by KB Winters
I’d never told them why I’d wanted it dark like that. And I knew I never would.
I shoved aside all the memories and regrets and distracted myself by stalking into the attached bathroom and stripping off my clothes as the shower water heated up. I slipped past the shower curtain into the shower/tub combo a second before the door swung open and Cooper appeared.
“I’m almost done,” I called out, hurrying to wet my hair. I didn’t know why, but I needed space to breath, and sharing a room—let alone a shower stall—with Cooper would be more than I could handle. At least, at the moment.
The shower curtain pushed back and Cooper—in his entire naked splendor—stepped in to join me. “What’s the hurry?” He asked, a delicious grin spreading across his face. He lowered his mouth to nibble on my wet shoulder, but I jerked away.
“I have to go help with dinner.”
He clenched his jaw, and the irritation radiated off of him. I scrubbed a handful of shampoo through my tangled hair, ignoring the pain as I tugged at the strands. He reached for me, gripping his hands on my hips, and pressed me against the wall. “What’s wrong?” He demanded, his mouth stern, his eyes dark and searing.
“Nothing. I just need some space, that’s all,” I said, looking down between our two naked bodies, unable to hold his penetrating glare.
“Space?” He breathed, almost like a hollow chuckle. “Allie, you just spent two days on a solo motorcycle ride. How much more space could you possible need? What’s really going on?”
“Nothing,” I insisted, trying to sidestep out of his arms.
He firmed his grip on my hips. “Talk to me, Allie. Tell me why you’re pushing me away.”
I looked up, meeting his eyes again, and saw a flash of pain behind his dark stare as our eyes locked. My heart twisted in my chest and I wanted to tell him everything, but something was stopping me. “I’m just tired, that’s all, okay? I’m tired and sore and worried and stressed. That two day ride wasn’t exactly a vacation, you know? I was windblown, soaked to the bone, cold, and miserable the entire fucking time!”
“I know, baby, and I’m sorry about that. I wish you would have let me put you on a plane,” he said, his voice soft as he ran his finger along my jaw line.
I shook him off and glared up at him. “I know, Cooper. I should have taken a plane, should move in with you, should quit my job and just spend my days shopping and lunching or whatever the hell it is rich bitches do. You always know best, don’t you? You have all the answers to how I should be living my life, right?”
Cooper’s head pulled back, away from mine, only a fraction of an inch, but it was like I’d slapped him. “That’s what you think this is about? Me trying to prove something?”
“I think you’re unhappy because I don’t act like the perfect little debutante girlfriend and swoon every time you step in to fix my problems. I think the fact that I’m stubborn and do things my own way drives you insane and you keep trying to stuff me back into some mold I just don’t fit into.”
From the fire in his eyes, I knew he was preparing a retort, but I stepped around him, carefully setting my feet to not slip on the slick tub floor, and pushed past the curtain. I wrapped up in a towel and left the bathroom, shutting the door hard behind me. I dressed in record breaking speed and didn’t bother drying my hair before slipping downstairs to set the table for dinner.
Half an hour later, we were all gathered around the table. Everyone else dug into my mom’s fried chicken, and I loaded my plate with mashed potatoes, cole slaw, and tray of roasted veggies.
The tension between Cooper and I was still there, like a live wire, sparking and zinging through the air, but if Ben and my mom could feel it too, they did a helluva job covering it up. Thankfully, they carried the conversation for the meal, and although I remained locked in the same tense, frustrated mood, everyone else appeared at ease. Even Cooper, who charmed and smiled his way through as my mom told him the history of the small town, local gossip, and even about how she and my dad had met twenty five years ago. At the end of that story, she got a little misty, and abruptly got up and started clearing the table since everyone had stopped eating some time before.
Cooper and Ben hopped up to help, and I piled up the remainder and joined them in the kitchen. My mom shooed us from the kitchen as she filled up the deep sink.
“Mom, please, let me help,” I pleaded with her, grabbing for a sponge.
She sucked in a deep breath and closed her eyes. “Thank you honey, but please, go be with Cooper. I need a few minutes alone.” She looked over at me and through her glistening tears, offered a sad, half-smile.
I nodded silent understanding and set the sponge down. When I left the kitchen, Ben and Cooper were nowhere to be seen. I wrapped my arms around my waist, as though I could keep my stomach from churning. The dinner had been mouthwatering, and I’d eaten way too much, a choice I was now regretting as my full stomach mixed with my unsettled emotions.
Chapter Ten — Allie
I wasn’t ready to face Cooper yet, and I also knew trying to sleep would be pointless. My body was exhausted, but my mind had never been more awake, rumbling with thoughts and worries, so I went outside to get some fresh air. The porch light was on, and when I stepped onto the porch, I saw Ben sitting on the front porch swing, staring out over the yard. He didn’t look up when I opened the front door, and when I sat down on the porch swing next to him, he jolted.
“Sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to scare you. Is it okay if I stay here for a little while?”
He nodded and then looked back where he’d been staring before. I took a deep breath, releasing it slowly as the swing rocked us gently back and forth. When it stilled, I looked over at my brother and sighed, “I hate to even have to ask this question, but where’s Luke?”
Ben’s jaw clenched. “I called him as soon as I got the call from Mom, he didn’t answer—” I scoffed. “—and when he finally got around to returning my voicemail, the next day, he claimed that he’s tied up at some work conference and couldn’t get away.”
“Asshat,” I mumbled under my breath.
Ben nodded in silent agreement. “Basically. I kept thinking I’d get a call or text or something saying he’d changed his mind, and he was on the way after all, but nothing. Radio silence. I’ve texted him every time there’s been an update, so I mean, he knows what’s going on at least.”
I squeezed Ben’s hand. “That’s good. More than I would probably have done.”
Ben didn’t say anything, but kept a hold of my hand as he pushed off the deck and sent us rocking again. It was dark outside and the street was a murky black, only faintly illuminated by the single street light at the four way stop down the road. I wondered how many times Ben and I had sat just like this over the years. We’d always been fairly close, especially bonded in the times when Luke was out of control and battling with our parents. I’d always been a little bit of a wild child, but Luke consistently made me look like an angel, by comparison. I might have died my hair every color of the rainbow and had too many holes in my skin according to my parents and their friends, but I’d never done half the shit Luke had over his high school years. It really was a miracle he hadn’t landed in jail. Among the things that could have been on his rap sheet—shop lifting, underage drinking, street racing, vandalism, trespassing…and I didn’t want to know what else.
Ben, on the other hand, was the light to Luke’s dark. He was a straight A student, lead baritone in the school choir, didn’t have any ink or piercings, dated nice, pretty girls who kept their legs shut till marriage, and was always willing to help out anyone in town when they needed him. From the outside, it was a wonder we’d managed to stay as closely knit as we did, considering how much of a golden boy he’d been. In the past, it had always been something I’d used for ammo in my relentless teasing of him and his straight laced tendencies, but as we sat there, swinging in silence, I was simply grateful to have him beside me. I couldn’t imagine facing this alone.
&
nbsp; “So, tell me about Cooper,” Ben said, breaking through the melancholy silence. He glanced over at me with a crooked smile and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“What would you like to know?” I asked, grinning as I tucked my feet up underneath me. The night air was biting through my thin pajama pants, and I buried my toes under Ben’s thigh for extra warmth.
“Anything, really. He showed up this morning with a huge bag of snacks and drinks for us and helped us all day with whatever we needed, but he didn’t say much, other than to let us know that y’all are together.”
I smiled, running through the mental image of the scene Ben painted with his words, but it faded quickly as I remembered how awful I’d been to Cooper as soon as we’d gotten alone. I hadn’t even said thank you…I pinched my eyes closed for a moment, hating myself for my knee jerk reaction. God, when had I turned into such a bitch?
“It’s kind of a long story, which sounds ridiculous since we really haven’t been together all that long. Let’s see, Reader’s Digest version, he was a client when I was working at an ad agency. He got me a job at his company, Brighton Enterprises, when I was wrongfully terminated from the ad agency. And, I don’t know, one thing kind of led to another, and a few months ago, we decided to pursue our relationship.”
“Well, I know you didn’t ask for it, but you got your big brothers stamp of approval, Al. He seems like a really stand up guy,” Ben offered, smiling over at me.
I held his gaze, seeing so much of my father’s features reflected back at me. “I’m sorry I’ve been so out of the loop since I left.”
Ben looked away, the smile dropping from his lips. He nodded into the darkness, as though gathering his thoughts, before looking back at me. “I get it, Allie. I do. Growing up here was tough for you and I’m sure that it’s a lot easier to sever the ties and not have to think about all of it too much.”
I was thankful he’d left the details unspoken. “It’s easier, but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss you, and mom and dad.” My voice was so soft—my words barely a whisper, almost spoken more to myself than to Ben. He didn’t say anything else, but gave my hand, that was still clasped in his, an extra squeeze.
* * * *
Cooper was lying on the bed, his back propped up against the mountain of pillows my mom had laid out for us. He held a book in his hands, but his eyes were closed and his head was back against the upholstered headboard. Relief flooded over me as I closed the door as softly as possible, and began tiptoeing across the room towards the bathroom, making it halfway there before he jerked awake. “What time is it?” He asked, orientating himself.
“I don’t know, eight or nine, probably.” I grabbed my backpack and dug to the bottom for the pair of pajama pants and tank top I’d packed. I slipped into the bathroom and changed behind the door. When I reappeared, Cooper was staring at me, still lying back on the bed. “I can sleep downstairs,” I offered. “The couch pulls out.”
“Why would you do that?” Cooper snapped, sitting up all the way.
I picked at the lace edge of the tank top, tugging it down to cover the sliver of skin that was exposed. “Because this feels weird right now. I don’t know what to say to you.”
Cooper took a deep breath and then set aside the book that was in his lap and patted a spot on the bed. “Come here.”
My feet were anchored in place. “We need to talk about this, Cooper.”
“What do you think I’m trying to do?” He asked, an edge of frustration creeping into his tone.
I rolled my eyes. “Let’s just say, you have a habit of solving arguments with sex.”
To my surprise, he chuckled under his breath. “Come here, Allie.”
I threw my hands in the air and then crossed over and sat where he gestured. I tucked my legs underneath me and faced him, taking a moment to study his face. In some weird way, it was like seeing him for the first time in a long time. Life had been so crazy lately we hadn’t had much time to really connect and just be. “I’m sorry about being bitchy to you at the hospital. When I first got there and saw you, I was shocked, but also really, really happy. The fact that you left the office and came all the way over here just for me means a lot to me, and I’m sorry I didn’t express that.” I paused, fidgeting with my fingers, unsure of how to bring up the next thing I knew I needed to address. I looked up into Cooper’s expectant face, as though he knew I was brewing something else. “As for the shower stuff, I don’t know. I was upset about a lot of things. I’m still figuring out where that all came from.”
Cooper took my hands in his, stilling the nervous wiggling, and pulled them into his lap. “Allie, I want you to be happy. That’s it. What is it that you want?”
I nibbled the corner of my lip, considering what he’d asked. There were so many possible answers to a seemingly simple question. I wanted my dad to wake up and be okay. I wanted my brother Luke to stop being such a douche-bag. I wanted things to go back the way they were when Cooper and I had first got together. The last thing on the list was the hardest to explain, mostly because I couldn’t pinpoint exactly where things had gone off the rails, all I knew was that things had shifted and it was easier to disengage than it was to try and untangle it all.
“Allie, what do you want? I need to know,” Cooper repeated. His voice was firm, but gentle.
“I want to stop fighting and go back to being us.”
Cooper smiled and pulled me against his chest. He swiped back a stray section of my hair and tucked it behind my ear as my cheek rested on his chest, letting the steady sound of his heart still my own. “That’s what I want too, baby.”
I smiled slightly and basked in the warmth from the spark of hope that sprung to life. It was almost as though I hadn’t fully realized how much I’d missed him, until I was tucked so firmly in his arms again, breathing in his familiar scent, and letting his strength and confidence soak into my skin.
He held me for a long time, both of us relaxing into each other, neither feeling the need for words.
After a while, he shifted, pulling me with him further onto the bed. He leaned down, running his lips along the edge of my jaw line, and my body roared to life. “Now, let’s get to doing what we do best. Hot make up sex,” Cooper growled into my ear.
I laughed, but the sound quickly turned to a low moan as his fingers slipped under the edge of my tank top and teased the pillow soft curves of my cleavage. I covered my mouth, stifling the sound as I remembered—with a flash of embarrassment— my mom and brother could be nearby.
“Cooper—my—family—” He ignored my soft protests, and found the edge of my nipple that was already hard with desire, and I hissed in a gasp of pleasure as my entire body lit on fire at his skilled fingertips.
“Go lock the door, then get your fine ass back over here,” Cooper said, his voice low and seductive.
I giggled and jumped up to go flick the lock on the doorknob. I turned back and watched as he stood and pulled his shirt off, over his head with a single swipe. I’d seen him in the buff a hundred times, and yet, every time he had a way of taking my breath away. I let my eyes linger over every perfectly carved inch, and sucked in a breath as my stomach turned and flipped over. A series of shivers burst into full on fireworks as he unbuttoned the fly on his jeans and began pushing the denim down, lower and lower, revealing the v-lines on either side that I knew led to his magnificently perfect cock. I stared as he shucked off the jeans and kicked them aside. He was still wearing his navy blue boxer briefs, but they did little to hide his arousal.
“Hey, baby, this isn’t a party for one, your turn,” he said, jutting his chin in my direction before flashing a devilish smile that was dripping with suggestion. “Take it off. Every, last, thing.”
I slipped my thin tank top over my head and let it slide down to the floor in slow motion as Cooper watched me, loving the way his eyes went wide and dark. No matter how many times he had me, he always had a way of making me feel like it was the first time, he never rushed and alway
s soaked in every inch of my body, making me forget my flaws and imperfections. He had a way of making me see myself through his eyes, and it was like getting drunk on power and desire when he looked at me with those eyes.
I imitated his earlier performance as I stepped out of my pajama pants, and spun a little so he could see the black lace boyshort panties I’d been hiding underneath.
“Niiiice,” he said, throwing me a wink. “More. I need more. Allie, baby, let me see you.”
I flashed him a naughty smile and took extra time unclasping the lacy plum colored bra before slipping the straps down my arms, freeing one, and then the other, all the while keeping the cups clasped to my chest, hiding my breasts just long enough to drive him crazy. When I finally dropped the lacy garment aside, revealing myself to him, he groaned and crossed the room, sweeping me into a deep, hot kiss. He devoured me with his lips and tongue, leaving me panting and breathless all at once.
“You didn’t let me finish my striptease,” I giggled, when he finally let me catch my breath.
He looked down into my eyes. “I thought I’d give you a hand…”
“Mmm. That works for me,” I answered, smiling at him. I loved the way he made my heart palpitate and my pussy clench with anticipation. He picked me up easily and carried me to the bed. He tossed me gently and I landed with a soft squeal as he lowered himself to me and began a series of slow, hot, kisses along the side of my neck. He worked his way over my collarbone, teasing and sculpting every inch with the tip of his tongue. I arched my back against the bed, the rest of my body screaming for attention. His mouth found my breasts, lavishing every inch with soft kisses, before teasing my tight nipples. He nipped at the sensitive flesh and I bit back a loud moan. Cooper slid down my body, his own brushing lightly against my skin, until his mouth was hovering over the thin layer that separated us. His breath was hot and scorched through my panties. I squirmed and reached for the elastic waist, desperate to remove the final barrier to the pleasure I knew Cooper could deliver, but he stopped my hands and pinned them at my sides, letting his mouth be the only thing touching me.