“You are my business,” he said. He picked up a fry then threw it back down. “You know what? You’ve messed up my appetite. I need to get up out of here.”
I couldn’t agree with him more. I placed my half-eaten food back on the tray and threw it all in the trash, but I kept my cup of ice. I hoped that by the time he dropped me off, it wouldn’t have melted all the way so I could at least enjoy that.
We rode home in silence. Although part of me was confused about why Allen was so upset, another part of me thought it was cute that he was jealous. When we made it to my house, I was actually kind of relieved to see my parents weren’t home. Allen just sat there looking out the front window while I gathered all my stuff. Somehow my gym bag got caught on the emergency brake, and as I yanked it free, half of my stuff fell on the floor of Allen’s car. I bent down to pick it up, but my hands were full between my cup of ice, my backpack, my purse and my gym bag.
“Aren’t you going to help me?” I finally asked in annoyance.
Allen took off his seat belt and looked at me like I had asked him to donate his last kidney, then he bent over and started grabbing my stuff and putting it back in the bag. We both reached for the final piece, which happened to be my sports bra, which I had practiced in that day.
“Is this what you had on?” Allen asked, holding it around one finger.
“Yeah,” I said, reaching for it.
He drew back so I couldn’t touch it while he examined it, then he started pulling stuff out of my bag, throwing it back on the floor of the car.
“What are you doing?” I yelled, picking the stuff back up.
He pulled out my biking shorts and looked at them like they were covered in mold.
“You had these on today, too?” he asked.
I nodded, wondering why he was suddenly fascinated with my practice clothes.
Finally he said, “Don’t wear it again.”
I looked at him like he had lost his mind. “What?” I said, sure I had heard him wrong.
“I said don’t wear it again. No wonder that guy was hitting on you. You were running around half-naked.”
I started laughing. “Why are you tripping? You’ve seen me in outfits like this plenty of times.”
He stared back at me, and I couldn’t read his expression. “You’re right, I’ve seen you in it. That doesn’t mean I want all my boys staring at you, and I definitely don’t want some ‘friend’ checking you out.” He spit out the word friend like it was a glob of spit.
I just shook my head. “Whatever, Allen.” I snatched my clothes from him and stuffed them back into my bag, then managed to grab everything and get to the front door. I had to set a lot of stuff down to get my key, and by the time I was opening the door, Allen was on the porch.
I didn’t even say anything as I walked in. When I turned around, Allen was standing in the doorway, looking like he had something to say.
“I’m sorry,” he finally said. He walked over to me and planted a kiss on my lips. “When my boys came over and told me you were talking to some other dude, I couldn’t take the thought of you leaving me.”
“I’m not going to leave you,” I said quietly. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, baby,” he said, holding me close. “I didn’t mean to sound so jealous. I just don’t want any other man looking at you. Promise me you won’t wear an outfit like that again.”
I thought of all the bike shorts and sports bras I had upstairs in my room to work out in and started to shake my head.
Allen noticed and quickly said, “It’s cool to wear it if I’m with you—that way I can protect you—but if not, I would prefer you wear something else.” He looked at me with pleading eyes.
I thought about what he was saying. If it made my man feel more comfortable for me not to show my body when he wasn’t around, what was the big deal? I finally nodded.
“Thank you,” he said, giving me a kiss. “You know I love you, right?”
“I know,” I said. I looked at the clock and realized my mother was supposed to be home any minute. “You’d better go,” I said.
“Can’t I stay for a few more minutes?” he asked.
I sighed. I was still a little mad at him, but I didn’t want him to go. “Okay,” I gave in.
He followed me into the kitchen, and I began fixing us a snack. While the pizza bites were in the microwave, I sat crunching on my ice, glad that it hadn’t all melted.
“What do you have planned for the weekend?” I asked after I had swallowed a mouthful. Now that basketball season was in full swing, Allen was practicing all the time. Sometimes Coach Patterson had the team at school as early as six in the morning, then at afternoon practice he’d keep them sometimes until ten or eleven o’clock at night. Recruiters were often in town trying to convince Allen to sign with their schools, even though he had already made it pretty clear he was going to go pro. I guess colleges were hoping he was going to change his mind.
He smiled. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I actually have Sunday afternoon free. Maybe we can go to a movie or something.”
I was just about to say yes when I remembered my promise to Nathaniel. “Can we get together later that day?”
“I guess,” he said. “What’s so important that you can’t spend time with your man?”
“I told Nathaniel I would tutor him in math, and we’re getting together on Sunday,” I reminded him.
“Nathaniel? Is that that clown my boys saw you with?” he asked, like we hadn’t had the conversation earlier.
I nodded before I got up to pour Allen something to drink. “Yeah.”
“So you want to see him more than you do me?”
I started laughing. “Boy, you are so silly. Of course I want to see you more, but I promised Nathaniel I would help him. He wanted to get together during study hall, but I can’t do that because I’m helping you, and since he works most evenings, Sunday is the only time he has free.”
“Where are you meeting?”
I shrugged as I walked over to take the pizza bites out of the microwave. “I guess here.”
“Your parents are going to let you have another dude over here?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Nathaniel’s been over here plenty of times. I told you we’ve known each other since kindergarten. We’ve had to work on class projects, and I’ve tutored him before.”
Allen sat watching me get some napkins. “I don’t want him in your house,” he finally said.
I looked at him and sighed. “Baby, why are you tripping? He’s coming over to study—the same way you came over to study.”
“That’s exactly why I don’t want him over here. Studying was the only thing I could think of to get to know you better.”
I blushed, pleased that he liked me enough to make up excuses to spend time with me. “Nathaniel’s not like that,” I said. “Trust me. We’ve been friends for too long for anything to jump off between us.”
“They say friends make the best of lovers.” Allen looked at me suspiciously. “What’s really going on with you and this guy? You keep defending him like you like him or something.”
I shook my head. “It’s not like that at all,” I said, then hesitated. “I mean, I had a little crush on him in elementary school, but that was years ago.”
“So you do like him,” Allen accused.
“Not anymore. I was a kid then. You know I love you,” I insisted.
“Courtland, I don’t want that dude in your house, and that’s final,” Allen said.
I looked at him and rolled my eyes. “The last time I checked, Donna and Corwin Murphy paid the bills here, and if they don’t have a problem with Nathaniel coming over, then neither should you. You act like you don’t trust me or something.”
I had barely completed my sentence before Allen flew out of his chair and grabbed me around my upper arms. “Don’t be disrespecting me,” he yelled, shaking me. “Don’t you ever roll your eyes at me again.”
He was sq
ueezing my arms so hard that tears came to my eyes. “Allen, you’re hurting me,” I said.
It was like he didn’t hear me. “I don’t want another dude around my woman—period. Do you understand me?”
I nodded, figuring that would make him let go of me, but he squeezed tighter. “Courtland, I’m not playing with you. Let me come over here Sunday and find that dude at your house. I don’t want to have to hurt him.”
He looked like he was about to say something else, but just then we heard the front door open, and Cory walked in talking about something she had seen on TV. Allen let me go, and I fell against the refrigerator. He calmly sat down in his chair and began eating his pizza bites.
“Courtland,” Momma called out.
“In the kitchen,” I managed to say. I smoothed my hair and tried as calmly as I could to sit at the table and pretend nothing had just happened.
“Hey, you two,” Momma said when she walked in. She looked back and forth between us and smiled. “Isn’t that cute? It looks like you two were having an argument.”
I gave her a tight smile and picked up my cup of ice, wishing I could dump it on Allen’s head. I couldn’t believe he had put his hands on me again.
“How are you doing, Mrs. M.?” Allen asked, getting up to kiss Momma on the cheek.
“I’m fine,” she said. She looked at us again before she focused on me. “Is everything okay?”
I tugged at my shirt, wondering if my upper arms were bruised. Thank goodness they were covered by my shirt. Before I could speak, Allen jumped in.
“We’re fine. Like you said, we just had a little argument, but we’re cool now, right, Courtland?” Allen didn’t give me a chance to respond before he turned to Cory. “What’s up?”
“Hey,” Cory said. She had pulled out her PSP and was concentrating on the screen.
“Can I play with you?” Allen asked.
Cory looked at him for a second before looking back down at the screen. “Nah, that’s okay.” She turned and walked out of the room. I wanted to laugh because Allen had really gotten his face cracked. It was good for him to see that everyone didn’t worship the ground he walked on.
Allen got up and put his plate in the sink. “Thanks for the food, Courtland,” he said.
I just nodded.
“Well, I guess I’d better go,” he said.
I didn’t bother to say anything as I stared at my plate.
“Before you do, Allen,” Momma said, “I need to talk to you and Courtland.”
He looked surprised, but he sat down.
“I don’t know if Courtland told you, but she is not to have company when her father and I aren’t home.”
Allen nodded. “Yes, ma’am. I owe you an apology. Courtland told me that she’s not supposed to have company, but I really had to use the bathroom, so I talked her into letting me in. When I saw her making herself a snack, I convinced her to make me some, as well. I apologize. It won’t happen again.”
Momma smiled at him. “Well, I guess it’s okay just this once. You’re lucky it was me who came in and not Courtland’s father.”
Saturday night I was hanging out on bebo.com, a social networking Web site similar to myspace.com, when Nathaniel called. I had pretty much kept to myself all day other than going to the game so I could cheer. Allen had wanted to go out that evening, but I told him no. There was no way I was ever going out with him again after his little stunt the night before.
“I just wanted to make sure we were still on for tomorrow,” Nathaniel said.
I thought about what Allen had said about Nathaniel coming over, and I hesitated, trying to decide if it was worth taking the risk. Finally, I said, “Can we reschedule, or better yet, can you call Bree and ask her to help you? I realized I have a lot going on right now, and I don’t think I’ll be able to help you.”
“That’s cool,” Nathaniel said, but I could tell he was a little hurt.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I really want to help you…but like I said, I have a lot going on right now.” We sat holding the phone for a few seconds.
“Allen doesn’t want you to see me, huh?” he finally said.
“It’s nothing like that at all,” I said, talking a little too loud.
“Yeah, whatever,” Nathaniel said. “The Courtland I know wouldn’t allow some dude to come between her and her friends. I’ll see you around.”
Nathaniel hung up before I could respond. I sat there for a while thinking about what he had said about Allen coming between me and my friends. Bree and I weren’t really hanging anymore because I had been so busy, and after the games, I had started going out with Allen instead of hanging with the cheerleaders. Was I really allowing him to come between me and my friends? I shook my head, refusing to believe that was true.
I called Nathaniel back. “You know what?” I said as soon as he said hello. “I’m tripping. You can still come over tomorrow.”
“Nah, don’t worry about it,” he said. “I don’t want to get you in trouble with your man. I’ll just ask Bree to help me.”
“Nathaniel, it’s no big deal,” I said.
“Courtland, I told you not to worry about it. Thanks anyway,” he said and hung up.
I dialed Bree’s number.
“What’s up, stranger?” she yelled when she answered the phone. There was music blasting in the background.
I knew my number had come up on her caller ID, and I smiled. “Hey, girl,” I said, using my cheerleader voice so I sounded chipper. “Where are you?”
“Getting ready for Jonathan’s party,” she said.
I frowned. “Who’s Jonathan?” I asked, realizing it really had been awhile since I talked to my friend.
“You didn’t get my message or e-mails?” she said. “I’ve sent you dozens of e-mails about Jonathan. I met him at the mall a few weeks ago. He’s having a party tonight, and I called to see if you wanted to go with me. That’s why I thought you were calling me back.”
Hanging out with my best friend sounded like a good idea.
“I’ll ask my momma and call you back,” I said.
Momma asked me a million questions about the party, but since I didn’t know Jonathan, I had to make up a few answers. She wanted me to get his phone number from Bree so she could call his parents, but I managed to talk her out of it. Instead, she made me get his address and told me she or Daddy would be there at ten sharp to pick me up.
I started to say something—most parties don’t really get started until ten—but I didn’t want her to change her mind. Instead, I asked if I could spend the night at Bree’s. At least that way I would be able to stay out until midnight, which was Bree’s curfew. Of course Momma said no.
I picked out some loose-fitting gray pants, a pink blouse and some heels, then took a shower and got dressed. While I waited for Bree, I checked my e-mails, which I realized I hadn’t done in a while, and part of me wondered if it was so I could avoid hearing from Allen. He didn’t know about my bebo.com account, so I had been going directly to it and messaging people from there. Sure enough, there were a few e-mails in my AOL account from Bree, as well as a few other people I hadn’t heard from in a while. I started at the bottom so I could read the oldest e-mails first. It was so weird finding out about my best friend dating a guy through e-mail, especially when we went to school and had a couple of classes together. I had started eating lunch with Allen, and I realized that’s normally when Bree and I caught up.
The more I thought about it, I did remember her mentioning the name Jonathan a few times while we were rehearsing her dance routines.
I couldn’t believe I had been so caught up in Allen that I had neglected my best friend. I vowed that was all going to change. Before I could lose my nerve, I flipped open my phone and sent Allen a text telling him I never wanted to see him again.
Bree picked me up around seven-thirty. She was looking cute in a short black skirt, a black and white top and some black high-heeled boots.
She told me all abou
t Jonathan as we drove to his house in Ensley, and I told her about breaking up with Allen.
Bree got this strange expression.
“What?” I said, turning to face her as best I could with my seat belt on.
“Don’t be surprised if Allen’s here tonight,” she said.
“What?” I yelled.
“He and Jonathan are friends,” she said. “They’ve attended some of the same basketball camps.”
“I’ll just have to ignore him,” I said, but I was suddenly nervous.
The party was dead when we walked in. There were only a few other people there—probably kids whose mothers had given them a curfew like me. The music was good. Bree and I sat dancing in our seats for about an hour before kids started pouring in. It was like one minute the dim basement was empty and the next it was packed with people backing that thang up, moving to the music and working up a sweat.
Jonathan came to get Bree, and they hit the dance floor. I took a quick peek around the room, looking for Allen, but I didn’t see him. Before I could feel awkward about sitting alone, a guy asked me to dance. We ended up right next to Bree and Jonathan, and we danced through five songs before Bree called it quits. She knew she couldn’t dance, so she just kind of moved from side to side, which would have been fine if Jonathan wasn’t such an incredible dancer.
I was thinking about taking a break when a slow song came on. I tried to walk away, but my partner, whose name was either Luke or Duke—I couldn’t tell ’cause he shouted it over the music as we danced—grabbed me and pulled me close. I caught Bree’s eye, and she nodded her approval, so I decided to get through one more dance.
The song was almost over when I felt eyes on me. I searched the crowded room until my gaze found Allen’s. He just stared at me as he sipped from a red plastic cup, and I looked at him for only a second before I turned my attention to my partner, who really did seem like a nice guy. I kept staring at Allen out of the corner of my eye, wondering if we’d get a chance to talk.
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