Keep Me

by Faith Andrews

  “Which one? You’ve had your eye on a lot of them.”

  She was right. I did have my eye on a lot of them and my hands all over most of them too, but there was only one I couldn’t stop thinking about these days. I knew it would surprise Riley when I told her who. “Tessie Spano. I’ve always wanted to see her in a bikini.” I could lick my lips just thinking about it.

  “Tessa? Seriously, Marcus? First of all, she’s known you since you were a little kid… gross. Second of all, she’s been through enough shit. I don’t need you screwing with her too! We know your track record.”

  “Oh please, maybe a little fun with me is what she needs. I got this vibe when I ran into her the other day… she was checking out your little bro’s goods.” Sure, my ego was a bit over inflated these days, but I knew enough to see when a girl was interested. Tessa was eyeing me like a piece of meat. A grown up, not-your-best-friend’s-little-brother-anymore piece of meat.

  “Get over yourself, Marcus. I already warned her about you, anyway.” Just as the words escaped her big mouth, her hand flew up to cover it.

  “Ah-ha! So she did mention me! What did she say? You have to tell me.”

  Now it was Riley’s turn to attempt to back away, but I had her right where I wanted her. There was no escaping me – Dad wouldn’t be able to hear her pleas over his after-supper snoring fest. I’d tickle her to death if I had to, and no one would be the wiser.

  I inched closer to her with my outstretched hands and my fingers wiggling in the air. She hated tickle torture and as childish as it was, I always got my way when the claws came out.

  “Please. Stop. You know I hate that shit, Marcus. How old are you, anyway? Grow the eff up!”

  “Tell me or I do it.”

  “No.”

  “Then you leave me no choice.” I lunged at her with no mercy.

  “All right, all right!” At the first bit of contact with her stomach she was wriggling and confessing. “Yes, she asked about you. She couldn’t believe…”

  “Couldn’t believe what?” I asked with my wiggling fingers close to her armpit.

  “That you were so hot. Okay? There! I said it! Tessa Bradley thinks you’re hot. Are you happy now?”

  Yes, I was happy about that for some reason. Why did I care what Tessa Bradley thought of me now? I used to care. I used to fantasize about kissing her. At that point, I had never been kissed and wanted someone as beautiful as Tessa to show me how. But an eighteen-year-old bombshell wasn’t about to give a pimply thirteen-year-old the time of day, no matter how much I’d made her laugh. But now… I wasn’t that pimply thirteen-year-old anymore. Tessa however, was still that gorgeous knock-out who had the ability to take my breath away.

  “Wipe that grin off your face, Marcus. She’s off limits. I just got my friend back and I don’t need you making her run away again.”

  What I wanted to say was, maybe I don’t intend on running her off. But I wasn’t ready for the weight that phrase held. I was the one-and-done guy. I didn’t want them to linger, in fact, I hated when they tried. But something deep down in my wicked little core told me that if I had a taste of Tessa, one night would not be enough.

  “Yeah, you’re probably right. She’s a good girl. I’ll stay away.”

  Well, that was the plan. Fate, however, had a different one in store for me on Monday morning.

  “We’ve got to stop meeting like this.” She looked even hotter than she had the other day. Damn, this was going to be hard. But I owed it to my sister, and more than that, I owed it to Tessa. She was always such a nice girl, she deserved a nice guy.

  “Nah, I kinda like it.” Well, that didn’t sound like a guy who’s supposed to stay away, did it?

  She smiled, delight radiated across her entire face. I could get used to doing that to her. And so many other things…

  “Another meeting today? What kind of shoot do they have you lined up for now?”

  Of all the times for it not to be one of the cool, glamorous, edgy gigs. “A small commercial spot. Nothing crazy.”

  “Oh yeah? For what?”

  “Wild West.” I mumbled under my breath. I prayed she had no idea what I was talking about.

  “Get the hell! The cologne? They put me on that account. Gary’s assistant is on maternity leave. I’m the replacement.”

  She had to be shitting me. I tilted my head and lowered my eyes at her, “Come on. Really?”

  She held her hand up to her heart. “Swear it. How crazy is that? I get to see you in action now.” She gave me a wink that was anything but innocent.

  I swallowed back the uncomfortable dryness that had taken over my tongue. I would love for her to see me in action—just not while donning a fucking cowboy hat and chaps. Okay, I take that back. As long as it would be fulfilling one of her fantasies, I’d love for her to see me in action, in a cowboy hat and chaps. I couldn’t even try to hide the smirk that stretched across my lips.

  “What? What’s so funny?” She obviously caught the smirk.

  “Nothing. Let’s just get to work, okay?”

  “Okay… cowboy.”

  When she said the word I nearly spit my Starbucks across the room. Shit! This chick could read my thoughts. This was bound to be dangerous.

  Holy hell, this was going to be dangerous. He looked dangerous, though a Stetson and a pair of ripped jeans didn’t usually scream danger. Cowboys were heroes, they rescued damsels in distress. But this cowboy… he was causing my mind and my heart rate serious freaking distress.

  “Okay, that’s a wrap!” The director yelled just as I wiped the drool from my mouth.

  I stood there holding my phone, Gary’s iPad and had the woman’s version of a hard-on, staring at little Marcus Grayson moseying on along to the trailer to change. Part of me wanted to follow him and help him out of those jeans. What the hell am I thinking? He’s my friend’s little brother.

  “Tessa. Can I have my notes?” Gary’s sudden request startled me out of my daydream.

  “Sure,” I said, handing him the tablet.

  “So what did you think?”

  I was sure he didn’t want my total honesty. What did I think? I think Wild West will sell millions of units just because of the spokesperson… because he’s fucking scrumptious. “I think it went well, don’t you?”

  “Very well. Marcus is a natural. A real pain in the ass, but the camera loves him and the feeling’s mutual.”

  “Yeah, I get that too. Kind of a love affair going on there.” The idea of a love affair and Marcus in the same sentence… back to drooling.

  “You two seem chummy, but be careful, honey. I know I’m overstepping here, but at GX we’re all friends and I like you so I feel the need to warn you. He’s got a reputation. I wouldn’t be surprised if his make-up artist comes out of the trailer reeking of Wild West.”

  What was I supposed to say to that? I knew at any other work place that would be weird, but I loved the casual, friendly vibe of GX. I needed something like that back in my life. So I just shrugged and nodded, as if taking his advice. “Gotcha. But I kind of know him… well I knew him when he was younger. He’s my friend’s little brother. We just recently got back in touch.”

  “Ah, well then you’re probably safe. He’s not a total ass and when it comes to his sister… let’s just say I know she keeps him in check.” He went back to swiping at his iPad, making notes and scanning through the uploaded photos.

  I turned to walk away, not sure what my next duty was, when Gary stopped me. “Hey, Tess… you did great today. We’re done here and I won’t be back to the office for a while, so you can head home, call it a day.”

  I felt my face brighten, a smile curling at my lips just thinking about scooping up Luca early from the daycare. I missed watching him sleep during his afternoon naps and feeding him a bottle in the rocking chair in his bedroom. “You sure, Gary? Isn’t there anything else for me to do here?”

  He barely lifted his head from his work, but I caught a glimpse of a win
k as he ushered me away with his free hand. “Go on, get outta here. See ya tomorrow.”

  I could hardly keep from skipping to my car—the faster I got to my Luca man the better. I took out my phone to call the daycare and inform them of my early arrival, and noticed I had three missed calls. The number was unfamiliar to me—an out of town area code—so I checked to see if I had any voicemails—nothing. My suspicions raised, I pressed the button to return the call.

  When the voice on the other line answered, “Serenity Falls Rehab, how can I help you?” I stopped dead in my tracks and nearly dropped the phone.

  “Whoa, whoa there, Tessie Spano. You look like you’ve seen a ghost. You okay?”

  Shit, Marcus! He doesn’t need to know about this. I rudely hung up on the kind-sounding woman on the other end and readjusted myself. “Um, yes, I’m fine.” Think of something less… truthful. “Message from the bank. Forgot to pay the damn mortgage again.” I shook my head, rolling my eyes. So now instead of sounding like a woman scorned I sounded like a flat broke deadbeat.

  “Don’t you hate when that happens? Damn hawks track you down if you’re a minute late. I think they’ve gotten used to my antics by now. My credit’s shot to shit, but they stopped hounding me.” He gave me a wink as if a flash of his perfectly white smile and his smoldering stare could wash away all my issues. God, I wish they could. “Gary let you go early? Want to grab a bite to eat?”

  For one irrational minute I thought about taking him up on his enticing offer; being around him and Riley made me forget all the nastiness of the Zack years. But I had my heart set on spending time with Luca. What kind of mother would I be to abandon my son for a lunch date with Marcus? Plus I had shit to iron out—namely, I had to call the rehab to find out why in the hell they were contacting me.

  “Another time maybe? I want to pick up my son a little early and watch him sleep.” I was sure it sounded ridiculous, but I didn’t care. I needed a Luca fix, especially after that unexpected phone call.

  He paused for a moment, speculating. Maybe even making sure I wasn’t just feeding him some line to avoid him. “Promise?” He raised one groomed eyebrow over a sinfully grey eye, pouting his luscious lips.

  How could I say no to that? “Promise.”

  After notifying the daycare that I was on my way, I took a deep breath and dialed the rehab’s number again.

  “Serenity Falls Rehab, how can I help you?”

  I took another calming breath, not sure I wanted the answer to my question. “Yes, hi, this is Tessa Bradley… or, er, Tessa Brentwood. I received a few missed calls from this number. Are you contacting me about your patient, Zack Brentwood?” I hated saying his name. I hated thinking they had anything to tell me… unless. Could he be? “Is he still…?”

  “Hold on one second, Mrs. Brentwood.”

  Nope! I was no longer bound to that man. She needed to be corrected. “It’s Ms. Bradley. He is my ex-husband. In fact, there were strict instructions that I no longer be contacted regarding his progress, unless… unless, of course, he’s dead.” It was odd how saying it didn’t make me feel anything. Although I did feel an ounce of hopefulness at the possibility.

  “Please, Ms. Bradley. Let me see if I can find his case worker. We’ll figure this out.”

  I waited in silence at the red light, ticked that I had to deal with this at all. My insides were turning and my blood was boiling, thinking about all the terror and humiliation that monster put me through. What a naïve moron I was not to see the signs from the beginning. He was possessive even on our first date, “Baby, you look hot, but please don’t ever wear something so revealing in public again. For my eyes only, okay?”

  I was a certifiable moron then. I thought it was a compliment, a turn-on even. It was the first of many comments that would strip away my sense of self. And the comments weren’t the worst part. Those left scars—the invisible kind—but I’d had my fair share of the visible ones, too. The ones I had to hide and cover up day in and day out. Make excuses for, lose friendships over.

  Before my mind could dart back to another unpleasant memory, the receptionist was back. “Ms. Bradley?”

  “Yes, I’m here.”

  “I spoke with Mr. Brentwood’s case worker and no one from the facility has tried to contact you. We are all aware of the existence of the restraining order and the instructions regarding contact with you. We do apologize for any inconvenience, but there must have been a mistake…”

  No. It wasn’t a mistake. It meant that Zack was very much alive and had tried to contact me himself. Guess it was time to change my number… again. This time I wouldn’t notify the rehab of my new contact information, though. I was tired of doing this—of changing things about my life for a man who was no longer a part of it. “Please make sure his case worker reiterates the restrictions to him again. I’m sorry to have troubled you. You have a nice day.” I hung up the phone, not even caring that I had been short with the nice woman. Anything or anyone that had something to do with Zack made me defensive.

  I held on to my sweet baby boy a little longer than usual before putting him down in his crib for his nap. I absorbed his innocent beauty, in awe of his chubby cheeks and the soft tufts of his sparse brown hair. What a beautiful creation. To think he came from something so… ugly was unimaginable.

  I tiptoed to the baby monitor, turned it on and walked out of his room, leaving the door open the slightest bit. The comfort of my son almost made me forget how unnerved I felt a little while ago, but it also made me cognizant of what I had to do to protect us. The distance once made me feel safe, but being a mere phone call away made it feel like we were still within his reach. Snap out of it, Tessa. He’s gone. Change your number and forget about it, like you’ve always done.

  Maybe I just needed a night out. A good distraction. That lunch date with Marcus suddenly felt like the cure, but the more realistic part of me knew that was just more trouble I didn’t need. Marcus was also dangerous, though in a totally different way. A really good way.

  But no matter how good it might feel to get lost in Marcus and his flirtatious ways, he was forbidden fruit to me. Riley warned me about him and I needed to heed her advice. I wish I’d listened when she cautioned me about Zack… it would’ve saved me a lot of hardship.

  Thinking about her made me want to see her again. We’d had a great time the other night—as if no time had passed, as if my ghosts from the past were out haunting someone else. I needed another night like that. I hoped she was up to hanging out with me and Luca… she mentioned wanting to get to know him better, too. And even though a nice dinner in a fancy restaurant sounded really appealing, the unsettling feelings that loomed over me from this afternoon had me wanting to stay close to Luca.

  Wanna have dinner at my place tonight? Luca wants to meet you.

  I didn’t even have time to put the cell phone down before it was buzzing back with a response.

  Be there at 7:00. Can’t wait!

  At precisely seven o’clock the doorbell rang. I opened the door, toting Luca in one arm, to a very cheerful Riley. She offered up a bottle of wine in exchange for my son. I went along with the uneven exchange and so did my pleasant baby boy. You could hand him over to the mailman and he wouldn’t complain.

  Luca drooled and grinned in all his adorable gumminess and Riley ate it right up. “Look, Tess. He loves me already!”

  I didn’t want to burst her bubble and tell her that he loved everyone so I just agreed. “Yes, he’s in love! He’s a real ladies man. Now come in already… can’t have you two drooling over each other in the doorway all night.”

  She bounced him up and down on her hip maternally as she walked into the family room. “Wow, Tess. I love your place. It’s so… you.”

  I didn’t know whether to take that as a compliment or not. Riley knew the latest trends and current designs.

  “Really? Does it meet the FIT standards or are you just pulling my leg?”

  She placed a wriggly Luca down on h
is alphabet play mat and continued to peruse my home. Her eyes seemed to dance with enchantment, taking in the calm, sage color of the walls. “No seriously. It’s beautiful. So warm and inviting yet classy and stylish. You had no help with this, Tessa? This is all you?”

  Now she had to be exaggerating. I threw things together, made it my own, erased any evidence of the life I had with Zack, and called it a day. There was no involvement of color swatches and coordinating patterns. This was just how I had envisioned my happy home. The complete opposite of the way it was while he lived here. “Yup. All me. I guess you approve.”

  “Definitely approve. I may incorporate some of your ideas into this one client’s palette. She would love this paint color.”

  I watched as she admired everything, even the mess of Luca’s toys all over the once immaculate family room. I never understood the reason for a museum-like room. It was called a family room for a reason. Zack hadn’t gotten that memo, I guess. “Well, I’m glad you like it. I’ll show you the rest later on. Let me go open this wine. Keep an eye on Luca man for a sec?”

  “Of course.” She popped off her flats and sat down next to him, Indian style. She focused so intently on him, smiling at all the little things he did. We hadn’t touched on why she wasn’t a mom yet, or married or even dating for that matter. Maybe tonight.

  As I walked into the kitchen I yelled back to her, “You hungry?”

  “Starved,” she yelled back.

  “Good. I made pasta and broccoli, Luca’s favorite.”

  “Yum,” she sang over and over again, in a silly baby voice. I heard Luca giggling. He really was warming up to her. It was no surprise, Riley was good people. I needed to surround myself with good people.

  Pigsty was right. Mom was surely rolling in her grave. Everything was still in its rightful place, but the sheets and plastic coverings did diddly squat to keep the summer house free of the thick layer of compact dust, grime and filth.