“Davis isn’t going to be my daddy, is he?”
The question crushed her. This is the way it would always be. She and Sydney against the world, alone and wishing for the impossible. No one in Whisper Falls would ever believe Lana was a new creature in Christ. She didn’t even believe it herself. She’d always be one of those “awful Ross girls.”
Maybe they should move again. Somewhere.
Chapter Fourteen
Davis finally found time to do the remodel work for Austin and Annalisa, but it wasn’t going well. Not well at all.
With a grunt, he jammed a freshly cut diamond of tile into place above the sink. Frustrated that it was a fraction too large, he pushed harder. The expensive tile snapped.
He grabbed the fragments and threw them as hard as he could. The sound banged against the wall and clattered to the floor.
“Rough day?” Austin Blackwell’s voice turned him around.
He felt as Nathan must have when Davis caught him drawing happy faces on his bedroom wall. “I thought you were moving cattle.”
“Moved ’em.” The big cowboy leaned a shoulder against the doorjamb. “Everything all right with you?”
“Yeah.” Davis stacked his hands on his hips and dropped his head. Pieces of tile sparkled in the artificial light at his feet. He’d never done that before. Not even in the frustrating days of training. “No.”
“That’s what I figured. You’re not yourself the past couple of days.” Austin jerked his head toward the hallway. “Coffee’s on.”
“Thanks.” Davis followed the other man down the hall and into the kitchen, feeling awkward but wanting to explain. Somehow. “Look, Austin, I apologize for what just happened. I don’t want you to think this has anything to do with your tile job. I’ll get this fixed up nice for Annalisa before Christmas the way you want. I want to. It’s just that...I’ve got...stuff on my mind.”
“I figured. You’re not a person to throw things and have fits.” The tall cowboy pointed a coffee mug and grinned. “That would be my sister.”
Davis returned the grin as he scraped back a chair and sat down at the wooden table. Austin put the cup of coffee in front him and sat down with his own.
“I don’t make a habit of sticking my face in another man’s business but if you want to talk...”
The statement almost made Davis laugh. Austin was about as private as a man could get, a man who didn’t carry tales, a man to trust.
“I’m a mess.”
“Must be a woman.”
Davis huffed out a frustrated breath. “Yeah.”
“Been there.”
Yes, he had, though Davis didn’t know all the details. Right now, he hurt so bad, he couldn’t sleep, couldn’t think straight and, apparently, couldn’t even do his job well—the work he loved, the work Lana referred to as his art.
He felt torn between what he wanted and what he thought was the right thing to do. His first priority was his children, but all Nathan and Paige had done since the big reveal was mope around or ask to go to Lana’s house. Even the coming Christmas parade and bazaar didn’t excite them. They wanted Lana and Sydney to come along, and even his best explanation wasn’t good enough. As disappointed as he was with Lana, he’d never tell his kids about her lifestyle.
“Lana,” he said.
“Figured as much. You two seemed pretty tight. Annalisa predicted wedding bells.”
The comment shot a knife through his gut. “Not hardly.” And then, like a compressed volcano, the words flowed out. There in the Blackwells’ kitchen with an old black dog at his feet and a coffee cup in hand, he opened his soul to a good friend. Austin reacted as expected. He sipped his coffee and listened.
When the words ran out, the room grew silent except for the occasional tick of a digital clock and the soft snore of the old dog.
Austin pushed back from the table to refill the coffee cups. Davis shook his head. He’d barely touched his. A fuzzy poodle with red painted toenails tapped into the kitchen and laid her head on the lab. The old dog sighed as if he’d been expecting the interruption.
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.” Davis stuck his elbows on the table and clasped his hands. “Nothing, I suppose, though I worry about Sydney, Lana’s little—” He caught himself. “The little girl.”
“Why? Does Lana mistreat her?”
“Lana? No way! Lana’s a great mother. She’s crazy about that kid. She sacrificed everything to bring Sydney here and give her a good home.”
Austin studied him for a long, silent moment. “Sounds like you still care. Are you going to turn her in?”
“No. No.” The idea of pulling Sydney away from the woman she considered her mother was impossible. “I can’t. Maybe I should but I can’t. I’m not sure what to do. I wish Lana had been straight with me from the beginning.”
“Secrets hurt.”
“Tell me about it. I thought we had something. I knew she hadn’t led a perfect life and she knew that I knew. So why couldn’t she trust me with the rest?”
Austin was quiet again for a few seconds. Then, he set his coffee aside and leaned forward. “When my first wife died, I was accused of her murder. You probably know that.”
Davis nodded. He’d heard. He also knew the cowboy was found innocent.
“You can’t imagine the pain and shame that comes with a charge of that magnitude. And the grief. I was out of my mind with it. I moved here, kept to myself, afraid my secret would get out.” Austin huffed softly. “Afraid of what people would think and of how they’d stare at me and wonder if I’d kill them, too. That’s a hard thing to bear, Davis.”
“But you were innocent.” Lana wasn’t, and Davis didn’t see how the two situations compared.
“Yes. But keeping that secret almost cost me a chance at a life with Annalisa.” Austin swigged his coffee and stood. “Only got one other thing to say, Davis. A man knows his own heart and you gotta do what’s right for you and your family. But remember this, too. It’s carried me through some tough times. Whom the Son has set free is free indeed.”
While Davis pondered the Bible verse, Austin jammed his hat on his dark head. “I gotta get back to work. I suspect you do, too. Don’t bother to lock up when you leave. I’ll be in the barn.”
He nodded once and went out the back door.
The poodle hopped up to follow, then changed her mind and tagged along with Davis. He went back to the broken tile, his mind trying to unravel the conversation with Austin. What exactly was his friend getting at?
After another frustrating hour of mismeasuring, broken tile and questioning looks from a prissy poodle, Davis tossed his tools into his truck and headed toward Jenny’s house. Getting over Lana was going to take more than a conversation and a cup of hot coffee.
As he drove through town, he spotted her coming out of the newspaper office. His heart leaped and then sank like the Titanic. She looked great, her mink hair flowing over her shoulders, a bright blue scarf around her neck. Sydney was with her. The little girl pointed at something and smiled her shy smile. Davis suffered an undeniable pull toward the woman and child. Would she even speak to him if he stopped? He tapped the brake and then thought better of it.
Leave it alone. Let her go. Trust is crucial in a relationship.
He wished she’d told him. He liked to think he would have been man enough to weather the storm.
Even after he drove on, he watched Lana and Sydney in the rearview mirror until, holding hands they went inside the dollar store.
Tomorrow was the Christmas bazaar, a massive event that took place inside the community center. She’d be there, gathering the news for the paper. He’d be there, too, as promised, helping with setup, teardown and anything else Miss Evelyn needed. Along with most other business people, he’d donated to the cause. This year, he’d upped his donation, hoping for larger bids that would help Jenny and Chuck gather the finances they needed for Charlie’s surgery. Not that they didn’t have
insurance, but insurance didn’t cover everything. Not even close. For people from remote areas, just the cost of staying away from home for long stretches of time was burdensome. Add transportation, co-pays, deductibles and all the extras, and average folk were strapped.
At Jenny’s house, he said hello to Charlie before collecting his children. The boy was on oxygen now most of the time, his lips blue and his energy low. He’d gone downhill rapidly.
“The cardiologist thinks we can wait until after the New Year to have the surgery.” Jenny twisted her hands, a perpetual stress line between her eyes. “Chuck isn’t sure that’s the right thing to do.”
“He’s scared, sis.”
“I know. I am, too. But the doctor gave me his personal number in case something goes wrong. I trust him.”
“That’s good.” He shifted, worried, wanting to help and not knowing how. “Are Nathan and Paige too much right now? I can ask Mom to watch them.”
“Of course not. Unless you don’t want them staying with me anymore.” She put a hand to her mouth. “You’re still mad at me, aren’t you?”
“No.” He wasn’t mad, he was broken.
“I can’t bear it if you are. With all of this—” Her hand fluttered but he understood. She was on overload, afraid for her child, working on town and church events, preparing for Christmas while caring for a husband and kids, including his.
“You did what you did out of love. I get that.” Davis pulled her into a hug, heavy-hearted. When he released her, he said, “See you tomorrow?”
“Wouldn’t miss it. Charlie’s excited about going.”
“Come on, munchkins,” he called to his kids and led the way to the truck.
On the short drive home, Paige and Nathan were unusually subdued. They weren’t even playing a video game. He knew something was up.
“Daddy,” Paige said, as they drove past the glistening river. “Is Charlie going to die?”
Davis flinched. He didn’t normally balk at discussing anything with his kids, but this was a tough one. He made his voice sound especially chipper. “Charlie is going to get an operation. If all goes well, he’ll be jumping on the trampoline pretty soon and by summer, you can all go swimming together.”
“But he could die. Like Mommy.”
Davis gripped the steering wheel tighter. So much for being chipper. “No one can answer that for sure, pumpkin, but we will pray every day that Charlie gets well.”
“Can we pray for Lana, too? She’s sad that you’re mad at her.”
“I’m not mad—” He shot a look in the mirror. “How do you know she’s sad?”
“Sydney told me at school. She said they might move away again and she’s scared she’ll have to go to foster care.”
Move away? Where?
“That’s not going to happen.” As if he had any say in either matter.
“Can we go see them after dinner?” Nathan asked. “I made Lana a present in art class.”
“That’s not a good idea, buddy.”
“Why? Sydney said they bought us a present. She said they miss us something awful. I miss them something awful, too. Can’t you kiss and make up?”
“I don’t think so, pal.”
“Don’t you love her anymore?”
There was the crux. He did. His kids did. Nothing she’d told him had changed that.
He stopped the truck in the driveway and sat at the wheel looking up the street at the Ross house. He had no words to explain the complicated issue to his children. He couldn’t even explain it to himself. Even if he could, their thinking was different. They saw with their hearts. They lived in the here and now, heedless of past mistakes, believing in the person Lana appeared to be. She’d been good to them. She’d loved them and they’d loved her in return. That’s all they understood.
Why couldn’t adulthood could be that simple?
* * *
The Whisper Falls Community Center was packed. An all-purpose building, the floor had been covered and now boasted long tables and booths laden with Christmas arts and crafts, silent auction items and tons of beautiful food and colorful gift baskets. At one end, a stage had been set up for entertainment and announcements.
Lana moved around the large open area, Sydney at her side, admiring the handiwork of many artists and crafters. Even her best attempts at making Christmas ornaments with Haley were laughable compared to the blown glass, the leatherwork, the gorgeous woodworking. She was glad she’d left her childish attempts at home. Haley’s art, on the other hand, was proving popular. Her auburn-haired friend’s table was surrounded by customers snatching up whimsical birdhouses and elegantly carved vases. All the while, Haley painted, personalizing the artwork on request. She was in her element with a proud husband at her side, talking to customers in his charming way.
“Donations are off the charts this year,” Miss Evelyn said as she bustled past, an iPad in hand. “Look at all these out-of-towners. You’re going to sing for us later, aren’t you?”
Lana’s heart jumped into her throat. They’d hired a band. They didn’t need her. Someone called Evelyn’s name and she rushed away, leaving Lana to wonder why the older woman kept pushing.
Across the gym she saw Davis and the children arrive along with Jenny and Chuck. Chuck pushed a wan, listless Charlie in a wheelchair, a heartbreaking sight. Little boys were supposed to be full of energy like Nathan. Her gaze went to the dimple-cheeked boy who’d stolen her heart. She missed his hugs, his sweetness, his funny, little-boy view of the world.
Davis caught her looking and leveled a steady, heart-thudding stare in return. She glanced away.
Apparently, he’d kept her secret, though he’d never promised. She’d worried about that, afraid she’d have to take Sydney and run again. She’d do it if she had to, just as any mother would do what was right for her child. But Sydney was happy here. She was doing better in school. She’d made friends. Even though she missed the Davis children, Sydney was excited about Christmas. Lana was determined to give her the best one of her life.
“There’s a lot to see,” she said as the Boggy Boys Band struck up a bluegrass tune. “Do you want your face painted?”
“Can I ask Paige to come with me?”
“I don’t think so, sugar.” She’d known they would run into the Davis trio, but she couldn’t let that stop her from doing her part for the event. In a town as small as Whisper Falls, seeing the Turner family was inevitable. They’d have to cope and move on. Somehow.
“I signed up to help with the concession. Want some barbecue?”
“I guess.”
Lana poked a finger in Sydney’s ribs. “Don’t be so enthusiastic.”
They made their way through a sea of people to the concession area, drawn by the smell of donated barbecued ribs and all the fixings. Lana got busy filling foam plates with baked beans while Cassie Blackwell added the potato salad. Uninterested in food, Sydney moped for a few minutes until a girl from her class whisked her off to the face painting.
“Great crowd,” Cassie said. “I’m really glad. The more money we make, the more we can donate to Charlie’s fund.”
Cassie was one of those irrepressible personalities that everyone liked. Pretty in a long, sparkly Christmas sweater, black tights and very high heels, her white skin was accented by straight black hair and bright red lipstick. She loved to talk and was even better at listening.
“Here girls, put on your Santa hats.” The speaker, an older woman she recognized as Creed Carter’s mother, handed out the red-and-white caps. Lana tried to get into the festive mood though her heart wasn’t in it. How could it be, when her heart was across the room? Try as she might, she couldn’t stop watching for him. He was working, too, carrying boxes to the various tables to keep the merchants stocked.
For the thousandth time she wished she’d trusted him from the beginning. He’d always been a stand-up guy—a fact that brought her full circle. Davis deserved better. The breakup was for the best.
But he’d
said he cared for her, and dreams die hard.
She missed him something awful, missed the evenings with him and his children, missed the conversations, the laughter, the kisses.
“Hi, Lana.”
The small voice pulled her focus away from Davis to his children standing on the opposite side of the serving counter. Paige and Nathan, money in hand, had joined the line of diners.
“Hi, you two. Want some barbecue?” She tried to be as casual as possible, but she wanted to run around the end of the counter and scoop them up.
“Three rib dinners, please,” Paige said. “But I don’t want any potato salad.”
“No potato salad. Coming right up.”
She fixed the plates and handed them over, adding an extra couple of ribs to Davis’s order. A meat and potato man, he loved barbecue, as she’d learned the day they’d ripped out the kitchen’s ancient, decayed paneling. He’d purposely ordered enough barbecue ribs to last the weekend. They’d giggled like kids over the messy sauce, the pile of red-stained paper towels and the hot, hot sauce he’d convinced her to try. Her tongue still burned at the memory.
Paige leaned in closer. “Daddy said to tell you hi.”
She doubted that very much. “That’s really nice of him.”
“Should I tell him hi for you?” The child’s face was so eager, Lana couldn’t let her down.
“That would be nice.”
The pair exchanged a conspiratorial glance as they left. Lana shook her head. Such good kids. As they walked away, Lana saw that Paige’s red hair bow matched Sydney’s, a purchase they’d made together. “Like sisters,” they’d said proudly.
I love you. You love me. Let’s be sisters. If only life was that simple.
“Why don’t you knock off a while and eat with them?” Cassie pointed a ladle at the pair weaving their way through the crowd and toward their father.
“Better not. Davis is not speaking to me at the moment.”
“Could have fooled me. I’m watching you watch him. And he’s watching you when you aren’t watching him.”
Lana snorted. “Can you repeat that?”
A Child's Christmas Boxed Set: Sugarplum HomecomingThe Christmas ChildA Season For Grace Page 17