They didn’t waste any time in leaving, either, and I felt their relief when I let them off the hook. Bolting the door and turning off the light, I made my way back to Mya for another overnight vigil over her fragile body.
LEAH
I was running late and feeling the weekend. Briskly brushing my hair back into a makeshift ponytail, I hastily applied my makeup while barking out instructions to Kayla and Malik to hurry. I refused to be late that day because it would be my first day back in the word processing center, and I was looking forward to it.
I had been gaining experience working in different departments all over the firm, but no department had made me as comfortable as the word processing center. Andrea and I had a connection, and I enjoyed the light banter that we shared.
I dropped the kids off at day care without going to each of their individual classes to make sure they were settled, making it to work with only ten minutes to spare.
“Morning,” I said as the door to the word processing center closed behind me.
Andrea was happy to see me and gave me a big hug, but the other black lady who was sitting next to where I used to sit merely grunted.
“Welcome back,” Andrea said. “I sure did miss you. How was it?”
“It was okay, and I focused on something different every day, but I missed this place!” I laughed.
Andrea turned to the other lady and said, “Tarcia, this is Leah Simmons. She’s been here for about two months.”
“Hi,” I said and still got a grunted response. No smile lit up her eyes as she looked me up and down with disdain. Right that second, I realized that I was going to have problems with her, but had no idea why. She was an okay-looking, dark-skinned sister with a short, natural haircut. Her makeup was artfully applied and, if she didn’t have such an evil snarl on her face, she might have even been pretty.
Trying to cover up for Tarcia’s rudeness, Andrea started babbling. “Tarcia was on her honeymoon when you started and was only scheduled to be gone for two weeks. Unfortunately, she miscarried while she was away and is just now returning to work.”
“Damn, you didn’t have to tell her all that,” Tarcia said, jumping up from her chair. She walked over to the door, snatching it open. “It’s my business, and I decide who hears it, not you!” she said, slamming the door behind her, rattling the glass.
“Lawd, that girl is a hot mess. I don’t know how to take her. One minute she’s so nice you can eat from her fingers, and the next minute she’s trying to gnaw off your arm,” Andrea said, shaking her head.
“If she recently lost a baby, I can understand the mood swings,” I said, having a moment of sympathy for Tarcia. “I would’ve hated to lose any one of my children. Was this her only child?”
“Yes. Personally, I think that’s why she rushed to marry a guy she hardly knew. And if you want my opinion, things aren’t going so well because she’s been difficult to work with ever since she came back.”
“Well, I’m not trying to get caught up in any drama so, if you don’t mind, I’ll take the farthest seat from her. She doesn’t appear to like me, and I want to keep my distance.”
“Sure, make yourself at home. I got the word today that you can stay here, if you want to. You’ve made quite a name for yourself, and the partners want you to be happy,” she said, smiling.
“Oh, I’m happy to be back, and I’d love for this to be my permanent assignment,” I said, beaming back at her. I walked past Tarcia’s desk, and I suddenly felt like I had been popped with a sledgehammer. On her desk she had a big 8 x 10 picture, obviously from the wedding, that almost made me drop everything I was carrying to the floor.
It wasn’t so much her picture but who was in the picture. Her new husband was the father of my children. I was looking at the man I had married six years ago as he gazed into Tarcia’s eyes, holding her hand. Bending over as if severely punched in the stomach, I almost managed to make it to my desk without falling down. Time stood still, and I could feel my knees buckling, but I could not stop them from trembling. I collapsed on the floor, hitting my head in the process. This can’t be happening!
Andrea ran over to me and helped me to a nearby chair.
“Oh dear, are you okay?” she asked, fanning my face.
“Uh, yeah. I just slipped; that’s all,” I lied, trying to regain control over my emotions.
“You’re so pale. Let me get you some water.” She rushed out the door to the water cooler.
Things were becoming clearer to me. Kentee loved children. He must have left me when he realized he couldn’t handle our own special needs daughter. He was trying to start a new family, and the shit backfired. “No wonder he told Kayla he was coming back home,” I said out loud.
Armed with answers to the questions that had been nagging me ever since Kentee had left, I felt calmer. I didn’t excuse his behavior, but I understood. Mya was enough to make anyone run for cover, but because she had lived inside of me long before she slipped into this world, I had a bond with her that Kentee could never develop. Finally, it was clear to me that I didn’t fail at being a wife. Kentee had failed at being a father.
I managed to get through work without any confrontations with Tarcia. She had to know who I was and that explained her reactions to me. So she kept to herself and so did I. I buried myself in depositions and transcripts, and she carried on lengthy conversations on the phone with Kentee, I assumed. I was the first person to leave at the end of the day. And I couldn’t wait to get home and process my new information.
I flew into the day car center and collected the kids, trying to get out before Craig even knew that I was there. As luck would have it, Mya was in his office. I didn’t want to see him since we had become rather close over the last few months and he would surely know that I was battling with something.
“Leah, how are you?” he said, putting down the magazine he was reading when I entered his office.
“Oh, I’m making it,” I said as I went over to gather Mya up from her nap.
“Let me,” he said. Our hands touched when he tried to take Mya from my arms. The jolt that ran through my veins shocked me, and I jumped back as if burned. Clearly he felt it also because he looked startled; almost dropping Mya. He gazed at me with hooded eyes, and I promptly forgot that he was a married man.
“Wow,” he said, and I could not raise my eyes from the carpet. He was such a handsome man. I tried not to spend too much time in his company, fearing becoming sexually attracted to him.
“Um, I’ll go get Kayla and Malik,” I said, backing out of the room.
“Wait, we need to talk about this,” he said, stepping too close to me.
“About what?” I said with feigned innocence.
“You know what I’m talking about. Please don’t try to downplay it,” he said, sounding annoyed.
I looked at Mya’s sleeping face, and decided I just didn’t have it in me to discuss anything other than going home at the moment.
“Okay, I’ll bite. I know exactly what you’re talking about, but it’s a moot point. You’re married and, legally, so am I,” I replied.
“Everything isn’t as it seems. You don’t know my situation,” he said.
“And you don’t know mine,” I said, getting angry.
“Yes, I do,” he responded.
“No, you don’t. I just found out that the woman my husband left me for works right next to me. I can’t deal with any more right now!” I said as my voice rose. I had held in my emotions all day, and I felt on the brink of overload.
“Oh, sweetheart,” he said, stepping closer to me. “I didn’t know.”
“Neither did I,” I snapped. “Look, I can’t talk right now. I have a lot of thinking to do. Could you take Mya to the car while I get the others?” I backed out of the room.
“Of course,” he replied, clearly hurt by my bitter tone. But I could not focus on him right then. I had to get home to have the meltdown that had been brewing all day.
I got Kayla and
Malik and was getting them settled in the car when Craig brought out Mya.
“Can I call you tonight?” he asked, and my heart did a leap.
“Uh…yeah, sure,” I said and climbed into the car, shutting the door and ending any further conversation. I gunned the engine and raced out of the parking lot.
Even though I was extremely attracted to Craig, I could not afford to risk a relationship with him that could potentially get my children displaced from the center. I agreed to his calling so I could explain my position because I knew that as long as I was looking into his honey-colored eyes, I would not be able to stick by my decisions.
During the short drive home, I rehearsed everything that I was going to say to him. I was so deeply emerged in my thoughts that I did not see Kentee’s car until I had pulled into the driveway and he had pulled in behind me; blocking off my escape. I pressed the garage door remote but he was able to scoot under it before it closed.
As I looked at the husband who I hadn’t seen in so long, my emotions raged from wanting to slap him to a desire to kiss him to a need to snatch off his dick and set it on fire.
“What are you doing here?” I demanded, placing my hands on my hips and glaring at him. The only thing I didn’t do was snap my fingers in front of my face to dismiss him.
“I needed to see you,” he said, stepping forward as if to touch me.
I took two steps back and bumped against the car door. My movements woke Kayla, and she bounded out of the car screaming, “Daddy!”
“About what? You didn’t want to talk when you left me so why, all of the sudden, do you want to talk?” I asked, turning my back and getting Mya out of her seat. Kayla had wrapped her arms around her daddy’s legs, and tears were flowing freely down her cheeks.
“See, Mommy. I told you Daddy was coming home!”
I looked at her with compassion, but I shot him a look that should have melted him into the pavement.
“Sweetheart, your daddy has another home now. Not to mention another wife. Let’s go in the house. It’s cold,” I said, hurrying to the door as if Kentee was not even present.
My heart was pounding so loudly in my chest, I could barely hear myself think. Sadly enough, after all the hurt that he had caused me, I was still attracted to him. I fumbled with the keys and went inside, laying Mya on the sofa. I went back to the car to get Malik, who had slept through the entire confrontation until I went to pick him up. He saw his father over my shoulder, but he didn’t react one way or the other. That had to hurt Kentee, but he had brought that on himself. I walked past him again and went into the house, after locking my car and grabbing my purse. Briefly, I glanced at Kentee, and he could not even hold up his head.
“Malik? Who is that man?” I asked, pointing to Kentee. Malik looked at him but did not answer; even though he had been at the same party, my son still ignored him like a stranger. “That’s pathetic! Your own son doesn’t even know who you are!”
Kentee didn’t move or acknowledge the dig I had delivered. Part of me wanted to be the bitch, but another part of me, the part that still loved him, wanted to hear from his lips why he had chosen another woman over his family.
“Can Daddy come in?” Kayla asked.
I had to stifle the urge to scream at her. I stopped, contemplating my next move. If I denied Kayla the opportunity to spend time with her father, she would hold it against me. He had me between a rock and a hard place, and he knew it.
“For a little while,” I replied.
Kayla pulled her father into the house, upstairs, and down the hall to show him her room. I went into the kitchen to fix us some dinner. I thought Malik and Mya would warm up to their father, but neither paid the other any attention. He spent time playing in the bedroom with Kayla.
The phone rang scaring the hell out of me. “Hello.”
“Hey, Leah, did I catch you at a bad time?”
“Craig, we are about to have dinner. Can we possibly talk tomorrow, it’s been a long day and I just ain’t thinking straight.”
“Oh, okay. I will see you tomorrow.” I hung up the phone feeling conflicted and angry. I could not wait to take me a hot bath and climb into bed.
I fixed their plates and called Kayla in to eat. She came down the stairs grinning from ear to ear. “Momma, can Daddy eat with us?”
“Daddy isn’t hungry, baby. Go sit down in the kitchen and eat before it gets cold,” I said, daring him with my eyes to contradict me.
“I’ll wait until you finish,” Kentee said as he took a seat on my sofa. I was fuming since I hadn’t asked his trifling ass to sit down. I waited until Kayla went in the kitchen before I turned my attention to Kentee.
“This is truly foul. How dare you show up here after all this time?”
“You have every right to be mad. I wanted to see you and the children, but I was afraid you would shoot me or something.”
“You aren’t worth the prison time, or the bullet!”
“Ouch, I deserved that,” he said.
“And then some. You left us with no food, money, or explanation. What did I ever do to you to make you treat us that way?” I asked angrily.
“I was confused. I needed to talk to you, and you never had time for me.”
“I didn’t have time for you? How dare you!”
I went over and slapped him as hard as I could. The force of the blow shocked us both, and I was instantly sorry. Grabbing his jaw, he opened his mouth to speak, but all that escaped was a moan. Without warning, he started to cry uncontrollably.
“I’ve made a mess out of my life. You’re right. My children don’t even know me, and I messed over the best relationship I’ve ever had!”
I was stunned at his tears, and my heart went out to him. I fought to keep from folding him into my arms and telling him it would be okay.
“Kentee, I needed someone, too! Most days I felt like I was going crazy, and you didn’t even notice. When you were gone, I had to contend with three kids, two in diapers, and Mya screaming for hours on end. I prayed that you’d come home and help me, but all you did was come in the house and start bitching!” I said, remembering all the pain he had inflicted on us.
“I’m so sorry. I was so used to having you to myself, and I didn’t see anything past my needs but, while I was in jail, I realized that I was being selfish and unfair. I tried to reach you, but you had the number changed and you moved,” he moaned.
“Well, the last time we spoke you weren’t exactly nice,” I said. “All those nasty calls you’ve made since your niece’s party. Yet, you were telling everyone else we were getting back together.”
“I was afraid,” he admitted. I sank down next to him on the sofa, drained of energy. It had been a hell of a day. We sat in an uncomfortable silence.
“Can I start spending time with my children? I don’t want them to grow up hating me,” he said.
“I won’t deny you access to the children, but I do have rules. You’re not to take my children around any other woman. And I don’t want you dumping them off on your mother. If you want to spend time with them, then you’ll be responsible for them. Can you do that?”
“I’ll do whatever I have to do to make this right,” he said.
“So, what is your other wife going to say about this?” Kentee opened his mouth but closed it again without saying anything.
“What’s the matter, cat got your tongue?”
“Leah, what do you want me to say, I fucked up. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry can’t make this right. You married another woman damnit and you’re still married to me.”
“That marriage ain’t legal and you know it.”
“But does Tarcia know it?”
“Uh…no, I told her we were divorced.” Frustrated I let out a heavy sigh.
“Why Kentee. I’m so pissed at you I could slap the taste out of your mouth.”
“I’m going to fix this. I’m getting it annulled.”
“I don’t have any faith left in you, but I’m
willing to give you a chance for the kids sake, not for yours. If you mess up, just once, we’re through with you. You won’t ruin their lives like you did mine,” I announced.
SAMMIE
I hadn’t heard from Althea in weeks, and it was beginning to bother me. After the dinner we had shared, we had briefly begun to talk at least twice a week, and I was beginning to understand my mother. I had finally realized she was not entirely to blame for her poor child-rearing skills. She only passed on to me what her own mother had taught her. We talked about everything, and she even reached out to Jasmine. From what I was hearing from Jazz, they were also communicating on a regular basis.
Once again, I picked up the phone and dialed Althea’s number, but she still didn’t answer. I decided to stop by her house on the way home to make sure everything was okay. Until then, I tried to concentrate on the work that had been piling up on my desk.
With the end of the year approaching, my boss had to settle out as many of the personal injury cases as he could. People were a trip. Just because they worked for Georgia Power, they assumed it was a cash cow and decided to sue them for everything from paper cuts to injuries on the job. It didn’t bother me since it kept me busy and didn’t allow me much time to take personal “dicktation.” Ever since that episode, I had made it clear that it was not going to happen again. I was still smarting from the look he had given me when his wife called. I wasn’t ashamed of my behavior because it was a good screw, but I was beginning to want more than an occasional romp in the hay.
I had been spending some time with Buddy, and he was turning out to be a lot of fun. He treated me like a lady, and I was not used to it. We had been out several times, and the subject of sex hadn’t even come up. He would show up on my job with flowers and take me to lunch or pick me up in the evening for a quick dinner before he would go on the radio.
What I liked most about our relationship was the shout out he would give me each night before signing off. Staying up until twelve midnight was wearing on my sleeping habits, but I loved the sound of his voice as he said good night to me. While I still gave Greg a roll every now and then, I wasn’t on the prowl as much.
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