by Lucia Jordan
"I don't want to talk about it anymore," she whispered, taking his face into her hands, and pulling him down to her for a kiss. She closed her eyes and arched into him.
Despite the dread coiled in his gut, he buried it and simply enjoyed being with her in a way that was so much more intense and intimate than anything he'd ever experienced. His emotions were in disarray, but he was sure of one thing: there was no one else he'd rather be with, making love to, than Krista.
"Okay," he whispered, bringing his hand down to rest on her waist. For now, he'd concentrate on making love to her, on bringing both of them pleasure beyond their expectations. "God, being inside of you is like heaven."
"Danny, I'm gonna..." Her words trailed into a moan.
He felt her tighten painfully around him, but it didn't slow him down. If anything, it only served to increase his desire for her. No matter how fast or slow he moved within her, no matter how deeply he was buried in her walls, no matter how many times he orgasmed with her, it wasn't enough. Would it ever be enough?
*
The sound of his ringing cell phone shocked him from his memory. He didn't even bother to see who was calling. He already knew. It was Jessica again. She'd called several dozen times since last night. Danny heaved a sigh and stood. Sooner or later he was going to have to face her. It might as well be now, he thought as he left Krista's apartment for the very last time. He had no idea what he was going to tell Jessica, but he knew it wasn't going to be the truth, at least, not all of it.
The short drive back to his apartment was uneventful, except for the tears he couldn't stop from falling. He hadn't cried like this since his parents died. Wiping his face and collecting his thoughts, he opened the door to his apartment. Jessica was on the couch waiting for him. He was simultaneously happy and pissed off to see her.
"Where the hell have you been?" Jessica shouted before he even had the door closed.
He took a calming breath. "With Krista," he said, walking toward Jessica. He sat beside her.
"You spent the night with Krista?" Jessica was clearly pissed. Her green eyes were wild and her hands were clenched into fists.
"It's not what you think, Jess."
"Oh really?" She stood and crossed her arms over her chest. "You blow off our weekend vacation so that you can go talk to Krista about God knows what, you promise you'll come over as soon as you're finished, and then I don't hear a thing from you!"
He was not in the mood to do this with her right now. That was one thing about Jessica that he didn't care for; she tended to overreact and make a drama over things that weren't a big deal. Of course, this time, she had a right to act this way, but he'd never tell her that.
"Did you fuck her?" Jessica stood in front of him, a look of fear and anger in her eyes.
"Don't be ridiculous," he said, unable to meet her gaze any longer. Danny wasn't normally a liar, but these past few days, it seemed like that's all he'd done. He was lying to himself about his true feelings toward Krista. He'd lied to Krista about his feelings. And now he'd just lied to Jessica. If he didn't get his shit together soon, he was going to implode.
"Then what the hell have you been doing all night? And why haven't you answered any of my calls or texts?" Jessica plopped down on the couch next to him.
Danny put his hand on her knee and looked at her pointedly. "I spent the night trying to convince Krista not to leave. I shut my phone off. I'm sorry."
"What do you mean? Krista's leaving? Why?"
He nodded. "She was offered a promotion that required her to move to New York. She left this morning. I just came from the airport." His words caught in his throat and he had to fight back another round of tears.
"So...she's gone?" Jessica asked.
"Yes." Danny rubbed his hands over his face and blew out a breath. "I begged her to stay." He dropped his hands from his face.
"I'm sorry."
"What am I going to do? She was my best friend, my only family, and now she's gone. I have no one."
"You have me." Jessica put her arm around his shoulders and kissed his head. "Is there anything I can do?" She put her hand on his knee and dragged it up toward his crotch.
He groaned. Not because he was aroused, but because his body wanted Krista, his cock ached for her, his lips stung with the remnants of her kisses, and his hands itched to touch her again. Jessica mistook his reaction and started to massage him through his jeans. "Jess..."
"Shh," she said, turning his face toward her and capturing his lips in a kiss. "Let me help you." She fumbled with the zipper on his jeans. "I can help you forget."
Forget? About Krista? That would never happen. In fact, after last night, he'd be lucky if he could ever have sex with Jessica again without thinking about and wishing it was Krista. He closed his eyes and kissed her back, imagining it was his love, but that didn't work. Jessica was nothing like Krista.
The desire to push her away was overwhelming. He wanted to scream at her, to tell her that he'd never, in a million years, ever forget Krista. He wanted to shake her and tell her that he'd just lost his best friend, his family, and that no amount of sex would make him feel better. And more than anything, he wanted to tell her to go home. But if he did any of those things, it would piss her off and she would leave him again. And like it or not, Jessica was all he had right now. If he lost her, he really would be all alone, and he didn't handle being alone very well.
Then again, what would stop Jessica from leaving him tomorrow? Or next week? Or in a few months? What would he do then? It's not like he could call up Krista, meet her out at their favorite bar, and drink away their sorrows. No. Danny knew he had to do something drastic if he wanted to keep Jessica. He pulled away from her kiss and looked at her. "Marry me," he said.
Book 4: The Surrender
It had been a full month since Krista had left Danny. New York was like a foreign country to her. People were always in such a rush, and not many of them were willing to take a moment and help out a lost stranger. The only friends she had were Max and the few new employees they'd hired. All of them were working around the clock to get the new office up and running that they'd become close in a short period of time. Lora, the secretary, was nice, and Krista had spent a lot of time talking to her. Not just about work, but about personal stuff, too. Krista had learned that Lora was newly divorced and living on her own in an apartment not far from where Krista and Max were staying. She'd also learned they had a lot in common in the way of food, music, and movies. Lora had divulged all the details about her ex-husband and the nasty divorce. In turn, Krista had spilled the beans about Danny. It was nice to have someone to confide in.
She'd talked to Max quite a bit, especially since they were temporarily sharing an apartment, but it always felt awkward, as if Max was collecting information for use at a later date. She couldn't explain it, but her intuition told her that Max wanted more than friendship. If she weren't still head over heels in love with Danny, she might consider starting a relationship with him. Right now though, her heart was still raw and bleeding from how things ended with Danny.
Truth be told, she was downright miserable. She hated the city, and she missed Danny more than she thought possible. They talked on the phone once a week, usually on the weekend when Krista had drunk a few too many cocktails. It wasn't for a lack of trying on Danny's part, though. He called every day, sometimes three or four times. More often than not, she'd send his calls straight to voicemail. Other times, when she was really homesick, she'd answer. But the moment she heard his voice, all the pain would come rushing back at her, so she'd make an excuse about being busy and needing to get back to work.
And then there were the emails. Every single morning when she would get to work there would be an email from Danny waiting for her. Most of the time it would be about things happening at home, his job, the gossip from their favorite bar. Krista would respond in kind, talking solely about her new job and the city. Their interactions were those of distant acquaintances and not bes
t friends. But, this is what she wanted. It was this distance that she so desperately needed from him. Eventually, the pain and hurt would go away. It had to.
Krista sat at her desk and opened her email. Sure enough, there was one from Danny. But, she didn't have the emotional stamina to open it right now, so she skipped it and instead, opened one from Mary Beth, the secretary from her old office in California. It was nice that Krista still got to interact with her old co-workers. The email was short: Hey! Isn't this your friend? Does this mean you'll be visiting soon? Krista clicked on the attachment and a screen shot of a newspaper announcement popped up on her screen. It was a wedding announcement.
She read through it quickly, and not believing her own eyes, she read it a second then a third time. Her jaw hung open in shock, and she wasn't sure if her heart was still beating or not. Danny was marrying Jessica. This weekend. In four days. Her breakfast threatened to come back up. In all the times they'd spoken, he never once mentioned anything about getting married. How could he not tell her something so important? Hell, he hadn't even invited her to the wedding. Not that she would've gone, but that wasn't the point.
With a trembling hand, she picked up the phone and dialed Lora's extension. When she answered, Krista said, "I have an urgent call to make. I don't want any interruptions, not even from Max."
"Yeah, sure, okay. Is everything all right?" Lora asked.
"No." Krista hung up, and then she dug out her cell phone and dialed Danny's number. He answered on the second ring. From the way he said hello, she knew he'd been sleeping. "You're getting married?" She was met with silence. "How could you not tell me?"
Danny sighed then yawned. "You haven't exactly been available to talk lately and when you are, you're drunk."
"So, it's my fault you didn't tell me?" She paced around her office, trembling as her anger steadily increased. "That's real fucking nice, Danny."
Another long moment of silence ensued before he spoke again. "I didn't know how to tell you."
Krista stopped pacing and pinched the bridge of her nose in a pathetic attempt to stop the rush of tears she felt coming on. "So you thought not telling me was better?" Her voice was low and weak. She double-checked the lock on her door, and then she slid down the length of it until she was slumped on the floor, knees bent and head hung. This right now, hurt worse than the day she'd said goodbye to him at the airport. At least then there was the slim possibility that something might still happen between them. Now she knew it was really over forever.
"No," he said. "I wanted to tell you. I was going to tell you. Why do you think I've been calling so much lately?"
She cupped her hand over her mouth to stifle the sob that escaped. The only reason he'd been calling was because he wanted to tell her about his impending marriage, not because he missed her or wanted to talk to her. God, I'm such a fucking idiot! "Well, congratulations. I wish both of you all the happiness in the world." Then she abruptly hung up.
Krista hugged her knees to her chest, rested her head on them, and sobbed. Danny was gone. She'd lost him. What was she going to do now? Her cell phone rang, startling her. It was Danny. "What?" she snapped.
"You know I hate it when you hang up on me," he said, his voice deep and cautionary. "Stop avoiding me, Krista. We need to talk about his."
"What's there to talk about? I'm in love you with you, and you're in love with Jessica. It all seems pretty straightforward to me."
"That's not fair."
Everything about this was unfair. She knew that better than anyone. It still didn't change things, though. "I don't know what you want me to say." Krista sniffled and drew a shaky breath. Her head was pounding.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
The last thing she wanted from him was pity. She stood and went to her desk. Taking a seat, she said, "It's bad enough that you didn't have the balls to tell me you were getting married, but then you don't even invite me? I thought we were friends, Danny. You don't do shit like this to your friends!"
"Would you have come if I had invited you?" he shot back.
"That's not the point."
"Yeah, that's what I thought."
She couldn't believe he was upset with her when he was clearly the one who'd messed up. "God, you are so unbelievable," she let out a frustrated scream, "y'know, just..."
"Just what?" His voice was a pure male challenge. Danny was pushing her, and they both knew it. "Huh, Krista? Whatever it is, just say it."
"Fuck you, Danny!" She hung up again, and threw her cell phone across the room. It landed on the floor with a thud. She hugged herself and cried some more. To hell with this, she thought as she stood. Grabbing her purse and her cell phone, she stormed out of her office. "I'll be back Monday morning. Whatever comes up Max can deal with it." And then she left. It was her plan to lock herself in her apartment and not come out until Monday morning, until after Danny was legally married and on his way to his honeymoon. Only then would she face the world again.
"Hey! Krista! What's going on?" Lora shouted after her.
Krista ignored her and continued walking toward the front door. She couldn't deal with anyone or anything right now. As she reached the end of the block, her phone rang again. It was Danny. Her finger hovered over the reject button, but, for reasons she couldn't fathom, she answered. "Now what?"
"Stop hanging up on me!" he shouted then said in a calmer tone, "God, Krista, why are you avoiding talking to me."
She looked both ways, and when she was confident she wouldn't be run down by an angry driver, she crossed the road and turned left toward her apartment building. "Because I don't know what to say to you, Danny. The guy I used to know wouldn't have kept his wedding a secret from me. The guy I used to call my best friend would've told me before he was going to propose, and I damn well would've gotten an invitation from that guy."
Danny sighed. "I know I fucked up. I'm sorry, but..."
"But what?" Krista fumbled with getting her key into her door. She muttered a curse under her breath, wanting nothing more than to get inside and shut the world out.
"I knew if I told you it would hurt you, and I didn't want to do that."
Krista rested her head on the door with a thud. Tears feel freely down her face. "You still should've told me."
"I know. I'm sorry."
She went inside, dropped her purse on the table by the door, kicked off her shoes, and went straight to her bedroom where she flopped down on the bed.
"Krista..." His voice had that same tone as the day at the airport. She closed her eyes and could see his face, his beautiful blue eyes dulled with hurt, pleading with her to stay. Her breath caught in her throat.
"Please, Danny, don't...I can't..." Her lips trembled, and she knew if she stayed on the phone with him much longer she'd end up begging him not to marry Jessica.
"I miss you, Krista. I can't stand not having you here," he whispered in a voice that she'd only ever heard him use when they were intimate.
"Oh God," she sobbed, shaking her head even though he couldn't see her. She wondered where Jessica was. Obviously she wasn't around or else he wouldn't be saying these things to Krista. She and Jessica had never really gotten along. Maybe that's why Krista hadn't been invited to the wedding. It was more than likely all Jessica's idea. That woman was such a bitch.
"I want to see you."
"I don't think that's a good idea." There was no way she could handle seeing him. Not now and not in the near future. Besides, when did he think he was going to get a chance to see her? He was getting married in two days.
There was a knock on her bedroom door. "Krista? Hey, are you in there? Lora said you rushed home. Is everything okay?" It was Max. He knocked again. "C'mon, open up and talk to me."
Krista took a deep breath and sat up, hastily wiping the tears from her face.
"Is that Max?" Danny asked.
"Yeah, I gotta go," she replied.
"Are you and him...?"
"Are him and I what? Dating? Fucking?"
For a moment she considered lying to him, telling him that she and Max were a couple. What good would that do, though? "Does it matter?" She sighed. "Go be with Jessica."
"Krista!" Max banged on the door again.
"Coming," she called to Max. "Goodbye, Danny." She hung up and tossed her phone on the nightstand before opening the door. The moment she saw Max's concerned expression, she lost it. Her sobs shook her shoulders.
Max pulled her into his arms, hugging her and stroking her hair. "Shh," he soothed. "What's wrong?"
"Danny's getting married this weekend and he didn't tell me."
"Is that why you're upset? Because he didn't tell you?" Krista shook her head, but kept her face buried in his chest. "Or you're upset because he's getting married?"
"Yes," she mumbled, slowly wrapping her arms around Max's waist. It felt good to be held by a man like this. It had been so long. Even before her night with Danny it had been months since she'd been with someone. She missed it. She longed for the comfort that only a man's arms could offer. And here was Max, holding her, comforting her.
"I'm sorry," he said, tightening his grip on her and resting his chin on top of her head. "I never understood how that man could spend so much time with you and not fall in love with you."
Slowly, Krista lifted her head and met his gaze, which was full of concern and unapologetic lust. She swallowed the lump in her throat. Any hopes she'd had about Danny falling in love with her were now gone. But Max was here with her, clearly interested in her and what she had to offer. Without thinking, she rose up on her tiptoes, and pressed her mouth to his. He parted his lips and kissed her with a hungry, greedy, desperation. It was a searing hot kiss that ended much too abruptly.