He jabbed at her, using his left hand like a boxer. Jab. Jab. Jab. Then a right hook that nearly caught her. She managed to evade the blow and returned with a volley of her own punches.
Like two prizefighters, they jabbed and hammered at one another with deadly intent, each looking for a knockout blow. As the fisticuffs continued, Cassie’s strength began to flag.
She began to use her legs as well as her arms. She pounded at his chest and stomach with powerful kicks, afraid to aim so high that he might have another opportunity to grab her foot once again and pull her off balance.
Her nose had begun to bleed and she grunted with pleasure as one of her fists caught him on the lip and split it open. It was only fair that if he drew blood from her, she returned the favor.
Cassie felt herself growing weak and she pushed herself harder in an effort to take him down. She was no longer breathing through her nose, but rather gasped openmouthed to draw in oxygen. He seemed to sense her weakness and doubled his efforts to take her down.
She saw her death in his ice-blue eyes, saw there his desire to destroy her. He would fight her until he killed her. With each blow he landed, she saw the glee that lit those cold eyes of his, saw that he enjoyed inflicting pain on her.
Her arms began to feel like they weighed fifty pounds a piece and her kicks were growing less powerful. She knew trouble when she felt it, and she was definitely getting into trouble.
In an effort to regain a second wind, she tucked and rolled away from him. His laughter rang out and she knew he laughed because of what he perceived as her retreat. She was vaguely aware of the activity on the floor beneath them. The police were in control, but everyone seemed too occupied to see what and who she faced.
When she regained her feet, she was about fifteen feet away from him. “You should have let it go,” he said, his chest heaving from their exertions. “You should have just let the drugs hit the streets.”
She was grateful he wanted to talk. The momentary respite would give her an opportunity to catch her breath. “It’s murder, Adam.”
“Murder of society scum,” he cried. “Murder of people who deserve to die.”
“If your daughter was alive today, you’d be dealing death to her. Tell the truth, Adam, this isn’t about your daughter anymore. It hasn’t been for a long time. It’s about the money, and the power. You’ve become what you once abhorred, just another drug dealer.”
He stared at her for a long moment, his eyes darkening with a new torment. “Maybe you’re right,” he said softly.
Before she could guess his intent, he dove over the railing of the loft.
“No!” Cassie screamed. She gripped the railing and looked below, where Adam Mercer lay lifeless on the concrete floor. She squeezed her eyes tightly closed and turned away. She hadn’t wanted it to end this way. But it was over.
“Cassie.”
She turned to see Asia standing nearby. In three long strides he had her wrapped in his big strong arms. “God, girl, I thought you were dead.”
“I will be if you don’t stop hugging me so hard,” Cassie replied in a half laugh, half sob.
He released her, but then pulled her back against him for another tight hug. When he released her the second time his dark brown eyes were shining with emotion. “I’ve never been so glad to see anyone in my whole life,” he exclaimed. “I’d hate like hell to lose a partner who kicks butt better than me.” He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her. “You gonna tell me why a woman who’s supposedly on vacation is in a warehouse kicking the butt of a bunch of dope dealers?”
Cassie’s heart swelled with love for the big man. “Probably not. But we’ll talk later.”
“You’d better believe we will.”
“I need to go downstairs and check on someone,” she said as she used the handkerchief to dab at her bloody nose.
“Go. I’ll take care of this guy.”
She started toward the stairs, then turned back to her partner. “Asia, is our patrol car here?”
“Yeah. You need wheels?” She nodded and he pulled a set of keys out of his pocket and tossed them to her. “Go on, I can catch a ride from somebody.”
“Thanks.” Cassie turned and hurried toward the stairs that would take her down on the warehouse floor. There police officers were busy making arrests, securing the scene and tending to the wounded.
Kane.
His name reverberated in her head. Where was Kane? She moved among the wounded and arrested on the floor, heart pounding as she searched for him.
She hadn’t seen him since the police had burst in, was afraid that somehow he’d gotten caught in the crossfire. A dull ache filled her heart as she continued the search for him.
She worked up one side of the warehouse and down the other, but there was no sign of Kane. He wasn’t among the living and he wasn’t among the wounded or dead. He was just gone.
At least she knew by his absence that he was all right. She shouldn’t be surprised that he was gone. He wouldn’t have wanted to tangle with the local authorities and blow his cover.
And now she needed to get out of here. The job had been a success. The tainted drugs would be destroyed before they could harm anyone and Adam’s dope-dealing friends would go away for a very long time.
She probably wouldn’t see Kane again until a new assignment came up that required her kind of talent and that might not be for months…for years.
Afraid to linger too long, afraid that she’d get hung up in red tape that she didn’t want to be a part of, she slipped away from the warehouse and to the patrol car.
There was only one place she wanted to go…one place she needed to go. As she drove away from the warehouse, she felt the glow of a job well done coupled with a physical and mental exhaustion.
She held on to the glow. There would never be any public awareness of what they had accomplished. She knew any news story that broke about the big drug bust would not contain any mention of the undercover operation that she’d been a part of.
The local police department and DEA would be heralded as heroes, taking down a nasty operation before anyone could get hurt. That was fine with her. She didn’t want public adulation. She just felt good, knowing she had done well and justice would be served.
It was just about noon when she pulled into a parking space in front of the Good Life Gardens. Every muscle in her body ached and she wanted nothing more than to go home to her house and soak for about five hours in a hot tub.
But, in the fray of things, she hadn’t had a chance to contact Max and tell him that the newscast about her death had been bogus.
She had a feeling Max was going to be very angry with her when he saw her. She hoped the shock of seeing her alive and well didn’t make him have a heart attack. She also hoped he’d forgive her when he stopped cursing at her.
She knocked on his door and when she heard his voice yell “come in,” she entered. He sat at the kitchen table working a crossword puzzle. He looked up at her and frowned.
“About time you showed up.”
She breathed a sigh of relief and sank into the chair opposite him. “You didn’t buy the news story?”
“Nah.” He grinned at her. “I knew it would take more than one moron to bring down my girl.” He pushed the crossword puzzle aside. “How about you go clean up and I’ll make us some lunch.”
With these simple words, Cassie’s life returned to normal.
Chapter 19
It was after three in the afternoon when Cassie left Max’s place and headed toward her house. As she drove she continued the decompression process that always occurred after an assignment.
The process had begun with lunch with Max. Although she didn’t tell him about her conversation with Kane in the middle of the night and she certainly didn’t share with him the fact that she’d been intimate with Kane, she did tell him all about the operation and how it had gone down.
Now it was back to real life…normal life. She’d go
back to bickering with Ralph Watters, working the streets as a cop and contemplating redecorating her living room. Maybe eventually she’d believe that could be enough, but she didn’t think so.
Kane had been right. She loved working for the agency and this latest assignment had made her realize it was where she belonged.
Maybe safe lifestyles were for some people…for most people, but not necessarily for her. She’d cut her teeth on the streets. Her nighttime lullabies had been sirens implying danger and the scuffles and cries of survival. Maybe that experience had twisted her somehow, making it impossible for “safe” to feel real to her.
She had no idea what the psychological forces were that drove her, she only knew that she felt most alive when she was working for SPACE and partnered with Kane.
Kane. Her time with him, her feelings for him were too fresh, too raw to contemplate. She didn’t want to think of him and she couldn’t go back to work for SPACE unless it was with the understanding that she would not work with Kane. She couldn’t risk the emotional investment he demanded of her.
As she turned onto her street her thoughts jumped from Kane to the address that was burned into her brain—1327 Paseo Drive. Maybe the family she missed, the family she needed was there at this very moment.
She could drive there right now. But did she want to meet her mother and brother after all this time wearing the clothes she’d worn all night and sporting the remnants of a bloody nose?
No, she’d shower and clean up first and then drive to the address and see if there would be a family reunion.
She pulled into her driveway and saw Ralph Watters digging in the flower garden in front of his house. As she stepped out of the car she stifled a groan as he approached.
“Ms. Newton, I’ve been wondering where you’ve been. I haven’t seen you for a while.”
“Work, Mr. Watters. I’ve been working.”
He leaned toward her and frowned, the gesture pulling his nose and mouth almost together, making him look like a caricature of human emotion. “Are you all right? You look kind of banged-up.”
“I’m fine. I’m just tired.”
“I took the liberty of mowing your lawn while you’ve been away. Don’t worry, I didn’t touch your tree.”
For the first time Cassie noticed that, indeed, her lawn was neatly clipped and her flower bed looked as if it had been recently weeded. “Thank you, Mr. Watters, I appreciate it.”
He nodded curtly. “Can’t have the neighborhood blighted by one unmowed lawn.” The implication was that he’d not done it to help her, but had done it to maintain the well-being of the neighborhood. “Next time you need help with things, you call me. A woman alone, it’s probably hard to keep up with everything.”
A burst of hysterical laughter bubbled to her lips but she managed to suppress it. In the last three weeks she’d gone head-to-toe with an ex-con, had scaled the side of a warehouse and had nearly been thrown to her death from a loft. And her neighbor was afraid doing yard work might be too much for her.
Still, she recognized his words for what they were—old cantankerous Ralph had offered an olive branch.
“I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you.” She’d almost reached the front door when she turned back to him.
“Mr. Watters, maybe one day this week you could help me take out this bush.” She pointed to the dried brown bush. “It’s dead, you know.”
He nodded, his eyes lighting up. “You just name the time and I’ll be here to help.”
It was time to get rid of the bush. She wasn’t sure why she’d been so reluctant to have it removed before now. She entered her house and locked the door behind her. She knew her car would be in the garage and her keys would be on the kitchen table. Somebody from SPACE had made sure that things were once again the way they had been before she’d started the assignment.
But of course things weren’t the way they had been before. Before the assignment she hadn’t had an address for her mother. Before the assignment she’d been able to fool herself into believing that Kane meant nothing to her.
The bathtub called and she heeded the call. She started the water running, added a healthy dollop of bath oil, then stripped off all her clothes.
As she waited for the bathtub to fill she studied her nude reflection in the mirror on the back of the bathroom door. New bruises were beginning to show along with the old ones.
The most vivid was on her knee, where Mercer had hit her over and over again as he’d tried to get her leg off the railing when she’d gone over the edge of the loft.
Yellows and purples decorated her jaw on the lower side, and all over her body what wasn’t bruised ached. A long hot soak would do her a world of good.
Minutes later she eased down into the water, sighing with pleasure as the steamy hot water soothed muscles.
1327 Paseo Drive.
1327 Paseo Drive.
The address thundered in her brain, momentarily stilling the hollow emptiness in her chest. The address flashed like a neon sign piercing the darkness of a long, lonely night. It was like an itch that had to be scratched.
She dressed carefully, choosing a pair of navy slacks and a red blouse. As she dressed, her thoughts once again went to Kane. She didn’t expect to see him again. The conversation they’d had in the warehouse had offered him no resolution, no hope that they would ever again share a relationship of any kind.
Kane was a proud man. He wouldn’t come begging for her. No, it was time for her to readjust to her life…the safe life she’d chosen.
By the time she walked out her front door, the Escort that had been her wheels for the past couple of weeks had disappeared from her driveway. Moments later back in her shiny red Mustang, she headed south toward the Paseo Bridge and the address where her mother lived.
The cool, calm that had always been a companion when faced with difficulty deserted her. With each mile that took her closer to the address, anxiety gripped her.
Her stomach began to ache. Maybe she was coming down with the flu, she thought. Maybe she should wait and do this another day.
“Yeah, right,” she said aloud. “Maybe you should wait until you grow hair on your chest, or get a tattoo or eat a spider.”
It would be far too easy to turn around and forget the whole thing, but she knew if she didn’t do it now, she might never do it at all, and it had to be done. She had to see if her mother was there. She had no idea exactly what she wanted or what she needed, but she knew it was something.
She parked her car two blocks from the address. For a long moment she remained in the car, fighting an overwhelming feeling of nausea and the worst case of nerves she’d ever experienced in her life.
She gripped the steering wheel tightly, her hands sweaty. She was thirty years old. She’d lived almost twenty of those years without the benefit, love, or protection of her mother. So why did any of it matter now?
She had no answer. She only knew it did.
Her legs trembled as she got out of the car. She sensed eyes peeking out of windows, saw in her peripheral vision several gang members veer off the sidewalk and disappear into a nearby house.
She kept her gaze focused straight ahead, knowing the house she sought was in the next block. Where was the calm, rational frame of mind that always overtook her in times of stress? Why did she feel as if she were about to splinter into a thousand pieces?
1297. 1391. 1303. She began to watch the addresses as she continued walking, although her footsteps had slowed as her heartbeat raced faster.
The houses were old, two-stories in brick and wood. Some had been renovated and shone with new paint and the tidiness of care. Others had fallen to near-ruin, with sagging front porches and boarded-up windows.
1305. 1307. 1309. Closer…closer she moved toward the past that had haunted her for so long. Closer…closer she moved to the answers to questions that had tormented her throughout the years.
1311. 1313. 1315. Sweat trickled down the small of her back, a nervous swe
at that chilled her to the bone. She wished she had her necklace to clutch in her hand, the necklace with the locket that contained the picture of her mother and of Billy.
Would she even recognize her mother? Would her mother recognize her? Cassie knew better than to think her mother was still the woman in the tiny photograph. Almost twenty years had passed since that photo had been taken. 1327.
Cassie stared at the house and fought a surge of hysterical laughter that threatened to erupt from deep within her. Boards were nailed up across the front door to prevent entry. The windows were all smashed, leaving gaping maws in place of glass. A sign on the door warned trespassers not to enter, that the place had been condemned.
Her mother didn’t live here. Nobody had lived here for a long time. She hadn’t realized how high her hopes had been until this moment. She hadn’t realized how badly she’d wanted a reunion with the woman who had given her birth and little else.
In all the years since she’d been left behind, abandoned on the streets, she’d never cried. Now emotion clawed its way up her throat, almost choking her. Tears blurred her vision as a small sob ripped from her.
All she’d wanted was her family, the connection of blood and love that had been absent for so long. She closed her eyes against the stinging tears that flowed down her cheeks.
Time to let go, Cassie, a little voice whispered in her head. Time to stop yearning for something she would never have. Like that dead bush in her flower garden that she’d finally decided to let go of, it was time to put away her dream of ever having a family who loved her.
She opened her eyes and cast one last look at the house, then turned and started to walk back toward her car. She’d only taken a couple of steps when Kane stepped out from behind a tree.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
He leaned against the tree, looking as handsome, as sexy as she’d ever seen him. “Waiting for you.” His dark eyes lingered on her face where she knew the remnants of her tears were still probably visible.
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