by P Nelson
“Eric was only punishing me for being rude to him, Master Gaige.” Lilith’s voice was small, and he could tell she was scrambling to make excuses as she drew her skirt back down again.
“Don’t bother calling me Master any longer. Our contract is over as of right now. I no longer hold you to any Master’s rights that pertain to me. You’re free.” Gaige swung around to face the door. He needed to get out of here before he punched Eric in the face and begged Lilith to tell him why he wasn’t good enough.
“Hey, wait a second, man.” Eric’s hand shot out, and he grabbed Gaige’s arm.
“Get your fucking hand off me unless you want to lose it,” Gaige’s voice was low and menacing enough that Eric let go immediately.
“Calm down, Gaige.” Eric’s voice was tight. “It’s just a disciplinary spanking for disrespecting a Dom of The Cage. You’ve given out hundreds of them in your time.”
Gaige whirled around and pointed a finger at Lilith. “We had a contract, she was to scene with no other Dom, but me. If she did, the contract was over. Am I right, Lilith?” Lilith nodded her head as tears streamed down her cheeks, pooling at her chin before dripping down her front. “I need a verbal answer, girl,” Gaige’s words bit out, and Lilith jerked as if he had slapped her.
“Yes, that was in our contract, but Eric told me….” Lilith stopped as Gaige swiped a hand through the air.
“I’m sure whatever he told you seemed reasonable at the time.” Gaige looked over at Eric. “Good luck with this one, not only does she have enough baggage to keep you disciplining her backside for an eternity, she also seems to have a penchant for fucking over her Doms.”
“That’s unfair, Gaige. She’s not Jasmine.” Eric stepped up to the other man. “Apologise.”
“Or what, you going to take that ruler to my ass.” Gaige gave him a feral smile. “I’d like to see you try, asshole.” Gaige went back to the door, and turned his head to look back before he left. “Once I’m through telling everyone about this little episode, no one is going to trust you around their subs, Eric. You should probably get another club.” With his parting remarks made, Gaige stormed out of the office and slammed the door behind him. The blinds that had been drawn to protect Eric and Lilith’s privacy slammed against the windows.
Everyone in the office watched as Gaige moved down the floor like a predator about to strike. The receptionist gave him a faltering smile as he headed for the stairs. He couldn’t be bothered waiting for the elevator. The image of Lilith leaning over the desk taking her punishment had the duel effect of making him as hard as granite and feeling betrayed.
He really was the pussy Dom. Gaige couldn’t even keep his temporary training sub interested in him long enough to finish the 30-day training period. Slamming the door of his truck closed, he clutched the steering wheel until his breath calmed. It would be dangerous to drive with the rage he was feeling right now. His heart finally calmed, and Gaige started the truck and pulled out of the parking lot. He had come to some very important decisions about his life.
Chapter 16
Lilith stood in the middle of Eric’s office and stared at the closed door. She knew her mouth had fallen open, but she couldn’t bring herself to close it. In fact, there was little she could do other than stand there looking like an idiot.
“What an asshole,” Eric finally said before setting the ruler on the desk. He stepped up to Lilith and held her by the shoulders. “Lilith, you’re going to be OK.”
“This isn’t happening.” Lilith’s brain went from sluggish to hyperactive in ten seconds. She started breathing hard as she processed the scene that had just unfolded. “He didn’t leave me.”
“Lilith, sit down.” Eric tried to manoeuvre her to one of the seats in front of his desk, but she wouldn’t budge. Finally, she looked up at him with accusation in her eyes.
“You told me that it was the right of every Dom to punish subs who were rude to them since we were both members of the club.” Lilith felt her heart squeeze at the look of betrayal on Gaige’s face when he walked in. The light that had formerly shone in his eyes had dimmed. His voice had been cold, dispassionate. Nothing like the voice he used when he topped her. A sob ripped out of Lilith’s chest.
“It is.” Eric ran a distracted hand through his hair. Lilith noted that she had never seen her boss look less than perfect before. Now, he frowned and his hair stood up at strange angles. “Gaige has disciplined subs the same way. He knows it isn’t sexual.” Eric pointed to the empty seat. “Sit down, Lilith, we’ll fix this.”
“No, we can’t come back from this.” Lilith collapsed into the seat and wanted to fold into herself. She felt exposed and small, the things Gaige said shamed her. She watched with dull eyes as Eric picked up his phone and made a call. He looked at her as he spoke, but his words were too low and fast for her to understand. After hanging up, he said, “Come on, I’m taking you home.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Lilith felt some strength coming back. Gaige had been unreasonable. He was supposed to be the perfect Dom, but he hadn’t accepted her explanation. He would rather think that she had broken her contract with him over one stupid fight.
“You’re not in the right headspace to be at work, Lilith,” Eric admonished as he reached for his jacket and keys.
“Of course, I’m not.” Lilith felt her lips pull down, and she did her best not to start crying again. “My Dom just walked out on me.” All Lilith’s fears about abandonment and Kevin’s cheating arose, choking her as she sat in Eric’s office. He came over to her and sat down on his haunches. Clasping her face between his hands, Eric forced her to look at him.
“Lilith, you haven’t done anything wrong. What happened in the office was about you and me fulfilling our obligations as Doms and subs. If Gaige wants to read more into it, then he has to take a serious look at what being a Dom at The Cage means to him. That doesn’t mean he gets to drag us into his bullshit.” Eric’s eyes penetrated Lilith’s, and she nodded. “Give me a verbal answer, Lilith.”
“Yes, sir, I understand.” She did, but her heart hurt, and she didn’t want to understand. Lilith wanted to rail against the injustice of it all.
“Good. Now I’ve called Calla, and she’s going to meet you at home. I’m going to drive you whether you want me to or not. It’s non-negotiable.” Eric looked past her for a second before bringing his gaze back into focus on his face. “I know you don’t want to hear this right now, but there will be other Doms who will earn your trust and submission. It can feel like Gaige is the only one because he was lucky to provide you with your first taste, but there will be others.” His voice was determined, and Lilith didn’t want to understand his meaning.
“Yes, sir,” Lilith responded and knew her voice didn’t sound enthusiastic at all.
“Good girl. Now come on, let’s get you out of the office without creating too much of a scene.” Eric said as he stood up and held out his hand. Lilith took it and tried to relax under his firm grip. Unfortunately, everything was playing back in her head, over and over. Lilith grabbed her coat and her purse as she heard Eric talking to his secretary about Gaige’s actions, something about a new investor the company decided not to take on-board.
Lilith noticed the fake sympathy smile from the receptionist and had to grit her teeth. Life was so much easier when she didn’t have one. Now she had to deal with all the fallout from Gaige and his over-reaction at work. A thought flitted through her brain about quitting and starting somewhere new. But she didn’t want to be the person who ran away anymore. Lilith would stand and fight for what she wanted. She wanted Gaige, and she wanted to stay as a member of The Cage. She liked BDSM.
The ride back to her apartment was mostly silent. Eric switched the radio on, but he left Lilith to her thoughts. Gaige was right about last night. She needed to deal with Kevin, his mistress, and his family. There was a part of her that loved Ruth and Quenton, and she realised that if they had given up on her the same way she had give
n up on them, Lilith would feel devastated. Pulling up to her apartment complex, Lilith could see Calla waiting for her.
“Gaige is going to feel like an idiot for what happened, Lilith,” Eric said as he put his SUV in park. “He will beg you to take him back, and it will be your choice if you want him to top you again.”
“I know,” Lilith replied even as she knew that Gaige was never going to beg her to take him back. If she wanted him, Lilith was going to have to break down some of his Dom barriers and force him back into her life. “Thank you for the ride.”
“Remember what I said. There are Doms out there who are only waiting for their chance,” Eric said as Lilith opened her door.
“Thank you for everything, Eric.” Lilith tried to give him a smile before she shut the door. She was grateful to him. Before Gaige burst into Eric’s office, he had calmed her down. Now, he was supporting her through every sub’s worst nightmare. Eric was a good man, and Lilith bet he would make a wonderful Dom. He just wasn’t for her.
“Come here, beautiful,” Calla said as she met Lilith halfway and wrapped her arms around her. “Let’s go inside and you can tell me all about it. Or not.”
Lilith waited until they entered her apartment and turned the kettle on before she told Calla the whole sordid story. She unburdened everything to her friend, and Calla sat and listened patiently.
“Quenton came here?” Calla asked as Lilith finished with Eric driving her home. She didn’t mention Eric’s interest in her. Somehow it didn’t seem right.
“Yeah, I hadn’t seen him since the wake.” Lilith thought back to Quenton’s angry face. “He’s changed so much.”
“He went through a lot last year,” Calla confirmed.
“I guess there was a part of me that wanted to forget that Kevin had a family, even though I knew his death would be hard on them.” Lilith stared at her mug,
Calla sighed loudly. “It isn’t my place to out anyone.” She began and shook her head as if she was trying to come to a decision. “But I know that you love Quenton like a brother, and so I’m stealing his autonomy for a good cause.” Calla paused for a minute, and Lilith wondered what could possibly be so bad that Calla didn’t even want to say it. “Quenton came out last year.”
“So?” Lilith had a number of terrible calamities running through her head. None of them were the fact that Quenton might be gay. “Good for him.”
“His parents were really shocked, and Quenton didn’t have anyone to turn to.” Calla’s face filled with sadness. “He needed you, and he needed Kevin. Without your and Kevin’s support, he’s drifting. I’ve done my best to try and help, but it’s complicated.”
Lilith felt her stomach drop, and she thought of Quenton trying to navigate his grief with coming out. Impossibly, Lilith felt tears prickle the backs of her eyelids. Just when she thought she couldn’t cry one more tear.
“I should have been there for him.” Lilith breathed in and did her best to stay calm. “No matter what happened between Kevin and me.”
“I know there’s a part of you that would rather believe that Kevin and you divorced,” Calla’s spoke softly. “But even if you did divorce, I know eventually you would have gone back to his family. You would have made time for them.”
Thinking about Kevin’s child, Lilith shook her head. “No, I don’t think I could have gotten there. You think I’m a better person than I am.” Silence stretched between them before Calla finally spoke.
“Don’t take what happened between you and Gaige too seriously.” Calla cleared her throat when Lilith gave her an incredulous stare. “Yes, he behaved poorly, but Gaige has his reasons.” Calla pursed her lips. “His first and only permanent sub cheated all over him at other BDSM clubs. When Gaige found out he ended it, but I’ve always thought he believed it was something lacking in his Dom skills that made her cheat.”
“Jasmine.” Lilith spat the name out with loathing. She remembered how the beautiful woman had begged Gaige to take her back last week.
Calla’s smile was rueful. “You’ll find all sorts of people are drawn to the lifestyle. Jasmine isn’t necessarily a true sub or a pain slut. She enjoys the exhibitionism of doing scenes in front of the crowd. That’s her kink.”
“But she’s not a sub?” Lilith was a bit confused.
“She’s a submissive in that she likes to have her bottom smacked and engage in other BDSM kinks, but she never truly submitted to anyone. If I were going to analyse Jasmine and Gaige’s Dom/sub relationship, I would say that Gaige worked hard to gain her submission, and Jasmine just wanted to get off. Whether he sees that now is another matter entirely,” Calla finished and looked down at her cold mug of tea.
“I submitted to him.” Lilith’s voice was low and soft.
“And that is what will makes all the difference in getting him back.” Calla reached across the table and patted Lilith’s hand. “What do you want to do today? I have cancelled the rest of my patients and am at your disposal.”
Lilith looked at her friend and smiled tightly. “I’m going to make plans for the rest of my life. Maybe some of them will turn out, if not, I know what I want, and I’m not going to run away anymore.”
“Good. Where do you want to start?” Calla asked with a smile on her face.
Pulling up to the curb in front of Kevin’s parents’ house for the second time in as many weeks, Lilith ignored the fact that Calla was studying her intently. Originally, she had wanted to come alone, but now she was more than grateful for the support. She couldn’t chicken out and leave. Giving herself a pep talk, Lilith decided she could do this. Pulling the handle on the door, Lilith kept her gaze on the house as she emerged from the car. It felt like a dream to walk up to the house where she had spent so much of her childhood.
Just as she was about to knock on the door, Ruth opened it with an uncertain expression on her face. Lilith stood staring at the older woman for what felt like an eternity.
“I was watching out the window,” Ruth commented. “You were going to knock?”
“Yes, I guess I was,” Lilith replied lamely. She felt Calla’s presence behind her and knew there was no turning back now. “How have you been, Ruth?”
“Some days are better than others.” She half smiled. “Why don’t you come in?” Ruth stepped out of the doorway and looked over Lilith’s shoulder. “It’s nice to see you too, Calla.”
“Hasn’t been that long.” Calla herded Lilith inside the house and hugged Ruth. Lilith stood looking around the familiar living room. Little had changed since the last time she was here. Everything was the same, except for a box of toys in one corner. Lilith took a deep breath to hold back her swelling emotion. Glancing at the doorway that led to the kitchen in the back, Lilith found it hard to remember that Kevin wouldn’t come barrelling around the corner with food in his hand and a smile on his face.
“I know,” Ruth said and Lilith looked over at her. “Sometimes when it’s just me in the house, I feel like I can still feel him.” Her smile was sad, but her eyes appeared to be taking everything in. “Come, I’ll make a pot of tea.”
Lilith smiled in response, not trusting her voice and followed Ruth into the kitchen. She sat down at the island and Calla followed suit. Wanting to get the inevitable over with, Lilith decided to push through the next few minutes. Whatever happened, at least she had come here and faced her demons.
“Ruth, I want to apologise. I abandoned you, Bob, and Quenton last year.” Lilith took a much-needed breath and watched as Ruth’s shoulders hunched forward as she turned away. “I’m sorry, I should have faced everything that happened with you. We were a family.”
“At the time, you were in shock. We were all in shock.” Ruth finally turned around, and Lilith could tell she was trying to keep her tears in check. “First Kevin’s death and then learning he had a child. The whole thing was something that happened to other people, not us. I can’t imagine what you must have gone through this last year.”
“I was a coward,” Lili
th admitted for the first time.
“No, you were dealing with something that you obviously couldn’t process.” Ruth closed the distance between them and held on to Lilith’s hands. “You were the same way when your father and mother left, so vulnerable and unable to comprehend what happened. I knew you’d come back to us.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Granted I didn’t think it would take this long, but I’m glad to have you back. You’ll always be our daughter-in-law, Lilith.”
“Thank you.” Lilith swallowed around the lump in her throat.
“Now, if you’re ready, I have that box of things I salvaged before the auction.” Ruth bustled out of the kitchen.
“I don’t think I’m ready to go through that stuff.” Lilith felt panic rising up in her system. She wasn’t ready for any of this at all.
“You’re fine, Lilith.” Calla placed a hand on top of one of her own. “Ruth is only giving you the box. Give her a chance to grieve for Kevin. This is about her process, not yours,” Calla explained. “All you have to do is accept the box. After that, you can throw it away or push it into the back of your closet. There’s no time frame on ever opening it, do you understand?”
Lilith nodded her head and watched as Ruth bustled back in. “Here it is.” She placed the box in front of Lilith, but she made no move to touch it. Afraid of what she might find inside.
“Thank you, Ruth,” Calla said and lifted the box from the kitchen island and set it on the floor next to her chair. The two women exchanged a long look, and Ruth seemed to release some of the tension in her face. The kettle popped, and she turned to fuss with the teapot.
“Well, here we all are.” Ruth said with a smile as she turned with the teapot in one hand and a plate of cookies in the other.
Lilith reached forward and grabbed one the homemade chocolate chip and oatmeal cookies. She bit into it and was suddenly transported back to her childhood. “These were Kevin’s favourites.”