by P Nelson
Take My Hand
P. Nelson
Copyright 2017 by P. Nelson
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any way whatsoever without written permission of the publisher except for brief quotations used in a book review.
All characters appearing in this work are fictitious.
Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
First Printing, 2017
ISBN 978-0-154-646150-0
For my eternal beloved, once we were one soul, now torn asunder and forced to travel separate paths
Prologue
Lilith looked out the small kitchen window onto the narrow passage between her house and the next and studied the design on top of the fence. The wooden slats wove together to make a diamond pattern; funny how she never noticed it before.
“Dear, John and Betty have brought another potato casserole. Where do you want me to put it?” A woman asked from behind Lilith, snapping her out of her reverie over the fence.
“Here, I’ll take it, Ruth.” Lilith gave Ruth a small smile as she turned away from the window and held her hands out.
“We’re all going to have to adjust to his loss,” Ruth commented in a small voice.
“Yes, Kevin is gone, and now life moves on,” Lilith agreed. The words had become easier to repeat over the last week since her husband’s car accident. She had said them endlessly to all her family and friends, but she didn’t know why it should go on.
Ruth’s jaw worked as she visibly swallowed down her grief. “You and my son were together for so long I can’t imagine not having you in my life.”
Lilith set the casserole aside and wrapped her mother-in-law into a tight embrace. “You’re the only family I have now. My own mother couldn’t even be bothered to come back to Vancouver for my husband’s funeral.”
Movement at the small kitchen’s entrance to the dining room caught Lilith’s attention, and she looked up to see her best friend Calla standing alongside Kevin’s younger brother Quenton staring at her and Ruth.
“Mum, I think dad needs to speak with you.” Quenton reached out and took Ruth’s hand as she let go of Lilith. “Betty has cornered him in the living room, and I think he might try something truly drastic to escape.” Ruth didn’t reply. Instead, she walked out of the kitchen with her only remaining child to face the group of mourners who had gathered at Lilith’s house for Kevin’s wake.
“Have you cried yet?” Calla asked bluntly as she came inside the kitchen, took up the potato casserole, and walked over to the fridge.
“Of course, I have.” Lilith replied. “I don’t think you’re going to find much room in there.” She said as Calla opened the door to the fridge and looked for a place to put the casserole. “I think there’s a book out there called 101 Casserole Recipes for Those in Mourning.”
Calla grunted as she took out a bottle of wine, shoved a few things around and pushed the casserole in. “You know you deflect with humour when you feel like your emotions are out of control.” She stood up with the bottle of wine and went over to the counter beside the sink where a line of wine glasses sat.
“Is that your official diagnosis, Dr Jones?” Her voice was dry, and she could hear the irritation blending with sarcasm.
“Eventually, you’re going to need to grieve properly.” Calla poured two glasses and handed one to her.
“I can’t have anything to drink now.” Lilith waved to the people who she could see milling around talking in her living room through the open dining room. “All those people have come here to say goodbye. How would it look if I got drunk?”
“It would look like you’re finally understanding that Kevin is gone.” Calla drank from her own glass. “You and Kevin were best friends growing up. The only time you were apart was during university. That was the only time you made friends outside of Kevin. That friend is me. Do you even know how to cope without him?”
“Yes,” Lilith hissed and snatched the glass of wine out of Calla’s hand. Some of the liquid poured over the side in her haste. “I’m an adult. Besides, everyone keeps telling me I need to process everything in my own time. Why are you pushing me? I thought you were a medical professional.”
Calla set her glass down and stared at her. “If I thought for a second that you were actually going to grieve properly instead of just bottling all your emotions up and shoving them down into someplace dark until one day you finally erupt like a volcano of crazy, I wouldn’t be pushing you.”
Casting a desperate look at the guests she needed to speak with, Lilith took a drink before replying to her friend, “I just need to get through today. Tomorrow, you can ride my ass from here to crazy town, but right now I have to make sure this is perfect for Kevin.” Kevin had been her best friend since he had saved her from a bully in grade 1. The doorbell rang and Lilith’s head swivelled to the front of the house as if she could see who was standing on the step.
“I’ll answer it.” Calla offered.
“No, it’s time I stopped hiding in the kitchen. I don’t remember receiving a pamphlet on how to be a good grieving widow when I married Kevin,” Lilith lamented and sat her wine glass down on the counter. The red lipstick mark marred the opaque quality of the glass. “How is your practice going?” She asked more because she was tired of talking about herself.
“Good, I have some really great clients, and I’ve taken on this great side project.” Calla’s voice was enthusiastic. “When you’re ready, I want to introduce you into a whole other world.”
“I think I should just concentrate on not going crazy in this world.” Lilith smiled at her friend’s obvious happiness. Nodding to people who glanced over from their conversations to smile sadly at her, Lilith found the front door of the house just as the bell rang again. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to take so long, I just…” Lilith’s voice trailed away as she stared at a gorgeous blond woman standing on the front porch. Not a strand of her blond hair was out of place, and her beautiful face held that mixture of innocence and sultry temptation men love. Lilith self-consciously patted down her own unruly warm brown locks.
“Hello.” The woman with perfect hair half smiled. “You must be Lilith.” Her voice held a note of regret and Lilith’s stomach plummeted into her gut, and her eyes began to smart as if tears were forming. “Listen, I know this is an awkward time, and I really thought about this for ages. I just thought that we needed to put our own feelings aside and give Brody a chance to say goodbye.”
“What?” Lilith’s voice came out as a tortured croak. A movement behind the svelte blond woman riveted Lilith’s attention. A boy peeked out from behind the woman’s huge bag. Large brown eyes, a button nose with copious amounts of freckles, and a shy smile Lilith would know anywhere looked up at her. It was the face of her childhood, the face of her best friend who had shared everything with her, everything except this. Lilith felt the whole world tilt suddenly as her lungs worked to keep pumping oxygen through her system. All the blood drained from her face, and she gripped the doorframe for support.
“He never told you?” The woman said with frustration and a hint of anger. “Kevin assured me that you knew about us.”
“What’s taking you so long?” Calla asked from behind Lilith. “It’s autumn in Vancouver, do you want to heat the entire neighbourhood?”
“Who is this?” Calla asked over my shoulder with a frown at the newcomer.
“My name is Merritt Pringle.” Merritt said without sticking her hand out. She appeared uncomfortable as she looked down at her son. “And this is Brody.”
“He’s Kevin’s son.” Lilith choked out as she stared at the little boy in mounting horror.
“What?” Calla stared down at the small child who now
began to cling to his mother sensing the unease of the women standing in the doorway.
“I’m so sorry you found out this way.” Merritt leaned over and picked up her son. Somehow managing to juggle him and the large bag she carried. “Kevin told me you knew everything, but I should have guessed why he never wanted Brody to meet his family.”
“How old is he?” Lilith’s brain had gone from sluggish to hyper-aware in a matter of seconds. Images flashed in her mind. Times when Kevin had said he had to work late, business trips, hell, even camping trips he took with his friends now all rolled through her mind.
“Just shy of three.” Merritt answered.
A tear spilled over Lilith’s cheek as she did the math. “He was born before we got married.” The words were only a whisper, but each one stabbed Lilith in the chest. Shaking her head, she said, “Kevin said he wanted to wait to have kids. He wanted to make sure he was ready.”
Calla moved beside Lilith and pushed her back inside the door before speaking to Merritt. “You should come inside. It’s going to be a shock. Kevin’s parents are inside, and I’m pretty damn certain they have no idea they have a grandson.”
“I should try to meet them another time.” Merritt’s face crumpled in concern.
“No, I don’t think there’s going to be a better time to find out your dead son had a second family.” Lilith’s shoulders caved in at Calla’s words, and Merritt looked over.
“It wasn’t like that.” Merritt shook her head. “We had a one-night stand and, well, the condom broke. I thought that only happened in movies.” Her voice trailed off at the expression of horror on Lilith’s face.
“Don’t think about it now.” Calla’s voice cut through Lilith’s dawning dread. “I know what you’re thinking, and you can’t deal with it right now.”
“Is whoever at the door going to come inside or not?” asked Quentin who had wandered over, “Holy shit.” He said as he took in Merritt and Brody. Lilith scanned Quentin’s surprised but not shocked features.
“You knew,” Lilith accused, and, in that moment, she felt her whole world tumble around her. She couldn’t believe that anything would have been worse than getting a call from the police telling her of Kevin’s accident. Now, she felt the fabric of her existence expand and pop into oblivion as Calla and Quentin stepped aside to let mother and son inside the small house she had shared with her husband.
The world narrowed and quieted as the rest of the guests inside the house spotted the newcomers. People who had known Kevin a child stopped in mid-sentence to take in his son. Others stopped their conversations as the tension in room rose. Lilith was riveted to the spectacle of Ruth turning around with her husband to spot the child of the son she’d lost. With a cry, she stumbled forward towards the boy and his mother. Kevin’s father looked as if he’d seen a ghost. It was a reunion of sorts. For once in her life, Lilith felt as if she were observing the people she had known were family instead of being one of them.
A distant corner of her brain registered the fact that Calla was speaking to her in calm tones, and Quentin was trying to give her hurried explanations. None of that mattered in this moment but being careful not to disrupt the commotion unfolding in her living room. Lilith twisted the wedding and engagement rings off her finger as she stepped towards the mantelpiece. She gently set both rings in front of the portrait of the smiling bride and groom. Turning on her heel, Lilith ignored the eyes that followed as she grabbed her purse and walked out the door to her car. Calla was yelling at her now and Quentin made a grab for her keys. Calmly ignoring them both, Lilith got into her car and reversed out of the lie she had lived her entire life.
&
“Jasmine, what are you doing here?” Gaige asked the woman in front of him who was wearing a raincoat with killer fuck-me heels.
“Your housekeeper let me in, Master Gaige,” Jasmine sighed as she undid the knot in the front of the raincoat and let it slide down her lithe body. She sank down into a perfect slave pose. Her back straight, knees splayed wide so he could see her pussy, and her long, straight, black hair falling along either side of her pretty face. Gaige sighed and walked around her, the entire act made his jaw clamp together in frustration. For once, his dick didn’t even jump in the front of his dress pants, he was truly uninterested in the tantalising display in his entranceway.
“I’ll ask you again, Jasmine, what are you doing here? I think I made myself pretty clear the last time we spoke that if you were going to play with other men, I wasn’t interested.”
“Why do you have to be so possessive?” Jasmine whined behind him, and Gaige heard the click of those sky-high heels against the treated wood of his hallway as she followed. Once, Gaige’s cock would have been standing to attention in anticipation of playing with this beautiful submissive. Now, all he felt was weary. Gaige walked into his living room and threw down his coat, keys, and bag on a nearby couch and admired the view of English Bay at night. The never-ending fog obscured the North Shore Mountains, but just knowing they were there gave him peace.
“You uncollared me and didn’t even give me a say,” Jasmine said as she stood looking into the living room. Gaige turned around and watched the frown on her face turn to speculation. “We have a contract.”
“We had a contract, Jaz.” Gaige kept his eyes on her face, ignoring the rest of her curves. She was still an attractive woman, and he had to tread carefully, or his best friend Flynn would accuse him of being a pussy Dom. “You broke the contract when you started to scene with other Doms. Behind my back no less at clubs that aren’t safe.” Gaige pointed out for good measure. “If you had come to me and explained your needs, we could have worked something out, but instead you went behind my back and put yourself at risk.” Running a frustrated hand through his hair. “You basically negated that entire side of the contract for me.”
“You’re supposed to spank my ass and maybe shove a plug up my asshole.” Jasmine put her hands on her hips. “You’re not supposed to just walk away!”
“I told you from the beginning I didn’t want to play games.” Gaige walked over to the fridge in the open plan kitchen and pulled out a water careful to keep distance between them.
“This is all a game!” Jasmine threw her hands up in the air, her face mashed into an angry frown. “You decided to stop playing once I started fucking guys on the side.”
“No.” Gaige remained calm even though Jasmine was angry enough for her breasts to start heaving up and down in her agitation. He could see a thin film of sweat break out on her body. Once, this would have made him order her to lie across his knee and receive her punishment. Instead, Gaige held onto the water bottle tighter and reminded himself it was never all right to discipline a sub when angry. “You ignored the rules of our contract, and you tried to top from the bottom to get what you want. I told you from the beginning that the lifestyle was serious for me. Now if you don’t mind, I have an early day tomorrow, and I need to get some work done before I go to bed. Alone.”
“You’re such an asshole.” Jasmine flung the insult across the room at him. She looked royally pissed, but there was no way he was going to get mixed up in her schemes again. She turned on her heel picked up the discarded trench coat and looked over her shoulder as she did the front up. “You’re not going to find another full-time sub who caters to all of your demands, Gaige.”
“Perhaps your right, but at least the next full-time sub I have will only be fucking me or the men I choose to let her fuck,” Gaige replied and watched as Jasmine’s face fell for an instant.
“We were good together.” She held her hands out, and his dominant instincts wanted to comfort her, but he remained rooted to the tile on the kitchen floor. “I only did what I did because I wanted more of your attention.”
“You should have told me you wanted to see more of me instead of doing scenes behind my back,” Gaige insisted. “And I seriously hope you keep your play to The Cage from now on. Those other clubs attract dangerous men, you know that.”
Jasmine’s skin flushed, and he remembered all the times he had left his handprints on her ass, his whip marks making pretty patterns on her back.
“You still care,” she accused.
“Yes, but not enough to go back on our contract. You were supposed to put all your sexual needs into my hands, and I would fulfil them. The fact you went out of your way to get what you wanted from another Dom makes me look like an asshole and a pussy,” Gaige pointed out, his voice roughened, and he was about to lose his temper. “Get out. Don’t come back here. I’ll see you at The Cage.”
Jasmine’s heels clicked down the hall, and the door opened and closed silently. She was pissed, and it might be awkward around The Cage for a while, but at least Gaige was free of her. Turning back to the view of English Bay, he took a long drink from the water bottle. They had been good together for a while, but he had started to yearn for something more than what Jasmine gave him. She wasn’t feeding his dominance, and Gaige wasn’t sure if he would find a woman who could satisfy his needs.
Chapter 1
One year later…
Lilith sat looking out the coffee shop window. The clock’s reflection told her she had twenty more minutes before she had to get back to the office. Twenty more minutes of listening to Calla drone on about some TV show or new guy that she had met, or whatever. She really needed to pick up some groceries on her way home. Actually, she should just get take-out from the Italian place on the corner near her new apartment.
“I’ve had enough, Lilith,” Calla’s angry tone brought Lilith’s attention back to her friend.
“Me, too. I’ll see you next week.” Lilith forced a smile to her lips as she pushed her half-drunk latte into the middle of the small round table.
“No, you won’t see me next week.” Calla shook her head, her cheeks slightly red.