CHAPTER 11
CARRIE
The piece of land Carl chose to build on was in the perfect place. Shadowed between tall Virginia pine trees and surrounded by beautiful willows and oaks, it lay less than a tenth of a mile away from Momma, and after all the trees were cut down, only fifty feet from the road. Behind it was a creek that reflected the sun, moon, and even the stars on clear nights.
Every Saturday and Sunday afternoon, after everything was in order, all of us went over to Carl’s property and helped him remove the unwanted shrubbery and trees. Momma always said that if one of us had a task, we all lended a hand. I admired that about our family.
One of those afternoons, I walked up to Carl. “Why are you working so hard? Mary’s not going anywhere,” I teased.
“I’m doing what any decent man would do. Besides, I’m ready to be with Mary,” he said. Carl had never spoken with so much emotion about anyone. Until he met Mary, I’d never even seen him look at a girl, even the ones that pursued him, with such love and affection.
“What do you mean you’re ‘ready’?”
“Forget it. You’ll figure it out one day,” he replied, smiling. “So stop asking questions.” He started again slinging the gigantic sickle across the leaves and brush.
“But why—”
“Carrie, can’t we get it done? Why don’t you stop asking so many dern questions?”
“Fine.”
It was a big job, clearing land. I pulled up roots and weeds until my back ached. Sticker briars stuck to my dress and stockings. John steered the mules to turn over the largest weeds and bushes. At times, Mary’s father would also help.
Right after we finished on that particular day, Carl said, “I need everybody’s help. We’ve got to move all of the green stuff lying around into one big pile to be burned.”
Mr. Camm stood up, adjusted his hat and put his hand on his hips. “Mae Lou, I’m gonna ride over to town for a minute. Be back in a little while.” Everyone knew that he was going over to the Watering Hole, a juke joint three miles south of us. Momma did not say a word; she kept on throwing weeds in the big pile.
We didn’t see him again until he staggered in the door around four o’clock in the morning. He was so drunk his scent preceded him into the house, the stink of whiskey and nasty women. His shirt was hanging over his pants, part inside and part out. He didn’t even shut the door behind him. Momma put the latch back on the door, and he staggered in the direction of their bedroom.
“Herman, you are not going to keep coming in my house all times of night,” she told him.
“Oh, come on, baby,” he slurred, bracing the wall for support as he struggled toward their room. When she caught up, he leaned over and kissed her on the neck.
She pushed him away and he slipped, almost falling to the floor.
After their bedroom door closed, I could still hear the rumble of voices battling inside.
“Let me tell you. Ain’t gonna be no staying out all night and then coming home to me.”
“What you talking about, Mae Lou? I love you.”
“Herman, sit down. Take yo’ clothes off and get in the bed. It is almost daybreak.”
“Come on, Mae Lou, you know I love you.”
“Get yo’ hands off me. I can’t tell you what to do. You’s a grown man, but I can’t have you coming in here all times of the night. And if you don’t like it, you gonna have to get out.”
“Mae Lou, let me get some rest. I don’t want to hear this tonight.”
“Listen, Herman, this is my house and I ain’t gonna let you or nobody else bring me down. You gonna have to come home at a decent hour or else.”
“I hear you, Mae Lou, get under the covers.”
“I done told you to get yo’ hands off me. You drunk and you smell.”
The sounds diminished. That scoundrel, I thought, and climbed back in the bed. Every weekend he had some place to go. When the sun went down, that’s when he came alive, hitching the horses up for their twilight stroll to his favorite spot to get drunk. The Watering Hole was noted for loose women and a good time. Momma used to say that only floozies hung out in places like that. I supposed Mr. Camm was one.
The next morning, as Mr. Camm sat down for breakfast, the stench of whiskey braced me like a stiff wind from across the table. I covered my nose and mouth with a napkin to prevent the smell from interfering with the taste of my food.
“I put some water in the bedroom this mo’ning, so you can wash up,” Momma said, her nose turned up. “Whys don’t you go back and wash a little ’til breakfast is ready.”
Mr. Camm smacked his lips and tottered right up from the table, almost knocking the chair to the ground. He mumbled, “I can’t believe this shit,” and walked back to the bedroom.
Five minutes later, he reentered the kitchen. The stench was now subdued and we could eat our food without choking. I wondered to myself about it all. How could Momma put up with such a drunk? I’d known from the start that he would disappoint Momma. I knew it, and those thoughts made my blood warm.
After breakfast, we all headed back to Carl’s land and started clearing the brush. Mr. Camm spent the whole day working with us. I’d always heard that sometimes it’s best to work off a good drunk.
My mind didn’t stay on Mr. Camm for long. A far more handsome helper came along. As soon as I saw him, I murmured, “That man got it all.”
Every time Simon visited Carl, my heart trembled. When our eyes met for the first time, embers of heat kindled throughout my body. His almond eyes were deep-set and magnetic. He was handsome, at least six feet tall, with broad shoulders and built like an athlete. He had perfect teeth that sparkled when the sun hit them, and smooth skin like a cup of coffee blended perfectly with a hint of cream. He and Carl had become the best of friends, and the new house had become their hang-out. For that reason alone, I was elated.
Where had this man been all my life?
This is how it all started. At first he didn’t say much, simply watched me from a distance. I went out of my way to be seen, sashaying in front of him as he helped my brother clear land. At times I stopped to pick up a twig only a few feet away from where he stood, hoping he liked what he saw.
Simon was Mary’s brother, but I’d never seen him in church. He stayed over in a neighboring town taking care of his sick grandma. As much as I hated being in the sun, its rays didn’t seem to burn as hot whenever Simon was around. I made myself extra useful. On the days when Carl worked during the week, I would finish my homework and politely offer my help wherever I could.
“Why are you hanging around here doing extra work every day? You normally try to hide from anything to do with working outside.” Carl smiled when he pulled a handkerchief out of his back pocket and wiped the pearls of sweat dripping down his face. His collar was covered in a ring of wetness.
“Don’t you need help?” I asked.
“I think you’re hanging around here trying to get some attention. Look like you got your eye on Simon.”
“Well, since you mentioned him, does he have a girlfriend?”
“What? Why do you need to know that?”
“Just asking,” I said, acting as if it didn’t matter.
“You better watch yourself,” Carl warned me as if he had taken Papa’s place and I needed his approval to date.
One hot summer day, after working hard, I sat down on a tree trunk to rest. When I lifted my head, I caught a glimpse of Simon staring at me from behind a stack of weeds and twigs. My cheeks flushed and my heart fluttered. When our eyes met, he smiled. I lowered my head, pretending I didn’t notice him. I wasn’t sure if it was his mesmerizing stare or his even white teeth that attracted me. Or was it his chiseled body? It was anything my mind imagined it could be. And I did imagine.
He strolled over to me, his shoulders squared, and my heart started to race.
“I see you here every evening with your brother. You don’t seem like the kind of girl who should be working out in the woods.”
/> I was so shocked when he finally said something to me, I started to stutter.
Because I wasn’t prepared to respond, the silliest things flowed from my lips. I didn’t have any experience with boys.
Whenever the boys at the schoolhouse talked to me, I was always too shy to respond. In my opinion, none of the boys in my class were mature enough to be with me anyway. I liked playing with them, but not when they’d show they liked me by teasing and calling me names, then sneaking around and hitting me on the arm to get my attention. When I got my period, Momma had given me the big sermon about boys. For an hour, she lectured and pointed her finger at me before she was confident I’d finally gotten the message. “Boys can be bad for you,” she said, and her words still lingered in my head. “Don’t let ’em ruin your life. Your focus should be on staying in school and learning all you can. The rest will come in due time.”
“I finished school two years ago,” Simon told me. “Been away for a while. I was in Lynchburg taking care of my sick grandma. Now I’m back down here.”
“Are you glad to be back?”
Carl stopped what he was doing and stood there intently listening to every word that came out of my mouth. I didn’t care, so I turned my head and continued. I wanted to know Simon better.
“Somewhat, but I don’t plan on staying here. I got plans of my own now,” he said. He moved closer and gazed directly in my eyes. And the closer he came, the more I became flustered.
“Me, too,” I managed. “I’m going to leave once I finish school and go away to college. I think I want to settle in a big city, maybe teach school.”
“I hope it’s not too far. I can’t get to know you from too far away,” he said, grinning, and I nearly fainted right there. But I took a deep breath and remained composed.
“Hey, there’s too much work to be playing,” Carl called out.
I picked up a handful of twigs and tossed them into the burning bonfire. Then I walked back over to where Simon was working and continued my conversation. “So what are your plans?”
“I’m trying to get a job with the Negro Leagues. I don’t care if it’s with the Richmond Black Sluggers or that new team, the Birmingham Black Barons. Anybody that will take me, I’m gone.” Then he picked up the sickle, and as he started swinging it like a baseball bat, every chiseled muscle seemed to burst out of his shirt. I caught myself staring.
Momma loved baseball and so did I. Whenever traveling teams came to town, it was a big event. Folks gathered at the empty field for the big game. Families laid out food on the grass. Others dug holes and fired up a barbecue pit, roasting pork and steaming fresh butterfish and trout. Many times we had to vacate our own beds to give the players a place to rest. Momma always welcomed them, since the closest town wouldn’t allow coloreds in their boarding houses. Now a baseball player wanted to talk to me.
I couldn’t wait to go to school the next morning. I had to let Hester and Anna know that I had my eyes on someone. Many times I’d felt left out when we discussed boys. First, it was Hester’s John. Then it was Anna’s James. The one boy who had taken a liking to me was not my type. My brothers teased me because Junior had the biggest front teeth anybody had ever seen. After two years, he finally stopped sending me love notes and tagging me, and started writing another girl. Now, I had Simon to talk about.
He was smooth, too. Sitting in the kitchen with my brothers, I overheard him talking to Carl. Though I was supposed to be in my room, I listened in the hallway.
“What’s with Carrie, man?” Carl asked.
“I like her. She seems to be all right. I’ve been checking her out.”
“Yeah, I’ve noticed. Don’t mess up now,” he warned. “She is my sister.”
“Oh, I won’t. Just want to get to know her and be her friend.”
“Come on now, just friends.”
Simon let out a chuckle. “Man, I’ve only had one conversation with your sister so far. I promise I’ll be respectful.”
“You better be.”
Simon laughed again. “Was I hard on you when you came to the house to see Mary?”
“That was different.”
“Okay, if you say so. I do want to know her better, though.”
Our friendship started growing, and the only person who couldn’t tell was Momma.
In class I begged, “Hester, you’ve got to meet this guy.”
“Okay, but I can’t come this evening. It’s a school night, and my parents would have a fit if I went to your house after school. I’m already in trouble with them for coming in after the sun went down.”
“What happened?”
“John and I took a walk and it took a little too long. My parents chewed me out. Momma even swore, told me she was going to kick my ass.”
“I hope they’re not still mad.”
“No, they’re okay now, but I don’t want do that again on a weekday.”
“How about you come after church on Sunday?”
A smile appeared on her lips. “I’ll have to because you won’t shut up until I do. This guy has done something to you. You didn’t act like this when Junior was after you,” she said, giggling.
“This guy is different. He’s mature and handsome. You’ve got to tell me what you think.”
“If I told you I didn’t like him, would you stop seeing him?”
I knew that wasn’t possible. “I wouldn’t say that.”
“I know you wouldn’t, so trust your own gut when it comes to your feelings.”
“I will, but you’re my best friend.”
Hester’s shoes were covered with dust when she made it to our house that Sunday; in lieu of going home, she’d walked the two miles to our house alone, because I asked. I gave her one of my plain dresses to put on since she’d messed up her church clothes.
“Where is he?”
“He’s not here,” I said, hoping he’d show up.
Carl didn’t wait on anybody; he’d already started laying the foundation for his house when John joined him. Hester, Momma, and me joined them and started adding more weeds and shrubbery to the pile already stacked over two feet high.
We had been hard at work for over an hour before Simon came. I was so anxious to see him, I blurted out, “You finally made it,” as if he owed me an explanation. He was ready to work, dressed in overalls, a straw hat and all. My pulse jumped even seeing him in common clothes.
“Yeah, I couldn’t let my future brother-in-law down. He’s got too much to do. Besides, my sister needs a nice place to live,” he answered, smiling at Carl.
“That’s right, get to work. You’re late,” Carl teased. Then he placed his hands on his back, took a deep breath and went right back laying stones for the foundation.
Hester touched me on the shoulder and whispered in my ear, “Yes, he is gorgeous, but not as handsome as John.” We both giggled like we did every day in the schoolyard.
Momma was amazingly strong. And even though she only weighed a good one hundred ten pounds soaking wet, she had the strength of a bull. She was right beside us working as hard as any of the men—so hard she didn’t even notice Hester and me giggling like a couple of laughing hyenas. If she had, she would have given us her infamous stern and cold look, which meant disapproval.
Mr. Camm found a shaded tree and propped himself up against its trunk. From behind the swaying tree limb and leaves, he intensely eyed Hester from across the yard. Everywhere she moved, his eyes would follow, as a hungry dog does its prey. He panned her frame, as he’d done me, from head to toe. And he didn’t stop when he saw Momma looking. I felt sorry for her, because she had been exposed to something that embarrassed me and I wanted this to remain a family secret.
Hester turned toward me. “Your stepfather is staring at me. What is wrong with him?”
“Ignore him,” I said.
“I would, but he is making me nervous. I sure hope he don’t stare at every young girl he comes in contact with,” she said, and rolled her eyes his way.
&n
bsp; “He does. So don’t pay him any attention; he does that to everybody. It’s creepy, though.”
“I hope he know it is impolite to stare at someone so hard.”
“Oh, forget about him.”
He was the last person I wanted to talk about. When I turned, he was still staring. He was a low-down skunk who couldn’t be embarrassed.
Soon the sun began to slide beneath the clouds and paint the sky ginger. John made sure that Hester got home before dark. He took her home in our buggy and returned as the sky turned gray and the crickets started singing.
Still, we kept working. When everyone was hot, I volunteered to go for water. Simon said he’d help, too. Clearing land was a laborious job, and everyone was thirsty. When we made it to the house, we rested on the Davenport in the front room. Without any warning, Simon grabbed my fingers and clenched them. Then he reached over and kissed me on the lips.
It was my first kiss. So romantic and pure.
CHAPTER 12
PEARL
My home had been the nightclubs of Washington, D.C., filled with stories told through the rhythm of the blues. And now the blues were real. It had been years since I had crossed my mother’s doorstep. When I first left, I missed my family and their support, but after a while I became used to the independence. Now I was headed back to a place I had despised since I saw the first street pole with a lantern in Washington, at sixteen years of age. As I traveled south into Virginia, I thought about the career I had left behind and the men who I allowed to have such a great influence in my life.
I knew little about Herman, only that we were born in the same hometown. I couldn’t even remember his family, had heard the last name Camm mentioned only once. Like most people who lived out in the country, we were isolated. My best friend was my older sister, and my only male contact back then was my brother, who ignored us girls and treated us pretty bad.
Willie, on the other hand, had a sister who was five years older and lived in Washington. Before Willie left for the service, we would often visit her, but since his return, we had not seen her at all. In only a month, my routine had been completely muddled up and now I was headed back to a place I no longer knew.
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