by Jess Bryant
While she slept, he’d looked around the cabin and silently cursed his brother yet again. This cabin had been his. His and Gabe’s. Not Michael’s. But like everything else Rafe had left behind, it seemed his little brother had attempted to claim this too.
He grit his teeth until his jaw hurt as he noticed all the improvements. All the proof that this cabin had been used in his absence. Not just because he could scent his brother. Not just because it was fully furnished, if a tad bit dusty. But because his mate’s scent had been here even before he brought her inside.
She’d come here with Michael and that grated on his already frayed nerves.
It made his head hurt. Made his subconscious ask questions he wasn’t sure he would like the answers to. Because he wanted the best for Zoey, for his mate, and at every turn he seemed to run into proof Michael would have been the better choice for her.
Michael was the one who had stayed. He’d taken over the pack. He’d taken care of everyone. He had the history with Zoey. Decades of friendship and love and devotion. He’d given her a place in the pack and a home. He was the one she’d turned to whenever she had problems and all of her best memories must have been with Michael.
Even in this cabin, there were hints of their time together. Fishing poles tucked in the corner, one of them with a pink lure. The cabinets were full of food he had a vague memory of her eating as a kid. Fruit Loops and Cheetos and other junk food Michael must have bought for her even though he didn’t eat it. There were clothes tucked into the drawers of the chest in the bedroom. Tank tops and shorts and a tiny little string bikini that had made Rafe’s wolf growl at the very thought of his mate wearing so little in front of another. She had things here, scattered all around, as if fate had been preparing this place to become her home.
Only, instead of him, it had been Michael coming here with her.
Rafe shook his head to clear the fog of jealousy that nearly overcame him. No. No. Fate hadn’t gotten it wrong. Zoey was his. She was perfect for him. She was a link to his past, to his brother, perhaps to help him mend what he’d broken. She was his and if she deserved the best then that’s just what he would have to become for her.
She deserved a good man, a good wolf, someone that put others first, had friends, and helped them when he could.
Now that he’d had her, mated her, sealed the first half of the bond, his mind was clearer than it had been since the moment he walked into Noir and scented her. He hadn’t come back here for her. He hadn’t known she was here. She had been a surprise.
He’d come back because he needed to talk to Michael but instead of talking, they’d gotten into an argument, then an all-out brawl. His brother had tranqued him and thrown him in a jail cell. His brother had tried to keep his mate from him and if it had been anyone else he would have ripped him to pieces. He certainly didn’t want to talk to him now but a good man would, and he knew he would have to.
Rafe’s friend was in trouble. He’d asked for help. Leo, an alpha in his own right, had asked Rafe for help and he knew that couldn’t have been easy. Leo was the only friend who’d managed to keep track of him while he was running around feral and wild. He was a good man, a good wolf, and his pack was in trouble. He’d asked Rafe for the aid of the Moirae pack but that wasn’t his to give. Not since he’d given Michael the position of Pack Alpha. But he couldn’t just tell his only friend no either, so he would talk to Michael.
He figured it was only a matter of time until his brother tracked him down anyway.
Michael must know he’d escaped by now, and how. He would start by looking in all of the obvious places. Zoey’s home. Her bakery, which Rafe had stumbled upon while searching her out earlier. He’d check the house and then the woods but he was a smart kid. He’d put it together and know where to find him. In the only place Rafe could still consider home. He was honestly surprised his brother wasn’t beating down the door already.
He could only assume Michael or one of his wolves had found their spot in the woods, or would shortly. They’d scent him and Zoey. They’d scent what they’d done, scent the bond that had been forged, the magic of it. He’d thought that Michael might rush here in a fury over it but of course, that would have been Rafe’s reaction, not his little brothers.
Michael was smart but calm and collected. He would know there was no use barging in tonight. That he couldn’t stop it, stop them, anymore. That he’d failed. He would give them tonight, Rafe knew. He wouldn’t interrupt. They’d be reprieved from his wrath until tomorrow.
Tomorrow. Which only brought the reality of his new situation to the front of his mind. Tomorrow was the full moon. He would shift tomorrow. His wolf would force him to now that he knew his mate needed claiming. And then there would be no holding him back. He would bite Zoey, mark her as his, and seal their fate forever.
He had no control over his wolf when he broke the skin. He hadn’t since that day in the woods when the hunters had destroyed his world. He’d been scarred that day, physically and emotionally, but his wolf had been irreparably damaged.
If Rafe, the man, was half feral, then his wolf was that feral half of him. He was savage and uncontrollable. He saw nothing but threats, everywhere. He was scared and he was dangerous.
Never, not once, had Rafe shifted in the presence of another since that day. It was too risky. He couldn’t put anyone else in danger like that. But he wouldn’t leave Zoey, he couldn’t. She was his mate. Even if he started running now and got as far away as he could, when the moon rose tomorrow night his wolf would head straight for her anyway and when he found her, he’d be in a state of panic, fearful of losing what he knew was his to take, and he’d ravage her if Rafe couldn’t get him under control.
If he couldn’t give him a reason to believe Zoey was already theirs.
Fuck, he cursed under his breath and scrubbed a hand over his face. It was too fast. It was all happening too fast.
He’d only just found her. The heat had forced them both into the human claiming as quickly as possible. But the wolf, the bite, he needed more time. He needed to give the wolf time with her, to learn to trust her, to earn her trust in return. He needed more time but they didn’t have any.
Tomorrow was the full moon and he would shift. The only question was whether or not Zoey would shift with him. It would be safer if she did. If they’d already bonded and she had a wolf of her own to protect her from him if it came to that. But damn it, how could he ask her to give him that, give him everything she was, when he’d left once before already?
Damn it, he didn’t know whether to cry or scream, to hug her close or to run in the other direction.
“Rafe?”
He jerked his head up at the sound of his name. Her voice was rough from sleep, raspy and sexy as hell. He’d wrapped her in a blanket but hadn’t redressed her and she was naked under that quilt. His heart twisted in his chest. He thought anything and everything she ever did or said would be sexy to him. Not just because she was his mate but because she was her.
Zoey.
He’d been of age before he left Noir. He’d felt the pull towards her. He couldn’t deny it, wouldn’t, not anymore.
It had made him feel guilty. Lusting after his brother’s girlfriend. Everyone had known, known, that Zoey and Michael would mate when they came of age.
So he’d tried to ignore the pull he felt towards her. He’d kept his distance from her, and from Michael when he could, because he couldn’t wrap his head around how or why he was so fascinated by her. By her beauty. By her sense of humor. By her intelligence and wit. So when he’d been forced to interact with her he’d hidden it under derision.
She must’ve hated him back then.
He smiled at the thought of telling her about it now. Now, since she was looking at him with that soft, sleepy, look of affection. What he’d have given for her to look at him like that all those years ago. If she had, maybe he would have stayed. But she couldn’t have known, just as he hadn’t, that this was what awaited the
m.
“Rafe?” Her smile faded and her brows furrowed, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He caught her hand when she reached for him and pressed a kiss to each of her fingers. “Nothing at all.”
Her lips flickered but she shook her head as she sat upright, holding the blanket over her chest, so they were face to face where he sat on the coffee table, “I wish I believed that.”
Rafe was captivated by the electricity that jolted through him at her touch. He nuzzled her hand. Moved it so he could stroke her soft skin against his cheek. He wanted his stubble to leave a mark, to mark her in every way that he could. He wanted her scent all over him and his all over her. Rafe found her pulse at her wrist, felt it speed, and couldn’t stop himself from licking over it, lapping at her and taking her scent inside of him.
“Rafe…” His name was almost a moan this time when she said it and he growled, low in his throat, because that was a sound he wanted to hear for the rest of his life. “Rafe, wait…”
He growled when she jerked her hand away from him and she giggled slightly. He met her gaze but despite the sound there wasn’t humor there. She was watching him with those intelligent multi-colored eyes and he sighed, knowing that she wasn’t going to let him ignore her question.
“What’s wrong?” She tilted her head slightly and raised her hand of her own accord to stroke his cheek this time.
He shook his head and raised his palm to cover hers, to keep her touch there, “It’s nothing.”
“It’s not nothing.” She scooted closer to him, “I can feel it, Rafe. I can feel you. It’s the bond. It’s still forming, it’s not complete, but I can feel you already, sense your emotions. Something is wrong and you’re worried.”
“Zo, I don’t want to scare you. Let it be. For now…”
“No.” She stated sharply and firmly, “You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to shut me out and claim it’s for my own good. Not now.” She cupped his face with both hands and forced him to meet her steady gaze, “You claimed me. You said I’m yours. You said you’re mine. That means you have to talk to me. You have to tell me what’s got you so scared.”
Rafe winced, wanting to pull back. He wanted to run. He wanted to turn his back so she couldn’t see it but that was the thing. She wasn’t just seeing it. She could feel it. And no denying it would convince her even if he hated that word because he was scared.
“Rafe, please, you’re not going to scare me away. I promise. Nothing can do that. I feel you, here.” She moved one of her hands to take his and press it to her chest so he could feel her heart beating in time with his, syncing with his as the bond worked between them, “I’m not naïve enough to believe this is love. Not yet. But I care about you and I want you, all of you. You’re already in my heart so don’t break it. Tell me what’s wrong.”
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She was right of course. She deserved to know what she was getting herself into. She deserved to know everything, especially the parts that scared him because they were what would hurt her the worst. The bond was there but to seal it, she had to trust him and to do that, she had to know the truth.
“The bond isn’t fully formed because I didn’t bite you when we mated. I held back.”
Chapter 11
Zoey flinched back as if he’d slapped her when his words landed. They stung and not just because they were a shock. They hurt because she could feel the bond stretching between them, feel the worry and fear that must have been simmering inside of Rafe. The heat, the intense longing, had settled some since they mated but now she could feel everything else he was feeling. Like remorse, and God did that hurt.
She hadn’t wanted this. Just a few hours ago she hadn’t wanted Rafe. She hadn’t wanted a bond to him. Even when she’d felt the need to move towards him at the lodge she hadn’t truly wanted to do it. But the heat had taken over, had made the decision for her and now it was too late.
He was a part of her. Inside of her. In her heart. She could feel him and it hurt… It hurt to think that now that the heat had waned he didn’t want her.
He hadn’t bit her. The words made her head spin. Made everything she thought she knew turn upside down. Because he hadn’t bit her.
No. That wasn’t right. He had. He must have. The heat demanded they bond and it wouldn’t be sated if they hadn’t. But then the little voice in the back of her mind asked how much she really knew about the mating bond of werewolves.
She wasn’t one of them even if she’d grown up around them. And bonds were intimate. Special. They were between the two mates. Not many talked about the magical experience so everything Zoey knew was going off of lore, small-talk and gossip really.
It didn’t matter. She shook off the knowledge that she was in way over her head in this. Rafe had bit her. She knew he had. He’d said that she was his and he was hers. So he must have bit her…
But she raised her hand to her neck and found nothing but smooth, scarless, untouched skin.
Her memory of them in the woods played in a loop. The way he’d laid her down on the soft green grass. The way his eyes had blazed gold as he stripped her naked and followed her down. The heat of his kisses. The softness of his touch. The way he felt moving inside of her. The way her body had stretched to fit him as though it were made for him and him alone.
And yet, her eyes flashed back to his, “You…”
“Didn’t bite you.” Rafe confirmed softly.
She felt her bottom lip tremble, the rush of emotions from the half-formed bond was overwhelming. She couldn’t discern her emotions from Rafe’s. She felt so many different things all at once and she couldn’t seem to hold any of it back. She felt tears well in her eyes and her vision blurred.
“Oh, baby, no… no. Please don’t cry.” Rafe was there instantly, his big, warm hands cupping her face, smoothing her hair back and swiping the lone tear that escaped from her cheek, “Please?”
His touch was soothing yet electric. It sent a surge of need through her but at the same time, it made her want to curl into his arms for comfort. She knew letting him touch her right now would only confuse her emotions more but she couldn’t bring herself to pull away from him.
She wasn’t strong enough.
“I.. I…I don’t understand.” She met his worried gaze and shook her head, “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why?” She demanded more forcefully when he seemed confused, “Why didn’t you bite me? You were supposed to and you didn’t. Do you… do you not want me as your mate? Is it because of the Michael thing or…”
Zoey could feel the panic beginning to clog her throat. He didn’t want her. He’d sated the heat but he didn’t want a mate. He’d given in to it because there was no fighting the magic when it called but he didn’t intend to seal it. Not fully.
This way, he could leave again. Leave Noir. Leave the pack. Leave her.
“Hey. Hey. Shhh.” He cut her off, “No. It’s none of that. No. Don’t even think like that, Zoey. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything. You’re mine. You’re my mate.”
“But…”
“But there are two parts to a claiming. My human half is yours, Zo. That’s why you can feel my emotions. You must feel how much I want you. Right?”
She swallowed hard but managed a nod.
He was right. She could feel him. She was almost certain that it was the rush of his emotions that had woken her up. The conflicting feelings of what he wanted versus what he thought he could have. She could feel him and it felt… right.
Or at least it had until he told her he didn’t bite her. He’d held back and mates weren’t supposed to be able to hold back, not in the midst of a mating bond. It was magic and moonlight. It was strong. Stronger than any other force. But somehow, he’d resisted it and she didn’t, couldn’t, understand why.
“The second half of the bond is the wolf’s claim.” Rafe met her eyes, making sure she was with him, “It’s a big deal to take a wolf�
�s bite, Zoey and I didn’t want to do it in the heat of the moment because there’s no going back from it. Not for either of us.”
“Is there any going back from… this?” She motioned between them, still confused.
Rafe sighed and released her to run a hand over his face, “If you wanted out…”
“I don’t.”
“Me either.” His face softened fractionally, “The bond is there between us but it’s only half formed until my other half claims you as well. I could’ve done it tonight, in the heat of the moment, but I wanted you to have a clear head and know what you’re getting yourself into. I want you to agree to it instead of just having to accept it.”
Zoey blinked but remained quiet instead of asking the dozens of questions on the tips of her tongue. Because Rafe was hurting. It was right there on his face but deeper than that, she could feel how worried he was. He had more to say and he didn’t know how she would take it so she waited for him to find the words.
Rafe finally sighed again, “Do you know what happens when a werewolf bites a human, Zoey?”
“I… uh… a werewolf bite is lethal to a human nine times out of ten.” She shook her head, “But not if the human is mated to the wolf.”
“Right. If the human is mated, what happens?”
“Well, um…” She chewed her bottom lip and shrugged, “I become like you.”
Rafe’s eyes glowed gold with his wolf and he smirked, “Yeah, you become like me. That’s the shorthand. You get a wolf, Zoey. Our bond will create a new wolf inside of you. You’ll be dual natured. You’ll change every full moon. You won’t be human anymore.”
Zoey was still confused, “I know all that, Rafe.”
“Okay… well…” He dropped his head into his hands and didn’t look at her, “What you don’t know is that if the wolf doesn’t do it right, it can be extremely dangerous.”
“Dangerous?” She was about to ask what he was talking about again but he pushed to his feet and paced away.
Rafe was rubbing his face. Scratching his head. His shoulders were tense and everything inside of her told her that he was contemplating walking out the door. Walking away from her because of some perceived threat that she didn’t even know about.