Exposed
Page 1
Exposed
(Virus, Part II)
By RJ Crayton
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
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Chapter 1
Elijah sat on the cold, hard floor, his eyes fixed on Boxcar Willie on the other side of the dimly lit cargo train. Boxcar Willie was such a stupid name. At one time it had been the stage name of a performer who sang about riding the rails. It had come to be the generic name of anyone who rode the rails to get around. Only, there was nothing generic or song-inspiring about this man.
This Boxcar Willie was a savage who wanted Lijah’s little sister. The old pervert appeared to be sleeping, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm as he lay under a grimy blanket. Lijah didn’t trust him. Not enough to close his eyes and leave her unprotected.
He glanced at Elaan for a second. His eyes instinctively returned to the man who’d demanded his sister be his “nighttime companion” for the duration of the ride. They’d nixed that. Only, Willie didn’t seem the type to give up easily. But neither did Lijah, and he wouldn’t let that man hurt Elaan. His brief glance had shown she was safely asleep, curled up in a ball. She had to be cold. He was shivering himself; the car was freezing. Lijah didn’t have a thermometer, but if he had to guess, it was probably somewhere in the fifty degree range. Not freezing, but by no means warm. He glanced at her again. She looked so cold over there.
A wave of guilt washed over him. It was his fault she’d moved away from Josh. They’d be warmer together, but she’d caught a glimpse of Lijah just as she was snuggling up to Josh, and she’d seen it. She’d seen his jealousy, and she’d moved.
God, he was a horrible brother. He’d been telling himself his feelings for Josh had nothing to do with his opposition to the two of them being together, but that had been a lie. He’d been lying to himself so he wouldn’t feel bad about keeping them apart. He’d lied to her earlier, when she asked about his feelings. He’d done a reverse guilt trip, turned the tables. “You think that if I had a crush on a guy that my baby sister liked, that I would tell her not to get involved, just so I could feel better?” he’d asked her. “That I would hurt my baby sister’s heart just so mine wouldn’t?”
And she’d felt the appropriate guilt and backed off. Only it was a lie. He’d done exactly what she’d accused him, and he was a horrible human being for doing so. He was stupid, too, because crushing on a guy who wasn’t even gay was an idiotic move.
If they hadn’t been locked in quarantine together, he was sure he wouldn’t have developed feelings for Josh. But being quarantined together — both of them so alone, so afraid, so unique in their dilemma — had forged a bond between them he hadn’t expected. They had been so close, had talked so much. And he got a slight vibe from Josh, or at least he thought he had. Only, the circumstances had clouded his judgment, had turned wishful thinking into his reality. And when he realized that Josh wasn’t like him, that Josh was into Elaan, he should’ve let it go. He didn’t. He decided he couldn’t bear to see them together, and he concocted a bunch of reasons it was a bad idea. Reasons that made sense to Josh, and almost made sense to him, but deep down, he’d known the truth.
He’d done the first decent thing for the two of them a few hours ago. He closed his eyes for a second and thought back to his conversation with Josh near the river. They’d left Elaan alone in the jeep and gotten far enough to have some privacy, when Josh let loose on him.
“What the hell is this about?” he’d spat, breathing heavily with anger.
They’d been so contentious recently. It hurt that Josh had started to view him with dread, and by then, with contempt. “I wanted to apologize,” Lijah said.
Josh took a step back, and stared. “Apologize?”
Lijah nodded, focused on the ground. “I haven’t been fair to you and Elaan. Down there, it was different. Down there, it was about keeping our secret and keeping her away from that. About not letting her know just how damaged we’d gotten, how damaged we could be up here, and maybe I was misguided in that, but I just wanted to protect her. She’s my little sister.”
Josh came closer and put his hand on his shoulder. The feeling of it was like a spark of pleasure shooting through him, yet there was that aftershock of pain. Because Josh just wanted to be his friend. Josh spoke when Lijah finally met his gaze again.
“I know you want to protect her,” Josh said. “So do I.”
“I know,” Lijah said, sliding away from Josh’s touch. “That’s why I wanted to talk to you now. I want to ask you to stay with Elaan, to protect her, if anything happens to me.”
Josh didn’t speak, just stared at Lijah. The breeze chilled them, but neither moved to shield themselves against the wind or work up a shiver for warmth. Finally, Josh nodded. “OK.”
“Promise,” Lijah said. “Promise me you’ll do everything to protect her, to keep her safe, to get her safely to our mother.”
Josh said clearly, “I promise. I’ll do everything in my power to protect her and to get her to your mother.”
Lijah inhaled, his spirits lifting. At least he was doing one thing right. Finally. “If there’s a chance the three of us might get caught, know that I’ll sacrifice myself. You just take Elaan and get her somewhere safe.”
Josh shook his head. “Man, that’s crazy. We’re not in some war movie. There’s no reason you’ll need to leave us. We won’t need to split up. You won’t need to make some grand sacrifice.”
Lijah laughed. Grand sacrifice. It wasn’t a grand sacrifice. If he came in contact with the sick, he’d be just as deadly as Mark Dayton had been. There was no way he’d allow himself to cause anyone the pain of that disease. He’d die before he ever did that to someone. “Fine,” he said. “It’s not a movie where I make some grand sacrifice.” He stood there, swallowed, his body giving an involuntary shiver against the night cold before continuing. “All I can say is that Elaan is one good thing about this world. She’s immune and she needs to live. Her DNA needs to keep going. Me, I’m damaged. I’m one contact from being turned into a plague that could kill thousands more people, so if it comes down to her surviving or me, I know where my place is. I know exactly what I’m going to do.”
Josh shook his head. “She wouldn’t want that.”
“I know,” he said. “That’s why I’m telling you. Because I want you to explain it to her if it happens.”
“But it won’t happen,” Josh said.
“Good, then,” Lijah said, not wanting to fight. “It won’t happen, but if it does, you’ll explain it to her and
protect her. You know what they’ll do to her if they catch her. Dad didn’t tell her everything, but you know, don’t you?”
Josh breathed out and put his hand on Lijah’s shoulder again. “My dad told me. The cloning wasn’t the end. They want breeders. They’d harvest a fair number of eggs, but they want the immunes to bring the children to term. They think that’s the best chance of preserving humanity. More immunes. My dad told me they wanted me, but for obvious reasons, he couldn’t agree.” Josh laughed darkly as Elijah tried to gauge what he was thinking. “Part of me thinks he would’ve liked for me to be immune, would’ve liked me to participate, would’ve liked his family’s DNA shaping all of society, shaping the future of our nation and the world.”
Lijah reached up and patted Josh’s hand resting on his shoulder. He savored the touch silently before stepping away. He had to stop this infatuation, he told himself. It wasn’t healthy. “We’ve all got problems. My mother left and your father, he’s helpful, but has issues, too.”
Josh raised his eyebrows. “Issues are fine,” he said. “I’ve learned, through all of this, that people are who they are. You have to take the good with the bad, because the person isn’t who they are without both pieces. My dad has plenty of traits I don’t like, but he has a ton of instincts I respect. His desire to protect me isn’t that different from your desire to protect Elaan.”
Lijah nodded. Good with the bad. Yeah, he wished he’d discovered Josh’s Zen-like state. He couldn’t accept the bad that came with his mother or with himself or any other carriers. He couldn’t say that out loud, though. Not to Josh. He was like Elaan that way, hopeful. About humanity, about people, about the future. “We should go back or she’ll get worried,” Lijah said, tipping his head in the direction of the jeep.
Lijah opened his eyes, the memory fading. Boxcar Willie was asleep in his spot. Lijah peeked at Elaan and Josh, both asleep. She shivered and rolled over. He’d been such a jerk. He needed to get himself together. He’d lied to her, but she’d seen right through his lies. She’d seen his hurt and decided not to add to it. Now she was freezing.
He stood and went over to her. She was slumped in a heap facing the opposite direction as Josh, who was snoring. Lijah kneeled and gently tried to reposition her so she was closer to Josh where she’d be warmer. He needed to make sure she was alright. As he nudged her, she stirred. “Shhh,” he said softly. “Go back to sleep.” When she was younger, she used to want to stay up late to watch movies, but she always fell asleep — and early. Their parents wouldn’t fight her, just let her fall asleep on the sofa. Then their father would carry her to bed, and when she’d half wake up, he’d say, “Shhh, go back to sleep.” And then she’d be out like a light. Just like that.
“Shhhhh,” he said again softly as she turned away from Josh. But she didn’t just roll over. She startled awake, opening her eyes and scanning the room, as if confused about her whereabouts. Her breathing quickened, she tensed, and tried to back away, only to smack into the wall behind her.
“Hey,” he said softly, watching as she tried to get her bearings. “It’s alright, it’s me.” He turned behind him to make sure that Elaan wasn’t frightened of something behind him, like Willie. Nope. Willie was still in the opposite corner, apparently asleep. Lijah turned back to his sister, who had oriented herself to the surroundings. Her breathing was normal.
“I didn’t mean to wake you,” he said. “I just thought I could slide you over a bit, the way Mom and Dad did when you were smaller.”
She raised an eyebrow, and he was sure she thought he was crazy. Perhaps that was crazy. She wasn’t a kid anymore, and moving her had been to allay his guilt as much as it had been to try to help.
“Why were you moving me?”
He avoided her gaze, instead eyeing Josh, who was huddled a little ways over, his mouth humming with a soft snore. Lijah sighed and sat next to his sister, so she was flanked by him and Josh. “You were shivering,” he said, pressing his back against the wall of the boxcar. “I thought you’d be warmer if you were lying next to…” He paused before answering, peering directly across the room at Willie, wondering if the man were really asleep. It was better to be safe than sorry. He tipped his head toward Josh and said, “You’d be warmer next to Ethan.”
She did a quick double take, but then her sleep-disrupted brain seemed to remember their fake names. “I’m fine.”
“No you’re not,” he said. “That’s my fault, and I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
Lijah chuckled. “It is.” He pulled his knees up to his chest. “Today, or I guess it was really yesterday, you asked if I had another reason for being upset about you and, um, Ethan. I said no. But that wasn’t true.” He turned and her eyes were kind and understanding. Shame reared in his gut. “What you thought was my motive was true. I didn’t realize I was doing it for that reason until you said it, and I hadn’t meant to be unfair to you two. So, I’m sorry. He’s a good guy, and I’m fine with you two being together.”
Elaan nodded, but she didn’t quite seem to believe him.
“I saw you lean toward him tonight, but then you saw me and stopped. You seemed to think I was mad, and then you laid down in the opposite direction,” he said. “I wasn’t mad. I felt bad that I’d mistreated you two. You shouldn’t be cold when lying closer to him will keep you warm. I really, truly don’t want that for you.”
She rested her head on his shoulder. “I’m fine, and I’m not going to make things hard for you if I can help it.”
“It’s not hard for me,” he shot back, with more force than was necessary.
“I know that certain things are personal, but this isn’t something you had to hide from us,” she said. “We understand. We love you. It doesn’t matter to us one way or the other.”
He tried not to sigh, refrained from shaking his head. “I know it doesn’t matter to you,” he finally said.
She didn’t say anything for a while, the rattling train and Josh’s soft snores the only noises. Finally, she turned to him, a crease in the center of her forehead, and said determinedly, “It doesn’t matter to Mom and Dad, either.”
He looked at his hands. His nails were dirty. He wondered when they’d gotten that grimy. Perhaps walking through the trees or pushing the jeep into the river. “You think it doesn’t matter to them because nothing you did wrong ever mattered to them,” Lijah said. “You have always made mistakes and been different, and they have always been OK with that. When you did something different or not quite right, Mom and Dad expected it. They were OK with you. They expected the unexpected. But with me, I fit in. I did exactly what they wanted me to do. And on that rare occasion that I did something they didn’t expect or didn’t approve of, the disappointment in their eyes was so deep. It was as if I’d cut into their souls with a poisoned dagger. They never saw you that way. They decided that you were going to be different. I was supposed to be dependable and what they wanted.”
Elaan touched his arm. “You are exactly what they want,” she said.
He smiled. Sometimes she reminded him of their mother. But in a good way. The good memories of Shonda Woodson, when she was kind and compassionate. Elaan was like their mother. Just without the expectations. Elaan had never heard the conversations he’d had with his mother where she expressed her disapproval. Shonda loved him, but she had so many expectations, ones he always strived to fulfill. He wasn’t perfect. Not the way his mother had wanted him to be. She’d never expected Elaan to be perfect. He hated the double standard. Elaan’s freedom from expectation had caused her to accept people as they were, the way she accepted him right now. “Thanks,” he said. “But I’d rather not talk about this right now.” He tipped his head toward Josh, who was still asleep. “Please don’t tell him. I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable.”
“Of course,” she said. “There’s nothing for me to tell.” Elaan hunched her shoulders and tilted her head from side to side to stretch out. The cold steel floor of a b
oxcar didn’t make the most comfortable bed.
“You should go back to sleep. You need your rest. I’ll keep watch.”
She shrugged. “I’m kind of awake now, and I think it will be hard to go back to sleep.”
Of course, he thought. Elaan. Expect the unexpected. He’d come over to help make her comfortable, and instead, he’d awakened her.
“Hey,” she said, as if she’d just had an epiphany. “What did Dad’s letter say?”
The letter. He’d forgotten about it. Everything had happened so fast that he hadn’t even looked. “I haven’t read it,” he said. He crawled over to where he’d been sitting earlier, grabbed the backpack, and then slid back to Elaan. He pulled the letter from the backpack and stared at the envelope.
He wasn’t actually sure he wanted to read it. The map had been helpful, but the letter was long. Several handwritten pages. He hadn’t been able to see it well in the dark, but he’d read the opening line, “If you’re reading this, it means I’m dead.” Only, his father had given it to him, now. He was apprehensive to see it again. Afraid to know what his father thought was so important for him to know in the event that he died.
“You gonna open it?” Elaan asked.
He nodded, and pulled the letter out of the envelope.
Chapter 2
Elaan watched as Lijah opened the letter, wondering what it said. The light from across the room was fairly diffuse, so it wasn’t the best for reading. Lijah held the letter close to his face, his eyes moving side to side as he took in their father’s words.
She turned away, wanting to give him privacy. Her own backpack was at her feet, and she wondered if her father had written a letter to her, too. She probably should’ve considered that earlier, but Lijah’s letter had contained a map, which made her think that it was instructions on getting to her mother. But Lijah’s letter had lots of pages. It wasn’t something her father had scrawled out in the moments between finding out they were in danger and heading up to the lab. It had to have been something he’d written earlier. So maybe he’d written one for her, too.