Mahu m-1

by Neil S. Plakcy

  PLATE LUNCHES

  I woke early Friday morning in a fit of nerves, startled out of a dream involving Wayne Gallagher. It began when I was surfing on Waikiki, holding Danny Gonsalves above my head as my board knifed the water. On the beach, Terri was crying, Tico Robles there comforting her, promising I would never hurt her son.

  Then I was back in my room at my parents’ house, making love to Wayne on my narrow twin bed, when my father came into the room. He was disappointed, he said, because he and Uncle Chin were lovers and he wanted me to have picked Derek over Wayne. That’s when I woke up.

  I looked for the newspaper but it hadn’t arrived yet, so I began cleaning my apartment, putting away books, organizing the laundry. I didn’t want to think about my hearing, and what I would say. I was entitled to have a lawyer present, but I’d made no moves toward hiring one. I thought idly of asking Tim Ryan to defend me, but I knew that was a bad idea.

  Finally I heard the thunk of the paper on the concrete outside, and I brought it in and read it sitting up in bed. I made myself chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast, with coconut macadamia syrup, and then cleaned up all the dishes and pans. I was trying to figure out what to do next when the phone rang.

  “Good morning, Kimo,” my father said. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”

  “I’ve been up for hours.”

  “I remember when you were a boy you could sleep until noon. I used to tell your brothers to drag you out of bed, and one would take one leg and the other the other leg.” He laughed. “You’d hold on to the sheets, and everything would end up a big mess.”

  “I remember,” I said dryly. “What’s up?”

  “Did you get a chance to speak to Chin’s grandson?”

  “I did.” I told him about my meeting with Derek the day before. “He acted like a jerk. I don’t want to see Uncle Chin get hurt.”

  “Chin is a grown man. He can take care of himself. Come here for lunch today, and you can tell him.”

  “I’ve got a lot to do,” I said, even though I couldn’t think of one thing I had to do before I showed up at the Boardwalk as a decoy.

  “No matter, you’ll make the time. Be here at noon.”

  I was annoyed. Usually he let my mother make such calls, relied on her strength to enforce what he wanted. Couldn’t they keep their roles straight? “All right.”

  At least then I only had to kill the morning. I kept walking around my tiny apartment wondering what I could do, and then caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I could use a haircut, I thought, so I called Tico Robles, and he said he could squeeze me in if I could get to his salon in half an hour.

  The first strip shopping center my father built was on Wai‘alae Avenue, at the base of St. Louis Heights, not far from our house. Though he’s had many offers to sell it, over the years, he has held on to it for what I consider purely sentimental reasons, though I have to admit it’s always fully leased and the parking lot there is usually jammed. About three years ago Tatiana, unbeknownst to Haoa, bankrolled Tico in a salon of his own, out of money her parents had left her. She convinced my father to rent him a small space in the Wai‘alae Avenue center, at a bargain rate, and he prospered.

  The center was so busy I had to park my truck on a side street, and then walk almost the full length of it to the salon, passing a dry cleaner, video rental store, lawyer’s office, real estate agency, pack and ship place, and greeting card store before I got to Tico’s salon, Puerto Peinado. They’d huddled over the name for weeks, finally coming up with a tribute to Tico’s homeland of Puerto Rico and the Spanish word for hairdo. They’d hired a young artist Tico was dating to paint tropical murals in bright colors on the walls, exotic visions of a Puerto Rico that looked suspiciously like Oahu, and when I walked in there was fast Latin music playing and Tico was doing a merengue with an elderly Chinese woman.

  He looked totally recovered, except for a slight bruise on his forehead just below the hairline, almost completely covered by a swoop of brown hair I suspected he had gelled in place. “Kimo! Sweetheart!” he said when I walked in. He dipped the old lady, then expertly swung her into a chair and plopped the old-fashioned hair-dryer down over her head. He tripped lightly across the salon floor and gave me a big hug. “I’m so glad you came in! I’ve been dying to see what I could do with your hair since you came to see me in the hospital.”

  He ushered me to a chair in front of a basin at the back of the salon, talking the whole time. “Now wasn’t that a dismal place,” he said. “I mean, really, who decorates those places? They should be shot! I was so eager to get out of there.”

  “Maybe that’s why they decorate them that way,” I said, as he swirled a plastic cape around my shoulders. “So you’ll want to get well and leave quickly.”

  “Lean back,” he commanded. He washed my hair quickly and expertly, leaving it smelling faintly of coconut and strawberries, and then led me to his chair, in the front window of the salon. “Now I will work my magic,” he said. He leaned down and whispered in my ear, “When I’m finished with you, the boys will fall all over you!”

  “Just one boy in particular,” I said, thinking of Wayne Gallagher.

  “Oh, Kimo has a boyfriend,” he said as he started to cut. “Dish, baby. Tell Uncle Tico all about him.”

  “Not a boyfriend, a suspect. Although he is cute, even though I know he’s bad all the way through.”

  “Oh, they’re the worst,” he said. “My weakness. I love a bad boy.” In the mirror I saw him shake his head. “Except eventually they end up being bad to you. But while it works, it can be so wonderful!”

  We went on to talk about Tatiana and Haoa and their children. “They’re angels,” Tico said. “Every last one of them. Angels from heaven. They all take after Tatiana, you know that.”

  “I thought you weren’t mad at my brother anymore.”

  “Oh, I forgave him. Do you know, yesterday he came to my house and planted a whole row of hibiscus bushes, just for nothing? I tried to thank him and all he said was, ‘You needed a hedge out front to shelter the yard.’ I mean, do you believe it? He just can’t say he’s sorry, but he means it.”

  “Tell me about it. What he did to you last week, he did to me for at least ten years, until I got big enough to fight back. He and Lui would just whale on me whenever they thought they could get away with it. And even when our parents caught them, red-handed, they didn’t care. They’d take their punishment, and start right in on me again.”

  “Poor baby.”

  “Sometimes I don’t understand why I love them so much.”

  “Your family will always be with you,” Tico said. “When you have no one else to turn to, you can always go to them.”

  I nodded, and he pulled my head back up straight. “I saw that this week, for sure.”

  He worked for a while longer, then styled and combed and moussed and by the time he was done even I was surprised at how handsome I was. I’d never been that vain about my looks-I figured it’s all genetics. I was lucky to get the best features my Irish, Hawaiian and Japanese ancestors had, and to have them put together in a way that people found attractive. I kept up my body and I stood up straight, and I didn’t worry about the rest. But what Tico had done had pulled something out of me I’d never thought I had.

  “If I were twenty years younger,” Tico said. “You’d have to beat me off with a stick.”

  “I might still have to. You’re not ready for Social Security yet.”

  Tico laughed. “The man I see is fifty-one. Two years younger than I am. On Saturday nights we go out to the clubs to watch, not to dance. By midnight we’re yawning and we go home and go to bed.” He grinned. “Though not right to sleep.”

  I tried to pay for the haircut but he wouldn’t let me. “Lock up a bad guy for me,” he said. “Then I’ll consider us even.”

  From Tico’s I drove up to my parents’ house, feeling stronger and readier for action than I had in weeks. When my mother saw my truck pull up in the driveway b
ehind Uncle Chin’s Cadillac, she came out to greet me. “Ai ya!” she said. “My handsome son! You got a new haircut.”

  “Yeah, looks good,” I said, leaning down to kiss her.

  “You make me feel like such a frumpy old lady. My handsome husband, my beautiful sons, and me.”

  “You’ll always be the most beautiful woman in the world to me.” I nodded toward my father, who stood in the doorway. “And I know someone else who thinks so.”

  She blushed. “You boys. How did I raise such boys as you? Come on inside, lunch is almost ready.”

  My father led me back to the porch, where Uncle Chin and Aunt Mei-Mei sat drinking iced tea, and we made small talk while my mother put the finishing touches on plate lunches, the kind of food her mother had prepared for her father as he worked in the fields. Tender, spicy teriyaki steak and two scoops of rice, and fruit salad with fresh pineapple, mango, papaya and melon.

  At the table we talked lightly, about the project my father was bidding on, a Chinese wedding the Chins had attended the night before, my mother’s orchids. “And tonight all my grandchildren come for barbecue,” my mother said proudly. “Ai ya, all afternoon I have to cook. Each one likes something different, and each one wants his favorite. Tutu Lokelani, why you no make those sweet potatoes I like? You don’t love me anymore? Tutu Lokelani, you no make mango bread for me? Your mango bread so ono.” She shook her head. “It’s easier to do the cooking than listen to them complain!”

  Uncle Chin and Aunt Mei-Mei nodded in agreement, and I felt sad for them that they had no children of their own, no grandchildren, and all they could have now would be Derek Pang, who would certainly not bring little children of his own into the world. Aunt Mei-Mei helped my mother clear the table, and then they retreated into the kitchen to clean up and cook for dinner.

  “Your father tells me you met with my grandson,” Uncle Chin said, sitting back in his chair.

  I nodded. “I’m sorry to have to say he’s not a very nice person. Not really a proper grandson for such a kind grandfather as you.”

  Uncle Chin smiled. “Many people Chinatown tell you I not so nice, either,” he said. “Say apple not fall far from tree.”

  I said, “You know his name is Derek, and he’s twenty-five years old. He and his,” here I hesitated, not sure what term to use, “partner are running the Rod and Reel Club now. I told him about you, and he remembered meeting you, but his father never told him your relationship. He said he’s willing to meet with you.”

  Uncle Chin smiled, and I could see the relief in his face. Derek Pang didn’t deserve him as a grandfather. But then again, Derek hadn’t gotten much fathering from Tommy, and maybe Uncle Chin might be a good influence on him. And, I had to admit, Uncle Chin was probably a much worse criminal than I knew, and maybe their joint malfeasance would be a place of intersection for them. Derek might end up with a record longer than his father’s or his grandfather’s.

  I passed on Derek’s phone number. “Too soon I call him tonight?” Uncle Chin asked. “Give him more time think, maybe?”

  The wheels clicked in my brain. Putting Uncle Chin and Derek together tonight would leave Wayne free to meet me at the Boardwalk. “Tonight would be good,” I said.

  “Everybody’s busy tonight,” my father said. “You, and Lui, and Haoa are together tonight, aren’t you?”

  “What do you mean?”

  He narrowed his eyes at me. “Liliha and Tatiana are coming here with their kids tonight because Haoa and Lui are having a boy’s night out. It must involve you, too.”

  I didn’t say anything. “I want to come with you,” my father said. “I know you’re all up to something. They’re going to help you get your job back, aren’t they?”

  The last thing I wanted was my father in Haoa’s van listening to me and Wayne making out as I tried to get him to confess. “Not at all. We’re going out for a few drinks, that’s all. Just to make things better between us.”

  “I could come too. Make sure you’d don’t end up in jail again.”

  “You have to be here, ready to bail us out.” I paused. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep them in line. You stay here with your grandchildren. Imagine how they would complain if Tutu Al weren’t here.”

  He wasn’t happy, but I had no intention of telling him what we were up to, and I hoped my brothers had as much sense. It was almost three by then, so I begged off and drove back down to Waikiki, where I went through my wardrobe looking for something to wear. I was no fool; I knew what looked good on me. Pale colors like pink, light blue and yellow went well with my coloring. I had a narrow waist and broad shoulders, so I liked to wear tightly fitted shirts that showed off my physique. But nothing I took out of the closet seemed to work. Everything was too baggy, or too faded, or just didn’t feel right. My wardrobe needed a major makeover.

  So I walked down to the Clark’s on Kalakaua Avenue. I tried on a dozen different shirts, finally settling on a pink oxford-cloth button-down that made me look younger and preppier. It was a size too small, and with the top three buttons down and my chest threatening to burst through, it even looked a little sexy. I picked up a pair of white painter’s pants that fit snugly, particularly across the crotch, and yet had plenty of pockets in case I wanted to carry anything. I stood in front of the mirror, closed my eyes, and thought about Wayne Gallagher.

  It didn’t take much for my penis to swell up, and I looked at it in profile, easily outlined against my thigh. That’ll do, I thought, though it made me nervous to think how easily I could get excited by a guy who had bad news written all over him. I charged it all on my Clark’s revolving charge, and took the shopping bag with me as I walked back out to Kalakaua Avenue, where I nearly ran into Jimmy Ah Wong.

  “Detective!” he said, surprised. He looked the same-the coxcomb of bright yellow hair, Smashing Pumpkins t-shirt and flip flops.

  “Hi, Jimmy. How’s it going?”

  He nodded. “It’s okay.” He motioned me with his head, off to a more secluded spot back in from the street. Though it was bright and sunny, back under the trees on this little plaza it was cooler and shady. We sat down on a concrete bench. “I took your advice. I went to the gay teen center today.”

  “Good. How’d it go?”

  “I liked it. The people there were pretty cool.” Then he looked down at the ground, and spoke softly. “He came back to the store on Wednesday,” he said. “Wayne. He knew I would be there by myself. I told him I didn’t want to do anything with him anymore, but then he got down on his knees and he-he sucked me, and it felt so good, I didn’t know what to do. I knew I needed help so I came here.”

  “Good for you. Don’t worry about Wayne. I’m going to take care of him.”

  “I don’t know what you can do.” He looked up at me and there were tears in his eyes. “I think I might be in love with him.”

  I put my arm around him. “I know it’s hard at your age,” I said, “but try and be careful not to confuse love with lust. Just because you want to be with somebody, because you want to have sex with him, doesn’t mean you’re in love with him.” I pulled back and looked at him. “Can I tell you a secret?”

  He nodded. “I think he’s pretty sexy myself. I mean, I haven’t done anything with him, but I’m not sure I could resist.” I pulled a tissue out of my pocket and wiped his eyes. “So don’t feel bad about the way you feel, okay?”

  “I’ll try. Will you let me know if you ever arrest him?”

  “You’ll hear,” I said. “Oh, yeah, you’ll hear.”

  BOYS’ NIGHT OUT

  I gave Jimmy Ah Wong my home phone number and cell number, and told him to call me if he ran into any trouble with Wayne, or if he just wanted to talk. Heading down Kalakaua, I saw Officer Saunders approaching me with a big grin on his face.

  “Well, well, well, if it isn’t ex-Detective Dicksucker,” he said.

  “What’s your problem, Saunders?” He was wearing street clothes, and I guessed he was heading to the station for the start
of his shift. “I ever do anything to you?”

  “Guess I just don’t like faggots on the force.” He leaned in close to me. “I’m glad they booted your ass out. I hope you end up running security for some shopping mall, rent-a-cop with a little go-cart. Then you can pull your carpet-muncher buddies over for a quickie in somebody’s back seat, out in the mall parking lot.”

  “You’ve given this a lot of thought,” I said. “Sounds like you’re the one with the problem. You having wet dreams about guys sucking your cock?”

  “You asshole. You pervert that badge you used to wear.”

  “You’re not on duty yet, are you, Saunders?”

  “I was on second watch. I got off duty at three-fifteen.”

  “Good.” I punched him in the eye, knowing I could blacken it easily. “Then you can’t say I assaulted a police officer,” I said, as he went reeling backwards. “Unless of course you want to cry about the fairy who gave you the black eye.”

  My hand started to throb, but I didn’t care. I brushed past Saunders and headed for home. “You haven’t heard the last of this, faggot!” he called after me.

  I smiled all the way home, despite the pain in my hand, imagining the excuses he would come up with for sporting a shiner. He was more flab than muscle and more bark than bite, and everybody knew it. His tiny Chinese wife was really the one who wore the pants in the family. I figured there’d be a lot of snickering at the station, guys asking if his wife had given him the black eye. Good. He’d been talking stink about me; now he’d be the butt of fun.

  I decided to change into my new clothes before going over to Harry’s to help set up the equipment. I stripped down to my Gap boxers, printed with tropical fish, then poured myself into the too-tight pants and shirt. When I was finished, I admired the results in the mirror.