by J. L. Beck
“I know you do and that’s why we’re going to do this. Together,” I soothed her, thanking the lord that she had been sent to be my saving grace. The love I felt for her couldn’t be reproduced. She was my air, my food when I was hungry, and my water when I was thirsty.
She was my world.
Chapter Eight
Lola
Two weeks later
It had been nearly three years since the last time I heard my mother’s voice. My hands trembled with the cell phone in it, as I dialed the number I had learned by heart and waited for the ringing to sound.
Jackson stared at me across the room, his eyes never leaving mine, as I let the anxiety and fear of the unknown wash over me.
The line went from static to a loud ringing in my ear. It rang, and rang, and just when I was sure no one was going to answer, my mother’s voice filled the line.
“Hello?” Her voice hadn’t changed one single bit.
“Momma,” I cried into the phone, wondering if she was going to hang up or let me speak my peace.
“Lola? Is that you sweetie?” Tears filled my eyes as my entire body started to shake with emotion.
“Momma, it’s me. I’m sorry, so sorry. I should’ve listened to you. He was a bad man, a bad, bad man.” I couldn’t hide the sobs that erupted from deep within me. Jackson was already crossing the room, his arms wrapping around me tightly as if to say, I’m the glue that will hold us together.
“Damnit, Lola,” my mother cursed under her breath. “Where are you? Are you okay?” I knew she was concerned with where I was and if I was okay, but she had no idea how much it meant to me that she answered the phone.
“I’m fine, Momma. I’ve moved on to better things in my life, and found a man that I plan to spend the rest of my life with. I just wanted to call and let you know that I love you and I hope that someday I can come home and see you.” I wiped away the tears from my face, no longer wanting to cry.
“Oh baby, you know your father and I only wanted the best for you. We only said those things in hopes that you would come to your senses and leave that asshole. When you didn’t we had no choice but to let things be as they were.” I could practically feel the emotions in her words.
“I…” I stumbled over my words, but Jackson placed a kiss against my skin, reminding me that I could do this. “I want you to meet him, Momma. I want you and Daddy to meet the man I love. I want to make you proud.” I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment, while sucking fresh oxygen. It gave me some clarity and the chance to clear my head a little bit.
“Whatever you want, sweetheart. I just want to see you again, but this time in person, so that I can make sure it’s really you, my daughter.” I had never been happier with the things that were taking place in my life. I exchanged information with my mother, giving her the address to the cabin.
We set up a date in the future to meet up, and she told me that she loved me. Three words I had waited years to hear. Granted the entire reason I had to wait to hear them was my fault, but still.
When I finally hung up the phone, Jackson was still holding onto me. Keeping the pieces of me that threatened to chip away together.
“I can tell you mean the world to her, Lola,” he rasped in my ear. I closed my eyes and let myself sink into his deep voice. The warmth of his body against mine made my pussy wet. It had been only a few hours since our last fuck, but I couldn’t get enough of the man.
“That’s why it hurts so badly, because when I left and did what I did I ripped her heart out.” I hated myself for hurting my family the way I did, not Roger or anyone else, but myself. I made the choice to leave, and in the end, that was what made them want to disown me.
“Forgiveness is never easy to give, but holding onto rage in its place is as bad as letting negative thoughts rent space in your mind. Don’t beat yourself up about things in the past, just forgive and move on. Learn from your mistakes, sweetheart, that’s all you can do.”
I didn’t deserve a man like Jackson, but I wasn’t going to give him up. Never. He fused the broken pieces of my heart together. He completed me when I felt that there was no matching piece to my puzzle.
We were the perfect blend of chaos and perfection mixed together, and because of Jackson, I realized that there would always be beauty in the simple things of life. Even if we didn’t have the huge house with the white picket fence, we had us, with our cabin and over a hundred-acre farm.
“When I look back on this day with you, and any day after, I want to know that I did all I could to make myself happy. I want to know that I did my best, and the only way to know that is to let you guide me to being a better person. When I’m with you, Jackson, I am a better person.” I turned in his arms, my entire body burning up as I brought his lips to mine.
I would climb him just like the tree he was if I had to, just to get to his lips. He smiled as he kissed me back, his hands roaming over my backside where he squeezed gently.
“I think we should consider practicing our baby making skills. Maybe by the time I meet your parents we’ll get to share the wonderful news that they’re going to be grandparents?” I pulled away a little bit, looking up at him and into those coffee brown eyes of his.
“I know where this is going, and I think I like it. I think I like it a lot,” I moaned into his mouth, my tongue mingling with his in a way that made my body shake with need. I had been through hell and back, but was rescued by a lumberjack himself.
“You better, because I’m about to give you some wood, baby…” he laughed, and we kissed until we both became breathless and our bodies, refusing to be separate entities, became one.
Epilogue
Jackson
“She looks just like you,” I whispered in Lola’s ear, as she held our sleeping daughter in her arms. Two years is how long it took to be blessed with that little bungle of joy.
I’ll never forget the day Lola peed on that little stick and it said positive, or the day she found out we were having a little girl. All those memories would stick with me for the rest of my days.
“You think so? I think she looks like you honestly…” We examined Alexandria’s face, looking to see who she looked more like. She had a cute little button nose, and huge chipmunk cheeks. The doctors said her cheeks were so big from the swelling that sometimes takes place during birth.
I wasn’t worried about it though. She looked cute as could be. She blinked her tiny eyes open, revealing the bluest eyes I had ever seen, aside from her mother’s. I couldn’t help but drop down to my knees right then and there and give myself up to that little girl who weighed no more than eight pounds.
This was my life now. These two beautiful women were my life now. I had more to protect, and even more to be proud of.
“I love you, sweet little Alex,” I cooed at her as she opened her mouth, sucking her fingers into it. Her eyes twinkled, and I swear she almost smiled.
“My parents will be here soon, Jackson. If you want to take her and hold her, you can.” Lola looked up at me, knowing I wanted to hold her, but also knowing that I was deathly afraid to do so.
“She’s still so tiny, and look at me, Lola. I’m a giant compared to her.” I was completely out of my element when it came to this little girl.
“Oh, shut up, sit down, and take the baby,” Lola ordered, and I did as I was told, taking the seat on the sofa right next to her. I made a cradle out of my arms and squeezed my eyes shut, as Lola settled Alexandria into my arms. She was so tiny that I was afraid my arm would swallow her up.
“It’s not so bad now is it?” Lola teased, getting up from the couch. She had been moving around a lot more since her C-section, but I still didn’t like her going into the other room alone.
“It’s not bad. I just don’t want to break her. She’s so fragile.” I looked down at Alexandria, her features were resembling a dolls. She was beautiful, just like her momma. I placed a finger against her hand and watched as she wrapped her entire hand around it tightly.
&
nbsp; “You’ll always be Daddy’s little girl… You know that, right?” I whispered to her, enjoying the feel of her in my arms. I was a Daddy, a husband, and a lumberman. My heart was filled with so much joy and love that it was almost drowning me.
“No she’ll always be Daddy’s little lumbergirl, you know, not lumberjack because she’s not a boy.” Lola walked into the kitchen and came back a second later with some freshly baked muffins, muffins that reminded me of my grandmother.
“You think she would be proud?” I asked Lola.
“I think she would be more than proud, Jackson. I think she would be thrilled, and so damn proud of all that you have done.” As we sat on the couch listening to the crickets chirp outside, I let the beauty of our simple life sink in.
I had the girl. I had the baby. I had the dream job.
What more could a man possibly ask for?
The End