by John Ringo
Butch tried not to giggle as he headed down to Lever Two and somebody else had to pull off the plastic spider taped to Gursy's porthole.
"Somebody has been a bad boy," Dracula said, rolling into his bunk and turning on the TV.
"Really?" Butch said, trying not to sound too interested. "What happened?"
Dracula, AKA Drac, AKA Vladimir Anthony De Rosa was also a probie but he'd made it past the "hard" probation period. He only had a couple more months and he'd make full tech. He was also Butch's roommate and a ready source of the sort of gossip that wasn't shared with an absolute FNG.
"Somebody, and Gursy is steaming mad to try to find out who, taped a spider to his porthole," Drac said. "He's also filed an official safety complaint."
"I'm so sorry to hear that," Butch said.
"What I can't figure out is how they did it," Drac said. "Somebody would have to go out in a suit, or a sled, and tape it there."
"Unless, and this is just a guess," Butch said. "Somebody noticed that Gursy always uses the sled parked at slot Three. Then, if somebody was an evil bastard, all they had to do was put the spider on their sled and park it at Three."
"In which case, when Gursy finds out the last guy to use the sled, he's going to be making a formal complaint," Drac said.
"That assumes that the last guy to use the sled knew the spider was there," Butch said.
"How could you miss a spider on your porthole?" Drac asked.
"Well if, and this is just thinking you understand," Butch said. "If you knew that the guy using the sled was going to go back to Three because Gursy was out and three is the closest to the entrance that didn't have a sled and you knew that he was only going to be gone for less time than Gursy, somebody, and I've got no idea who, could tape the spider in place above the porthole on a bit of monofilament and space tape and hold it in place with regular scotch tape. The scotch tape was going to last long enough for somebody like, oh, BFM, to go out and back and never notice the spider cause it was way up over where he could see without doing a full exterior. And it might be particularly hard to spot sin . . . if it was up under the Number Four Arm. Just a guess."
"Damn," Drac said. "That's . . . complicated. Whoever thought that one up was a genius. But . . . BFM?" He chuckled at that and then guffawed.
The team lead was a regular and serious practical joker. But whereas Gursy's jokes were never very funny, BFM's were hilarious. It had just the right touch to be a Price. Complicated, hard to prove . . .
"Gursy is going to try to pin this on Price," Drac said. "Which means making an official safety complaint."
"Read the regs," Butch said. "Strangely enough, futzing with a suit is covered but not a sled. The spider could have been in the sled, and it wouldn't have been a safety violation. Not officially."
"I see a new reg being written," Drac said. "And since you're a temp probie . . ."
"I had nothing to do with it," Butch said. "What temp probie could possibly have come up with something that crazy?"
"First, I didn't do it," John "BFM" Price said, holding up his hands. "Second, it's not a safety violation."
The team lead was simply huge, six eight with a big bear gut, a beard that hung to his chest and a mass of shaggy hair. He looked like a black-haired Bigfoot.
"It was messing with my suit," Carter Gursy said. Gursy was much shorter but with the same general shape and just about as hairy. Except on top where he was pretty much bald. "That's a firing offense. And you were the last person to use it, Price!"
"Calm down," Doug Purcell said. The welding crew manager had been working for Apollo since the days when all they had was the Monkey Business and a couple of BDAs. Before that he'd worked in the drilling industry so he'd seen his fair share, and more, of dust-ups like this one. "I do have to admit this seems like a violation of Six-Three-Eight-Four-Nine-Delta."
He also had an elephant's memory for regulations.
"Nope," Price said. "Checked just before I come up here. Niner-Delta refers only to personal suits. Nothing about sleds. Doesn't mean I did it. But it does mean it's not a violation."
"I see a new reg being written," Mr. Purcell said, sighing. "And you insist that you did not do this?"
"I'd admit it if I did," Price said. "It was a sweet set-up and since it's not covered by regs I'd be in the clear. Who was the last guy before me to use the sled?"
"Uh . . ." Mr. Purcell said, accessing his plant. "Allen."
"The FNG?" Price said, chuckling. "No way an FNG did this. And Allen's Mister Pure. His big problem is he isn't tough enough. But he's been putting up with Gursy's crap so I guess he might slide."
"I want somebody's hide for this," Gursy said. "I don't care if it's covered by regs or not, it's a safety violation!"
"You're one to talk with all the crap you pull," Price said. "Gursy, here's the low-down. I don't know how you made it through probe. Because nobody on the crew likes you one damned bit, nobody trusts you and if you were probe we'd have voted you off the island. I joke. Everybody jokes. Some of them get rough. You're just a buddy-screwer. I don't like that on my crew. Joking's one thing. Being a buddy-screwer's another. So you want to bitch about this hard enough, we can put in an official request for transfer as incompatible. I noticed you come to us in the middle of a placement zone. Which told me you'd already got one transfer. But I decided to let it slide. Some crews you got to be one kind of guy to work with them. Quick enough, I figured out why you were kicked off a crew."
"I think we need to break up this little pow-wow," Mr. Purcell said, raising his hands. "Mr. Gursy, you're off shift. I'm not going to have anyone as agitated as you in the Dark with a laser in your hand. Mr. Price, if you could stay a moment."
"You try to kick me off the crew, I'll appeal," Gursy said, standing up.
"You just do that," Price said, not looking up. Of course, he didn't really need to since he was Gursy's height sitting down.
Mr. Purcell leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, looking at the team lead.
"I didn't do it," Price said, holding up his hand with three fingers extended. "Honest."
"Then who did?" Purcell asked.
"Allen," Price said, instantly.
"Really?" the manager said, looking amused. He'd been around this game long enough to enjoy a really good joke. You either developed a sense of humor about such things or you got out.
"Yeah," Price said. "He stuck it up with a piece of scotch tape. He didn't know who was going to use the sled but he figured it was going to go back to Three, which Gursy always uses cause he's a buddy-screwer."
One and Two were reserved for Mr. Purcell and other construction managers. Three was the next closest to the door.
"You're sure of this?" Mr. Purcell said.
"Why do you think I made sure I parked it at Three?" Price said. "I said I didn't do it. I didn't say I didn't help."
"Mr. Allen seems to be doing well . . ." Mr. Purcell said.
"If you're asking if I think he needs to be transferred, the answer is no," Price said. "I'd take three of Allen over Gursy. In fact, if it's a choice of Gursy or Allen, I'd take Allen, even though he's a probie. Usually when a guy's been on a crew and he knows what he's doing, even if he's an asshole guys'd rather work with him than a probie. But Gursy's an asshole and a buddyscrewer and everybody knows it. He does what he has to get by. Allen works his tail off."
Mr. Purcell leaned back and closed his eyes, his lips working from side to side. After a few moments he opened them and regarded the team lead.
"You ever want to sit in this seat?" Purcell asked.
"Sure," BFM said. "Some day."
"What's your primary motivation going to be?" Purcell asked.
"The good of the guys," Price said.
"Wrong," Purcell said. "Dead wrong. Depends on which seat you're sitting in what, exactly, your motivation is. But in this seat, working for Apollo, the answer is: The best long-term interest of the company. Allen is a probationary tech, still no
t very good at his job and not yet a net asset to the company. Gursy is a trained tech and while I could wish he was more motivated in his position, he is a net asset."
"So you're saying get rid of Allen, who's a damned good kid, for a jackass like Gursy?"
"Not saying that," the manager said. "If I was at BAE, and God save me from another such assignment, the answer would be yes. If I was still at Shell the answer would be yes. But there's a reason I work for Apollo. Here's the thing. When you sit at this desk, there are two things you have to think about: What's going to make the company money and what's going to do it in the future. That's all."
"Then I don't want to sit at that desk," Price said.
"Don't be so quick to judge," Purcell said, smiling. "The work is physically much easier than spending all your time in the Black and the pay is generally better and always steadier. And it's not quite the selling your soul you're thinking. You ever met Tyler Vernon?"
"No," Price said, furrowing his brow. "And hell no. I don't got nothing against him, seems like a straight up guy and I think he runs a good company. Seems to care about his people. But I never come near meeting him. I mean, see his ship in the bay from time to time, but . . ."
"He, rarely, teaches a class on business ethics for Apollo managers," Purcell said. "Fascinating guy. I mean, you know the history. But I mean personally he's a fascinating guy. The course is titled ‘Capitalism Clothed' and it's a mandatory class for management at Apollo. The title's a take on Naked Capitalism. You get it?"
"Got it," Price said, smiling a bit.
"You think you get it," Purcell said, crossing his arms. "The first point of the class is to point out that every economy is at some level naked capitalism. We just put various clothes on it. Unions are naked capitalism clothed in the rhetoric of organized labor."
"You said the U word," Price said.
"I know," Purcell said, grinning. Apollo was death on organized labor. "I'm pretty sure only Paris is listening and he doesn't talk. But one of the things he talks about, once he's gotten everyone understanding the lingo, is Apollo clothing."
"Heard that," Price said, frowning. "I thought it was those shirts you all wear."
"He's . . . inspirational when he talks," the manager said, rubbing the Apollo symbol on his golf shirt. " ‘Apollo was the Greek god of the sun, of philosophy and art and as his burning chariot was the light that brought philosophy and art to the barbarian West, Apollo's first mission is to carry the light of civilization into the Dark. The light of the sun is the clothing of Apollo and it is the clothing of this corporation.' I can't do it. He's got the knack, I don't."
"That's our boss?" the team lead said, chuckling. "Huh."
"The thing is, he's got a different vision from most other corporate heads," Purcell said. "He even admits it's a vision that probably won't last. But the vision extends beyond the next quarter, beyond the next year. ‘Think not of the profit of the moment save to cover the necessary expenses of the corporation. Apollo will be leading the way to the stars long after we are dust. Think, rather, of the next generation. And make me a megacredit in the meantime.' Enlightened self-interest, the importance of safety to the bottom-line . . . He does go on."
"Sounds like it," Price said.
"If I transfer Allen, he's going to have to reestablish himself with a crew and the rate of second term failure on probationary transfers is so high he's unlikely to make the cut," Purcell said. "But Gursy's the type who is going to figure out who did it eventually and up the ante. Which means he'll probably do something that's critically unsafe. I know the type of old. On the other hand, he's already had not one but two transfers. Which means if I request a transfer for incompatibility, he's going to get grounded."
"And then he owes Apollo for the rest of his life," Price said. "I'm not shedding any tears."
"And, again, the rate of repayment of the loans is actually miniscule," Purcell said, sighing. "Think about this, though. In this particular instance, Gursy is the one who was the victim. So I'm penalizing the victim."
"That's a really backward way of looking at it," Price said, his brow furrowing.
"I'm sure that will be Mr. Gursy's argument, or his lawyer's, in the lawsuit," Purcell said, smiling thinly. "But the truth is, I doubt that Mr. Vernon wants people like Gursy in his company and I think he'd probably take to Allen. Even though it is in the best short-term interest of the company to retain Gursy, it is in the best long-term interest, with some risk, to retain Allen."
"So get rid of Gursy and keep Allen?" Price said.
"Since I work for Apollo, yes," Purcell said. "That is in keeping with the overall mission and philosophy. If I was still with Shell or BAE, Allen would be transferred so fast he wouldn't have time to pack. And don't let the door hit you in the ass. As it is, that's what I'm going to have to do with Gursy."
"Drac, I need a quick word with Butch," Price said, sliding into the probie quarters.
"You want me to . . . ?" Vlad said, confused.
"Go get a coke or something," Price said. "This won't take long."
When Vlad was out of the room, Price picked the newbie up by his collar and slammed him against the bulkhead.
"You ever try to pin something like that on me again, I will violate rule Niner-Delta in a way nobody will ever trace and you will be sucking vacuum for the rest of your very short life."
"Yes, Mr. Price," Butch gasped. The team lead was a mountain. Struggling was pointless.
"That being said," Price said, lowering him to the deck, "and an understanding being reached, it was a very slick job. Not quite slick enough, but pretty slick. You also just barely missed being transferred."
"Yes, Mr. Price," Butch said. He knew better than to say "Sorry." It was the worst possible thing to say. You took your chances and you took your lumps if you got caught.
"Gursy is getting transferred," Price said.
"Mr. Price?"
"It was Purcell's call, not mine," Price said. "He's already gone. There's going to be some grumbling but not much. Nobody really liked the asshole. But you'd better keep your nose clean as snow for the rest of your probation. I'll tell the crew it's time to back off. They won't quit, mind you. But they'll back off. Just keep learning your job and keep your nose clean."
"Yes, Mr. Price," Butch said.
"You may call me BFM."
FIVE
"You're not bad for a FUN," Jablonski said, watching as Dana carefully went through the port gravitics relay checklist.
Despite their relatively small size, the Myrmidons were enormously complex. The main power was supplied by a twelve terawatt matter-energy converter located directly behind the engineer station. That drove a repulsor drive capable of pulling four hundred gravities of delta v. Pulling that much acceleration would turn a human to paste, though, so the craft had to have an Inertial Stabilization System, ISS that kept the internal gravity more or less normal. More or less because beyond one hundred gravities of acceleration the system started to fall behind. At full drive, the internals—crew and cargo—were subjected to three gravities of acceleration.
In addition to the drive and ISS, there were four magnetic grapnels capable of localized gradients of over nine hundred gravities. They were designed primarily to lock onto a ship for boarding but from what Dana had heard they were mostly used as ersatz tug systems. The Myrmidons could only "reverse" at sixty gravities so they were better for pushing than pulling. But they got stuff moved in space eventually.
Since you had to get in and out of the boat somehow, there was a forward ramp and airlock system as well as an emergency hatch in the flight compartment. The ramp was for terrestrial landings which very few of the coxswains on the Troy had ever done. For Dana it was just another damned thing to check. Not to mention the "useless as tits on a boar hog" as AJ had pointed out, landing jacks.
Then there was the airlock. Airlocks for more or less Terran sized sophonts, which included Glatun and Horvath, were fairly standardized across
the local arm. The airlock was essentially two hatches with a space a bit shorter than the width of the Myrm between. A squad of Marines could stack up in the space to do an entry.
The hatches were fairly conventional steel with a high-tech sealant and fairly normal wheel-latches. They had to be authorized for opening from the engineer of the boat and checked for closure. The detectors were futzy as hell. And you wanted to make sure the hatches were sealed before you went into the Black. Most of the time, if there was time, the engineer would get out of the flight compartment and do a manual check. Especially if Marines were the ones doing the closure.
Searchlights, shields, double four-terawatt lasers for close-air support, which took up most of the powerplant's output when used, avionics, more super-conductor relays than a terrestrial power-plant, the boat's engineer had to know all of it well enough to, at least, detect faults and report them for repair. In general, with the lack of higher support due to the way the Navy was growing and the lack of bay space on the Troy, most repairs took place in the bay with ENs, Engineer's First Class, and EMs, petty officer Engineering Mates, sweating and cursing in suits.
To make full rate, an engineer apprentice was required to demonstrate that he or, in Dana's case she, could just locate and analyze faults, not repair them. In a suit, in microgravity, in vacuum, in the dark.
And they had to meet minimum standard capability as coxswains in case the cox was disabled during an "evolution."
"Checks completed, EN," Dana said, straightening up and trying to keep from rubbing her back. Checking the gravitics mostly meant bending over for hours. The one good thing about Jablonski was that he barely seemed to notice her as a girl. "No faults detected."
"Check completed, aye," Jablonski said, making a notation on his pad. "No faults detected, aye. Good check."
"Good check, aye," Dana said.
"Break it down," AJ said. "We have mandatory flight fun time this afternoon."