Her chest tightened. She had never asked him about his time working for the crown. It was as much her fault as his that she knew nothing of what he’d endured.
He took her hand from the chest wound. “A woman, but long before I met you.”
“You could have been killed.”
“More than once.” He kissed her fingers before releasing her hand.
She trailed her hand along a rough patch of skin above his hip that stretched all the way to his ribs.
“Dragged by a horse after being shot in France. I am not certain who the shooter was.”
She moved around to his back and touched a round puckered mark on his right shoulder blade.
“The bullet that knocked me from the horse. Might have finished me, but the shooter must have been too far away.”
“Michael, why did you let them do this to you?” She touched another long, stretched-out scar across the middle of his back, imagining a whip or long knife that made the mark.
“It is what the enemy does, my love. I didn’t let them, on those days they hurt me, but on most days it was the other way around.”
“Not them.” She swallowed down the tightness clogging her throat. “England. Why did you work for England for so long? Why did you put yourself through all of this pain?”
His laugh was ragged and humorless. He pulled her back around to face him again. “To be honest, I really don’t know anymore.” He touched her face as if she were a fragile flower. “When I was young, I joined the service to escape my father. Later, I stayed away and tried to distinguish myself so that people would look upon Rollins name with more than pity or loathing. As to why I took that last assignment—I wanted one last moment of glory. It was selfish, childish, and I have never regretted anything more in my life. Except for the day that your father came to see me while I was still recovering. I should have held my ground, Elinor. I should have made him honor our contract. Forgive me.”
He cupped her cheek.
Part of her wanted to rail at him for allowing this to happen, and the rest wanted to coddle him until all his pain faded. She turned her head and kissed his palm. “He should have waited to see you. My father’s arrogance since becoming an earl has escalated to the point that he is unbearable. He had no right to confront you before you were well. I forgive you, Michael, but I do not know if I can forgive him.”
His mouth tipped up in a crooked smile. “He was only trying to protect you. Even if his motives were financial, they were still in your best interest. Let this pass, Elinor. Once we are married, none of it will matter.”
She sighed, pushing back the anger she harbored against her father. There would be another time to deal with him. “You are right, though it won’t be that easy. He has a lot to answer for.”
“Do you really want to talk about your father?” He raised his eyebrows.
She looked down at his naked body. His shaft stuck out straight from his hips, only inches away from her center. Her stomach tightened and her core tingled. Still, worry invaded. “No, not really, but Michael, your headaches.”
He looked away from her for a moment before refocusing. “I feel fine. I think perhaps you are a better doctor than all those experts. I should have listened to you.”
Boldly, she slipped the shoulders of her nightgown down. The white cotton shift puddled around her feet. She yearned for his touch. Her breasts ached with want.
He grazed the sensitive peak, following with his mouth. He pulled her nipple into his mouth, giving pleasure with just a touch of pain.
The attention pushed a moan from her lips that transformed into his name. Pleasure shot down her body and culminated between her thighs.
Pulling with his lips, he brought the little bud to a harder peak, and she gripped his head to pull him closer.
Everywhere he touched her sent new sensations through her body.
His hands were on her bottom, and he pulled her hard against him, bringing his cock to the place where she most needed him. His shaft slid between her nether-lips, and the delight made her lose her balance.
Elinor grabbed his shoulders for support as he slid forward and back, again and again, causing the air in her lungs to rush out. She gasped for more.
He walked her backward until she once again leaned against the bed. Then he knelt before her and pressed his tongue between her folds.
On fire, she arched her back. The entire world collapsed into this one moment with only the two of them. She parted for him longing for more.
He renewed his efforts, teasing at first, but then taking the hard bud in his mouth and sucking hard until she quivered.
Nothing had ever been more wonderful or more intimate. Every sense heightened. Nothing mattered, everything mattered. She was lost in him.
He lifted one of her legs so that it rested over his shoulder, then did the same with the other. He lifted her bottom until she was perched at the edge of the mattress. His tongue swirled and lapped, and his lips sucked gently, then harder.
Lightning shot through her and soared around her. Nothing was stable. The earth shook, and she bit her lip so as not to scream out and wake the household. Tension built at her center, tighter and higher.
His thumb slid inside her.
The world exploded before her eyes. Waves of pleasure flooded every inch of her body, which she no longer even recognized as her own. She clenched around his finger.
He muttered something she thought might have been “magnificent,” but she was too caught up in her own pleasure to be sure.
She came to her senses in the middle of the bed. Michael was next to her with his head resting on his hand, and he smiled down at her with the most pleased smile on his face.
“Is something funny?”
“Two things are making me exceedingly happy.” He trailed his fingers along her stomach to her breast.
She leaned up on her elbow and faced him. “What two things?”
Touching her from below her breast to her hip, he skimmed down her leg and up again. “The first is that you are the most magnificent woman in England. You respond like a siren. It is very gratifying to love you.”
While her body called for more of his touch, her cheeks heated. “How can you say such a thing when you have not even taken your pleasure yet?”
“I say it because it is true, Elinor. And I shall never take my pleasure as you call it. We will give and receive pleasure together.”
Her heart exploded with joy. She likely grinned stupidly. “Will you show me how to please you, Michael?”
“You already do please me.”
She cocked her head and looked down his body. His shaft still stood erect between them, and she traced the bulging vein along the side.
He sucked in his breath.
“I think you know what I mean.” She surprised herself with her boldness. In fact, she didn’t recognize this wanton version either.
“What you are doing now is very pleasing.” His breath grew short and fast.
Emboldened by his words and reaction, she wrapped her hand around him and squeezed softly.
He moaned and put his hand over hers, gently moving up and down in a steady rhythm.
His eyes closed and his head lolled back against the pillow.
“Beautiful” was the only way to describe him. Every inch of him, even the broken parts, were stunning, rugged, and made her long to kiss every inch.
He had given her pleasure with his mouth. She leaned down and ran her tongue along his shaft.
His breath was quickening, and he groaned.
Bolder, she traced the tip, sucking him. It was amazing, but he grew harder.
His eyes flew open, and he sat up. Grabbing her by the shoulders, he rolled her over and pinned her beneath him.
“Did I do something wrong, Michael?”
With a short laugh, he devoured her mouth. “Far too right, love. It has been a long time, and I cannot wait any longer for you.”
He pressed against her opening and she stiffened. Arms at her side, eyes closed, mouth clenched, she waited for his intrusion. She had seen farm animals copulate, and the female never seemed pleased with the process.
“Elinor.”
“Yes.”
“Open your eyes, please.”
When she did, Michael’s beautiful face strained above hers.
He held still. “I would like it if you would try to relax. I will not hurt you more than is necessary, and it will only be this first time. After that, it will never hurt again.”
“Really?”
“I promise. Will you trust me?”
She wanted to trust him. It had been ages since she had. She nodded.
“Then relax and put your hands on me.”
“Where?” she asked.
A joy filled smile spread across his face and lit his eyes. “Anywhere. My shoulders would be sufficient.”
She did as he asked, looking into his striking blue eyes, and knew he wouldn’t hurt her. She relaxed and parted her legs for him.
The tip of him stretched her, but the sensation wasn’t unpleasant. In fact, once again her center tightened. She lifted her hips, pulling him in deeper. Pleasure surged through her.
“My love, I am sorry.” He plunged the full length into her.
Burning pain flashed through her.
Michael froze in place.
The pain subsided, leaving in its place an ache of a different kind. Her body stretched to accommodate his size. She lifted her hips to him tentatively, and when he didn’t move, she did it again.
This time he met her thrust. The base of his shaft rubbed her in such a way the pleasure built again.
Michael’s breathing quickened, but he controlled his urgency and moved his body in and out of hers with languid strokes.
She lifted her hips to meet him, crying out with each thrust.
“My god, Elinor, you are magnificent. More wonderful than I could have even dreamed.”
She tried to respond, but her words were stifled by the building pressure that was seconds from exploding. “I…I…Michael…”
Gripping his shoulders until her nails bit into his flesh, the orgasm engulfed her.
He crushed his lips to hers as her release came in a wash of feeling and emotion. Tears streamed down her face at the beauty of everything they did together.
Michael arched his back, groaning. His face a mask of pleasure, he collapsed on top of her.
Both in a mist of perspiration, he wrapped his arms around her.
Her body ached wonderfully. Sophia had told her that the marital act was nothing to be afraid of, but she hadn’t expected such rapture.
He kept still.
Had his headache returned? “Michael? Are you all right?”
He rolled over onto his side taking her with him. His eyes had turned a deeper blue than she had ever seen. Smiling, he kissed her nose, her cheek, then her chin. “I am more than all right. It is more important to know how you are, sweetheart.”
She blushed, wishing she could hide away, but there was nowhere else to look but into those piercing blue eyes. “I am fine.”
“Fine.” He leaned up on his elbow, wincing.
“I had not expected this to be so intimate.”
“Are you embarrassed?” He kissed her cheek.
“I am too satisfied to be embarrassed.”
“Good.” Pressing his tongue to the seam of her lips, he encouraged her to open for him.
She did and sighed with pleasure as their tongues slipped together. Wrapping her arms around him, she wished the moment could never end.
With one last kiss, Michael got out of bed and crossed the room.
“Where are you going?” Panic pounded in her chest.
“I am coming right back. Relax, sweetheart.”
When he returned, he carried a cloth. Gently he pressed her knees apart and wiped the damp material along her thighs, stomach, and between her legs.
She gasped at the new intimacy. The coolness was both shocking and soothing.
“I can do that myself.”
“Shhh. It is my honor.”
He focused on her body as if he were washing a queen. The hands of a soldier, they were more gentle than she’d expected. It was a kind of worship, the way he attended her. Satisfied, he leaned over and pressed his lips to the center of her belly before crossing to the basin with the towel. He returned to the bed. “I am afraid the sheets will be telling. I hope your maid can be trusted.”
Elinor’s face was burning up. “I will speak to her. It will be fine.”
He pulled the sheet over them and pressed against her side. Another wince shot across his face and was gone a second later. Gently, he combed the hair out of her eyes with his fingers. “You should sleep now. You must be tired.”
“Actually, I feel rather wonderful. Will you stay with me?”
“Until the sun forces me back to my own room, sweetheart. If it were up to me, we would be married in the morning and I would never leave your side.” A twitch flicked in his jaw.
She smiled. “That would be nice. Are you in pain, Michael?”
With a sigh, he pulled her tighter until her cheek pressed to his chest. “It is nothing like in the orangery, but I do have a slight headache. It will pass.”
“Maybe this was a bad idea.” Their lovemaking injured him. Sorrow suffocated her.
Pressing her back to the mattress, Michael gazed into her eyes with the intensity of a man going off to war. “This was the best night of my life. Please don’t wish it away, Elinor. I love you. If I have to bear a slight headache to love you, it is no sacrifice.”
Catching her breath, she ran her fingers through his tousled curls. “I just want our life together to be perfect, Michael.”
“It will be, after we are married.” He eased back onto the mattress, pulling her with him so that she lay against his side.
She traced a long scar along his hip. “It will not be easy to convince my mother to allow the marriage. She is keen on Middleton.”
Every muscle tightened, and he pulled his lips into a straight line. “I will have you as my wife, Elinor, even if that means that we have to elope.”
Another scandal would ruin her, even if she was married to a duke. They would receive no invitations and become notorious. She couldn’t tolerate the idea. “Elope? No. I will convince her. If I need to, I will implore Middleton to retract his offer and back off from his courting. He is a good man, and he is already aware of my feeling for you. I think he would do as I ask.”
“Perhaps, but I warn you, Elinor, if it comes to Middleton or me, I will snatch you up and haul you off to Scotland.”
“That is romantic, but not very practical.” Intending to be severe, she wished she could wipe the grin from her face. She was so happy, she couldn’t stop smiling. Her cheeks ached with it.
As she did each evening, she recounted her day. Normally there would be a list, in the way some people kept a diary. She hadn’t had time to make her list yet and considered getting up to do so. However, the feel of Michael next to her and his arms around her was too delicious to let end. “What did you do today, Michael? You didn’t attend the picnic, so what did you do after you finished spying on Middleton and me?”
“Spying is a bit harsh. I was protecting you.”
She stared at him until he laughed.
Kissing the top of her head, he shrugged. “I went down to the mouth of the creek and found the boys. We went swimming. It was the first time the three of us have ever had the chance to just be brothers. I was a man by the time they were old enough to play with. A shame, really, but today made up for quite a lot of missed opportunities. We had a wonderful time splashing about. They are both fine boys and will be good men, I think. No thanks to me.”
Elinor turned to look at his face. “Are you mad?”
“Why would you say that?”
&
nbsp; “You have set them an example for their entire lives. Do you think they used your father’s example of what a man should be? They have been watching you since they were born and setting their caps at being men who will make you proud. You are entirely responsible for the type of men they will become, Michael.”
His eyes were wide and teary. “I had not thought of that. I just felt I had missed their entire childhoods and had neglected them.”
She nodded. “You may have missed them, Michael, but they have not missed you. They followed every step of your career. They know every battle you fought and every honor you’ve been awarded. I sincerely hope you will get more chances to splash around with them. I agree that they are fine boys.”
“Perhaps they can summer with us once we are married. We can go to the borderlands and enjoy the cooler weather of Scotland. I am the Duke of Kerburghe, after all.”
Loving the idea of the future together, joy welled up inside her. “Yes, you are, and we will have to make certain that my mother hears that quite often over the next few days before you go to her with your offer.”
“Sophia has enlisted her aunt for just that purpose,” he said.
She rolled her eyes. “I know. Lady Collington brings it up at any opportunity.”
“You do not think that’s enough to sway your mother?”
“I am not sure anything will, to be honest.” Mother’s adoration of Middleton knew no boundaries.
“Perhaps we should enlist a few more of our friends to the task.”
“Perhaps, but do not get overconfident. We need a plan.”
“Why don’t you make her a list?”
Her brows drew together. “First of all, there is nothing wrong with lists. They are helpful tools in both remembering and decision-making. Second, that is not really a bad idea. My mother is very responsive to lists. I shall give it some thought.”
He kissed her brow. “You are quite adorable when you are angry with me. I am respectful of your list-making, Elinor.”
It was likely a lie, but it did sound nice.
“I am. You always make the right decision. You are here with me now.”
“I had no time for a list this evening.”
He touched her nose playfully. “But I know that keen mind of yours was busy making all kinds of lists. You just didn’t have time to write them down.”
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