Sighing, Jerry walked over to his friend and faced him.
“Better?” Brent asked, his tone controlled and cool.
Jerry shrugged and looked away. “I think I’m in way over my head.”
“And I think you’ve been treading water since the first day you set eyes on Elly Benson.”
Closing his eyes for a moment, Jerry opened them to meet his mentor’s concerned gaze. “I don’t believe I’ve ever been as angry or scared before in my life. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to turn her over my knee and spank the brat for putting herself in so much danger, or hug her so close nothing would ever harm her again. But when she gazed at me with the same fear she showed Arthur, I felt sick inside. I’m not a monster, Brent, but I can make mistakes, and I don’t want to cause her more pain. She’s suffered enough. Maybe I’m not the best person for her to be with right now.”
“She might disagree.”
“No. I don’t think she would. I said something earlier about only wanting what was best for her, and she told me Arthur had often said the same thing. I realized then every time I attempt to scold or discipline her, I’m only going to remind her what her ass of a husband did, and I can’t live that way.”
“Do you love her?”
“Oh, God, you know I do. That’s not the problem.”
“So, what would you do if she left you to live with another man?”
“I don’t think I could bear it. I’d move out of Corbin’s Bend.”
“What if she was the one who wanted to leave Corbin’s Bend?”
Jerry gazed at his friend through burning eyes. “Does she?”
“She hasn’t said as much. We’re simply talking hypotheticals right now. Know why?”
“To help me get a grip on my own emotions, so I can decide what to do next.”
“Right. But I’m not a therapist. I can only help you so far, your next step is to make an appointment with a professional. Understand?”
Jerry nodded. “You think I’m that bad off?” He meant the words to be teasing, but the catch in his throat ruined the effect.
“Not at all, but I think you’ll want and need guidance. Elly will too. I’m going to suggest she see Traci. I suspect a woman therapist would be easier for her right now.”
“I agree.”
“Traci would be more than willing to work with you, too, and it might help if she got to know you both at the same time. She’d have a better understanding of your current situation if she could get the 360 perspective.”
“I’ll consider it.”
“Good. Now, do you want to know what Marcus said about your girl?”
Jerry’s heart skipped a beat. “Is she okay? I mean, did he have to take her back to the hospital?”
Brent’s warm hand became a solid and reassuring weight on Jerry’s shoulder. “Easy, kid. She’s fine. Her blood pressure was a bit high, which was expected after all the excitement, and her arm has vivid blue fingerprints from where Benson grabbed her, but her temperature is normal and her incision is still healing nicely.”
“Where is she?”
“Probably still asleep in her bed, where we left her about a half-hour ago. Kelli and Bethany came over to fix her dinner and chat about female stuff, but she kept looking out the window and couldn’t seem to stop crying.”
Jerry closed his eyes. “I didn’t think. When I left, I took Muffin with me. They were just reunited today, so I’m sure Elly was worried sick about her dog.”
“Yeah, you’d think so, wouldn’t you? Except Muffin wasn’t whom she asked about whenever someone came to the door. She realizes you have some excellent reasons to be angry with her, and she feels guilty as hell over leaving the property after you told her not to. She kept chattering on about how you’d wanted her to rest, but Mrs. Kline called to her and she knew you were busy with Beth, so she didn’t want to disturb you, etc., etc. Words flew out of her mouth as if they were one long sentence, and the entire time she monologued, tears fell down her cheeks. Marcus finally gave her a sedative to calm her. But she wasn’t happy about getting a shot either.”
Remembering how she’d clung to him earlier, Jerry smiled, despite the despondency pressing on his shoulders. “She’s not fond of needles.”
“That’s an understatement. Marcus said he’d never heard so many excuses as to why a shot wouldn’t be necessary. Not even from kids at vaccination time.”
“Did she finally settle down?”
“Hmm. If you can call it that, but only after Marcus threatened to give her a swat if she didn’t stop squirming. She grew very still after that. Unnaturally still. But the tears continued to roll along with the unceasing questions regarding your whereabouts.”
“So, who’s with her now?”
“No one at the moment.”
Jerry straightened. “You left her alone after everything that happened today?”
Regarding him with one raised eyebrow, Brent said, “You left her, so we assumed you thought she’d be fine if we did.”
“Brent, she hasn’t been totally left alone for nearly a week now. She needs someone to check on her. To hold her if she gets upset or lonely.”
“Isn’t that your job?”
Those words drew Jerry up short. Holding and reassuring Elly was his job, or at least the job he’d unofficially applied for and accepted. He should be with her now. “You’re right. I need to go.”
“Thought so. One last thing. As long as you’re human, Douglas, you’ll make mistakes. And so will Elly. It’s in the natural order of things, but you guys will work it out, eventually. Take it slow, listen to your heart as well as your mind, and let her tell you what she’s feeling. She needs you, Jerry, not some perfect man who never makes mistakes. The fact you realize you’re not perfect, says a lot about you. I don’t think Arthur believed he’d ever made a mistake in his life, and that was probably his biggest error. I’ll drop by sometime tomorrow afternoon and we can go over the paperwork Elly needs to fill out. Now, go to your girl.”
* * * *
Not wanting to disturb Elly, if she was asleep, Jerry warned the dogs to be quiet as he let them into the house and removed their leashes. They immediately headed over to their water bowls. Their licenses tingled like tiny bells as metal tags clanged against ceramic dishes while they lapped. Jerry had always found the sound comforting.
“Sorry guys. I wasn’t being very thoughtful, was I?” He stepped into the pantry and brought out two cans of food, which he opened in the kitchen. “Bet you’re hungry, too.”
Muffin immediately started hopping against his leg. “I guess starved is the better word, huh? What is it about you and hopping anyway?”
“It’s her signal to let you know you aren’t moving fast enough.”
Jerry whipped around to find Elly standing near the door of the kitchen in a pink baby doll nightie that complimented her cute figure to perfection. The outfit’s sleeves were short enough to reveal a group of faint blue marks dotting her upper arm. Remnants of her husband’s loving attention. And though she had her arms wrapped about her in a protective stance; her eyes were clear.
He gave a nod, then glanced down at the persistent dog. “Okay, I get the message, but I’m moving as fast as I can. Now, sit.”
Muffin immediately did as ordered, but her dark brown eyes remained fixed on him with expectation. He forked the food into their bowls. In addition to purchasing a bed for his new canine companion, he’d bought food, bowls, harness and a leash. She seemed to have adapted well to her new surroundings. At least he didn’t notice any hesitancy in her as far as he was concerned. Her mistress, however, was an entirely different matter.
Placing the fool bowls down, he glanced over at Elly. “Why aren’t you sleeping?”
“I couldn’t. I was worried about you.”
“Me? I’m fine. You’re the one we need to be worried about.” He started toward her, but stopped when she took a step back. “Go to bed, Elly.”
When she shook her head, he raised
an eyebrow in question.
“I want to talk.”
“Tonight? I don’t think so. You need your rest.”
“Are you still angry with me?”
“I’m concerned. I’ll always be concerned where you’re involved. Now, go to bed. We’ll talk in the morning.”
She shook her head again, but her eyes were wide with uncertainty, so he leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms. “I don’t want you to be afraid of me, but I will insist if you force the issue.”
Her eyes remaining fixed on his; she lowered her arms to her sides. “I’m not afraid of you.”
“No?”
Another shake of the head. Did he dare call her bluff? Echoing her movements, he lowered his arms to his sides. Her entire body stiffened in response, but she didn’t retreat. “What is it you want, Elly?”
Her eyebrows drew together, creating a small wrinkle over her nose he so badly wanted to erase with a kiss. “You,” she said so softly he almost didn’t hear her.
“I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere else tonight, so you can go to bed without worry.”
“I know, but I was scared when you walked away from me.”
“You were scared when I walked toward you, too.”
“Yes, but those two fears aren’t the same at all. When you walked toward me, I was uncertain about what you intended to do, even though a part of me knew you’d never seriously hurt me on purpose. When you walked away though…”
“What were you thinking then?”
“That you might choose not to come back.”
“I live here.”
She shook her head. “That’s not what I meant. I doubted you’d throw me out onto the streets, but when you walked away, I suspected you were through with me. I was afraid you’d never hold me again—or kiss me. And those thoughts frightened me even more than the idea of you disciplining me. I’d rather you spanked me than leave me that way again.”
As he gazed into her haunted eyes, Jerry realized Brent was right. Elly would rather accept pain at his hand than be left adrift without any anchor at all. She associated spankings with abuse, and abuse with protection, and he would only be repeating the cycle if he didn’t take care. He had been angry enough to spank her earlier, but he never wanted to hurt her. Spankings didn’t have to be abusive to be effective, except he had no idea how to get that notion across to her. They both needed to make appointments to see Traci, and soon.
Since he considered honesty to be the best policy, Jerry opted to be completely frank with Elly and prayed his words didn’t make things worse.
“You were terrified of what I might do when we were in the dog park, which was why I walked away. I never want you to be afraid of me, Elly, but if I’d spanked you as I’d wanted to right then, you would have screamed bloody murder, and the police would have arrested me, too.” Though he spoke the words with a slightly teasing smile, there was a tremendous amount of truth behind them.
Cocking her head to one side, she regarded him through narrowed eyes. “I doubt you would have hit me that hard.”
“Honey, I was so angry with you for endangering your life, you would have had trouble sitting for days afterward.”
The little crease between her eyebrows reappeared. “I didn’t mean to disobey you.”
He held up his hand. “Your intentions may have been to spare Mrs. Kline a journey, but you put your life at risk by doing so.” He glanced at his watch. “It’s almost 10 PM and you need your rest. We’re not going to solve anything tonight, so let’s go to bed and continue this discussion tomorrow.”
“Please, don’t send me away when you’re angry.”
“I’m not. I’m—”
“Stay with me tonight.”
He hesitated. Though her plea was heartfelt, he could think of many reasons why sleeping with her would be a very bad idea. “Elly, I—”
“Please. I’ll sleep better if you’re beside me.”
“I doubt that.”
“I will. And if you won’t sleep with me while you’re still angry, then spank me first.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’d rather you spank and cuddle with me afterward, then send me to bed and go off in a huff to sleep somewhere else. But if you’re willing to hold me tonight, I’ll put off begging for my spanking until tomorrow.”
It took all his will not to drop his jaw open with amazement. “And tomorrow, you’ll beg me to spank you?”
“If that’s what it will take for you to forgive me, then yes. I’ll beg.”
“Sweetie, there’s no reason for you—”
“Please?”
Realizing she needed his help to feel secure again, he gave a nod. “Fine. Go get into bed. I need to let the dogs out for the last time tonight. When they’re settled, I’ll join you.”
The sight of her broad smile had him suspecting he was treading in much deeper water than he realized. But when she turned to walk out of the room, the tempting sway of her backside had his cock rising to attention and his teeth clamping down on his lower lip. He was in trouble. With a capital T.
* * * *
Elly crawled into bed and listened while Jerry talked softly to the dogs. She loved the way he spoke to them as if they could understand every word he said. Jack was a smart dog, but Muffin was clever. She knew how to manipulate people into giving her what she wanted. At least she knew how to manipulate Elly. Jerry was undoubtedly a bit firmer in his approach because he was used to insisting reluctant animals do what he wanted. He loved all furry creatures, but he knew they needed restrictions and guidelines to be happy, so he enforced his rules with firm patience. Unlike Arthur who enforced his rules with a painful application of his strength. Arthur.
Closing her eyes, Elly couldn’t believe he’d bought a gun much less intended to use one against her and Muffin. Would he have shot her? She didn’t want to think about that. He’d been angry, but she sensed his fury stemmed from a fear he’d lost control over her, and he had. She had struggled so hard to be the sort of wife he wanted, but no longer. She’d never fit the mold of the obedient, biddable wife, and she’d been wrong to think she could. Jerry, on the other hand, admired her bursts of temper and flashes of independence. He wanted her to be her own individual, not a carbon copy of his ideal image of womanhood, which was something she probably could never be anyway. That realization depressed her.
When the dogs had finished eating, he encouraged them to go outdoors. The opening of the back door was followed by the scrabbling of nails on vinyl and a few thumps. Muffin was hopping again.
“Stop it,” Jerry commanded quietly, and the thumps ceased. The reassurance in his quiet commands comforted her as well as them. Solid, reliable, caring and patient. Elly pressed against her pillow and smiled. She suspected he’d make a wonderful lover. Arthur had always been more focused on the conclusion, rather than the act, and her pleasure came second to his own, so she was used to taking care of herself. Somehow she didn’t think that would be necessary with Jerry, but he was adamant she not exert herself until she was fully healed. Marcus had told her six weeks, but perhaps, if they were careful, she and Jerry could find a way around the doctor’s limitation.
She sat up when Jerry walked into her room followed by Muffin who went straight to her bed and sat up for her bedtime cookie. After chuckling at the dog’s antics, Jerry gave Muffin the biscuit she begged for, then turned and frowned at Elly, but she sensed his expression was rooted more in concern than displeasure.
“I thought you’d be asleep already.”
“I was waiting for you.”
Rather than walk around the bed to the other side, he took a seat next to her and pressed the back of his hand to her forehead. “Did Marcus take your temperature?”
“Yes, and it was normal.”
“Hmm. You feel a bit warm to me. Maybe I should retake it. Blood pressure?”
“Yup, had one of those, too.
His expression served as a clear warning for her to stop
fooling around and tell him the truth. Spoil sport. Realizing he probably wouldn’t be happy with the results, she hesitated, closed her eyes and blurted the truth. “Higher than normal, but Marcus said given what I’d been through he wasn’t surprised.”
“And he changed your wound dressing?”
“Yes, Jerry. I’m fine.” She tugged his hand. “Please, I don’t need my temperature or blood pressure retaken, I only need you beside me.”
He stroked her hair. “Who’s the doctor in this house?”
“You are, but—”
A finger pressed lightly against her lips. “So, I decide, not you. Right?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good.” He rose from the bed. “I’ll be right back.”
Elly sighed and settled back in bed. She didn’t want a physical exam, she wanted a warm-blooded male hugging her close and reminding her she was a desirable woman, not just a patient in need of medical attention.”
Then, he returned carrying a pair of latex gloves, a thermometer, and a tube of lubricant. Lubricant? What the hell? She jerked upright. “No!”
Chapter Sixteen
One eyebrow arching, Jerry made a motion with his hand. “Roll over.”
“No.” Elly crossed her arms over her chest in stubborn refusal. She would not allow Jerry to stick a thermometer in her butt under any circumstances. “Marcus used a digital device that went in my ear. That—” She pointed to the mercury and glass contraption Jerry held. “Is archaic and should be kept in a museum along with other obsolete medical devices.”
“I’m not Marcus, I’m Jerry, and I’m a vet. This is how we take temperatures. Now, roll over.”
“Are you telling me that’s how you take your own temperature when you’re sick?”
“No, but I am telling you it’s how I plan to take yours. Now, be a good girl and roll over, or I will get firm.”
“But—”
“Elly, the only other words I want to hear coming out of those lovely, pink lips of yours right now, is ‘yes, sir.’ Last warning. Roll over.”
A Simple Misunderstanding (Corbin's Bend) Page 18