Ryan felt an unwelcome prickle of jealousy as Sam shifted uncomfortably in his recliner by the window. She found his scruff sexy? Riley hooted his amusement at the situation.
“Ooh, I like it.” Wynter’s eyes danced as she entered the room, setting a large tray on the coffee table with mugs of coffee, a carton of creamer, and a small crock of sugar. She handed her daughter a sippy cup of milk to keep her curious little hands away from the hot beverages.
“And Riley. You’re ex-military. I bet you’ve got some interesting tats.” Her probing gaze roved over the man’s flannel covered arms and chest.
All three men coughed at Bree’s assessment. Ryan sloshed a bit of his coffee over the side of his mug and hastened to wipe it up with a napkin. Where the hell was his shy little librarian now? She was going toe to ... wheel ... with the cantankerous veteran.
“You want to see my tats?” Riley leered nastily.
“The women of Scallop Shores would pay good money for a chance to put those tats up on their wall.”
“What if I told you I didn’t have any tattoos? I’m just a broken schmo that couldn’t even—”
“Yeah. Boo hoo. You’re in a wheelchair. Got it. You know what else that means? It means you have to use your arms way more than the average guy. It means you probably have the sexiest biceps in Scallop Shores. Show ’em off and I bet you’ll have the ladies lining up out the door.”
“I don’t want the ladies lining up.” He glared at her.
Bree didn’t even flinch. She doctored her coffee, watched him calmly over the top of her mug and quietly took a sip before answering.
“Yes you do. You deserve a chance at love and happiness just as much as anyone else. But you aren’t going to find it hiding out at home all the time.”
“You sound like Wynter.” Riley turned his chair to face away from the group seated around the coffee table.
“Great minds.” Bree nodded at the woman and gave her a little wink.
Ryan watched the exchange like a tennis match, only this was far more entertaining. He could see the man was intrigued. She was bending him. Riley pretended to look disinterested but Ryan could see in the way his hands gripped his chair, the way he sat up just a little straighter, he was listening. He was considering.
“It’s okay to be scared.”
“I’m not scared!” Riley roared as he spun back to face the others, sending young Charlotte scrambling into Sam’s lap with her fingers in her mouth again.
“Really? ’Cause I am,” Sam admitted. “Definitely out of my comfort zone. But I’m learning that sometimes the best things are. And if we don’t push ourselves, we miss out on something pretty special.”
Riley slapped a hand to his forehead. Ryan took a sip of coffee as he thought over those words. Pretty profound speech for a ‘techie’. He snuck a glance at Bree, who continued to look unflustered.
“Well, you aren’t going to show me up, Scruffy. You’re in, I’m in. But the photographer is going to have to come to me. I don’t get out much.”
“We will get him to wherever you need him,” Sam spoke up.
“Why do I even bother to talk? I swear to God, no one listens to me.” Riley threw his hands up in the air and let them slap down onto his lap.
“Thank you. Both of you. I can’t tell you how much this means. We have a full calendar now. And the library is going to get a new roof.” She stood up and approached Riley’s wheelchair.
“So no tats, huh?” She’d placed a small hand on his upper arm, raising her eyebrows and nodding as she checked out the muscle hidden beneath his forest green plaid.
Ryan nearly laughed as he watched the gruff ex-military dude swallow hard as he stared at Bree’s hand on his arm. She squealed in delight as he flexed for her. All right, enough was enough.
“We’ve lined up a photographer for next week, right Bree? We’ll call you about when to come in.” He set his coffee cup back down on the tray and stood up.
“Calm down, Pettridge. I don’t have designs on your woman.” Riley’s eyes crinkled in merriment.
“She’s not my woman,” he blurted out.
“Well, in that case ... ”
Bree had started to stand up, to turn away. Riley gripped her fingers before she could draw away completely. He held her hand, watching Ryan. Gauntlet thrown.
Bastard! Thrusting out his jaw, Ryan’s lips peeled back in a sneer.
“Dude, she so is your woman. Even if you’re too dumb to realize it.” Riley held Bree’s hand a moment longer before releasing it with a sigh. “If you ever get tired of this one, you know where to find me, sweetheart.”
Mumbling a quick thank you, Ryan headed for the door before he decked the jerk. He was messing with him. But it still rankled. The guy had pissed him off just to amuse himself.
Bree hurried after him, scrambling up into the cab while he gunned the engine and turned the heater up against the frigid temperature. She didn’t say a word, but her pursed lips and folded arms told him she wasn’t pleased. Hey, he hadn’t started it. The creep who thought he was God’s gift to women had.
“He’s lonely and insecure. I was showing the man a little kindness. Get over yourself.” She finally turned in her seat to stare down her nose.
“You were flirting with him. You were touching him.”
“And you reacted like a Neanderthal. Honestly, Ryan! I was trying to make the man feel just a little bit more confident about himself.”
“Is that what you were doing with me the other night? At your front door? Giving me a little ‘pep talk’?”
He knew he was being an ass, but he couldn’t stop himself. Fuck the fact that they hadn’t made it official. She was his. And it was high time he let her and everyone else know it.
“Don’t listen to me. I’m talking like a crazy man. Just—” Words failed him at the moment so he decided to tell her how he felt in another way.
Hauling her across the bench seat, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her hard. Bree’s hands slapped at his chest, flailing about until he caught them and wrapped them around his neck. Releasing her lips, he trailed soft kisses along her jawline, up into her hairline and over the shell of her ear. Her breath came out in tiny pants, encouraging him to press her closer, to show her what she did to him.
“Come back to my place. Wes is at school. We can be alone.”
“Not like this, Ryan. Not now.” She unhooked her arms and pushed herself up. Her hair was disheveled and her lipstick smeared. She looked sexy as hell.
“I need you, baby.”
“Then it can wait until you aren’t just reacting out of jealousy or some caveman need to prove your masculinity.” Her smile was gentle, even as the smoldering look in her eyes told him she wanted him just as badly.
“I’ve got a birthday coming up.” He quirked a brow.
She laughed out loud. “I was thinking of getting you something you’d be able to unwrap.”
“Perfect. I knew we were on the same page.” Trailing a hand up her thigh, he chuckled as she swatted it away.
“Not until your birthday, you dog!”
As Wesley used to say when he was younger, “three more sleeps.” Three more sleeps until he was in heaven.
Chapter 10
She could do this. She’d talked twelve hot men into posing for a calendar with their shirts off. She could walk into a bar and order a drink. She didn’t have to talk to anyone until Cady and Quinn arrived. No, that was the old Bree talking. She’d challenge herself to make small talk with someone.
“Chardonnay, please.” She shifted from one foot to the other while she waited for the bartender to pour her wine.
“Hey, if it ain’t the sexy librarian? How you doin’?”
Bree turned around, ready with a nasty retort for the jerk making fun of her. It was one of the younger lobstermen that frequented Cady’s Dream. And he was smiling. Like, friendly smiling. And his expression was almost ... appreciative? Wait, what?
The man made no
attempt to hide the fact that he was checking out her ass in her skinny jeans. Well, his eyes started at the heels of her tall boots before roaming slowly up to her hair that she’d left down for the evening, but returned quickly to her ass. Huh.
“Um, good.”
“Name’s Norm. I’m sitting with a few buddies over in the corner there, if you’d like to join us.” The bearded man with the friendly eyes pointed to a crowded table toward the back.
Bree’s smile was hesitant. She searched the faces around her to see if anyone else was in on the gag. Was this a set up? She wasn’t used to being picked up in a bar and her first instinct was to assume that she was being played.
Then again, this was her first time inside Smitty’s. Perhaps if she’d found her way in here years ago, she wouldn’t still be single. Oh, who was she kidding? She’d have never gotten up the nerve to meet her friends for drinks before now. She had barely managed to push herself through the door tonight.
“I’m sorry, I’m meeting someone, actually.” Two someones, and they were women. But she left that last part out.
“Cool. Well, it was good seeing you.” He winked at her before heading back to his table.
Bree paid for her drink and was relieved to see Quinn step through the door, waving as she spotted her. There was exactly one empty table left in the whole bar and they both headed for it from different directions.
“Ah, wine. Classy. I, myself, am in the mood for a mojito.” Quinn lifted a hand in the air and signaled the waitress weaving her way between the tables.
“When did you get that streak? I love it!” Bree reached out and lifted a lock of Quinn’s hair. The normal blonde strand was now a bright bubblegum pink. Bold. Much bolder than she could ever do. But it really looked good on Quinn.
“Kayla did it for me last weekend. Lily is begging to have one just like it but Jonah won’t even consider it. He told her she has to be sixteen before she can have permanent color in her hair.”
“Fuddy duddy.” Bree grinned. Though she knew Jonah’s little girl, from his first marriage, had him wrapped around her pinky and if she wanted something badly enough, he’d eventually give in.
“I know, right?” Quinn’s drink arrived and they clinked glasses as they laughed.
“Hey, what fun am I missing? Digging the pink hair! That’s the same shade we use in our advertising.” Cady slipped the strap of her purse onto an empty chair and sat down to join them.
“So, I think I got hit on while I was waiting for you guys to get here.” Bree frowned slightly.
“You think?” Cady pulled her chair closer to the table.
“He was nice. And he invited me to sit with his friends at their table.” Bree nodded discreetly in the direction of the table in question.
“So what made you doubt his motives?” Quinn looked confused.
“I don’t know. Because it’s me, I guess. And he recognized me as the town librarian.”
“And didn’t run screaming in the other direction?” Cady shook her head. “Sweetie, you need to get used to the attention. Things like that are going to happen more and more often.”
“Until word gets out ... that I’m off the market.” She hunched her shoulders and winced, unsure what their reaction would be to that bombshell.
“Whoa, are we still talking Ryan Pettridge? Girl, you have it bad for him.” Quinn took a sip of her Mojito and shared a knowing look with Cady.
It was now or never. The reason she’d invited them to meet her for drinks tonight. They didn’t understand the history between her and Ryan. No one did. Theirs had been a secret love, all those years ago. And quite short-lived as it turned out.
But now he wanted to start over—or was it again? Oh, it was so confusing! And he wanted to pick up right where they’d left off. It wasn’t like she was a prude or anything. Sure, she hadn’t had sex since their one and only night together. But the more time she spent with Ryan, the more she was reminded that she had a libido and it was tired of waiting.
And then right behind that, the guilt. She owed him the whole truth about what had happened that night. Ryan deserved to know that he’d fathered a child before Wesley. That his son or daughter hadn’t made it past their twelfth week of gestation. But keeping news like that to herself had become such a force of habit that sharing it with him, with anyone, was almost impossible to contemplate.
So she’d called Cady and Quinn and initiated her first girls’ night out. She’d made herself a promise: no more keeping this painful secret alone. No more holding it over her own head as punishment for acting on her feelings for Ryan. Tonight she’d finally get it out in the open, get some advice from the women she’d come to trust.
“Wait, I definitely need a drink for this!” Cady waved down the waitress and ordered a beer.
And I need another one. Bree asked for another Chardonnay, gulping down the last two sips remaining in her glass before plunking the empty stemware onto the startled waitress’s tray.
“Damn, we should have chosen a designated driver for tonight.” Cady sat back in her chair, slapping a happy tune on the table with her hands.
“This will be my only one then.” Quinn sipped slowly, her gaze speculative.
“Good thing we talked you into buying out Victoria’s Secret. What set are you going to wear? The black lace thong? That hot electric blue number?”
Bree took a deep breath, looking from one friend to the other as she collected her nerve. The wine had relaxed her muscles, made her tongue go a little numb. But the butterflies in her stomach were still restless as hell and she wished they’d take a little nap, just long enough for her to tell her story.
The waitress brought their drinks around and Bree left her a big tip, encouraging her to come back and check on them often. After seeing her down half of this second glass of wine before she spoke, both women now watched silently. She chewed at her lower lip, laughing nervously.
“Sorry, I’m a little out of my element tonight. The bar scene, girl talk ... trying to get up the nerve to spill some heavy shit.” She gasped, surprised that a curse word could slip out of her mouth so easily. Maybe she shouldn’t hit the alcohol quite so hard.
“Sweetie, you can tell us anything, you know that, right? It goes no further than this table.” Cady scooted her chair closer, patting Bree’s hand.
“Okay, yeah, so ... Ryan Pettridge. This isn’t the first time we’ve fallen for each other. It won’t be the first time we’ve had sex.”
“But I thought he dated the head cheerleader all through high school. Haley Carmody? He married her while they were still in college, right?” Quinn pulled her own chair closer to Bree’s.
“Yes and yes. And so that you don’t have to be the one to say it out loud, I slept with him the summer he left for college—while he was still dating Haley.”
There was a long pause while the other two women digested this news.
“You were so shy in high school. He must have meant a lot to you for you to be so brave,” Quinn breathed.
“Why did he stay with her?” Cady looked like she was starting to get defensive on Bree’s behalf.
“We were very much in love and the stupidly ironic part is that he stayed with her because he felt so awful for cheating on her. And he felt that I deserved better than a man who couldn’t be faithful to his girlfriend.”
“Clearly he was meant to be with you, not her. They didn’t even last.” Cady clinked her bottle of Sam Adams against Bree’s glass of Chardonnay.
“And fate has brought them together again. It’s kismet.” Quinn’s hands fluttered over her heart, and Bree knew by the dreamy look on her face that she was sincere.
She’d done the right thing, coming to them. Taking another fortifying breath, she continued.
“There’s just one thing Ryan never knew about our time together. A big thing. That I never told anyone about before tonight.”
Reaching for her glass, she downed the contents in one gulp, shuddering as it burned a trail d
own her throat. She carefully set it back on the table as the room began to spin just a little. If she weren’t so focused on purging herself of this guilt, she might have giggled over how carefree she felt, limbs pleasantly heavy. Did she still have lips? She brought a hand to her mouth just to make sure. Yep, still there. Just couldn’t feel ’em.
Gone were the guessing games as Cady and Quinn waited patiently for her to tell her story. That sobered her up a bit. She blinked, hoping like hell that she could get through this without crying.
“There was a baby. I didn’t tell anyone, not even my mother. But I was so happy. A little piece of Ryan, of the love we shared. I could only have him for that one special night. But this baby was mine forever.” She twisted her fingers together in her lap, too scared to look up and gauge her friends’ reactions so far.
“I knew he loved me. I never doubted it. He did the noble thing by staying with Haley. And since I had my own little reminder of our love, it didn’t hurt quite as much.”
She reached for her wine glass, only to remember it was empty. Cady made to signal for the waitress and Bree stopped her with a shake of her head. She needed to be able to remember this conversation in the morning or it was all for nothing.
“I was twelve weeks along when the bleeding started. I was away at college. They couldn’t stop it.”
“Oh, Bree.”
Her eyelids stung as both her friends reached out, pulling her into an awkward group hug. When they drew away, tears rolled unchecked down their own cheeks. She was holding it together by a thread, her chest thick with emotion, concentrating on keeping her breathing even. Cady grasped one of her hands and Quinn the other. They sat like that for a few moments, just holding on, lending their support and sharing in her grief.
“I thought, this isn’t a coincidence. God is punishing me for being with someone else’s boyfriend. I pulled into myself—even more than usual. I hid behind my books. I told myself I didn’t deserve friends, dates, or any kind of social life.”
She gave them a tremulous smile.
“But this has gone on long enough. I made a decision at your wedding, Cady. I am through punishing myself over something I had no control over. Ryan and I have a chance to start again, to do things right this time around.”
Always My Hero Page 11