I can barely catch my breath and gently lower her to the stairs.
I lay on top of her grinding my hips against her hips. I can feel her rising tension as she moves her crotch wildly against me. Higher. Higher. Trying to reach heaven.
“Your room or mine?” I whisper into her ear in ragged breaths.
I would have taken Ronni on the stairs if it had not been so uncomfortable for her. It hurts to climb off her. I throb with desire and crave relief. I want my sister-in-law more than I have ever wanted any woman. If she denies me now I cannot be responsible for what I might do anyway.
“Jayden, are you there?” His voice nearly blew my eardrum.
“Uh, yeah, you were saying, Brad?”
“You promised me two weeks minimum. Why switch back now with only three days left to go? Is Ronni nagging you to death, her screechy voice making you want to run back to Canada with your tail between your legs?”
No, make that flee back to Canada with my dick between my legs and not inside your wife. She is touching herself, playing with her clit, knowing that I am watching. And I am kneeling outside her door, my eye in the keyhole, jacking off. How sick is that, huh? Please help me here, Brad! I am falling into hell. I vacillate between wanting to kill your wife or screw her for torturing me into a horny teenager with cum in my pants as she shakes her booty up the stairs, wearing a short skirt, for my benefit, I hope. Please help me here, Brad! Geez, my hands shake just thinking about your wife. “Uh, alright, a month more,” I agreed like a weak adolescent teenage boy. If I had a wife, I would never have suggested to Brad that we change places. You would think with his warped sense of humor, he would be curious whether Ronni and I were getting along with me posing as her husband. I thought the masquerade funny and was laughing behind her back. Contrarily, panic tightened my chest. She is your sister-in-law. Leave the woman alone!
All Brad said was, “Another month, good. Man up! I do not care if you slap my wife, dude. We twins have to stick together. No woman should ever come between us.”
“Uh, sure,” I said in the high-pitched, screechy voice he accused Ronni of having. We both hung up at the same time, getting on each other’s nerves.
I dropped my head on my desk and groaned. Another month of hell! I should have run back home and kicked Brad out of my house. In doing so, thousands of miles would be between temptations of having sex with my sister-in-law.
Brad never asked about Traci. Yeah, I should have been a pediatrician. It turned out I was good with the munchkins. On the other hand, her mother was turning me into a pervert. I was always the good boy, the excellent student, the exceptional son, the great boss. This switcheroo was changing my morals. Married women have always been off limits but the excitement of the forbidden was a powerful draw. This insatiable lust needed to stop. A man always wanted what he should not have, what is bad for him, dangerous, and taboo but a brother’s wife was not even on the charts.
Then it seemed like my problems were over when Ronni started dressing like a nun, but going all the way with a nun must be more taboo than doing a sister-in-law, right? I could see me butt naked with a priest’s collar choking my neck and her wearing just a nun’s headpiece.
To make matters worse, Ronni started going out and it all blew up in my face, or I should say blew up in my pants in the back seat of Brad’s car. And Ronni said I don’t play fair? She has been the one performing stripteases when she knew I was spying. These sex games between us must cease. My sister-in-law twisted my insides with self-loathing and wanting.
Ronni scared the bejesus out of me when she said that we have to visit Brad’s parents.
Note: Tell Brad to avoid my folks.
Note: Quit being sacrilegious about the Catholic Church.
Note: Remember Austin is not big enough for both Ronni and me. Quit confusing yourself with her husband. Quit lusting after your brother’s wife. Keep your willy in your pants.
Yup, the zipperoo was yanked up all the way to my belly button. Maybe I should just buy me a chastity belt and throw away the key. Yeah, during the Renaissance, the Age of Enlightenment, men used to lock up their woman’s crotch. Nowadays, there were chastity belts designed for both men and women practicing BDSM, which stood for: Bondage Domination Submission Masochism. I have never been involved in BDSM but a friend of mine enjoyed lying on his back while his girlfriend poured stripes of different colored, piping-hot wax across his chest. His blistering colorful skin made him feel like he was somewhere under the rainbow. His dominatrix handcuffed him while she did this and locked his big toes in thumbcuffs—sounded like a real good time.
At least Traci liked me.
Note: The kid liked Brad. Traci liked her father, remember, moron? Do not get caught up in the family thing. You always have been and always will be an island.
Chapter 32
BRAD
I am a master of deception and excel at masquerading as my twin. Whenever someone calls me by Jayden’s name, I do not even twitch. Jayden, on the other hand, is a neurotic pussy. I had to reassure him repeatedly about meeting my parents.
Mother sees the world through shot glasses so she will not focus on differences between us, if any. Father might ask Jayden a personal question and then take a deep breath, before yapping about something else before Jayden can respond. The old man mostly speaks to walls and trees and never to me.
I have always been a Christmas tree ornament to my adoptive parents. My summers were spent at baseball camp, football camp, basketball camp, astronaut camp, Boy Scout camp, get-in-touch-with-feelings camp, and anger camp in Phoenix, my favorite desert where they sent me every year July, the hottest most pissed off month. My parents even sent me to one of those camps for kids allergic to sunlight. They drew fake freckles all over me so I would resemble one of the Children of the Night, kids with XP. I walked around with my eyes closed during the day and my skin marked up with a fake pigmentation disorder. The Children of the Night camp was fun until they expelled me for biting one of the kids on the neck and trying to suck his blood out.
Against Jayden’s orders, I drive over to see his folks. The so-called farm turns out to be a measly 11 acres, the size of a small cemetery. His parents come at me like zombies wanting to eat my brains, they are that happy to see their son. No wonder Jayden is like Woody from Toy Story. Who’s my puppet? I conned Jayden into trading places. Am I the man or what?
Really, Jayden has all his childhood pets lined up at the farm with little headstones and names like Bingo. What kind of fairy names his dog Bingo, like the old farm song B-I-N-G-O? B-I-N-G-O. B-I-N-G-O. And Jayden is his name.
My one dog was Brutus; now that is a dog name. One Christmas break from boarding school, Brutus died while being operated on so his ears would be pointy. I am a huge Star Trek fan and turning Brutus into Spock was supposed to be my Christmas present.
My brother’s condominium is a penthouse located in the Westside Village near downtown Victoria and the inner harbor. His bachelor pad is right out of GQ, lucky dope. My butt is freezing in Canada since the temperature is in the 60’s during the day and June no less. Ha! Jayden’s balls must be melting in Austin, especially since he is so worried about visiting my parents.
His condo is so frickin’ pristine, his shoes lined up military style, shirts starched crisp, pants pressed with a sharp crease, and not a dirty stitch of clothing or speck of dust anywhere. My end of our deal is to ditch his girlfriend for him, but Vanessa is a smoking hot redhead. There is such a thing as before-breakup sex, but then Vanessa has to go and ruin our sex life by whining. “You seem off, Jayden. You’re not as good in bed as you usually are.”
Me not as good in the sack as my brother?
“Next time we make love maybe you should try a little harder. Something’s missing.”
I feel like choking her. No way in hell can Jayden be better in bed—our equipment is the exact same size.
Vanessa licks her lips. “Well.” She tosses her head back. “You usually don’t finish so fa
st and just leave me hanging. This is the first time I didn’t...”
I sit on Vanessa’s chest, shoving my flaccid member into her mouth.
Vanessa gags and I push her off the bed. “Go home, right now, you twat!”
Vanessa scampers from the room, dressing as she is fleeing.
I rest my cheek on my brother’s pillow, thinking of throwing Jayden’s toys back in his toy box and flying back to Austin. Instead, I call him to cheer me up. “How’s Pussy treating you?”
The dude sounds as if he is choking on dick and with him being so neat, he may be.
“You know, Pussy, my cat?” I remind him.
“Yeah, right, Pussy the cat. Pussy wakes me up in the morning by licking my balls and nipples. Cat thinks I’m its mama.” He chuckles.
“That cat really hates me!”
“You sound jealous, Brad.”
“What? Of your balls? Mine are much bigger, dude.”
“Yeah, but mine are prettier.”
There is an uncomfortable silence between us and then Jayden gargles in a soulful voice, “I wish I could turn back time.”
“To before you agreed to our masquerade or to when we were one egg in our mother’s womb, one person, sharing one heartbeat?”
He changes the subject. “Have you broken up with Vanessa yet?”
“Oops there is another call coming in,” and I grind my thumb into the End Call button.
The caller-id on my phone is pulsing like an orgasm. An addiction to a woman is worse than gambling, alcohol, what have you, and I am not talking just being pussy whipped. Throw in the heart, the soul and…Barbie punched me in the gut seven years ago and then left me. I cannot remember now what our fight was about, but she threw her engagement ring in my beer glass. I was so sloshed that I swallowed the ring.
We eventually kissed, made up, and planned a wedding. Our coming nuptials were even posted in the Austin American Statesman.
Ronni would have remained my dirty little secret if not for her jailbait pregnancy. A man can get rid of a wife but not a daughter. A child is for life, even an unplanned daughter.
Ah, my screwed up life does not matter anyway. There are two deaths standing in the way of me ever marrying Barbie—her husband and my wife.
I press the answer button and my voice drops to my lap. “Hello, love of my life.”
Barbie has a breathy, sex-kitten voice she perfected in high school. “Brad,” she breathes into the phone. “Slam your baseball bat into me! Catch my muffin with your mitt!”
My pants are smoking at the video Barbie just texted me. She is lying on her feathered bed with her blonde hair spread out on a peacock pillow and legs spread open, thighs quivering, hips humping, arms outstretched in invitation.
Barbie sticking the cell phone up her nasty and me talking dirty inside her should be a commercial:
“Phone sex with our cellular phone is crisper than any of our competition.
Can you hear me now, beaver?
How about now, puss?”
Chapter 33
JAYDEN
Brad yelled into the phone, “Did you fuck her?”
I lied. “God, no! I wasn’t intimate with your wi…”
“If you touched, Barbie, I’ll kill you, Jayden! Barbie said she hated me and never wanted to see me again. She accused me of bonking every streetwalker in Philly. What did you tell her?”
“I told your whore I had the clap.” I smiled at the expletives at the other end of the phone line.
“Dammit, Jayden, the clap? How long am I supposed to swear off sex with Barbie while waiting to be disease free? Barbie is no whore; she’s a lady”
“What was I supposed to do? The lady came into your office, begging me for it.”
There was an ominous silence at the end of the phone line.
“You still did not answer me, Jayden. Have you had sex with Barbie?”
“The mention of the clap was enough to scare her off me. How would a married woman explain the clap to her husband, huh? She believed I was you, Brad. You are confusing us. I am supposed to be you, remember? I had to tell her something. Barbie was all over me.”
There was an expulsion of breath at the other end of the line and some muttering.
“She threw me for a loop when she barged into your office. You never told me about Barbie. Disclosure, Brad. Disclosure.”
“You have anything to do with Barbie, and I’ll rip your face right off your skull! I’ll tear your head off!”
“That’s a bit harsh. What happened to, ‘no woman should come between us’?” I quoted his words back at him.
“Barbie is not a woman. She is a goddess.”
“I don’t want Barbie,” I said in a weary voice. What about your wife? Don’t you care if I ball Ronni? I slept with your wife last night! Please tell me you want to come home because I am too weak where you wife is concerned to suggest we switch back.
My brother sulked like a spoiled child. Finally, he said, “I’m going to have to hang low in Canada for a week past our agreement to figure out what to do about this mess you made with Barbie.”
“Fine,” I hastily agreed, needing to figure out things for myself, such as why the prospect of staying in Austin longer made my heart quicken. “Just quit taking off in the middle of the day and abandoning my patients, you got that, Dr. O’Boyle?”
“I only did it twice,” Brad said, again like a sulking kid.
I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. “Twice is too much. I’m over here looking after your patients and I expect the same professional courtesy.”
“Well I expect some courtesy where Barbie is concerned.”
“Barbie is a different animal altogether. You withheld information, Brad. I knew nothing about your mistress. She totally threw me off guard. You talk about me ruining things for you with Barbie, well you...”
“Yes?” His voice was ice cold.
I snapped my mouth shut, almost confessing to Brad that he blew things between his wife and me by having phone sex with Barbie and Ronni thought it was I. My sixth sense warned me to keep quiet about Ronni. “Since we’re being candid, Brandy threw herself at me.”
“Don’t tell Barbie anything about Brandy, got that?”
“Okay, but what about Vanessa? Have you slept with her pretending to be me?” My tone of voice warned him, do not get me in deeper with Vanessa, my soon-to-be ex-sort-of-girlfriend, and I will leave your girlfriends alone.
“I confess to balling her once, grew bored, and ignored her ever since,” he answered.
“You’re sending Vanessa mixed signals by going to bed with her, Brad. You promised to break up with her for me.”
“I gave Vanessa the best lay she’s ever had in her life, and then treated her badly so she’ll hate you. And what do you do, brother? You turn Barbie off me. Barbie is not Vanessa. She is important to me. Barbie and I have a connection you would never understand in a million years.”
“Right.” I made a gesture in the air like jerking off.
“So you return the favor, okay, brother?”
“I already did, by telling your girlfriend I have the clap, I turned off Barbie like you turned off Vanessa.”
“I meant the opposite,” he yelled. “I can’t have a rift between her and me!”
“Well, if you don’t want Barbie to seduce me, she needs to believe you’re diseased.”
“Barbie is not coming onto you!”
“By the way,” I added, “Traci is doing fine. Your daughter is growing like a weed.”
He laughed. “Good comparison.”
I wanted to shake my brother. “She’s a good kid. You’re a lucky man.”
“I’ve got to go. Hope you’re having as much fun as I am.”
“Yeah, it’s a riot being you,” I responded in a flat voice.
The idiot chuckled as though I gave him a compliment.
I stared at the dead phone, thinking about the questions Brad should have asked. “By the way, did you fornicate with my wife?
How was she in bed? Did you get her off or is Ronni as cold with you as she is with me?”
I sighed and closed my eyes, desperately needing sleep. I aim at windmills here obsessing over Ronni’s and Brad’s sex life as husband and wife, lamenting a bed I shouldn’t covet again, a wife who is not mine, and a wedding ring that does not belong to me.
Only you’re not her husband! Shut up, you bastard, and quit thinking like that. Maybe you should have taken Brandy up on her offer if you needed sex so badly.
Only Brandy was not as taboo as Ronni. Brandy was not so desirable.
What did Ronni have that made me want her so much, to the point that it was painful, yet a joyous, awful ache between my legs? My heart pounded painfully against my chest because I might hurt my brother’s feelings if I continued to sleep with his wife.
Ah, now I get it. No wonder Ronni was so mad about the phone sex call. She knows about Barbie. Jesus, now I do not feel so guilty about seducing Brad’s wife.
My only other defense was that I never lived with a woman, so close and handy but forbidden, and devastatingly attractive.
Chapter 34
JAYDEN
Ronni mumbled, “Good night, Brad,” and slept in my arms.
Good night, Brad? I kissed her cheek as if my gentleness would make my vile acts all better, such as climbing into her bed by apologizing for all the bad things Brad ever did to her.
Why did sex have to be so damn good with my sister-in-law? I could have picked up any number of willing women at a bar on Sixth Street or elsewhere. I have lied so many times just to get a woman into bed. My biggest fib lay in bed beside me—Good night, Brad.
Don’t let your bed lies bite you, Jayden. I should have corrected Ronni when she screamed out the name “Brad” when we were making lo…having sex. I certainly could not inform her after the act when she said “Good night, Brad,” that oh, by the way, my name is really Jayden and I’m your brother-in-law. How would that be for an introduction?
I’m damned for sleeping with my brother’s wife, but she really won’t get hurt This was just sex between a husband and a wife. Ronni won’t find out she really slept with her husband’s twin brother unless Brad tells her.
Dishonor Thy Wife Page 12