by Alex Kidwell
Only it was gone now. All of it. Knievel had been sitting on the table when he’d gotten home, next to the whistle Redford had left behind, glaring at him like this was all his fault. Which it was. All of it.
“He’s going to wake up, right?” Raising his head, Jed whispered the words, voice cracking slightly. Everything he knew was failing to keep him steady in the face of Redford, so frail under the sheets, pale and unmoving and utterly silent. Jed’s hands were knotted together so tightly it hurt, like that was the only thing keeping him in one piece. David glanced over at him and then back at the newspaper he’d rescued, lifting one shoulder in a shrug.
“Of course he is. He’s still breathing,” Victor said dryly. Then, after a pause of hesitation, he looked at David. “Jed really doesn’t know about—” He broke off to make an odd motion at David, and then one at his own neck.
“No, dear,” David replied, turning the page, lips unusually tight. “And I doubt it matters. That is not what he wrenched us out of bed yesterday evening for, and it is not what we’re being paid to do. Jed and I have a business relationship, nothing more. Isn’t that right, Journey?”
“Call me that one more time and I’m filling your pert little ass with a grenade, sans the pin,” Jed grumbled, scrubbing his hands across his face. “And the answer is no, thank you, I am not paying you for information on whatever kinky little sex game secret you two play. I don’t need any tips on Hide the Sausage.”
“From the look of your general frustration, perhaps you do,” Victor noted idly, leaning across to read the article David was looking at. “Go check on your werewolf. He’s beginning to stir.”
Shit. Leaning over Redford, hands fluttering uselessly for a moment before they settled to gently tuck Redford’s hair back behind his ears. “Hey,” Jed whispered thickly. “Welcome back.”
“Jed?” Redford’s eyes opened slowly, moving over Jed before settling on David and Victor, fear still lurking in his eyes. He inhaled deeply, and his eyes slammed closed again. Redford shifted on the bed, curling himself up into a tight huddle. He’d met David and Victor before, but they were still unfamiliar, it seemed.
Immediately shoving his way onto the bed next to him, hauling Redford into his arms, Jed did his level best to surround him with nothing but gentle touches, strength and security. He was the last fucking person on the planet to give him any of those things, but this was all he had at the moment. “It’s okay,” Jed said lowly. “It’s all right. I got you back. You’re home.”
“You left,” Redford repeated, his voice quiet and shaky, but the accusation didn’t stop him from clinging to Jed with a bruising grip. Guilt, sour and viscous, curdled in Jed’s throat, bitter on the back of his tongue.
“Yeah,” he agreed heavily. “I did.” What else could he say? There weren’t many explanations, and the ones he did have he was pretty sure wouldn’t help. All he could do was hold Redford closer, curled up against the headboard, Redford sprawled across his lap.
David caught the look Jed gave him and stood with a stretch. “Since you so rudely and frantically called me at an ungodly hour yesterday, I think that I will take this moment on your dime to have a quick nap before the fireworks start. Vicky, why don’t you and I head back to my place? I think we can afford a few hours of rest.”
“A nap?” Victor just snorted, taking the teapot and cups back into the kitchen. “You don’t nap, David. Just say it straight and announce that we’re going back to your place to have a lot of sex.”
“I was trying to be subtle. Virgin ears around and all that.” With a wink at Redford, David slipped his hand into Victor’s back pocket, happily groping his ass as they swooped out of the doorway, smirking at the resulting exasperated sigh from Victor. Jed let out a slow breath of relief at the quiet they left behind. Too many people in his house, lately. He wasn’t used to it.
Redford, though, seemed just right.
“I left,” Jed said again, slowly, rubbing his thumb along Redford’s temple. “So did you.”
“I tried to clean so that you wouldn’t have to think about me when you got back,” Redford said softly, relaxing now that there were two less people in the apartment. He inhaled, like he was trying to think of something more meaningful to say, before he winced a little. “I’m getting blood on your bed.”
“So we’ll wash the sheets.” Jed breathed out a broken little laugh, sounding almost hysterical, eyes wide as he ducked his head to try and get Redford to look at him. “Did you really think god-damned dusting was going to erase you from my memory? Jesus, Red, I went nuts. I actually went fucking insane trying to find you. I looked everywhere I could think of, hit everyone who even looked like they might have at one point and time known someone named Fil, and when that didn’t work, I called up David at one in the morning and offered him half a million dollars for a breadcrumb.” Jaw tight, he shuddered out a low exhale, forcing his voice back from the loud, cracking edge it’d been on.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you if I was on fire,” he finished, softly this time, so quietly the words barely made it past his lips. Fingers shaking a little, he draped the whistle back around Redford’s neck. Next to it, though, was a new addition, clinking quietly as they settled against Redford’s chest. Jed’s dog tags lay next to the whistle, looped on the chain. “So you don’t get lost.”
He caught a glimmer in Redford’s eyes, looking a little too shiny to be properly composed, before the other man buried his face under Jed’s chin. “Thank you for finding me,” came a mumble against his shirt. “I thought… I thought I’d never get out. That you’d never come.”
Holding on tightly, that burn in his throat making it hard to talk, Jed just shook his head. “I’ll always come. Got that, Fido? I am a son of a bitch, and I’m not worth much of anything. The only damn thing I can promise you is that I will always come. Okay?”
“Okay.” Redford nodded against his chest and lifted his head. The renewed trust in his eyes made the ache in Jed’s throat even worse. What on God’s green earth had he ever done to earn that? Not a damn thing. Yet here was Redford, staring up at him like he was worth something. Seeing him. Jed still didn’t know what the fuck to do with that.
“’Cause if there’s anything I’m good at, it’s coming.” He tried for a leer, attempting to shove away all the heavy emotions. It was far easier to be flippant. Redford demanded too much from him. If he could just keep things at an arm’s length then maybe he wouldn’t fuck up everything to kingdom come. At least his remark was rewarded with a quiet snort from Redford.
Pulling away a little, Redford reached up to touch his fingers to his temple, grimacing faintly. “I should probably take a shower,” he sighed, looking apologetic. “I’m filthy.”
Chuckling, Jed ran his fingertips lightly along Redford’s jaw. “See? I told you that you’d get the dirty talk down.” Redford just looked mystified. Gently untangling them, Jed stood and offered him his hand. “I’d lecture you about water conservation, but somehow I don’t think this is the time. Do you need anything?”
He expected Redford to shrug, dismiss him, and walk to the shower. After all, Redford did have plenty of reasons to not be terribly happy with him. What Jed wasn’t prepared for was Redford taking his hand and tugging him into the bathroom as well. “Yes,” Redford said simply. “I need something.”
Slightly baffled, Jed was pretty sure Redford wasn’t talking about what anyone else would be. Hell, the guy missed ninety percent of the innuendo Jed lobbed at him. “Soap?” he guessed with a slightly confused smile. “Fresh towel? A sink not covered in little hairs from me shaving? I can get you one of those, maybe.”
The smile Redford gave him said you’re being a little dim. “You, Jed.” Feeling that that was adequate explanation enough, Redford braced a hand on the wall for balance, reaching out to twist the shower tap. “I need you.”
Ah. Well, far be it for him to be a selfish host. The grin that spread across his face was honestly pleased, shy on the edg
es, because Jed wasn’t sure how things like this went. For all the sex he’d had, all the lust and the need and the want, he’d never really been with anyone. Not like this. There hadn’t been one man in his life that even came close to Redford. “Thank God you’re not asking me to clean,” he answered, hesitantly tipping his chin softly, almost a question, to brush his lips against Redford’s.
“Asking you to clean would be like asking elephants to fly,” Redford pointed out, breathing a quiet laugh, returning the kiss in a brief brush of contact. His hands dipped to his shirt, eyebrows creasing as he tried to undo the buttons with an unsteady grip.
The laugh was caught in another kiss. Jed couldn’t seem to stop smiling. “We’ll have to watch Dumbo sometime,” he murmured, his fingers going up to join Redford’s, shucking off his shirt and letting it drop to the floor. Jed’s followed, the T-shirt tugged off and flung away, Jed happily running his hands along those gorgeous shoulders, the slope of his chest.
There were bruises standing out like vicious reminders along Redford’s ribs. Jed paused, frowning down at them, before he ducked his head to ghost kisses along them, whispering apologies into Redford’s skin. Redford winced a little at the contact, shaking his head at Jed’s words before he tugged Jed up to kiss him. It wasn’t brief and almost chaste this time, it was deeper, longer, Redford’s hands wrapping around Jed’s shoulders to keep him close.
The water was warm. Jed could feel the faint spray against his back from the water hitting the half-open shower curtain. Eager hands fumbled with belts, and pants puddled on the floor as they kissed, each parting for breath feeling like they were dying, each renewed embrace that much hungrier. Jed backed them into the shower, laughing as he was drenched, tugging Redford in after him. “Don’t leave again,” he demanded, craving the feel of Redford wrapped around him, that safety that only existed in his arms.
“I won’t if you won’t,” Redford replied, keeping one arm wrapped around Jed’s shoulders for balance, not entirely steady on his feet. He turned, tipping his face into the water with a wince to start washing the blood off of his face, keeping in contact with Jed like he couldn’t bear to let go.
“Deal,” Jed whispered. He wondered if Redford had any idea what that meant, for him to promise that. If there was even a way Jed could explain it to him. Shit, they’d had enough trauma for one morning. Redford was still bloody and bruised. The water was hot. The shower was big enough for two, and for the first time Jed had someone he wanted to share it with. They could heart to heart later. “Here, sweetheart,” he murmured, reaching for a washcloth, wetting it under the spray. “Let me help.”
With infinite tenderness, Jed dabbed at the dried blood, examining the wound just under Redford’s hairline. “That’s not too bad,” he reassured Redford with a kiss to his cheek, brow furrowed as he concentrated. One arm was firmly looped around Redford’s waist, holding him up. “Get a little gauze on it, make sure you rest, and you’ll be right as rain in a day or so.”
“I’m not sure being naked together in the shower is resting.” Redford smiled at him, almost a fully fledged grin, that rare spark of mischievousness lighting up his eyes. “You’re distracting.”
“Good.” Jed tossed the washrag away, lightly backing Redford up against the shower wall. “That is exactly what you need, Mr. Reed. A good, old-fashioned distraction.” His fingertips wandered down Redford’s side, taking the opportunity to lightly probe his bruised ribs and ensure there wasn’t anything broken. Satisfied, he tipped Redford’s chin up to paint his tongue in circles down to the hollow of his throat. Redford’s hands fluttered for a moment before they came to rest on Jed’s shoulders, holding him closer, tugging him in for another kiss.
How was anyone that beautiful? The water was sluicing down Redford’s skin in little rivulets, pooling in the dips of his collarbone, sliding across the curve of his chest, the indentations of his stomach. The drops caught at his hips, glistening in the fine hairs above the proud line of his cock. Jed watched, fascinated, hands slipping across wet skin as he touched, as he explored. His tongue went out to catch a droplet falling from Redford’s nipple, tasting the sweet tang of his skin.
Arousal ran hot through his veins, urging him to touch more, to relearn the swoop of Redford’s lips, the curve of his jaw. They pressed together under the downpour of water, bodies tightly intertwined, hands grasping, breaths caught in moans. Redford’s fingers found Jed’s hardening cock, wrapping around taut skin, and Jed gasped, the sound lost in Redford’s mouth. His own hand closed around Redford’s dick, thumb tracing across the slit. Redford murmured something against Jed’s lips before he cut the words off, tightening his fingers around his cock instead, stroking him with slow, almost lazy movements of his hand.
“Tell me if it hurts too much,” Jed moaned breathlessly against Redford’s ear. “It’s okay, sweetheart, I just want you to feel good. God, you feel so damn good.” Redford looked at him like he’d forgotten what pain even was, eyes dark with arousal. Jesus, he was gorgeous like that.
Their hips moved in time, hands quickening as they lost themselves together in the increasing waves of pleasure. Each movement sent Jed groaning and pleading, closer and closer to that beautiful precipice. Redford’s hand was perfect, long fingers wrapped around him, stroking him harder. The water beat down on his shoulders, slicking skin, beading along Redford’s jaw.
Forever they stayed like that, suspended in pleasure, in growing ecstasy. Redford’s name tumbled from Jed’s lips in a shout as he came, as his body went rigid in a white-hot flash of arousal. His hand encouraged Redford to come with him, to throw himself into the fire. Sagging against him, mouth wide open and pressed against Redford’s shoulder, he wrapped his fingers more tightly around his cock, thumb rubbing the vein at the base, twisting his wrist just how he knew would feel best. He wanted Redford to come, to forget, for a moment, the horrors of the last day. All Jed wanted was to take all the pleasure still soaking through him, trembling in his muscles as aftershocks, and give it to Redford times three.
When Redford came, it was with a shuddered moan, and he leaned against Jed’s chest like Jed was the only thing holding him upright. Sagging back against the wall, heaving in low, shallow breaths, Jed found he was grinning. Full on, ear to ear grinning, like he was some jackass in a romantic comedy about shoes or whatever the shit those movies had in them. “God,” he groaned, running his fingers through Redford’s wet hair, tousling it back out of his face. “That was fucking amazing.”
Redford mumbled a sound of agreement against his shoulder, running his palm over Jed’s side in long, content sweeps. “I really thought showers were just for getting clean,” he said, and Jed could feel his smile against his skin.
“Not in my house.” Jed laughed, languid in the aftermath of pleasure. “We believe in water conservation and as much sex before lunch as we can get. It’s in the Jed Walker Bill of Rights.” Nipping playfully at Redford’s earlobe, he flailed out one hand to find the soap. “But since we are all about the pleasing here at casa del Walker, it’s possible I can drum up some support for your position.” A broad leer broke across his face, and he huffed another laugh, whispering in Red’s ear, “I want to know all your positions.”
Soaping up his hands, Jed left a trail of bubbles behind as he painted his palms down Redford’s arms, his chest, his sides. He washed him slowly, scattering every movement with soft, lazy kisses, with smiles buried into skin, with soft laughter lost in the rushing of water. He’d honestly never had anything like this before. There was no rush, no lead up to anything more. No one searching for their pants or running for the exit. Just gentle exploration, learning each other, sharing kisses and air and sweet words hidden in the space between them.
“I could stay here forever,” Redford murmured against him, and he’d apparently gotten bored of getting clean, far more interested in nosing along the underside of Jed’s jaw. Despite the hot water, despite the fact he’d just come, little shivers worked their way down
Jed’s spine. He closed his eyes, head tipped back, that shit stupid grin still curving up his lips.
“The shower would probably get cold,” he pointed out, voice hoarse and distracted. His hand wandered down to tease fingertips along the curve of Redford’s ass. “But maybe we could train Knievel to bring us food and beer.”
“We’d get sick from standing under cold water so long, but it could be worth it.” Redford laughed quietly, his hands contentedly sweeping over Jed’s back.
Oddly enough, Jed really did think he could stay forever. He wasn’t a steady person. Despite his homebody contentment with his apartment and his solo life, that was exactly the point. Solo. He’d never been this utterly happy to stay around one person. There wasn’t that itch to find an exit strategy, to make excuses, to kick Redford the hell out of his sanctuary. The idea of doing any of those things struck him as utter lunacy. It didn’t make any sense, but somehow the doe-eyed bastard had wormed his way in deep.
“You need to rest,” he pointed out, nuzzling a kiss in under Redford’s ear. “I should put you to bed.” Their bed. The words rose unbidden in his throat, an ache of completion he had no idea what to do with. “Our bed.” They came out. They were there all at once, undeniable. It was more terrifying than a thousand testosterone junkie werewolves could ever be. Two words and Jed could barely get a breath in, his chest was so tight. “We should… you should rest.”
Apparently he’d said something right, because Redford smiled up at him like he’d just offered to give him the moon and hang it in the apartment. Well, maybe not the moon, considering the whole werewolf thing. The sun. He was Journey Walker, the sun-giver. At least he was in Redford’s eyes, in the… the something that shone there, that drew Jed in, hooked deep into his heart and wouldn’t shake free. “Are you going to rest with me?”
“Yeah,” Jed said, voice cracking, running his thumb along Red’s jaw. “Yeah, let’s get some sleep before tonight.”