by Chloe Walsh
Blinking back my tears, I whispered, "Goodbye, Hunter," before rushing for the door.
"He won't make you happy, HC," he called out after me. "Not really. Not deep down inside where it counts.
Chapter Fifty-Nine
LUCKY
I watched her walk away from me.
I'd laid it all out there for her.
I'd poured my goddamn heart out.
And she still walked away.
Sinking down on the couch, I threw my head back and groaned.
What the fuck did I expect?
She was never going to leave him.
And I was always going to be the one that lost.
The sound of my phone ringing in my pocket drew me back to the present. I debated ignoring it, but then I thought twice about it. It could be her.
When I slid it out of my pocket and saw Kyle's name flash across the screen, I frowned.
"Kyle," I acknowledged, placing my phone to my ear. "What's up?"
"Is Hope with you?" he came straight out and asked.
"No," I lied, for her sake more than mine. I had no fucking problem laying my cards out there for the world to see, but she wouldn’t want that. "I haven't seen her."
A string of muttered curse words came down the line then.
"Why?" I asked, tone level. "What's going on?"
"He's out," Kyle choked out, voice torn.
My brows shot up. "Your father?"
"If that's what you want to call him," Kyle sneered. "Bastard was released first thing this morning."
Well, shit…
I'd been forewarned all about the piece of shit that was David Henderson back when I'd been asked to watch the boys last month.
"What do you need?" I asked without hesitation.
Kyle was a proud man. Making this call couldn’t have been easy for him. He needed something from me, and I wasn’t about to make him crawl for it. Regardless of the fact that I was in love with his daughter, I respected the hell out of him. He was Noah's brother. Noah was my family, and my loyalties extended to every member of his family.
"I have a cabin in Vale. I'm taking Lee away there until the dust settles and I can figure this shitbomb out," he announced. "Cash and Casey, too." He paused and then exhaled a heavy sigh. "Chances are I'm overreacting, and he won't bother with us. But I can't take the risk. Not with her."
I got it.
One hundred percent.
"What do you need from me?"
"My kids, Luck," he said gruffly. "I need to know they're safe." He paused again and exhaled another ragged breath. "It's not that I'm not worried about the triplets, but they've been around the block a time or two and I know they can handle themselves. But Hope? She's not like me or her brothers She's…vulnerable –"
I cut him off by saying, "I won't let anything happen to her."
"I know you won't," he replied after a long pause. "That's why I'm asking you."
Hope
I drove blindly for hours, trying to make sense of everything that had just happened, while trying and failing not to break down.
Tears flowed freely down my cheeks as I drove, and I gave in to the gut wrenching pain in my heart, allowing myself to cry hard and ugly.
I was sure anyone who pulled up alongside me when I was stopped at the red light would think I was a raving lunatic, but I didn’t care anymore.
"I love you more…"
"You think any of this is easy for me? I've been through this before, Hope, and I lost. Do you think it's easy for me? Putting myself out there again?"
"I'm here because you are worth it. I am fighting an unbeatable battle because I am so far deep in love with you that none of it matters. Nothing else matters to me. Just you."
My phone continued to ring loudly, but I didn’t dare answer it.
Even when my father's name appeared on the screen, I sent him straight to voicemail.
I couldn't talk to anyone right now.
My heart felt like it had cracked clean open and was now oozing poison into my other organs.
I felt utterly ruined.
When I walked through the front door of Jordan's house later that night, I was still reeling. Dropping my purse on the bottom step of the staircase, I trudged into the living room to where Jordan and Annabelle were sitting around the coffee table eating pizza.
Numb, I stood in the doorway watching them.
"Hey, Hope," Annabelle greeted brightly when she noticed me. "Are you hungry?"
I shook my head, still numb.
Jordan frowned at me in concern. "Are you okay?"
Again, I shook my head.
I wasn’t okay.
I didn’t think I would ever be okay again.
He stood up and walked over to me. "What's wrong?" I could see the concern in his green eyes as he stared down at me. "Hope?"
I don’t want to be here… The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t have the courage to voice them. I'm in love with another man.
Because I was.
I thought he was a passing attraction. A kiss that I would remember in the middle of the night. A heartwarming notion I would cling to as I grew older as Jordan's wife.
Little did I know, he was going to pull the rug from beneath me and turn my world upside down.
I was in love with Hunter Casarazzi.
I was recklessly, senselessly, and completely in love with him.
I thought back to that night on the phone when he told me not to fall in love with him, either.
I had been so naïve back then.
And even though it was only a few short months ago, it felt like a lifetime.
"I just realized I forgot my phone at Teagan's," I choked out, needing to be anywhere but in this house, looking at him. Forcing down the lump in my throat, I added, "I'm going to go get it."
I didn’t wait for his response.
Instead, I turned on my heel and rushed back out the front door.
Emotionally drained, I collapsed in the driver's seat of my truck, covered my head in my hands, and desperately tried to force my mind to go blank. To think of anything but the two men who were pulling me in opposite directions.
I was in love with two entirely different men.
One was wild and unattainable and willing to attach his flag to my messed-up mountain.
The other was broken and I had already attached my flag to his.
Fuck…
I couldn’t be here.
Not tonight.
I needed to get away.
I needed to leave.
Do a Teagan on it and haul ass out of the country.
Seemed like the perfect solution right now.
But then I thought of the seven miserable long years we had endured alone.
I couldn’t do that.
I couldn’t go through that pain again.
Not without Teagan at least.
But she was loved up and married now. I doubted she wanted to uproot her world and move back to Cork with me.
In fact, I knew the answer would be a hell no.
I debated driving straight to South Peak Road and curl up in a ball on her lap, but I couldn’t do that.
I couldn’t put them in this positon.
Hiccupping loudly, I cranked the engine of my truck and drove off in the direction of the only place I wanted to be right now.
Thirteenth Street.
I was going home.
Chapter Sixty
HOPE
When my childhood home came into view, I mentally sagged in relief.
All I wanted to do was slip into my old bedroom and hide from the world – from my problems.
I needed the sanctuary while I tried to make sense of my life. Of my guilt. Of how I was going to move forwards now.
I wanted to make things work with Jordan, but the thought of losing Hunter caused me physical pain.
I wasn’t pleased with this side of my personality.
I'd been raised to be better than this.
I had grown up expecting to have a love like my parents shared. A fierce, lifelong, unconditional connection. I had it now, but I had it with two men.
One, my husband.
The other, my lover.
I was going to crash and burn over this.
I could feel it.
For the rest of my life, there would be a hole in my heart.
Either way, I lost.
It wasn’t about who I loved more.
It was about who I couldn’t hurt.
And I couldn’t hurt Jordan.
I couldn’t do it…
Pulling into my parents' empty driveway, I killed the engine and just stared up at the house.
The house was in complete darkness.
Nobody was home.
Relief seeped through me.
At least I could sneak straight up to my room without the third degree.
I let myself in using the house key and just stood in the hallway for a moment, revering in the silence. I needed this. Some time to gather my thoughts and compose myself.
My phone continued to vibrate in my sweatpants' pocket, and this time I slid it out and looked at the screen.
Four missed calls from Dad, two missed calls from Jordan, nine missed calls from Hunter, half a dozen voicemails, and a string of text messages.
Dad: I have something to tell you. Call me.
Hunter: Where are you?
Dad: Call me ASAP.
Hunter: I need to see you.
Hunter: Tell me where you goddamn are, HC!
Hunter: You need to come over here. I need to talk to you.
Hunter: Answer me, dammit!
Cringing, I tapped out a text message, first to my father, then to Hunter.
Hope: Dad, I'm home and nobody's here?
Hope: I need some time, Hunter. I'm staying at my parents' place tonight. Please give me space.
As soon as I pressed send, I switched my phone off and headed into the kitchen.
I just needed space from everyone.
I needed to figure out what the hell I was going to do now.
Flicking on the kitchen light, I made a beeline for the coffee pot.
I needed caffeine.
Badly.
Something to warm the coldness growing inside of my body.
Everything was more with Hunter.
He wanted me to be myself.
I felt oddly free around him, immersed in emotions I had only read about in storybooks.
Because Hunter Casarazzi didn’t want the diluted, censored version of me.
He wanted the ugly, X-rated, uncut and unedited version of my heart.
The part he owned entirely.
Because somewhere along the way, I had lost a piece of myself in Hunter Casarazzi and I didn’t think I would ever be able to replace that piece.
It was only when I heard this strange clicking sound come from behind me, followed by someone roughly clearing their throat, that I realized I wasn’t alone.
I spun around and yelped in surprise when my eyes landed on the stranger sitting at the kitchen table. "Jesus Christ," I strangled out, clutching my chest with my hand as panic laced through me. "Who the hell are you?"
"Hello, sweetheart," the man said, cold blue eyes locked on mine. "Remember me?"
My heart hammered violently only to stop dead in my chest when I noticed the gun on the table. My gaze flicked from the gun to the man then back again.
Horrified awareness slapped me straight in the face as I put two and two together and came up with a big fat four.
"David?" I choked out, as I slowly began to piece together the resemblance between the man I'd seen when I was a child to the man sitting before me. He was older now, more weathered, but it was definitely him. "What the fuck are you doing here?"
"Now, now," he tutted as he slowly rose to his feet, gun held firmly in his right hand. "Is that anyway to greet your grandfather?"
"Probably not," I agreed, edging towards the door. "But I don’t see any grandfather of mine in this room. And you don’t look sick"
He smiled. "I'm not."
Shaking my head, I gaped at him. "Then how are you out?"
"It's good to have friends in high places," he mused. He cocked the gun at me then, aiming at my chest, before muttering a string of curse words. "The quality of this C9 is really beneath me," he explained. "I hate cheap products."
"Are you serious?" I strangled out. Was I hearing this right? Was he seriously debating the quality of the gun he had, no less than a minute ago, been aiming at my chest?
Oh, screw this…
My survival instincts kicked into gear then and I dove for the kitchen door, my only thought being get away now…
The words, "I wouldn’t do that if I were you," caused me to freeze on the mortal spot. "I would hate to have to shoot you, Hope. But I will, if you leave me no choice."
Forcing back the sob that threatened to tear from my chest, I spun around and glared at him. "What do you want?"
"Don’t act so obtuse, Hope," David scolded with a shake of his head. "You know what I want."
I did.
Revenge.
"I have nothing to do with any of this!" I hissed, desperately trying to keep a handle on my nerves. "Whatever happened between you and my father has nothing to do with me."
"True," David mused. "But she's protected."
My jaw fell open. "My mother?"
He nodded.
"You'll never get to her," I spat. "Ever! So, you might as well just give up now."
"That's true," he replied calmly. "He loves her most. Getting within breathing range of your father's precious little wife was never going to happen."
"Then why –"
"Why you?"
I nodded.
"Because you're next," he explained, tone emotionless. "The two great loves of Kyle Carter's life; his wife and his daughter." Shrugging, he added, "Can't get the wife, so..."
He said the words so calmly, so cool and unattached, that it terrified me. I was in the presence of a true sociopath.
"So, what?" I cried, unable to stop the violent tremors that were racking through my body. "You're going to kill me?"
"Of course not," David soothed. A second man appeared in the kitchen doorway, this one much more frightening than my grandfather. He was young, late thirties, and the biggest man I'd ever laid eyes on. "This is Carl," David added, gesturing to the huge man. "He's going to kill you."
I tried to dart towards the back door, but the man caught me by my hair, dragging me roughly towards him.
"Please don't –" I began to say, but my words were lost when he knocked me to the ground with a savage blow to the face.
Crying out in pain, I cupped my jaw and scrambled away.
Fear like I'd never known flooded my body, adrenalin coursing through me.
I was going to die here.
He was going to kill me.
"Please," I croaked out, pleading for my life, even though I knew it was pointless. "Don’t do this."
Please god, don’t let this happen to me.
Please god…
"I wish I could tell you it will be quick and painless," David called out as he walked out of the kitchen. "But we both know that's a lie." He turned to the man and said, "Call me when it's done."
And then he was gone, leaving me alone with my potential assassin.
"You don’t have to do this," I coaxed, scrambling away from the man. I dragged myself to safety, huddling in the corner. "Please – ooof…" The air was knocked clean out of my lungs when his boot caught me hard in the stomach.
"You're a pleasant surprise, bitch," the man snarled, towering over me. "Real fucking nice." His hands dropped to the buckle of his belt. "Bet that pussy of yours is nice and snug."
Winded, I used every ounce of strength I had to kick him away. "Don’t you dare!" I gasped, desperately trying to drag air into my lungs, as I scrambled away.
Fisting my hair, he roughly dragged me back to him
. "Don’t bother trying to run, Cunt!" Forcing me to the ground, he straddled my body, kneeling down on my hands so hard, I was sure the pressure would shatter the bones in my wrists. "It only makes me hard."
"Fuck you," I hissed, spitting and kicking at him with everything I had inside of me. Bucking beneath his unbearable weight, I desperately tried to free myself from his hold.
"Fuck me?" he snarled. Rearing his arm back, he punched me full force in the face. "Fuck you, bitch!"
Everything went hazy then.
Pain scorched through my face as blood tricked from my nose.
Coughing and spluttering, I turned my face to the side and gasped for air, but he grabbed my chin in one beefy hand and roughly forced me to look at him. And then, he hit me again, this time with so much force, it felt like my eye socket had detached from the rest of my face.
A sob tore from my throat when I watched him pull a knife from his back pocket. "What do you want inside you first," he sneered, gesturing towards the sharp blade. "My cock or this knife?"
"No," I cried out, struggling relentlessly even though I knew it was pointless.
I don’t want to die.
I don’t want to die.
"Get off me," I screamed, trying to twist sideways.
It was no use.
He was too big.
Too powerful.
This man was going to do what he wanted with me, and I couldn’t stop him.
I'd never felt more helpless in my life.
"This is for your daddy's benefit," he snarled, as he pressed the tip of the knife to my cheekbone. "David said your father would appreciate the irony; like mother, like daughter."
Then he cut me.
I screamed out in pain as the knife sliced through my flesh, opening me from cheek to jawline.
I think I passed out then, the pain and the smell of blood too much to comprehend.
When I came around several minutes later, my clothes were gone.
With the exception of my panties, I was naked as my torturer knelt over me with his pants down and his penis in his hands.