Hell Yeah!: Cowboy Kinky (Kindle Worlds Novella) (Kinky Chronicles Book 4)

by Jodi Redford

  “What, darlin’?”

  “You can’t say these things to me.”

  “Why? It’s true. And if you’d stop being so damn stubborn and let me in, I’d say a hell of a lot worse. Every dirty, kinky perverted thought that’s ever crossed my mind. All while I’m fucking you senseless.”

  “Lord, I seriously doubt even you have that kind of stamina. I mean, every perverted thought in your head? Come on. We’re talking years to get through that raunch fest.”

  He cocked his head to the side, considering. “You might not be wrong. Guess we’ll have to extend our affair at least that long. Don’t reckon it’ll be a breeze for me, but hell, I conquered Everest. I know that’s a tiny mountain compared to this uphill monster. Still, pretty sure I can put up with your sassiness and be victorious here too.”

  She jerked her gaze up to his, her eyes shooting fire. “You put up with me?”

  “Shh. We don’t want your screechin’ riling up the alley cats.” Determined to check her response, he freed his grip on her belt loop and cupped her cheek, angling her face toward his a smidge. He pressed his lips to hers, rubbed with enough coaxing invitation to earn her shaky whimper. Taking full advantage, he snuck a little deeper taste, playing his tongue over the tip of hers. Her body melted against his slightly, putting a chink in her stubborn resistance to the powerful draw between them. He dropped his hand and pulled back, meeting her glazed stare. “Still not the kiss I’ve been saving for ya.”

  “God save me,” she whispered.

  “Don’t count on it, sugar.” He glanced sideways and caught the twinkling gazes of Jason and Mary. He nodded to his best friend. “Might as well hand that money over to your sweetheart.”

  “Hell, if you actually pop the question, I’ll buy her a kitten.”

  “Thought you were allergic.”

  “Worth it.”

  Shaking his head at his buddy’s wide grin, he caressed Kait’s limp arm. She seemed to still be lost in a daze. Not being on the receiving end of her sarcastic tongue was a whole new experience. He wasn’t quite sure what to think of it. One thing was certain, though. He loved being on the receiving end of her tongue, period. He couldn’t wait to kiss her more thoroughly. Properly. Deep, wet, sexy kisses full of tongue and lusty persuasion. Truthfully, he loved kissing easily as much as he did fucking. So he’d take his time and get his fill of her. Then their mouths would move on to exploring other tasty parts. He’d spend ample time getting acquainted with her breasts before settling in for a leisurely meal of her pussy. If they sixy-nined she could suck his cock while he ate her out. Fuck yeah, they were definitely doing that.

  Wrapped up in his thoughts, it took him a moment to register the burly biker striding in his direction. Something about the angry jut of the man’s chin instantly put him on alert. Nudging Kait closer to the bar, he angled himself in front of her, blocking her protectively. Jason must have caught wind of the potential threat, because he swung his gaze over his shoulder.

  His livid gaze pinned on Ford, the biker hauled short in front of their group. “You’re Ford Frisco.”

  That damn name sounded even stupider coming out of this ugly bruiser’s mouth. “Yeah. Got a problem with it?”

  The man’s face twisted with rage. “I can’t ride a damn horse.”

  Something every horse in existence was likely grateful for. Probably not a good idea to point that out, though. “Afraid I don’t see how that’s my problem.” But there was no question this Incredible Hulk stand-in apparently thought it was.

  “My girl’s only fantasy was to get done on a horse after seeing that movie of yours. Look at me, do I look like I can fit on a goddamn horse? I’d cripple the thing. So she left me for a cowboy. Because I can’t ride a fucking horse.”

  Any other time, he would have commented on the redundancy in pointing that out twice, but the man didn’t look like he’d take the news well. “Sorry, bud—” The remainder of his words were sucked back in his mouth as the biker hauled off and clocked him one across the jaw, sending him stumbling back against Kait. Probably he shoulda seen that coming, but damn, the big fella moved fast.

  The one thing you could always count on in a country bar was the willingness of its patrons to join in on a fight. Within seconds, half of the people up at the bar jumped into the fray, cracking stools over each other. Likely the lack of empties was the only reason bottles weren’t being lobbed yet. No one was willing to sacrifice a full beer for a stranger. He pushed on Kait’s shoulder, prodding her to crouch lower to avoid being in the crossfire of a sailing chair. “Whatever you do, don’t budge from there.”

  “Ford!”

  “Damn it, Kait. I mean it.” He offered her a fierce kiss before lunging forward with a growl. His fist connected with the biker’s nose with a satisfying crunch. The man howled, his arm swinging wildly for Ford’s head. Prepared this time, he ducked and rammed him hard with his shoulder, propelling the biker into a table. It’d been a lifetime since he’d been in a good bar fight. Hell if he hadn’t missed it a bit.

  The biker righted himself and swiped at Ford. He ducked again, but this time the big guy caught him across the temple. Stars spun in his vision and he staggered. Someone shrieked behind him. Kait. Damn it. She better have stayed put or he’d spank her scrumptious booty hard enough she’d be unable to sit for a week. Keeping that assertion forefront in his mind, he shook his head to clear it and punched the biker in his pudgy belly. It was like slugging the Pillsbury Doughboy. Ya know, if the Pillsbury Doughboy was a mean fucker with a gold mouth grill and a skull and crossbones tattooed on his bald scalp. Regardless, even the most brutal gut punch wouldn’t take the behemoth down.

  On to Plan B. He pulled back his fist, ready to deliver the biker to his knees with a final consolation prize directly in the family jewels. Out of nowhere, a bottle conked the man square in the noggin. His eyes rolled up in his head before he toppled like a felled tree.

  Slightly peeved at having the victory yanked out of his grasp, Ford pivoted, mentally calculating the bottle’s trajectory. He stalled short at the familiar gaze staring back at him. Aw, fuck.

  A mystified grin stealing across his mug, Zander stepped forward. “Well, shit. If I’d known it was you I wouldn’t have wasted my beer.”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  She was in the middle of a damn episode of the Dukes of Hazzard. Should it be a surprise, though? Put Ford in a room anywhere, and chaos and anarchy were sure to follow. And now he was talking to a stranger who bore an uncanny resemblance to him, right down to the wicked smile and bedroom eyes. God, Ford had a doppelganger. It’d be a tossup which of them was the evil one. No chance in hell a version of him roamed around out there who wasn’t disturbing the peace and sweet talking women out of their panties.

  Smoothing a hand over the front of her blouse, she strode to the two men. The gorgeous stranger noticed her first. The appreciative glint in his eyes must have stirred Ford’s curiosity. He swung his focus in her direction. Bam—she was trapped in both of their crosshairs now. This had to be how a helpless rabbit felt right before being taken down by a pair of wolves. They were practically licking their chops in anticipation.

  She stopped next to Ford and he unceremoniously hauled her against him and claimed her mouth in a searing kiss that threatened to melt her bones. Three kisses within a span of minutes, each hotter than the last. The bastard was determined to short circuit her brain. He released her and she blinked at him stupidly. “Was that it?”

  “Nope. Still gonna make you wait.”

  If the suspense didn’t kill her, the humdinger of a kiss he kept promising absolutely would. She peeked toward the Ford lookalike. His sparkling gaze trekked between her and numbnuts and humor twitched at his lips. Great. She was glad one of them found this whole thing hilarious. Men.

  “Darlin’, I’d like you to meet my brother, Zander.”

  Okay, that explained the crazy similarities. Heavy emphasis on crazy. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Zander.�
�

  Rather than accept her handshake, he twined her fingers with his and planted a kiss on her knuckles. “The pleasure is all mine, darlin’.”

  She cleared her throat. “Contrary to popular belief, that isn’t my actual name. It’s Kaitlin. Or Kait.”

  “Gotcha, sugar.”

  Christ, it’s genetic. Muffling a sigh, she glanced at Ford. “I thought you said your family was out of town.”

  His expression turned sheepish. “Yeah, about that...”

  Zander frowned at his brother. “Why would you say we’re outta town?” As fast as his confusion appeared, suspicion quickly replaced it. “Maybe the question I should ask is what you’re doing in Texas? And without a peep to any of us.”

  Mary and Jason joined them, cutting off whatever flimsy excuse Ford had up his sleeve. The introductions were made, and Zander appeared even more ticked at his brother once it was revealed that Ford was Jason’s best man. Scratching his jaw, Zander glared at Ford. “So this wasn’t a spontaneous trip. You’ve known about it for a while. Nice, asshole.” His body rigid, Zander shifted his attention to Mary and Jason. “Nice meetin’ you. Best wishes on your weddin’ tomorrow.” Without another word, he stalked to the other side of the bar.

  Ford cursed under his breath. It took everything in her not to grab the nearest beer bottle and bonk him with it. “Well, what do you expect? Of course he’s pissed. Sometimes you can be such a blockhead.”

  “I know, darlin’. But Zander being pissed at me isn’t the issue. He’ll get over it.”

  “There are more issues than your brother being angry at you?” She couldn’t stand it when Charlie was miffed with her. And the rare occasions she was given the cold shoulder for some stupidity she committed? Unbearable.

  Then again, this was Ford. Infuriating people was his superpower.

  “Hell, yes. Now he’ll tell the rest of the family I’m here.”

  “Wait. None of them know?” She groaned when he shook his head. “Just when I think you can’t possibly be a hotter mess, you go and prove me wrong.” Her temple throbbed with the makings of a humdinger of a headache. Even on vacation she couldn’t get away from straightening out Ford’s life. It was tempting to let him field this one on his own—and God knows she would have if it didn’t involve his brother. But family was everything. She couldn’t stand by and do nothing to salvage his fuck up. “Okay, this is what you’re going to do. Go over there and invite Zander back to the cabin for a chat and visit.”

  “Why the hell would I do that?”

  “Seriously?” She shook her hands in his face. “Seriously??? I’m trying to save your ass here. Throw me a damn bone.”

  “Darlin’, my intention is to give you the bone. But I can’t very well do that if Zander parks his mopey butt on the couch.”

  By some divine intervention, she corked her desire to scream and wring his neck at the same time. “There will be no boning of any kind if you don’t mend things with your brother. Comprende?”

  A considering spark lit in Ford’s eyes. “So you’re saying if I get Zander to come to the cabin, you’ll let me lick whipped cream off of your nipples afterwards.”

  “Uh, pretty sure that’s not what I said.”

  “No, I distinctly heard it. You said I could lick whipped cream off of your pussy.”

  Gritting her teeth, she plopped her hands on her hips. “A second ago you said my nipples. Which is it?”

  “Hell, since you’re all adamant about it, I’ll lick your whole body. No need to be bossy, sugar.” His gaze veered to Jason and Mary—both of whom were struggling to hold their shit together—and he heaved a melodramatic sigh. “Next thing she’ll be demanding I massage her with cocoa butter and motorboat her tits. It never ends with this woman.”

  She pointed a stiff finger in Zander’s direction. “Go. Now. Before I hunt down that beer bottle and knock some damn sense in your head.” Like that was possible. An entire case of beer dropped on that thick skull of his wouldn’t leave a dent.

  “Okay. But everyone here heard you say you’re giving me a sloppy BJ later. I have witnesses.”

  Digging her fingers into her pounding temple, she watched him amble to his brother’s side. “I’m going to need another damn vacation after this.”

  ~*~

  Hairy was overjoyed at seeing them—and getting a new friend to fawn over him—as she, Ford, and Zander stepped into the house. She was equally overjoyed to see that the place was in one piece and that Hairy hadn’t left any surprises for them while they were gone.

  Bending down on one knee, Zander scratched Hairy’s chest. The dog immediately flopped down, making it easier for Zander to reach his belly. Which obviously had been the man’s intention all along, according to Hairy.

  “Zander, would you like a beer or anything?” she offered as she headed toward the kitchen.

  “I would, but I’ve got a bit of a drive home.”

  She stalled in mid-step. “Oh. There’s always the loft upstairs.”

  “Better yet, he’ll have coffee.”

  She sent Ford a dark glower. “I’m off the clock, remember?”

  “Darlin’, I wasn’t suggestin’ you make it. Give me a sec. Lord almighty, you are bossy tonight.”

  If she didn’t look atrocious in orange, she’d kill him right then and there. She crossed to the fridge and grabbed a bottled water. Freeing the cap, she scooted out one of the stools fronting the island and copped a squat. Normally she wouldn’t be so blatant with her eavesdropping, but she didn’t trust Ford to get the deed done without her playing referee, if necessary. And she didn’t hold out much hope of that not being the case.

  Yes, he drove her completely insane with his inability to see anything beyond his own perspective on any given situation. But in some ways, she was also envious of his ability to give zero fucks. Well, at least when it came to giving a shit about what people thought. Obviously he gave a lot of the other kind of fucks. Her cheeks heating, she replayed his outrageous words from the bar. “I could definitely get behind beating around your bush. Specifically, slapping your pussy with my big ole cock before sinking inside you, nice and deep.”

  She couldn’t shake the tantalizing visual that accompanied his confession. She shouldn’t want what he was offering. But oh God, she did. Her clit tingled in anticipation of feeling his cockhead smacking it just right. She’d never had a lover do that before. Never even thought she’d want such a thing. She’d assumed it had to be something that only happened in pornos. Men in real life didn’t go around slapping women’s pussies with their cocks. Jesus Christ. This wasn’t the Stone Age. But apparently Ford was caveman enough to do it, even off the screen. The knowledge should disgust her. Instead, it was...exciting beyond belief. So much so, it was all she could do not to slide her hand inside her panties. The only thing keeping her from submitting to the urge was the possibility of Ford or Zander walking in and catching her red-handed.

  And wouldn’t that be the perfect topper to this already humdinger of a day? Biting her lip to prevent her mirth from escaping, she pressed her palm against her brow and shook her head. It’d finally happened. Ford’s lunacy had infected her and she was losing her damn mind. Still, she was several levels beneath his advanced insanity. Pussy slapping and suggesting a long term affair. What the hell was he thinking?

  Truthfully, it’d thrown her for a loop with the affair thing. She’d thought nothing that came out of his mouth could shock her anymore. Boy, she’d been dead wrong. Ford didn’t do sex in the long term. Not with the same woman, anyway. So why would he throw that out into the ether like it was remotely achievable? Unless he assumed it would somehow make her more amenable to sleeping with him.

  He doesn’t think I’m the one-night stand type. Ha. If only he knew her original idea of getting her freak on with a cowboy.

  On second thought, better he didn’t know about that. She could just see him strutting around in a Stetson and nothing else in his eternal quest to lure her to the Dark Sid
e. Like there wasn’t already a ninety-nine percent chance she’d succumb to the Ford Beckett Force. The hat would topple her right over the edge.

  Chewing her bottom lip, she peeked toward the doorway. It was damn quiet in there. Were they sitting like bumps on a log, staring woodenly at each other? Goddamn it, probably so. Did she have to do everything around here? Grumbling under her breath, she hopped down from the stool and stealthily crept to the entry. They were both on their phones.

  “Oh, for the love of Pete.”

  They simultaneously whipped their gazes up to her, twin frowns marking their countenances. She glared at Ford. “The deal was you two would talk. Not play Candy Crush or whatever the hell you’re doing.”

  “I’m checking the NASDAQ,” he said, as if that somehow made it completely reasonable. “And Zander—” He craned his neck to see his brother’s cell. “Damn, he’s playing Candy Crush. You must be psychic, sugar.”

  Growling, she stalked to the couch. The element of surprise on her side, she snatched both of their phones and deposited them on the fireplace mantel. She leveled Ford with a hard stare. “I know apologizing is a foreign concept to you, therefore I’ll get the ball rolling.” She shifted her focus to Zander. “Your brother is a jackass. I’m sure you already know that. He’s sorry for not calling you the second he found out he’d be in Texas.”

  His dark brows tugging into a low V over his eyes, Zander peered at Ford. “You are?”

  “Hell, no.”

  “Ford,” she gritted between her teeth.

  Zander chuffed a laugh. “Darlin’, I wouldn’t have believed it if it came from his own mouth.”

  Killing a sigh, she pinched the bridge of her nose. “He should be sorry, though. That’s the whole point he seems to be missing.”

  Zander chaffed the back of his neck with his palm, ruffling the ends of his dark hair. “Bro, you plannin’ to let pretty darlin’ in on why you’re not sorry and the reason you didn’t want any of the family to know you’re here? Or am I gonna have to spill the beans?”