by Susan Stoker
Erin nodded and watched as he backed away from her, then eventually turned and walked toward his truck. She kept watching as he threw his bag in the back, climbed inside, started it up, and put it in gear. She waved as he turned his head to look at her one more time, thrilled when he lifted his chin in a very manly goodbye and drove out of the lot.
Pulling out her phone, Erin used her thumb to unlock it and clicked on Conor’s name in her contacts. Her thumbs raced over the screen as she typed out a quick text. She hoped he’d been serious when he’d said there were no dating rules between them because even though she hadn’t ever been on a real date or been in any kind of relationship, she had a feeling what she was doing wasn’t normal and would probably scare off any man who wasn’t Conor.
Erin: You just left and I already miss you.
At the end of her sentence, just for fun, she added several emojis…a crying smiley face, a snowman, a cactus, a goat, a flashlight, a campfire, a police car, and some sort of Asian symbol. Then she put her phone back in her pocket, made sure everything on the trailer was secured, the van was locked, and went to her blue Jeep. She smiled the entire time.
7
A week later, on a Tuesday night, Conor sat in The Sloppy Cow with Daxton, Cruz, Quint, TJ, and Calder. They were having a guys’ night out at the bar. Of course, the “night” would most likely only last until around eight-thirty, when those who had women at home would wrap things up. TJ and Calder would probably hang around for another hour or so, then they’d probably leave too.
But Conor planned on staying for as long as he could get away with it. Erin was working tonight and, even if he couldn’t talk to her, he enjoyed sitting at the bar watching her do her thing.
She looked especially good tonight. She was wearing one of her ever-present long-sleeve shirts, but it hugged her slender body and highlighted her tits, even without showing an inch of skin. The jeans she was wearing were molded to her body and Conor knew after his friends left and he shifted to a stool at the bar, he’d be able to ogle her ass every time she bent over.
“You got something to tell us?” Dax asked dryly from his right.
Conor turned his head away from the object of his fascination and smiled at his friend. He knew exactly what he was asking, but decided to fuck with him for a while. “So you heard huh? Yeah, I’m up for promotion.”
“That’s not what I was talking about,” Dax said grumpily. But then added in a more upbeat tone, “But congrats, that’s awesome.”
Not having the patience Dax did, Cruz asked, “What’s the deal, Conor? Two weeks ago, you and the pretty bartender were dancing around each other like eighth graders at your first boy-girl dance. Now you’re both making googly eyes at each other. If I wasn’t so in love with Mickie, I’d be disgusted. Now spill.”
“I take it the canoe trip went well,” TJ added.
Conor knew he had a goofy grin on his face, but couldn’t help it. “The canoe trip went well. Really well.”
“And?” Quint asked when Conor didn’t elaborate.
“That’s it. We’re dating now. Taking things one day at a time. She’s busy, and so am I. But I’ll tell you…she’s special, and I like her. A lot.”
Calder clapped him on the back. “That’s awesome. She seems great.”
“She is,” Conor agreed immediately. “And she’s perfect for me. She loves camping and we’ve gone running together a handful of times.”
“She can keep up with you?” Dax asked, knowing how serious Conor was about his running.
“If she wanted, I have a feeling she could run circles around me.”
“No shit?” Quint asked, his eyebrows rising in disbelief.
“No shit,” Conor confirmed. “We went last Monday for the first time and I was all ready to go slow for her sake, but within the first half mile, I knew we were a perfect running match. She didn’t try to race to impress me, but she also wasn’t humoring me by slowing her own pace.”
“She seems,”—TJ paused, obviously trying to think of the right word—“less jaded than someone I thought you’d end up with.”
“That’s because she is,” Conor immediately agreed. “She might be a bartender and have to deal with drunk pigs on a regular basis, but she has no clue when it comes to society’s rules or dating.”
“What do you mean?” Calder asked.
“For instance, last Sunday, after spending three days together on the canoe trip and having an intense conversation in the parking lot where she worked, I left. And not two minutes later she texted me. She wanted to let me know that she already missed me.”
The men around the table were quiet for a moment, then Cruz whistled low. “Hang on to her, Conor,” he said. “I can tell you from experience, a woman who doesn’t play games and who isn’t afraid to tell you that she had a good time is someone you want to hold on to. Mickie’s that way with me, and I count my lucky stars I pulled my head out of my ass and she’s now mine.”
“I have every intention of keeping Erin,” Conor informed Cruz and the others. “I love that she calls me just because she had a five-minute break and was thinking of me. I love that she doesn’t hesitate to tell me what she’s thinking when she’s thinking it. We haven’t been able to see each other in person very much, at least not when we’re both off work, but it doesn’t matter. Texting her, hearing her voice over the phone, or simply watching her while she’s doing her thing,” he gestured to the bar with his head, “it’s enough…for now.”
“She’s got demons,” TJ said softly. His words weren’t harsh or accusatory, they just were.
“I know,” Conor said.
“You need to tread lightly,” TJ insisted.
Conor was irritated now. “I know,” he repeated. “If you think I spent three days with her last weekend and didn’t notice that, you’re insane.”
“All I’m saying is that she might seem untouched and innocent, but she’s been through something big. Something that made her retreat from the world. Hide. She has some of the most expressive eyes I’ve ever seen. She seems okay on the outside, but inside she’s dealing with something heavy,” TJ said without any doubt in his tone.
The men were all quiet for a long moment. They all knew TJ had been through his own kind of hell. He’d been a member of a top-secret Delta Force team for quite a few years before quitting the Army altogether and joining the highway patrol. He’d seen his share of death and destruction, and if he said Erin had PTSD of some sort, then she most likely did.
“I know. That’s why I’m not pressuring her for anything,” Conor said.
“There might come a time when you need to pressure her,” TJ countered. “Sometimes in order to deal with the shit eating you alive, it has to be brought to light and banished once and for all.”
Conor ground his teeth together. He didn’t mind his friend giving him advice, but he didn’t like thinking about Erin having to deal with whatever it was that was eating at her. But now that TJ had brought it up, he remembered what he wanted to ask his friends.
“Ten-four,” he told TJ, then turned to Cruz and Dax. “Need a favor.”
“Name it.”
“Sure.”
Conor loved his friends. They didn’t even know what the favor was, but agreed without hesitation anyway. “I’m hoping you can make some discreet inquiries for me. Erin’s dad disappeared when she was eight. I know it’s been twenty-seven years, but something doesn’t feel right about it.”
“You want us to find him,” Cruz stated.
“Yeah. At least see if you can find any information on him.” Conor went on to explain all that he knew about Erin’s father. He didn’t have a lot, didn’t have his birthdate or social security number, but knew his general age, where he’d disappeared from and when, and the name of Erin’s mother.
Dax took a sip of his beer and pierced Conor with his gaze. “What aren’t you saying?”
Conor’s lips twitched. His friends knew him well. “I have absolutely no proof of an
“But it’s not sitting well with you,” Quint observed.
“Not in the least,” Conor agreed. “Erin told me how much she loved her dad. How he’d take her camping, sharing his love of the outdoors with her. The man gave her his lucky flint to wear on her shoe, for God’s sake. She told me her mom is a bitch and that she and her dad used to argue all the time. For him to up and disappear without another word to his daughter doesn’t seem likely.”
“You think the mom killed him,” Calder stated baldly.
“Or had him killed, yeah,” Conor agreed, stating his suspicions out loud for the first time. He looked at the medical examiner. “Come to think about it, can you check for John Does showing up around the time he went missing? Or even later? It’s a long shot; if the mother did do something, it’s possible the body hasn’t ever been found.”
“I’ll see what I can find out,” Calder said.
“This could backfire,” TJ warned.
Conor tried to control his temper. He was getting tired of the other man being all gloom and doom. “If your beloved father went missing, and you spent the rest of your adolescent life being treated like shit by your bitch of a mother, wouldn’t you want to know why your dad left? Wouldn’t you want to know what happened to him?”
“Absolutely,” TJ agreed immediately. “But sometimes knowing can be harder than not knowing.”
“You’re wrong,” Conor fired back. “If one of my sisters disappeared, there’s no way that not knowing what happened would be better than having the closure of knowing.”
“Even if she was tortured? Raped? If she died a horrible death?” TJ responded calmly. “Because that could be her dad’s fate. You think Erin can handle that?”
Conor turned to look at the woman who was fast becoming the center of his world. Erin was smiling at one of the bar’s regular patrons. She had her hands resting on the bar and her light brown hair was pulled back in her customary ponytail…with a piece hanging loose by her face. That lock of hair seemed to have a mind of its own and never stayed in whatever restraint she put it in.
“She can handle it. She looks weak, but she’s one of the strongest people I’ve ever met,” Conor told TJ, looking him in the eyes as he did. “Whatever you see behind her eyes is what’s made her that way. I don’t know her story yet, but I will. And when I find out, I guarantee I’ll want to beat the shit out of someone, or several someones, but whatever it is has made her able to face the truth. I’m half convinced she already has her own suspicions about what happened to her dad.”
The two men stared at each other for a long moment before TJ finally nodded. “I’ll do whatever I can to help.”
“Thanks. Appreciate it.”
“Hey,” a soft voice said from next to the table.
All six men turned their heads to stare at Erin. She was holding a tray with two pitchers on it. “I thought you could use a refill.”
Conor immediately stood and put his arm around Erin’s waist. He could feel her trembling under him. She was nervous, but she’d overcome it and braved facing all his friends. It was the first time she’d seen them all together since they’d started officially dating.
TJ stood as well and took the tray from her. “Thanks, Erin. We were just going to see if we could have another round.”
She smiled at him with a small quirk of her lips.
“Now’s as good a time as any,” Conor announced. “Everyone, I know you know Erin, the bartender, but I’d like to introduce you to Erin, my girlfriend.”
Erin blushed, but met his eyes and grinned up at him.
“I think you know everyone, but just in case, this is Daxton, Cruz, Quint, TJ, and Calder. We might work in different fields of law enforcement, but the bottom line is we’re all on the same side and help each other out whenever we can.”
“It’s good to see you all again,” Erin said.
“So…you’re dating this reprobate,” Quint teased. “I could’ve introduced you to one of the officers from the SAPD if you’d said something.”
His words were light and airy, and Conor was pleased when he felt Erin relax against him instead of tensing up.
“Oh well, thanks for the offer. I’ll keep that in mind.”
“You will not,” Conor growled, and tightened his arm around her waist.
She giggled then and smiled at him. “Jealous?” she joked.
“Absolutely.”
Her smile dimmed when she realized Conor wasn’t kidding. “Conor,” she whispered.
“I’ll be back,” Conor informed his friends even as he was turning Erin and walking her to the hallway that housed the restrooms and a back office. He wanted to take her in his arms and show her just how jealous the thought of her being with anyone other than him made him, but Conor controlled himself…barely.
He pressed her against the wall at the back of the hallway and leaned into her. “Fuck yes, I’m jealous. I don’t want any other man to even think about putting his hands on you. Or kissing you. Or anything else.”
“I don’t want that either,” Erin said immediately, unknowingly putting to rest the animal inside him that was ready to claw its way out. “I only want to be with you.”
He loved that she wasn’t coy. That she didn’t try to make him jealous just to tie him closer to her. Her innate innocence was intoxicating. But it was the core of steel inside her that made him want to know everything about her. What she was thinking, what her dreams were, what she wanted out of her life.
“Damn straight,” he belatedly replied. Then ordered, “Kiss me.”
Erin looked left and right, then said, “But we’re in public.”
“Yup. And anyone could come down the hallway and see us making out. Kiss me anyway.” Conor knew he was being bossy, but couldn’t help it. Between TJ warning him off and Quint telling her he’d set her up with one of his officer friends, he needed to taste her again.
Hell, who was he kidding, he didn’t need an excuse.
Without waiting for her to respond, he leaned down and took her lips with his. This time, she immediately opened to him. Her tongue came out and pressed against his lips, demanding entry. With a groan, he gave in, giving her access to his mouth. Erin was more aggressive than she’d been any other time he’d kissed her. Those other times, she let him take the lead and mimicked his actions.
This time, she took charge. Running her tongue over his, licking his lips and tilting her head on her own so she could take him deeper.
Conor was the one who finally broke the kiss, needing to get control over the situation before he came in his pants. “Fuck, you are so sexy,” he told her softly.
Erin blushed, but smiled at him. “I like kissing you.”
“And I like you kissing me,” Conor reassured her. His eyes dropped to her shirt. “And I like seeing this.” He ran the back of his hand over her erect nipple, clearly visible under her T-shirt. She inhaled sharply and her head dropped to look at her chest.
“Oh,” she gasped and brought a hand up to cover her breast. “I didn’t realize…I’ve never…” Her voice dropped off in confusion at seeing her body’s reaction to his touch.
Conor reminded himself that she was new to all this. What he really wanted to do was shove his hand under her shirt and feel that erect nipple on his bare skin, but he refrained. He hugged her to him, and sighed in relief when her hands rounded his back and returned his embrace.
“It’ll go down,” he tried to reassure her.
“I’m not sure it will when all I can think of is how good I feel when I kiss you.”
Conor groaned. “This obviously wasn’t the best idea, because the last thing I want is for you to go back behind the bar and have every pervert in the place checking out my woman’s tits.”
Erin giggled and pulled back. “It’s your fault. If you weren’t so sexy, I wouldn’t get so excited.”
Conor rolled his eyes, then looked back down at her. “When do you get off tonight?”
“Midnight. Since it’s Tuesday, the boss is letting me go home before closing because we’re not that busy.”
“I’d like to stay and make sure you get home all right,” Conor said.
“Really?” Her head tilted.
“Yeah.”
“I can get home by myself. I’ve been doing it a long time.”
“I know.”
She looked at him with an unreadable expression on her face, then smiled. “I’d like that. I’ve never had someone be that concerned about me before.”
“Well, now you have me.”
“Yeah, now I have you,” she echoed, looking extremely pleased.
“Erin! Break’s over!” her boss yelled from the end of the hallway.
“Coming!” she hollered back. Taking a step away from Conor, she asked, “Do I look okay?”
“You look amazing,” Conor replied automatically. And she did. She might be conservative in how she dressed, but it didn’t stop his imagination.
Erin gave him a small smile, then backed away and headed down the hall to do her job.
Conor sauntered out after her and went back to the table with his friends.
“You are so whipped,” Dax commented as Conor settled himself into his chair.
“Yup,” he agreed.
“It’s good to see, man,” Cruz said.
“Welcome to the club,” Quint added.
“You guys are kinda pathetic,” TJ said as he took a sip of his beer.
“You won’t think that when you find your own woman,” Dax told him.
“What if I already found her?” TJ fired back.
Everyone stared at him in shock.
“You’re dating someone?” Dax asked.
TJ sighed and shook his head. “No. I fucked up. Found someone who liked me just as I was. Even with my anger issues and dealing with shit from that last tour I’d been on…she didn’t seem to care. Then I fucked it up. Left. Thought she’d be better off without me.”
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