, are you okay?”
I emerged, smile in place. “Yeah, fine. I just had to pee.”
“Horse hockey.”
I slumped against the sink. “Was it that obvious?”
She slid an arm around me and squeezed. “No, hon, I don’t think anybody else even noticed. I was just giving you the eagle eye because I was afraid something like that might happen when he called you up there.”
I straightened. “Then let’s get back out there before anybody does notice.”
“If you’re sure you’re okay.”
“I’m fine.”
Lola watched me closely while we practiced the next few holds, but I had prepared myself for my reaction and hid it well. After a while she relaxed, and by the end of the class we were back to our usual unwholesome banter. Jack joined us, blushing over one of Lola’s raunchier sallies, and the three of us headed laughing for the exit.
I was almost at the door when Kane’s voice stopped me. “Aydan, do you have a minute?”
“Sure.” I turned to see him still surrounded by his usual gaggle of admirers.
“I just have to…” He half-gestured to his audience, and I nodded.
“No problem, I’m not in a hurry.” I propped myself against the wall to wait.
Lola leaned close to murmur, “Do you want me to stay? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Thanks, though.”
She scowled. “Does that really mean ‘fine’, or is this another one of your horse-hockey ‘fine’s? ‘Cause I’m staying if you don’t feel safe.”
“This is the real deal. I’m fine.” I grinned at her ferocious protectiveness. “Thanks, Lola. Good night.”
She relaxed into a smile. “Good night, then, hon. See you tomorrow.” She leaned closer, bouncing her eyebrows. “Don’t forget the come-hither smile.”
I gave her an affectionate push. “Get lost.”
Nearly ten minutes later, the last member of Kane’s fan club finally departed with a wistful backward glance. He stretched and rolled his shoulders, coincidentally offering me a magnificent view of his flexing muscles before coming over with a smile. “It’s great to see these women taking charge of their own safety. That kind of interest really makes it rewarding to teach workshops like these.”
It seemed crass to point out that the interest was directed at his hard-muscled physique, so I just smiled and nodded.
He sobered. “I owe you an apology. I triggered something for you tonight with that arm-bar, didn’t I? I should have checked with you before calling you to volunteer. I’m sorry.”
I waved an embarrassed hand. “It’s fine. No big deal.”
“It looked like a big deal.” His face softened, his grey gaze searching my face. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
His remote cop face descended, and I regretted my abruptness. “But…” I blurted, trying to think of a way to make it better. “Um…”
He waited.
“Um, is there a way to escape that arm-bar?” I finished in a blaze of inspiration. “It’s great to be able to do it, but it’d be even better to be able to get out of it.”
Kane smiled, the warmth returning to his eyes. “There are several ways. I can show you sometime if you’d like.”
“How about now? If you have time?”
“I have time.” He glanced at his watch. “And the gym is booked until ten, so we’ve still got twenty minutes.”
I relaxed. Bad feelings averted. “Great, let’s do it.”
We took our positions on the mat, and Kane eyed me with concern. “The problem is, if you want to practice getting out of it, I’ll have to put the hold on you in the first place. Are you all right with that?”
“Oh, yeah, I’m fine.” His doubtful expression made me add, “It just took me by surprise because it was still too fresh in my memory…” I shut up.
“Fresh, like last night?” he inquired gently.
“Um, yeah…” Really didn’t want to go there. “But it’s fine. It was just the surprise. You could do exactly the same thing right now and it wouldn’t bother me a bit.”
That was a flat-out lie. When I found myself bent double again, it bothered me a hell of
a lot, but I clenched my teeth. Just a reaction. Do it, go through it, and the reaction would fade. No need to panic.
I concentrated on Kane’s voice. “…grab my arm like I showed you. Pull. Lock it with your shoulder. That’s it, now throw your weight forward…” He rolled to the mat. “But you have to be fast. If your assailant is stronger than you, you’ll only achieve this with surprise. You can’t make it a contest of strength. I’ll show you.”
He secured the arm-bar on me again and I managed not to panic.
“If I’m expecting it…” His arm flexed next to my face as I pulled on his wrist. “…it’s your strength against mine...”
Hello, bicep.
“…and you won’t win that.”
“Right,” I panted, not sure whether I was breathless from exertion or the sudden realization that our naked legs were entwined and my arm was pressed low against his corrugated midsection.
“And this escape only works if you can actually reach his wrist,” Kane continued, apparently oblivious to my discomfiture. “Here’s another option…”
A couple more rolls and tumbles on the mat, and my earlier panic was obscured by a rising tide of arousal. Why hadn’t I considered martial arts before? Cheap opportunity to roll around with a buff guy. Duh.
I squeaked and tapped Kane’s hand as he bore down a little too hard. Okay, the pain factor was definitely a drawback. But still…
I shook myself and refocused.
“…most fights end up on the ground,” Kane was saying. “If you end up in an arm-bar on the ground…” A flurry of motion and suddenly I lay gasping on my back, my hand locked against his chest. And my arm jammed tightly between his legs.
“If I flex my hips…” He did exactly that, and my brain short-circuited at the memory of that well-endowed portion of his anatomy pressed against other parts of my body.
I missed the rest of his exposition.
He rolled free and lay down on the mat beside me. “I won’t get into the mechanics of how to secure this hold in the first place, but I’ll show you how to get out of it. Just put one leg over my neck and the other over my chest and hold my arm the way I held yours…”
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