by Lea Hart
“How is Sara doing?” Joel asked quietly.
“Not great. She watches TV a lot. When I say a lot, I mean she’s started to talk about the New Jersey housewives like she knows them. When I get home, she gives me a full report about what happened. Like they’re friends.”
“Have you suggested she speak with someone?” Dane asked.
“I’ve hinted around, and she ignores me. We’ve been home for two weeks and she hardly ever leaves the house. At least she’s moved out of the bedroom and onto the couch.”
“What about Gladys and Agnes? They don’t seem like shrinking violets. I can’t imagine them allowing Sara not to deal with it.”
“They come over every day and they try, but Sara is as stubborn as a mule, and she’s dedicated to planting her body on the couch. It’s time to deal with the trauma that she’s experienced.”
Joel pulled out a piece of paper and wrote down a name and number. “This is the doctor Viv met with. She had a good experience with her, and this might be a good option for Sara. When I brought her to Florida, she wasn’t in great shape, and working with the doctor helped.”
Grady took the paper and glanced at it. “Where did you get the recommendation?”
“Ronnie’s best friend, Ana, gave us the name.”
He folded the paper and shoved it in his pocket. “I’m going to talk to Sara tonight. The longer we don’t deal with it, the harder it’s going to be.”
Dane checked his tablet and then glanced up. “I just got a reminder that we have a bachelor party tonight for Trevor.”
“Shit, I almost forgot,” Grady said. “I’ll probably just go for dinner and then head home.”
“It’s not going to be crazy. Trevor said he wanted to have dinner and play poker and that was it.”
“He had plenty of wild years, so he probably doesn’t need one last one.” Joel smirked.
Dane slid a look over at Grady. “You need anything, you let me know.”
“Always, brother.”
***
The doorbell echoed through the house, and Sara moaned. Lifting herself off the couch, she shuffled to the door and checked the monitor. “We don’t want any. Go away,” she called out loudly. She knew there was a very small chance that Richard would follow directions.
“Open the door, Sara.”
“No. I’m watching something on TV.”
“I brought food.”
Grumbling to herself, she disengaged the alarm system and opened the door. “I hope you brought something good.”
Looking up, she noticed he look slightly horrified. “I’ve taken a shower today, and I’m wearing clean clothes. My hair does this unless I take time to get it under control.” She stepped aside and let him in. “If it’s too much for you, leave the food, and I’ll tell whoever sent you that you tried.”
“Grady said that you’ve been hanging out at home, but I had no idea it was this bad.”
Lifting her hand, she slugged him in the arm. “Jeez, that hurt.”
He patted her head and moved into the kitchen. “I brought subs from the deli.”
“The one I like?” she asked, as she moved passed him and pulled out plates.
“Of course. Do you think that I would attempt an intervention with bad sandwiches?”
“No.” She pulled out two glasses and filled them with tea. “Why do I need an intervention?”
“Because you’ve watched five seasons of The Real Housewives of New Jersey and three from Atlanta. I think that pretty much points to an impending mental breakdown. I’m here to stop it.”
“I’m not having a breakdown. I have the beginning stages of PTSD. I’ve experienced too much trauma without dealing with it.”
“Okay. You just cut my speech in half.”
Patting his arm, she laughed. “I figure I’m owed at least two more weeks on the couch before I have to drag my butt into therapy. I have a couple more seasons to catch up on before that happens.”
He picked up their plates and the bag of sandwiches and walked over to the couch. “As long as you have a plan.”
Sara brought the glasses of tea and set them down. “I have everything I need.” Sweeping her arms over her pile, she grinned. “I have my iPad, phone, sketch pad, and magazines. What more could I want?”
“Fresh air and human interaction.”
“I swim every night after dinner, and I visit with Gladys and Agnes every day.”
“What about coming down to the gym and working out?” He placed a sandwich on her plate and handed it over.
“That will be in the second stage of recovery.”
“When does that happen?”
“Not for a long time. I need to become mentally strong before I can work on my physical strength.”
Laughing, Richard shook his head. “I’ll pick you up or Grady can bring you in, but we start tomorrow. You need to work the bags. Remember, you’ve faced a lot of tough shit over the last year. You can handle a lot more.”
“I don’t want to.” Carefully she unwrapped her sandwich and took a bite. Maybe Richard would do the same, and then he could quit lecturing her. “It would cut into my TV therapy.”
“I will come and haul your skinny ass down there. Don’t test me,” Richard replied. He took a big bite of sandwich and then grinned as he chewed.
“I have a big, bad SEAL boyfriend. I don’t have to do anything.”
Wiping his mouth carefully, he shook his head. “Sara, I know you love Grady, and underneath all of your pain and sadness, you know he deserves the best version of you.” He patted her leg. “Honey, this is not the best version of you.”
Tears started to leak out, and her shoulders slumped. “I know,” she whispered. “But if I start to think about my parents and the mafia and crazy Ang, then I can’t breathe.”
He bent down and stared into her eyes. “I know.”
“How?”
“I’ve dealt with my own share of PTSD, so I recognize the signs. The only way around it…is through it. That’s how you get to the other side.”
More tears slipped down her face, and she swiped them away. “I was just hoping to put it off for a while longer.”
“Sorry, more time doesn’t make it easier.” He straightened up and started eating his sandwich. “I’ll watch one episode with you, and then you come work out tomorrow.”
“Make that two and you have a deal.”
“Is this going to make my brain bleed?”
“Probably,” Sara replied happily. “We are on the fourth season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta.”
“Oh, great,” Richard replied. “Two episodes is two hours in the gym.”
“Two episodes is one hour and thirty minutes.” She patted his leg and grinned. “I’ll bring my iPad to the gym, and we can watch it before every workout.”
“And they said being a Ranger was hard.” Richard laughed, and Sara gave him a smile. “Don’t tell anyone about this.”
Sara mimed zipping her mouth shut and then turned on the TV. It was time to move forward, whether she was ready or not.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Saturday
The morning sun heated up the room, and Grady lifted the blanket off and stretched. The sound of lawnmowers could be heard in the distance, and he knew it had to be close to eight. When he’d gotten back from Trevor’s bachelor party last night, Sara had been asleep, so he didn’t know how Richard’s conversation with her had gone. When he asked Richard to talk to Sara, he hoped that he would somehow get through in a way that he couldn’t.
The sheets rustled, and he glanced over and saw her open one eye. When he waved, she groaned and then rolled over. “Still sleeping,” she whispered.
He fitted himself along her back and held her tightly. “When I hold you, I know what it feels like to have everything I’ve ever wanted.”
“Are you sure you want me?”
He lifted himself up and looked over her shoulder. “Honey, you’re not a choice. You are inevitable.”
“Inevitable in a good way or in an ‘I can’t escape’ way?”
“Inevitable in the way that makes me the luckiest son of a bitch in the world.”
“You say the nicest things.”
When she moved deeper into his embrace, he knew she felt how much he wanted her. Desire and longing rumbled down his spine, and he rocked himself into soft curves. “I want to say good morning in a way that will leave you smiling for the rest of the day.” He lifted her leg on top of his and let his hand drift to her wet heat. “God, honey. You’re so wet.” Skimming his finger through her folds made her groan. “Am I on the right track?”
“Oh, sweet mercy…yes,” she whispered.
“No mercy today.” And that’s when he put some real effort into starting their day off right. He fitted himself against her heat and slowly slid himself home. “We fit perfectly together,” he hissed as he showed her how much he loved her.
***
“I feel shattered,” Sara mumbled.
Heart galloping, he tried to pull some air into his lungs. “Did it right, then.”
“I told Richard I would go in today, and don’t think I’m going to make it.”
The moment she started to move away, he tightened his hold. He was still buried inside her warm heat, and he didn’t see any reason to leave. He moved his lips along her neck and kissed her right behind her ear. It was a spot that, if kissed correctly, made her sigh. Two seconds passed, and then he heard her sigh gently. She settled back into his embrace. Perfect.
“Do you think it’s over?” Sara asked quietly against his arm. “I’ve lived in a state of fear for so long that I’m not sure how to let it go. I think that’s why I’ve spent the last two weeks on the couch.”
Moving his hand along her warm skin, he propped his chin on her shoulder. “I think it’s time to talk to a professional and get the tools you need to build a new life. Find your new normal.”
“I thought that when the threat ended, I would magically go back to the person I was before all of this happened. Unfortunately, I think that person is gone, and I have to figure out the new me.”
“Joel gave me the number of someone Vivi worked with last year. He said that the doctor helped her tremendously, and I think we should give her a call.”
“It’s time. I know I can’t park myself on the couch for too much longer.”
“The couch isn’t the problem, but not facing the pain is.” He felt her wiggle, and he loosened his grip. When she rolled over and faced him, his heart smacked against his chest. Her big green eyes gazed at him with more love than he’d thought possible. “I love you, Sara. I promise to give you a place to lay your head so that you can feel how hard my heart beats for you.”
Pressing both of her hands against his chest, she then smiled. “I love you too.”
“I think we have a good foundation for a new normal.”
“Me, too. I don’t want to be stuck in the past and not be able to put a foot forward into the future.”
“The fact that you see it and are willing to do something about it means that you are already halfway there.” He kissed her shoulder and nodded. “We’re going to be amazing together.”
“I love you, Grady.”
“Love you more, Sara.”
***
Grady stood at the edge of the mat and watched Sara work the bags with Richard. Apparently she had sucked him into watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta, and now he was discussing it with her as she beat the shit out of the heavy bag. Before long she was going to corrupt the whole group and get them hooked on reality television. Nick approached and tipped his head in acknowledgment. “You cut out early last night,” Grady said. “Are you getting too old for bachelor parties?”
“After I lost a hundred dollars playing poker, I figured it was time to leave,” Nick said. “I made it home before my wife fell asleep…which worked out for me.”
Laughing, Grady shook his head. “How long have you and Marcy been married?”
“We’re going on ten years, and it was the best decision I ever made. Going to a bachelor party always reminds me how lucky I am.”
“Trevor and Katie make a great couple. We went surfing with them a couple of times and had a blast.”
“I think it’s because they have the same sense of humor. Everyone else wonders what’s so funny, and the two of them are laughing their heads off,” Nick replied. “Do you think the trip to Chicago worked and Sara’s safe?”
“I think our visit to Chicago went as well as it could. It was an old-fashioned pissing contest. They showed us theirs and we showed them ours. The last thing they want is media attention, and Sara is capable of bringing a lot of it to their doorstep.”
“Why would they give up now?” Nick asked. “They’ve had her on the hot list for close to a year.”
“Because they have bigger problems knocking on their door. The Eastern Europeans are trying to move into their territory, and they have a hell of a fight in front of them. They would do harm to themselves without much gain if they came after her, and it would give me an excuse to wipe them out. Doesn’t seem they have much interest in going to war with me and the team.”
“Makes sense. Do they still run an old-school operation?”
“Yeah, the Outfit is neighborhood-focused. They’re not like some of the other groups that have a global approach to business. I get the idea that they run their enterprise the same way they did fifty years ago.” Grady watched Sara finish up on the bags and take a towel from Richard. “Time to spar.”
Nick laughed and then slapped him on the back. “I’m relieved to see that she decided to come back.”
“Yeah, I agree. What she does here is important for her emotional strength as much as her physical strength. I think she’s ready to get off the couch and start building a new life. I just hope she’s willing to build it with me.”
“Have you asked her?”
“Not yet.”
Sara joined them and grinned. “Not yet…what?”
“Nothing. We were talking about a work thing,” Grady said as he kissed her head. “Are you ready to spar a little?”
“Do I have to? Since the mafia has given me a reprieve, can’t I give up on the sparring?”
Nick crossed his arms. “Don’t give up on it. You’ve come a long way.”
“Fine.” Twirling her arms around, she stomped over to the mat. “Come on, then. Let’s get this over with.”
Nick spoke quietly. “Good luck.” Then he walked out of the gym, whistling.
Grady approached slowly. “Do you want to throw me?”
“No.” She moved directly in front of him and locked gazes with him. “I’m half your size, and we both know when it comes down to it, I can’t even defend myself against someone who is my size.”
“You saved your own life. There was no way to win a confrontation with a woman who had a gun pointed at you and was on the verge of a psychotic break.”
“It doesn’t feel like it. It feels like all the time I spent working out in here was for nothing.”
Taking her hand, he led her over to the wall and sat down. “Come here.” He tugged her down until she was sitting in his lap, face-to-face with him. “Better.”
They were staring into one another’s eyes, and Grady smiled. “Do you know that I fell for you when we sparred that first time?”
“You did not.” She laughed.
“Yes, I did. I admired the hell out of your spirit and determination. I knew that underneath the beautiful exterior was a woman worth getting to know. You’re the perfect combination of strength, guts, and kindness.”
“Oh, Grady. I don’t think that I’m any of those things. I’m just a big scaredy cat. The whole gutsy thing is just an act.”
“I’ve seen you survive being abducted and face the mob. So maybe the scaredy cat thing is the act and the gutsy part is the real thing.”
“How come I always like your version of events a lot better than mine?”
>
“Because I have a much clearer view and can be relied on for an accurate account.”
“I think there was an insult buried in there, but I’m going to ignore it.”
“I love you, Sara, and I will always see the best in you.”
Lifting her hands, she held his face and kissed him. Before the kiss could go too far, they were interrupted by loud whistles.
“What is with you two and this room? You’re always smooching whenever you’re in here,” Richard called out loudly as he walked in.
Grady glanced over Sara’s shoulder and flipped him off. “I kiss Sara all the time, no matter where we are.”
Lifting herself off, she stepped away. “It’s true.” She pulled down her T-shirt and turned toward the door. “No sparring today. I’m going to shower, and then we can go to lunch.”
Grady and Nick watched her saunter down the hall. “At least she got off the couch,” Richard said.
“Thanks, man. I appreciate you talking to her. Whatever you said made a difference.”
“No problem. Sara is like a sister to me, so I gave her some tough love and it worked out.”
“Does that tough love include you watching The Real Housewives?”
“I’ll do whatever it takes, brother.” Laughing, Richard turned and walked out.
Grady moved toward the showers and mentally reviewed the plan for the evening. Everything had to be perfect, and he hoped like hell he didn’t forget any details.
***
Grady walked into the bedroom and saw Sara struggle with the zipper on her dress. Stepping over, he slid her hands away. “Why didn’t you call me to help?”
“Because I wanted to come out and surprise you.”
He lifted her hair gently over her shoulder, kissed her neck, and then zipped her up. “You are beautiful.”
Turning around slowly, she held his arms. “Thank you for showing me how much you care. I feel lucky.”
“Honey, I’m the lucky one.” Bending down, he placed a small kiss on her mouth. “I’ll wait for you in the living room.”
“Where are you taking me?”
“A restaurant called Casa Tua. It’s in South Beach. One of the guys recommended it.”