He tapped my hands wrapped around his chest, lightly holding his over mine.
“How can one place mean two totally different things to two different people? It was hell for me to be here, and for you, it is heaven.”
“And now?”
“You make it heaven. My heaven. The only place I want to be if I know you are going to be here.”
“So I changed this place for you?” I asked.
“No … you changed me for this place. You healed me.”
“Trevor, I think you healed yourself. You just needed some time.”
“And you.”
I continue holding him from behind and let him continue looking into the distance. We spoke no words, although I felt like we were talking a million miles an hour.
He turned and leaned me up against the fence.
I look into his eyes, and they have turned from serious to playful. I love the playful Trevor. He kisses me, teasing me to give me just a little bit of him, and then pulling back.
“I have never kissed a woman on this property.”
“Bullshit. That is a good one, though,” I sass back.
“I’m serious,” he says, and I shiver.
“Kiss me again then and prove it.”
He kisses me, and I take it all in. He moves his tongue in my mouth expertly, showing this wasn’t the only thing he was good at.
“What else have you not done here?”
“You would like to know, wouldn’t you?” He raises his eyebrows knowing it would get me going even more.
“I would,” I cave.
“In good time, Ryann.”
He kisses me again and again until we hear Jackie hollering and whistling but not out of joy. She was pissed she was doing all the work.
“Hey … you want to go to dinner with my parents next week?”
“Are you sure you want me there?”
“Yes … You know the old man that is at Smith’s all the time?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s my father. Lewis.”
“Really?”
“Yep.”
*****
Ryann
I show up at the condo excited to see Trevor tonight. He wanted to pick me up at my place, but this made more sense. He lives in such a new place, and I feel like I couldn’t compete. But he explained there was no need to compete. My place was one of the reasons he liked me. It was me, and he didn’t want to change that.
Tonight, he is going with me to meet with my mom and dad. That felt really odd saying out loud. It will be the first time I’ve been with them since the morning they told me.
Trevor has a glass of wine waiting for me when I arrive to try to calm my shaky nerves. I wasn’t sure why I was so nervous, but I was.
“I still can’t believe your father has been watching you at the bar.”
“Yep.”
“Explains why he is always looking after you … I mean he did what he could, right?”
“Yeah, I guess both our fathers did what they thought was right. Still sucks, though.”
“Hell, yes, but maybe they knew better.”
“We are meeting them at the Ruth Chris’ steakhouse. He wanted to treat us. Have you ever been there?”
“Once. On business,” he responds.
“I’ve never been.”
He hands me a beautiful bouquet of flowers just like the other ones he’s sent me. I love them, and I could get used to their scent in my home.
“You are going to spoil me.” I take them, smelling them.
I walk toward the windows that look over Austin. The whole city lights up at night. It doesn’t even feel like the same location during the day. Something about being high in the air looking over the city excites me. It makes me feel like anything was possible. He stands beside me as we both look out taking in the sight. I turn to him, put my arms around his neck, and kiss him. He looks gorgeous tonight with his suit on.
“You ready? I don’t want to be late the first time I am meeting your parents.”
He was right; although, I would much rather spend time with him here alone.
I was wearing a black form fitting dress that came high in the front but hung low in the back. I wasn’t especially large in the breasts but had a fantastic ass. Or that’s what I have been told. The dress I wore tonight required me to wear no bra, and this would work to my advantage and Trevor’s. We would be having sex for the first time. After this, I would be all in, and any chance of me being able to walk away would be thrown away. But I was going for it. I was going to take the gamble. He had been trying, and that was all I could ask for.
I had wanted him all the way for far too long. Truthfully, the fact we made it this long was a miracle.
Trevor stood beside me completely oblivious of what I was thinking and that I was about to strip down for him. I knew he had a fantasy to take a woman in front of the windows from a conversation that Maxwell and Sadie had the night that we had come over. I hope I would do.
I took off one shoulder, sliding it slowly to get his attention. I wanted to see his eyes and for him to see mine, to acknowledge the desire I had for him.
I then began to slide down the second shoulder and then my arms were all that was holding it up just at the very top of my breasts. I wanted to make him wait for a minute and fantasize about what I was wearing underneath.
“Shit, Ry… you are going to kill me. We have to leave, don’t we?”
He moves closer, and I ran one hand through his hair while still holding the other up against my chest about to kiss him but holding off.
“We can leave if you want … or …” And I drop my dress. I had to move my hips a bit to get the dress free, but it puddled at my heels until I stepped out of it.
I wore a lace thong that may as well have been nonexistent.
“Holy fucking hell …”
He moves flush with my body, but his clothes are blocking us, irritating us both.
“I heard from someone … that you wanted to have sex in front of this window.”
“What window?” he says and grins.
“The window I am standing at right here,” I murmur as I lean up against it.
He unbuttons his shirt then unbuttons his pants. I take the liberty of unzipping them and then putting my hand in them to touch him.
He was aroused, and I was far past that.
I begin moving my hand up and down on his length the best I could with the cloth blocking it.
He had leaned against me on the window, and I was sucking on his ear.
“How about if I remove these?” And I use my foot to push his pants down taking a hold of his ass.
He lifts me off the ground and puts his fingers over my center checking the moisture before moving himself in front of me instead.
“Ryann … you feel just as good as I thought you would.”
“You haven’t felt anything yet,” I mumbled.
He takes that as an invitation and pushes himself in me as I lean my body back against the window. He continues moving in and out of me while holding me up against the glass. We don’t worry about the time, who could see us, or what we were doing. We only focus on the pleasure.
He continues to thrust, and I rock with him enjoying every stroke. Please don’t let this end, I’m begging. I had thought many times of what it would feel like with Trevor in me, but this … there are no words. He is a god, and if I have to beg for this for the rest of my life, I would. I was positive I would never have another lover like this.
“Does it feel good?” he asks, and I nod my head and then pull at his hair while suckling on his neck.
“I’m about to—” I mutter, and he begins moving faster hitting me higher and higher inside.
And that does it.
He pushes in me while rocking his body and his chest against my breasts. I have never felt so amazing.
When he rolls his hips one final time, I know he has finished in me, and I couldn’t have been more ecstatic. I had pleased h
im, and he had pleased me.
I want to tell him that I love him … but I don’t. I’m not going to risk ruining this moment of intimacy.
He kisses me sweetly on the lips and puts me back on the ground. “You are amazing, you know that?”
“You’re pretty amazing yourself.”
We kiss for a few more minutes, and then I immediately realize since the trance was wearing off where we were supposed to be.
“I think it is about time that we head out to meet my parents.”
“I will do whatever you want after that,” Trevor admits.
“I really want to kick myself right now.” He laughs.
“Why?”
“We could have been doing this so much earlier?”
“You think? I had to make you work for it!”
“And you were well worth it, Ry.”
I wink at him and want to respond that I feel the same way because I do. There was no doubt about my feelings for him. I was head over heels in love with Trevor James and had been for a very long time. I just had to wait for him to admit he loved me too.
*****
Trevor
Twenty minutes later, we are sitting at the restaurant having some wine and still in a daze.
I am not the type of person who is shocked often, so when it happens, I love it. And Ryann, she shocks me. She intrigues me and keeps me on my toes, guessing what she is going to do next.
“So sorry, Mom, we are late. I got stuck in traffic on the way to Trevor’s,” Ryann says smiling.
“Not to worry, baby girl. We were just visiting.” She smiles and looks over at Lewis.
We are only sitting for a brief minute before her father calls for our attention. “I’d like to make a toast,” Lewis says and raises his glass. We all followed his lead.
“To my daughter and her beautiful mother, the love of my life.” We clink our glasses together and look around the table. My focus remains on Ryann before I look up.
Lewis has his arm around her mom. He looked like they were still in love, and it made me wonder why it had ended years ago.
I speak up. “How did you two meet?”
Tammy begins to talk, and Lewis interrupts her. “I saw her one day sitting in the milkshake shop we all went to after school. I knew the first time I laid eyes on her that I was going to spend the rest of my life loving her, even if I didn’t get it in return.”
She giggles. “Lou, that is positively ridiculous.”
Ryann adds, “Mom always said that she loved you at first sight too.”
“And I did,” she confirms.
“She had her hair pulled to the side and had on a white button up shirt with a kerchief around her neck. She was beautiful.”
“You had on a button up striped short sleeve shirt with blue jeans,” Tammy adds.
“I can’t believe you two remember all this from all the years that have passed,” I comment.
“When it is love, it is love,” Lewis says.
I look to my left and see Ryann staring at me sweetly.
I lean forward slightly pulling Ryann’s hand into my lap, lightly rubbing my thumb over her soft skin.
The conversation continued easily through our meal. Lewis and Ryann laugh at some of the bar idiots, then she and Tammy laugh at some of her childhood stories while sharing them. After asked, I told some stories about some funny things that happened at the hospitals I had worked at.
“You know I wanted to be a doctor as well?” Lewis says matter-of-factly.
“Really? What stopped you?”
“My parents. They wanted me to run the family business. Or course, back then was a different time. It was expected for the children to take over the business so that the parents could retire.”
“My parents wanted me to take over the stables too, but I was determined,” I respond.
“You should be proud that you followed your dream, son. Not everyone is so lucky.”
“Thank you, sir,” I respond respectfully.
Ryann seems to sense my silence, the remembering of my past and moves over sweetly.
She moves to my ear, and I glance up and see her parents talking.
“Trev,” she whispered. Damn, I love anything that comes from her lips.
“Ry?” I second.
“Don’t they look like they are in love still?” she asks, and I nod in agreement. She continues smiling and pulls back only when I move toward her.
I suddenly wish we were anywhere but here … alone …“If I told you I wanted to take you home and make love to you, would you …?”
She turns to look at me and then smiles ear to ear.
“Only if we stay the night together,” she demands.
“I wouldn’t want it any other way.” I love the way we turned our heads to whispers. It was intimate and added to the intensity of my words. I did want her, but for the first time in my life as a grown man, I wanted every part of a woman. Ryann.
“Mom, I’m not really feeling all that well. I think I am just exhausted from all the hours,” she says preparing for our escape.
“That’s okay, dear. Trevor, can you make sure my little girl gets home and to bed?”
“Yes, ma’am. You know many things have been going around. Hopefully, it is a short bout.”
She stands up, and I follow standing beside her.
“We need to do it again soon, kids. I really enjoyed it,” Lewis says, and I return the compliment.
As we were walking out, I hear Tammy comment, “She doesn’t look very tired …” and I almost want to laugh. She would be tired here shortly if I had anything to say about it.
Twenty
Trevor
Today, I stand in the very same spot I have stood at exactly nine am waiting for Jackie and Ryann. Instead of both of them, it was just Ryann.
She walks slowly over to me from her car and smiles but looks nervous.
“Hey, baby.” I envelop her and bring her close to my body. Calling her baby seemed to come natural and I found myself saying it anytime I was alone with her.
“Baby?” she asks.
“You don’t like me calling you that?”
“I like you calling me anything, Trevor.” She pauses. “I was a little worried when I saw you today. I can’t help but worry that you are going to pull back from me again. And now … I don’t… No, I know I can’t handle it.”
“Ry … I am so sorry I hurt you, but if I promise to never intentionally hurt you again, can you forgive me?”
She looks at me as if I have two heads, not commenting but finally nodding her head.
She stands directly in front of me, and I lean in and kiss her. I kiss her like my last breath depended on it. I kiss her with all the love I have for her and know that I won’t regret this. I regretted so many things in my life, things I couldn’t fix. Things that were too late to figure out and let my pride stand in the way. She returns my kiss as hungrily as I give to her.
“You know … love truly makes you insane, turns you inside out but …”
“Love?” She pulls back from me.
I look her in her blue eyes. “Yes … I love you, Ryann Payne.”
“I love you too, Trevor James.”
We kiss again and then she mumbles words as my mouth is meeting hers.
“So that is what it feels like.”
“What feels like?” I ask her.
“To really love someone with all your heart and know they love you the same way,” she tells me.
“I will love you forever, baby.”
“Promise?” she asks.
“Most definitely.” I pause. “Who would have thought when I saw you at that bar that night, my first night back in Austin, that I would have met the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with … the woman who put my heart back again.”
“So you aren’t broken anymore?”
“I have realized I wasn’t broken. I thought I was, but come to find out, my heart was just waiting on the right one. And you, baby, ar
e the right one.”
And with that, she jumps into my arms, and I kiss her again deeply. For the first time in as long as I could remember, I felt whole. Her being in my arms completed me.
I thought I had fallen in love before, but I couldn’t be more wrong. It was nothing like the love I have for Ryann. I would die for this love, and if I had to, since I had been such an asshole, I would spend the rest of my life proving my love to her.
Ryann was my forever, and I almost missed her. I hadn’t woken up from my past to live in the present. And when I finally did, I found the love of my life, the one that I will do anything for and I know will do anything for me.
I know my father is smiling down on us and to me that was good enough. I could rest all the regret because I was living now, just as he had wanted. And for once, in all my years, I finally had what I secretly hoped for but wasn’t foolish to believe I would ever have.
I look over my shoulder before we mount the horses to see Jackie and Mom sitting on the porch toasting sweet iced tea with smiles across their faces.
I point it out to Ryann, and she laughs. “I knew it!”
“You know, and strangely, I wouldn’t change it for a minute,” I say and wink. “You?”
“No … now, saddle up so I can beat your ass. I’ve been dying to show you what Sunshine can do when she has on a rider she loves.” She loves getting me worked up, and yes, I love it too.
I smile genuinely at her and don’t give an explanation other than muttering three words. “Thank you, Ry.”
“You’re welcome, baby,” she answers and smiles.
THE END!!!!
Epilogue
Two years later
Ryann
After Trevor proposed to me I knew exactly where I wanted our wedding to be. Where else but the stables? I couldn’t help but think that we could not only get married before our family and friends, but also his father. I had no doubt he would be looking down at us. Mr. James would be proud to see that Trevor had taken on such a big part around the stables. In fact, after our honeymoon, we were moving to the James Stables. I had planned for us to live in town close to the hospital but he insisted on us living in the country. He even joked and said he would live in the trailer with me but I knew he was just trying to be nice. He promised to always accept me and never try to change that, and I did him. Anyway, no matter how much you were in love, in a small place like that we would kill each other. Not to mention I dated an asshole when I lived there and I didn’t want any memories of him around us, my happy space.
BrokenHearted Page 16