“Liquor? I thought it was just beer you were drinking.”
“Beer. Liquor. It’s all the same.”
She reached for Ben’s arm, but he drew back. “Ben, we need to talk.”
“Yeah. But how about tomorrow? I’m kind of beat right now.”
Perhaps he was right. In his current frame of mind, he’d only get angrier. Tomorrow, after he’d slept, his mind would be clear enough for talking.
“Fine. Go get some rest. But tomorrow we’re going to discuss what’s going on inside you.”
He approached her, a contrite look on his face. “I love you, Mom. Really I do.” As he put his arms around her shoulders, he stumbled, nearly knocking her over.
Sonia shoved her right shoulder under his arm to support him and led him down the hallway to his bedroom.
He collapsed onto the bed.
She removed his shoes and left him there to sleep off the drunkenness. Then kneeling by his bed, she offered a heart-wrenching prayer for her only son.
****
Three days after her layoff, Jody found herself in Kingsford Smith Airport with the twins waiting for their Delta airline flight to Washington, DC. The plane would make two stops along the way, one in Los Angeles and one in New York, before proceeding to Dulles International Airport in the District of Columbia.
She’d decided not to alert her family ahead of time of her return. Better not turn their lives upside down again. Especially since she’d be arriving on their doorstep on Christmas Eve of all days. She’d done enough damage already without inflicting more. She’d just show up at her parents’ house and check the waters at that point to determine the temperature. If she sensed a warm, welcoming tide, she’d stay. If she didn’t, she’d go to a shelter until she landed a job and an apartment for herself and the twins.
But she hoped against hope that her family would welcome her with forgiving hearts and open arms. If her parents rejected her, maybe seeing their grandchildren would soften them and give them a reason to let her stay. As for Ben, he’d likely be shocked but overjoyed to see his big sister again.
Jody braced herself. She’d never traveled out of Sydney with the children, let alone half way across the globe. The evening departure was right around the twins’ bedtime, so they’d sleep for a good part of the trip.
“Flight 3816 departing for Washington, DC, via Los Angeles and New York. All passengers are requested to begin boarding now.”
Jody threw her knapsack over one shoulder, her tote bag over the other, and grabbed each twin by the hand. She held them tightly as they made their way to the line forming at the gate.
“Where are we going, Mommy?” Greta’s squeaky voice rose above the chatter.
“We’re going to America.”
Micah chimed in. “Where’s America?”
“It’s far, far away.”
Greta pulled back. “But I don’t want to go far, far away. I want to go home.”
Jody smiled at her daughter. “We are going home, darling.”
“Flight 3816 now boarding. Please present your boarding pass.”
Jody reached into her tote bag and pulled out the boarding passes—three of them—and handed them to the clerk at the desk. Then, following the other passengers ahead of her, she led the children down the Jetway to the plane.
A male flight attendant confirmed their seats. “An attendant will be happy to help you with your children once you’re settled.”
“Thank you.” Jody smiled and proceeded down the aisle. They had a whole row entirely to themselves. She breathed a sigh of relief. At least the children wouldn’t be climbing all over the other passengers for the next twenty-four hours.
She put Micah at the window, Greta in the center, and she took the end. No chance of the children getting up and wandering around on their own. She’d provide the perfect barricade between them and the aisle.
Micah stood and pressed his face against the thick window.
“Micah, you need to sit down. The plane will be taking off soon, and no one is allowed to stand during takeoff.”
“But I want to see outside.”
“You’ll be able to once we’re up in the sky.”
Greta squirmed. “I want to look out the window, too.”
Jody sighed. This was going to be a long flight.
She fastened the children’s seatbelts and then fastened her own. The plane filled quickly. The captain turned on the loud speaker. “We are preparing for takeoff. Please take your seats and fasten your seatbelts. We will be taxiing down the runway shortly. There are two other flights ahead of us. As soon as we get clearance, we will depart. Thank you for your cooperation. Enjoy the flight.”
Jody looked at her children. So small. So vulnerable. So tired. Was she doing the right thing uprooting them from all they’d known to take them to the other side of the world? She wasn’t even sure what she’d find when she got there.
The airplane jerked forward, startling her.
Greta grabbed her mother’s hand. “What happened, Mommy?”
“The plane started moving.”
“I don’t like it.”
“Wait ˈtil we lift off. You’ll love flying way up in the sky like a bird.”
Micah laughed aloud. “Will I turn into a bird, Mommy?”
Jody smiled. “No, darling. But you’ll feel like a bird when the plane climbs high up into the sky.”
At that moment, a flight attendant approached to ensure that their seatbelts had been fastened. She smiled at the children and offered each of them a small bag of pretzels.
“What do you say to the nice lady, children?”
“Thank you, nice lady,” the twins responded in unison.
The attendant laughed. “It’s a long flight. If you need a babysitter along the way, just holler.”
Jody smiled. “I may take you up on that offer.”
In a few moments, they were airborne. Once the seatbelt signal was turned off, Jody leaned her head against the back of the seat. After the excitement of liftoff, the twins settled down, their eyelids shutting tightly under the heavy weight of sleep.
Relieved that the children were asleep, Jody thought of the future. What lay ahead for her? For the twins? For her family? How good it would be to see her mom and dad again. And Ben. Good old Ben. He was a grown man by now. When she’d left, he was only fifteen, just starting to grow facial hair. How handsome he’d been even then. He must be a lady-killer now.
As the plane cut through the skies over the Pacific, she thought of her father. A quiet man who didn’t say much, he’d always made her feel loved. What had possessed her to leave such a wonderful family? But at eighteen, she’d succumbed to the lure of adventure, the siren call of freedom, the promise of something better than what she had. She’d replaced common sense with foolishness.
Sounds of Jingle Bells echoed over the loud speaker. The song they used to sing as a family on the way home from cutting down their Christmas tree. A lump formed in her throat. Surely Dad and Mom had already chopped down the tree for this year’s Christmas celebration. But maybe, just maybe, they’d waited. Maybe, just maybe, she could be part of that festivity once more, but this time with her parents’ grandchildren adding to the fun.
Excitement began to grow within her. She’d expect the best. She would believe her parents’ love for her would supersede all the grief she’d surely caused them. She’d trust they would be so glad to see her they would put the past behind them.
But as she drifted off to sleep, a nagging voice whispered, What if they won’t?
****
Sonia tossed and turned on her bed. As much as she tried not to worry, Ben’s drunkenness played over and over again in her mind. Where had she gone wrong? Both of her children had major issues. Surely she was to blame somehow or somewhere along the way. Jody had walked out on them, and Ben had turned to alcohol. The common denominator was a need to escape. But escape from what? And why? Hadn’t she taught her children to look to God for their st
rength? For their identity. For their purpose.
Apparently not.
If only Rick were alive. He’d put things in the right perspective for her. He’d tell her she’d done her best and the decisions her children made as adults were no longer her responsibility. But would she believe him this time?
She threw the covers off and sat on the side of the bed. Maybe a cup of chamomile tea would soothe the tormenting thoughts of inadequacy and failure. Anything to distract her from the thought that her future, along with that of her children, was hurling toward destruction.
****
Dulles International Airport bustled with activity as Jody and the twins entered the concourse shortly before midnight. The nearly twenty-five-hour flight, with two layovers along the way, had left her exhausted and needing badly to stretch. Groggy from the long journey, the twins whimpered and whined.
She guided them onto the AeroTrain to get from the concourse to the main area. She’d get them all a bite to eat and then check in at a local hotel for the night. Good thing she didn’t have any baggage other than her knapsack and tote bag. Before she left, she’d donated the little furniture she’d owned to a charity in Sydney and given away most of her clothes and other belongings to a local church.
She spotted a restaurant a short distance ahead. “Let’s get something to eat.” Jody led Micah and Greta to the small eatery, excited about eating an American hamburger once again. This would be her children’s first experience eating a real hamburger with french fries.
Despite the lateness of the hour, the place was crowded. As she approached the red and white checkered counter, a deep love for her homeland overwhelmed her. What false expectation of happiness had persuaded her to leave the great country of her birth and the love of her family for a pipe dream that had ended in heartache? Except for the twins, she had nothing to show for those wasted years of searching for a freedom that still remained elusive.
The girl at the counter asked for her order.
“Three regular burgers, one large fries, and three sodas, please.” Jody paid the girl and found a table while the order was being filled.
An hour later, hunger satisfied, Jody and the children boarded the shuttle to the Holiday Inn at Dulles Airport. They’d spend the night there before continuing their journey to her parents’ home.
Midnight had passed by the time they’d settled into their hotel room. She put the twins to bed right away. Within moments, they were sound asleep.
Exhausted, she climbed into bed with them. As D-Day drew imminent, she hoped a good night’s rest would calm the crippling fear invading her soul.
****
The memory of Ben’s drunken episode the night before jolted Sonia awake and into reality. Despite the darkness of the pre-dawn hour and a fitful sleep that had left her still tired, she rose, put on her robe, and headed for the kitchen. A cup of strong coffee would help clear her head, and time with God would prepare her for her confrontation with Ben later that morning. With Christmas only a day away, she wanted to handle Ben in a way that wouldn’t alienate him and make things worse.
Although she’d suspected he drank, she’d never smelled liquor on his breath before last night nor had she seen him drunk. Such behavior was out of character for her son. Surely he was in deep emotional pain, and she would get to the root of it.
She poured herself a cup of black coffee, longing for Rick’s presence. Rick always knew what to do, especially when it came to their children. Until he was gone, she’d never realized how much she’d leaned on him. Now, she had to face things alone.
I will never leave you nor forsake you.
Tears sprang to Sonia’s eyes. “Thank You, Lord. Thank You for always being there for me.”
She took her coffee mug and headed for her fellowship chair. She opened her devotional book and turned to December 24th. Christmas Eve. How quickly time passed. The passage for the day was Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, submit to Him and He will make your paths straight.” Sonia pondered the words. Was she submitting to God in all her ways? Only then would He make her paths straight. She examined her heart. “Lord, if I am not submitting to You, show me where I am going my own way.”
She listened but heard nothing. What was God saying to her? That there was no area in which she was not submitting to Him? Doubtful. Perhaps an answer would come later. For now, she’d focus on the chief need of the day—confronting Ben.
But how to do so in a way that wouldn’t ruin Christmas Eve for them both?
****
The hotel room alarm clock sounded its piercing cry at 8:00 AM sharp. Jody groaned as she fumbled for the off button. It couldn’t be morning already. She hoped the alarm hadn’t startled the children.
Remembering where she was, she opened her eyes wide. Today was Homecoming Day. The day she’d both longed for and dreaded. The day that would seal her fate and the fate of her children.
Today was also Christmas Eve.
She looked over at Greta and Micah still fast asleep in the large king-sized bed they’d shared with her. She’d chosen it on purpose so the twins would feel safe during their first night in a hotel. So many new experiences for them in the last couple of days. Although they couldn’t verbalize their feelings well, she could sense their distress in their whining. Jody put herself in their shoes. How would she have felt at three years of age, giving up all that was familiar to go to a country on the other side of the world? The big airplane, the long flight, the strange hotel. No wonder her children were grumpy. But maybe it was her fault. Maybe she wasn’t making the whole trip enough of an adventure.
Or maybe they were sensing her anxiety at going home.
She’d be more careful of her attitude.
To her surprise, the children slept through the alarm clock. They must have been totally exhausted. She rose and poured water into the two-cup coffeepot provided in the room then added the complimentary morning roast. As the coffee brewed, she washed her face and brushed her teeth. She’d taken a shower the night before, after the children had fallen asleep. So all that remained was to get dressed, get the children bathed, dressed, and fed, and check out of the hotel. She’d planned to arrive at her parents’ home late that afternoon, before dark and in time to celebrate Christmas Eve with her family.
At least that was her plan.
A chill coursed through her body. If things didn’t go as planned, where would she go with two small children on Christmas Eve?
She put the thought out of her mind. She needed to keep a positive attitude. If not for herself, at least for the kids.
“Mommy?” Greta’s squeaky voice broke through Jody’s thoughts.
“Yes, honey. Mommy’s right here.”
Jody walked toward the bed where Greta sat with outstretched arms.
“I want my mommy.”
Jody picked her daughter up and held her close. “And your mommy wants you, sweetheart. I’m right here. Don’t be afraid.”
“Micah kicked me while I was asleep.”
Micah’s groggy voice piped up from under the covers. “I did not.”
Jody laughed. “Greta, how do you know Micah kicked you if you were asleep when he did it?”
“Because I know.” Greta buried her head in Jody’s shoulder.
“I didn’t kick you, Greta.”
Jody sighed. “OK, OK. Let’s not argue. Let’s be happy because today is the big day.”
Micah sat up in the bed. “What big day?”
Jody took Micah’s hand and drew him toward her. “Today is the big day you meet your grandma and your grandpa.”
Greta pressed against Jody’s chest. “But I’m scared to meet my grandma and my grandpa. I don’t even know who they are.”
A pang of remorse flooded Jody’s soul. “It’s my fault you don’t know who they are. But today I’ll fix that. Your grandma and grandpa are wonderful people who love you.”
Micah furro
wed his brows. “But how can they love us if they don’t know us.”
Jody pondered her son’s profound words. “The best way to answer that question, Micah, is to have you meet them. When you do, you’ll understand. Now, let’s get up and at ‘em, shall we?” Jody tickled Micah’s belly.
Greta giggled as her brother began to laugh uncontrollably.
****
Sonia was nursing her second cup of coffee when Ben walked into the den. She suppressed a smile. He was the perfect commercial for bedhead.
He flopped on the sofa opposite her chair. “So there you are.” He stretched out his long legs on the braided rug in front of him.
“Where else would I be this time of day? It’s only eight thirty.”
“You gotta be kidding. I coulda slept another two hours at least.”
Sonia leaned back. “I guess you could have, but it’s Christmas Eve. Don’t you want to do something extraordinary on this very special of days?” She took a steadying breath. Remnants of last night’s fear lingered as she entered cautiously into the conversation.
Ben folded his arms behind his head. “Come on, Mom. It’s like any other day, and you know it.”
Sonia stiffened. “No, I don’t know it, Ben. For as along as I can remember, Christmas Eve has been a very special day to me.”
“Well, it used to be for me, too, but not anymore.”
She considered the pros and cons of her next question then decided to ask it. “What changed for you, Ben?”
His face grew taut. “I can’t believe you’re asking me that question. You know very well what changed.”
Sonia studied the son she loved more than life itself. The son who, as a little boy, had nursed a wounded robin back to health. Ben had never been hard. His bitterness was a cover-up for his deep hurt. “Every day things change, Ben, and every day we have to adjust to change if we want to survive and continue to live.”
“If you call what you do living...
Sonia took a deep breath. “What do you call living?”
A Christmas Homecoming Page 3