I force my feet to move until I reach a spot to the right of the building entrance. The lowest iron beam attached to the glass becomes a handhold. I heave and swing my legs onto the beam, which is wide enough that I could probably sit on it without falling, if it weren’t wet.
My footing isn’t as solid as I’d like. But I reach for the next beam anyway, gasping for breath.
This is dangerous in the dark, especially with the beams slippery because of the rain. There are spare lights from the surrounding buildings, and light from the moon, but it’s hard to see details. Even when I squint I can’t see many cracks in the steel. But I’ll have to manage.
Nellie and her gang stumble to a stop below me when I’m on the fourth beam, a good twenty feet off the ground.
“One of you go after her, will you?” Nellie pushes Grady toward the wall.
He sticks his weapon between his teeth and pulls himself onto the first beam. After he’s up, he glances at me, his cheeks pale. I smirk as I get to my feet, though I feel a little sorry for him. He’s afraid of heights, and he’s always been a terrible climber.
“Bet you I can get to the top!” I shout.
“Bet your life, you mean,” Nellie says.
“Sure thing.”
She doesn’t say anything to that. I take a breath and focus on my game. I don’t know that there’s any speed record to beat, but if there is, I’m going to beat it.
The seventh beam is a little harder; it’s diagonal and slippery, and my fingers grope for a crevice or hold. I feel cracks here and there, but I can’t see them, and most seem too small. I grasp one anyway and start to heave myself up.
My foot slips—
The bottom of my stomach drops out—
My fingers fumble and catch a bigger crack. I pull myself up, shaking, until I reach the flatter part. Below me, Nellie snarls in agitation.
The higher I climb, the more the icy wind and the rain rip at my curls. I glance down and my stomach squeezes. It’s a long drop to the street. One slip and I’ll turn to pulp in the gravel. I wonder if any kid has ever made Extraction and died before getting to see the Core, before getting a taste of safety.
I wonder again if Cadet Waller and the Extractions already made it to the departure bay, if they’re going to leave without me.
My throat tightens, and I clench my teeth hard to keep from crying. I shouldn’t have run away and gone looking for Logan.
But I had to. I never would’ve forgiven myself otherwise.
Five beams higher, I glance at the ground and pause, catching my breath and trying desperately not to think about the drop. My feet fit on the beam so I can stand, but just barely. I cling to a panel of glass by the tips of my fingers.
Below me, Grady has given up. Carter is taking his place.
I don’t see Logan. I hope he’s all right.
I’m about to continue up the ledges when I realize Carter isn’t climbing anymore, either. He’s scrambling back down to the street.
I hear a faint voice—Nellie, maybe. Before I can guess what she might’ve said, she’s running. Carter hops down into the gravel. He and the others race to my left, not the way we came but down a different road. They disappear around a corner.
Two officials stalk into view from around the corner we came from, their helmets casting green light in the dark. I lean instinctively into the glass. A cam-bot hovers beside them, its fake eyes two pinpoints of red.
“Is someone up there?” an official calls. His helmet magnifies his voice.
I’m frozen on the iron foothold, my heart knocking against my ribs. I wanted someone to come, but now I’m not sure anymore. I’m hanging off a restricted building and my attackers have disappeared, taking proof of the incident with them. These officials might not believe my story. They might not recognize me as an Extraction.
They might send me straight to quarantine.
Four more figures round the street corner before I decide what to do. One is a woman with a high ponytail and scarlet uniform dress, and two male officials are leading a boy who limps with every step.
Logan.
“Citizen S68477, we know you’re up there,” the first official says, his voice rank with annoyance.
They know. Logan must’ve told them. But what will they do when they catch me? The air I’m sucking into my lungs is cold, too cold for me to think properly.
Two fierce spotlights flood the gravel road, originating from the cam-bot’s fake eyes. They hit the glass far below me and run along the iron beams.
I don’t know if I can trust the officials. I just don’t know.
So I do what feels natural: I keep climbing. I reach for the beam above and heave myself up with fumbling fingers.
I’m barely seven beams higher and getting to my feet when the floodlights from the cam-bot reflect off the glass in front of me, blinding me. I gasp and squeeze my eyes shut, clutching the window. My foot almost slipped just then. I almost fell.
“Stay where you are,” the official says.
I open an eye. The lights flit away from me, so they’re not blinding me anymore. I can see the ground below me again, so very far. There are more people down there: officials and even some adults who look like they just stumbled out of bed.
They’re so far below me. I’m afraid to move an inch. I don’t want to slip; I don’t want to fall. I don’t want to be up this high anymore.
A loud whirring reaches my ears. From around the street corner, a silver ball lifts into the air, its rotors spinning a cloud of dust.
A flight pod, come to rescue me. I hope; I plead.
I hold my breath as it nears my beam. I wish I’d climbed all the way to the top of the building, so I wouldn’t be sitting here worrying about how I’m going to get from here into the flight pod without splattering in the gravel.
The side door zips open, and an official reaches his gloved hand out. “You’ll have to jump,” he shouts over the rotors.
I take two seconds. I take two breaths, and pretend the gap between me and the doorway is a centimeter instead of two feet.
I jump with a cry into the pod and stumble when my feet touch the ground. The patrol catches me as the door slides shut, silencing the wind’s roar.
I expect him to release me right away, but he doesn’t. His arms tighten around my shaking body, pulling me against his chest. It feels wrong.
“You all right?” he asks. “Those kids didn’t hurt you, did they? I’ll make sure they’re sent to quarantine if they did.”
My body tenses. He knows about my attackers. Logan must’ve told them what happened.
“I’m fine,” I say, pulling away. “And they were just messing around—you don’t have to send them to quarantine.” Please don’t, I want to add. They did hurt Logan, and Carter and Larry used to bully me all the time, but they don’t deserve to die. Especially not Grady.
“Well, we’ll see if they have other infractions,” the official says. The slits in his helmet are open, and I can see his eyes. I’ve never seen an official’s eyes before. They’re wide with relief, almost a smile, and seem more youthful than I expected. He’s maybe twenty-three or twenty-four.
“I’m vruxing glad you’re fine,” he says. “Commander Charlie would’ve blasted us all if you’d ended up dead.”
The pod jolts me as it lands in the gravel. I clutch a ceiling strap like the ones we hang on to in the hovercraft, frowning at him. He means Charlie the Developer: the leader of our planet, who goes by the title of commander to set him apart from the other four Developers. But it seems rash for this patrol to assume Commander Charlie would kill his soldiers because they let me die.
“Before you go,” the official says, “can I ask how you climbed so high?”
The pod door zips open. He slips his hand around the upper part of my arm to lead me out into the moonlight.
“I don’t know, I just did,” I say, distracted. I need to find Logan.
Cadet Waller steps in front of me. “Are you hurt anywhe
re?” she asks.
I shake my head. She observes me for a moment, her eyes narrowed slightly and her cheeks pinched, as if she doesn’t believe me. Or maybe she doesn’t believe whatever story she heard. But her face softens and she sighs, pulling me into a hug that feels a bit awkward. “I’m so sorry you got separated from us, sweetie. Everyone else is waiting at the departure bay. Do you need anything before we join them?”
Over her shoulder, I see Logan standing there. His arm is scraped and bloody, and the dirt running in a band along his jaw looks too much like my scar. I want to strangle Nellie and those boys.
Logan gives me a pained smile.
I close my eyes for a moment and take a breath. “I think I’m okay,” I say.
“Great.” Cadet Waller pulls away from me. “Let’s get going, then.”
I chew on my lip as she turns to say something to one of the officials.
“Wait,” I say, and she stops. I hesitate once more. “Would … would it be all right if Logan comes with us? He could see me off at the shuttle bay.”
Cadet Waller frowns a deep frown that forms several creases in her forehead. She opens her mouth to reply.
“Please,” I add quickly.
She presses her lips into a line. She sighs and rubs the crease between her eyebrows. “All right. But he’s not allowed far inside the station. You’ll have to say goodbye near the entrance.”
I nod, though that doesn’t sound like enough time at all. I’m not sure there will ever be enough time. “Thank you.”
She steps past me. “Well, come along, then, We’ll take this pod to the station.”
Logan glances at me, his eyes still weary, but focused now too. He knows this will be it.
I grab his hand as I turn back to the pod, so for a few minutes at least, I won’t lose him.
8
The departure bay is abuzz with noise. Announcements play in an almost endless stream over the intercom.
“For Crust departures, please report to Terminal A.… All flight personnel, please check in with a commanding officer.… For Mantle departures, please report to Terminal B.…”
And so on.
We pause in the entrance terminal, near a counter with signs that read LUGGAGE COLLECTION and FLIGHT CHECKIN. The place is darker than I’d expect, with dim red and blue lights flashing on the walls. Someone pushes through the door to the main terminal ahead, and I glimpse steam, ships, and personnel.
Cadet Waller glances at me and Logan. “I’ll give you two a moment. Make it quick.”
She snaps her fingers at the two officials who accompanied us inside, and they all move away toward the checkin counter. Cadet Waller speaks fast into her earpiece.
Logan turns to me, and every muscle stands out in his body. His eyes are bluish-gray, starry-night and never-ending. They make my stomach squeeze.
“It’s okay,” he whispers.
“But it’s not.”
He’ll die up here once I’m gone. They’ll work him too hard. They’ll take things from him he might not get back.
Unless I find a way to save him. If there’s a way, I will find it. I’m Promising now, which means people might listen to me. The Developers might listen, if when the time comes that I’m allowed to pick a job, I pick one that will get me closer to them.
I’ll convince them to make an exception. I’ll do whatever it takes.
I take deep breaths to keep my eyes from watering.
Logan sighs and pulls me into his arms. I feel his heart beating fast through his wet shirt. “You’ll love it down there,” he says softly. “It’ll be even better than we imagined.”
Even if it isn’t better, there isn’t any choice for me here. The Developers picked me for Extraction and they didn’t pick Logan. I have to live with that now. Unless …
“What if…” I swallow. “What if I stayed? What if we found some way to run, instead? What if we broke into the security hub and took down the force field and got out and found somewhere to hide—”
“Clementine, shh. We can’t break into the security hub.”
He’s right; it would be near impossible. There must be a thousand security codes required to get inside. Not to mention all the systems we’d have to sort through to find the activation center for the force-field fence around the settlement, and all the skill it would take to shut it down. And that’s without taking into account the officials who guard the hub 24-7.
A sound breaks free of my mouth, half a sob, half a sound of annoyance. I clench the bottom of Logan’s shirt in my hands. “It’s not fair. They’re going to hurt you.”
“Please don’t be scared for me.” He hugs me tighter. “You’re leaving, you got that? You’re getting out of here. There’s nowhere else to go.”
He’s right, but that doesn’t lessen the tightness in my throat. That doesn’t make me feel any better about leaving him.
“Down there”—Logan pauses to take a shaky breath, and pulls away to cup my face in his hands—“you’ll have a lot more opportunity. You should use it, since the rest of us can’t. You should figure out how to change things on the Surface and in the other outer sectors.”
“You think that’s possible?”
Logan’s thumb brushes my cheek. His hands are callused from fieldwork, but they feel gentle on my skin. “If anyone can do it, it’s you.”
I’m not sure he’s right about that. Maybe I’m good with numbers and science, maybe I’m a fast climber, but I’m no smarter than anyone else who’s ever lived. There’ve been hundreds of rebels in the past who’ve tried to change the system. They all failed. Rebellion is the reason the Developers make us live like slaves in the first place.
“I’ll try,” I say, “but you have to promise you won’t do anything stupid. Don’t rebel, don’t try to run, just get through like we always have. I’m going to try to convince the Developers to make an exception for you.”
His hands drop away from my face. “I said don’t worry about me, Clementine.”
“Promise me you won’t do anything crazy.” Please don’t kill yourself, I mean. He knows what I mean; I can see it in his eyes.
But he doesn’t answer. I wonder if I was right to bring up that option. Now, even if he says it won’t be one for him, I won’t know if I believe him. I’ll always worry that he’ll wake up one morning and decide he’s done fighting.
I swallow hard. “Please promise.”
“I promise I won’t,” he says quietly. “As long as there’s any chance I might see you again, I won’t. But that’s all I’ll promise.”
“I’ll save you, okay?” I wipe the tears off my cheeks. “I’ll make the Developers save you.”
“Okay,” he says, but I can tell he doesn’t believe me. He’s trying to make me feel better, but he thinks he’s going to die no matter what I do.
I have to prove him wrong.
The sound of someone else’s breathing comes from behind me. “Time to go,” Cadet Waller says.
Logan closes his eyes for a brief moment and nods. The two officials step over and place their hands on his shoulder.
“I guess I’ll see you,” Logan says.
It feels like a million needles are sticking into my skin, all over my body. But I force myself to nod.
Logan starts to turn away.
“Wait!” I say.
He pauses. I don’t know what I’m doing. But I rush forward anyway and throw my arms around his waist. He pulls me closer to him, so close it’s like he’s trying to mold us together. He smells like musk and rain and hope. He feels like safety.
Without thinking, without realizing what I’m doing, I tilt my chin up to find his lips. Something feverish registers in his eyes.
His mouth moves to mine, and our lips brush. The particles between them are charged. Lightning shoots up every inch of my body.
Hands pull him out of my grip. Water blurs my eyes.
“I’m sorry, but he has to go,” Cadet Waller says.
“I won’t leave.”
I reach for Logan again.
“You have to,” he says, blinking hard as the officials pull him away, toward the entrance doors. “I’ll be fine.”
The doors open. The officials pull him outside, into the rainy moonlight.
“No, you won’t be.” I should run to him. But my legs shake when I try to walk.
“Don’t forget me, Clementine.” The doors start to slide shut, and his voice becomes urgent. “If you don’t know already, you should know, I—”
Closing steel drowns his words. His face is lost through the glass and the rain.
I know what he was going to say. I stumble to the doors. I don’t care anymore. I don’t care whether I get to leave or not; I can’t leave him.
A hand closes around my arm. Cadet Waller.
I try to pull away from her, but she only grips me tighter. “Clementine, please. Control yourself,” she snaps.
I stop fighting her. After a moment, she lets go of me. I stare at the doors and send my sorrys through them.
Cadet Waller shakes her head at me. “Come along. Everyone’s waiting.”
Tears stream down my cheeks as I follow her.
I run a shaky hand down the length of my arm and try to breathe. I have to escape because it’s the only option for me—and also for him. It’s the only way I might convince the Developers to save him too.
I will return for him. I will save him. I won’t forget him or the feel of his fingers lingering on my skin.
He used to say he’d never leave me alone, not ever. Now I’m leaving him.
*
I sit in my seat inside a rumbling hovercraft, the words It’s going to be okay playing over and over in my head.
The ship is small and sleek from the outside. Inside, there are passenger seats behind the cockpit: six rows with three seats each on either side of the aisle, and luggage compartments overhead. But the compartments are empty. We don’t own any possessions but the clothes on our back and the shoes on our feet.
After leaving the departure bay, we flew through a short tunnel that looked like nothing but gray streaks through the windows. Then we headed down into the Pipeline, the underground passage through the center of Kiel. I thought I’d fall out of my seat at first, we were moving so fast.
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