Strangely, Angelique felt totally removed from what might be her mother’s fate if she proved to be a traitor to her country and sovereign.
Angelique had spent years feeling responsible for her widowed mother following the death of her father. She had, in part, stilted and narrowed her own life because of that sense of obligation.
She had no close friends. How could she have when Lady Jacqueline always accompanied her everywhere?
Lady Jacqueline’s presence in the house had also affected Angelique’s closeness with her husband, the two of them not even able to have a conversation at the dinner table without her mother interrupting.
The only place Angelique and Nik had truly connected was in Nik’s bedchamber, the one place Lady Jacqueline was forbidden to enter.
Now even that was tarnished after the revelation of Nik having made love to her in Kent, all the time believing Angelique was a traitor to everything he cherished.
They had nothing left, Angelique realized. Her husband was no more than a stranger to her. A handsome stranger to whom she physically responded, admittedly, but so many things had conspired to make them no more than that.
“Angelique—”
She lifted a hand in warning as her husband would have approached her, fearing she might break down completely if Nik touched her or showed her the slightest gentleness.
Or possibly start screaming and be unable to stop.
For now, she had to remain in control of herself, would think about the best way to end her marriage after her mother had been found.
There was absolutely no reason why she and Nik should not do as many other couples in Society did and maintain two separate households, and only come together for events they could not avoid. As Angelique and Nik had no children, those times they spent together could be kept to a minimum.
That way, Nik could maintain as many mistresses as he pleased, and Angelique could live her life without the dominant influence of either her mother or her husband.
Nik had absolutely no idea what thoughts were going through his wife’s head, except to know, from the coldness of Angelique’s expression, they must be unpleasant ones. Understandably so, if it transpired Lady Jacqueline was the woman the Sinners had all been searching for these past six months.
Except Nik sensed it was so much more than that.
Angelique had not even glanced in his direction since turning from her contemplation out the window. It was as if she could no longer bear to look at him. If that was the case, Nik knew it was something he fully deserved.
Quite what that meant for their future together, he did not know.
Or if they even had a future.
His doubts and treatment of her these past few days told him that would now be for Angelique to decide.
“I suggest that the two of you leave now and prepare for your wedding.” Angelique spoke directly to Lady Prudence and Romney. “I am sure His Grace and I can now see to the necessity of finding my mother,” she added in a hard voice.
Nik was unsure whether that hardness was directed toward him or Lady Jacqueline. Possibly both, considering Angelique had referred to him so formally. “I agree.” He nodded to the other couple. “I appreciate all that the two of you have done, yesterday and this morning, but now it is time for you both to concentrate on your wedding. I am sure you understand why neither I nor Angelique will be attending?” he added ruefully.
“But—”
“Come, my love.” Romney took a firm hold of Lady Prudence’s arm. “We still have much to do, and Nik and Angelique could do with some privacy,” he added as his betrothed would have protested further.
“Oh.” Prudence gave them both an awkward grimace. “Of course.” She gave a brief curtsey. “But if you do need us for anything—”
“They won’t,” Romney assured her as, after a brief bow, he guided her from the room.
Leaving a cold and stilted silence behind them.
The coldness emanated from Angelique, and it was Nik who was at a complete loss as to how to proceed. Angelique appeared so brittle, even fragile, that it seemed as if she might shatter if he did or said the wrong thing.
And so he said and did nothing, waiting for her to take the lead in what happened next.
She finally drew in a deep and controlling breath. “Well, at least I now have the answer to your strange behavior these past six months.” She gave a humorless laugh. “I think I might almost have preferred it to be a mistress!”
“What?”
“Having no other explanation for your distant behavior, I believed you to have taken a mistress.”
“I would never—”
“It is no longer important,” she dismissed wearily.
“Angel, I—” He broke off as Angelique pierced him with a furious glare.
“You no longer have the right to call me that,” she informed him coldly. “Your priority now—our priority is to locate and question my mother.”
“You believe her guilty?”
“Don’t you?”
Now that it had been pointed out to him, yes, Nik did believe that. He had been so busy all these years being annoyed and irritated by Lady Jaqueline’s presence in his marriage that he had missed her as being the ninth woman who could have committed treason. As had they all. They now had Lady Prudence to thank for finally realizing the truth of it.
Which was of absolutely no help with the estrangement he sensed now existed between himself and Angelique.
How would he feel in her place?
How had he felt when she revealed she had erroneously believed his having taken a mistress was the reason for his cold and distant behavior toward her?
Insulted. Betrayed. Furious.
Angelique was now all of those things and more, and for a far deeper reason.
It was the more which bothered Nik the most.
He was more convinced than ever that Angelique had made a decision minutes ago before she turned from staring out the window. One she had not yet chosen to share with him, but which Nik instinctively knew he would dislike when he heard it. Almost as much he now hated this distance between them.
As much as Angelique had hated the distance he had put between them for six long months.
Perhaps, once they had seen to her mother’s arrest, the two of them might be able to discuss this situation calmly and logically rather than with heightened emotions. “Do you have any idea where Lady Jacqueline might have gone?” he prompted.
“That depends on whether or not Lord Holmes is also involved,” she answered slowly.
Nik’s brows rose. “Do you think he could be?”
She shot him a scornful glance. “Now you choose to consult with me on the matter?”
“Angel-ique,” he finished as she gave another narrow-eyed glare. “I could not discuss this with you before now.”
She snorted her disgust. “Romney had no such qualms where Lady Prudence is concerned. Nor, it would seem, did any of your other friends, considering they are now all married to the lady they investigated.”
“It is not the same—”
“I agree, it is not the same at all. I was already your wife,” she snapped. “The woman you had promised to cherish and honor above all others, and yet you—” She broke off. “Never mind,” she dismissed shortly. “I believe the best place to start looking for my mother would be Lord Holmes’s lodgings. If you give me a few minutes, I will go to my room and change into something more suitable for outside before—”
“I am not sure it is safe for you to accompany me—”
“And I have no intention of playing the dutiful wife any longer and being left behind,” she snapped.
“Playing the dutiful wife?” Nik repeated softly.
Her chin rose. “Hasn’t all of our marriage been playacting? You, the cold but politely attentive husband, me, the vivacious but dutiful wife? It seems we were both of us only true to ourselves in the bedchamber.”
Nik knew their physical requirements had
always been well matched. More so for him than they had ever been with any other woman. He and Angelique had always caught fire together there, until the flames burned out of control and consumed them both.
Now leaving only ashes in their wake?
The cool and distant manner in which Angelique now looked and spoke to him appeared to say that was the case.
She was angry with him right now. Very angry with him. But once that anger had passed…
The coolness and distance would still exist, Nik realized. An ever-widening estrangement between the two of them that would become more and more difficult to breach the longer it continued.
Despite the death of his parents when he was very young, having no siblings, and a disinterested uncle as his guardian, most things in Nik’s life had come easily to him. His title and wealth had seen to that. Even offering for Angelique and having that offer accepted had not proved difficult, for the same reasons.
He had not, Nik now realized, ever had to fight for anything or anyone he truly wanted.
As he now wanted Angelique to continue being his wife.
His mouth thinned. “I will go to my own room to freshen up and change, and then we can both be on our way to Holmes’s lodgings.”
The quicker he could get this situation over and done with, the sooner he would be able to address this estrangement between himself and Angelique.
Chapter 12
Angelique felt as if a gauzy barrier had fallen between herself and the rest of the world. One that prevented her from feeling deep emotion and, in return, any strong emotions from touching her.
Emotions such as the puzzled confusion on her husband’s face as he sat opposite her in the silence of the ducal carriage on their way to Lord Holmes’s lodgings. Nik had tried making polite conversation initially, but having received only yes and no answers from her, he had eventually fallen silent.
As far as Angelique was concerned, they had nothing left to say to each other.
At only twenty-three, her life was, to all intents and purposes, over. Oh, she would remain the Duchess of Stonewell in name, and no doubt Nik was powerful enough to ensure she still received invitations to Society events, despite what her mother might or might not be guilty of. But Angelique’s private life would primarily be spent alone. Even the thought of eventually taking a lover made her feel ill.
What would be the point when she already knew such a relationship could never match what she’d once had with Nik.
Physically, they were more than compatible. It was only on an emotional level they had failed utterly to trust or connect.
Only?
It was now obvious to Angelique that reciprocal love in a relationship was everything.
Love gave understanding.
Love allowed for forgiveness.
Nik’s toward her.
Her own toward Nik.
Without it, there could be nothing.
She remember being excited and flattered when she learned the Duke of Stonewell had offered for her and her mother had accepted on her behalf. How much she had admired and looked up to her husband on their wedding day. How she had fallen even deeper in love with him on their wedding night, when he took her to unimagined heights of ecstasy.
But Nik had never shown the slightest interest in hearing her feelings for him, let alone reciprocating them, and so Angelique had kept those emotions to herself. But that did not mean she hadn’t felt them. Until these past six months, she knew she had been deeply in love with her husband. The months when Nik had chosen to no longer share a bed with her or make love to her and instead began chipping away her confidence in their marriage each time he was cold or indifferent toward her.
Now knowing the reason for that behavior only made it worse.
“How much damage did my mother actually do?” she prompted abruptly.
“A great deal,” Nik revealed.
“Tell me.”
“The information she provided was instrumental in arranging for Napoleon’s escape from Elba and all the death and destruction that followed.”
Angelique flinched. “Will she hang for her crimes?”
Nik winced, reluctant to answer. Not because he had any doubt Lady Jacqueline would hang, but because he did not wish to hurt Angelique any more than he already had.
Angelique’s face was pale beneath her green bonnet, increasing the fragility of her appearance. Her skin appeared translucent, like delicate glass that had been blown so thin, it would shatter at his slightest touch.
Something that was not even a possibility when she had earlier refused even to take his arm to assist her into the carriage, let alone sit beside him once they were inside.
“Do not try to spare my feelings on the matter,” Angelique advised at his lack of a reply. “I assure you, I am well past the stage of your needing to soften any blows on my mother’s behalf.”
“She will hang,” he acknowledged grimly.
She nodded. “It is what she deserves.”
“Angelique—”
“I would prefer you do not touch me,” she stated evenly as he would have reached across the carriage to grasp her gloved hands in his.
Nik sat back abruptly. “Will you not even try to see this from my point of view? I assure you, these past six months have not been easy ones for me either.”
She looked at him with unemotional green eyes. “You are the arrogant and powerful Duke of Stonewell. I am sure your reputation will survive the shame now brought upon you by your mother-in-law’s actions.”
Nik scowled his displeasure. “Fuck my reputation—”
“We have arrived,” Angelique announced as the carriage came to a halt.
Nik stared at his wife’s profile as she looked out the window, realizing the cold and distant woman seated opposite him was a stranger to him. Angelique had always been so…animated and vivacious, and with an anticipation and excitement for life which Nik now realized he had not only taken for granted but had been able to appreciate secondhand, and so brightening his own day. Even the dinner parties and balls he abhorred had not been so dull and boring when spent in Angelique’s company. Nothing had been as dull and boring when enjoyed in her company.
He doubted the woman Angelique was now, so calm and controlled, would even respond to the voice of command he used when the two of them were alone together in his bedchamber.
She was so removed from him, and at the same time so achingly familiar and beautiful, it was all Nik could do to stop himself from bending her over the carriage seat and fucking her until that mask of control snapped and she felt something. Any emotion, including anger or disgust, would be preferable to this polite stranger she now presented to him.
He rose from the seat as the groom opened the door for them to alight. “I think it would be for the best if you were to wait for me here,” he said softly.
“I am sure a great many people value your opinion on any number of matters, but I am no longer one of them,” Angelique dismissed coolly as she followed him from the carriage.
Nik bit back his annoyance as Angelique stood beside him on the cobbled road, reluctant to make a scene in front of the groom. “Then you will take your lead from me,” he bit out as he took a firm hold of her elbow.
She gave an inclination of her head. “Of course.”
Nik’s eyes narrowed as he searched her face for the sarcasm he sensed beneath her acquiescence. Her impassive expression was distinctly unhelpful. “The two of us are going to talk when we return to Stonewell House,” he told her through gritted teeth as they approached the front door of Holmes’s lodgings.
“As is your wish, Your Grace.”
“Do not make the mistake”—his fingers tightened on her elbow as he came to a halt on the pathway, his grip hard enough to leave several bruises to go along with the others inflicted during their night of passion together before he left Stonewell Park yesterday—“of thinking I will allow you to continue to talk to or address me with the politeness of an acquaintance
.”
A warning and a tone of voice that told Angelique she was still capable of feeling at least one emotion.
Anger.
Anger at the notion Nik still thought he had the right to speak to her that way or allow her to do or say anything.
As quickly as that anger had flared into life, it died, to be replaced by the previous numbness of her emotions.
It was, Angelique realized, akin to the all-consuming grief she had suffered after her father died.
Because her marriage was now also dead.
If so, how silly of her to be so heartbroken as to grieve for something which had existed only in her own mind in the first place.
Nik’s reasons for marrying her had always been obvious. He had been aged two and thirty and in need of a duchess, and Miss Angelique Kingston was beautiful and accomplished enough as a hostess to fulfill that role.
Oh, Angelique did not doubt Nik had enjoyed the physical side of their marriage, but he would easily find that again with any woman willing to submit to his demands in the bedchamber.
She must accept she had been nothing more to Nik than a gracious wife and obedient lover. One, moreover, who was not even capable of giving him an heir to the dukedom.
Would Angelique feel differently now if they’d had a child together?
Possibly.
But it had not happened in three years, and now it never would.
Besides, Nik had assured her he was glad they did not have a child together. Now knowing he felt that way because of his suspicion toward her in no way lessened the hurt of his words.
She gave a haughty lift of her chin. “I suggest we forget our personal differences for the moment and concentrate on the matter at hand, namely locating my mother.”
The manner of Angelique’s reply told Nik that, as he had suspected, she was no longer responding to the command of his tone.
That possibly the breach in their marriage really was irreparable.
He was not willing to accept that.
He would never be willing to accept that.
“You will allow me to take the lead in the conversation,” he instructed after knocking on the front door of the house he had been informed was where Holmes had taken lodgings.
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