The parking spot was dark and deserted. Maybe self-consciously I chose to be alone in the dark with her. Things were already so wrong between us what did it matter? If she thought me a monster, then why not be one? Why not act like an animal with her in my black Mercedes where she was practically tied to the seat to get her to be alone with me?
Her proximity and the smallness of our surroundings made my head spin. The air in the car was narrow and I could smell her sweat pouring into my own skin mixing with my own body fluids, causing my blood to pound even harder, to rush even faster. There. To the center of my being, to that part of my universe that wanted, needed, so desperately to make love to her.
My heavy breathing must have signaled my intentions. She grabbed the door handle but I was faster. I pushed the lock button on the driver's seat and then the child-lock button, trapping her.
She mewed in fright when I turned on the seat to face her, the leather of the seat squeaking like her heart.
I pinched her chin, twisting her head to look at me. “Say my name.” My voice sounded as if my tongue was swollen. “Say it.”
“Jay...Jayden.” My name came out like a moan.
I unbuckled my seat belt and reached an arm across, unbuckling her belt. I left my hand on her hip, and her breathing grew shallow, hot, raspy.
I massaged her hip feeling the heat of her skin through her skirt. She was burning up for me.
I pulled her towards me and she did not resist.
I lowered my head to hers, gently kissing her lips.
She surprised me by clutching my shoulders and pushing her mouth tighter against my lips, shoving her tongue in my mouth. She reached for my belt buckle.
Ah, she is horny hot, burning up for me. I poked beneath her skirt and she ripped my shirt open.
She was moist and weeping, wanting more, as if she could not get enough of me. She whimpered, begging me to make love to her, humping her crotch against my hand.
I crawled over the armrest, pushed the seat down, and lay on top of her, grinding against her. “Ronni,” I breathed into her ear. “Say that you want me, Jayden. Let me hear the words. Say it. Say my name.”
She lifted her hands and pounded my back with weak fists. She was not resisting me. Her hits were fuck-me punches. Her fists began to slow even as the lower half of her body grew stronger and pushed towards me. She craved me inside her and her leg moved between mine.
My fingers crawled beneath the band of her panties rubbing her until she was panting, nearly crying. I removed my hand and she begged me not to stop.
I rested my weight on the seat and she grabbed me by my shirt, pulling me even closer. “I...want you, Jayden. Please.”
“Say that you need me as much as I need you,” I said in a raw voice. “Say it. Say my name.”
“Damn you, Jayden,” she moaned. “Damn you for touching me. Damn you for your lips against my neck, your hand rubbing my hair, your body pressing into mine. Damn you for your smell. Your touch.”
I was assaulting her senses, knocking down her defenses. She was moist there, crying there for me, wanting more of me, all of me. I humped against her, making sure she felt my arousal rubbing against her clit almost bringing her to the summit and then I stopped moving.
“I...I need you, Jayden. Please. Please.” She pushed her body upwards towards me, begging me, breathless, her chest heaving, her fingers pulling at me, grabbing me, trying to force me to make love to her.
I was not stupid enough to ruin the moment by trying to make her say she loved me. Instead, I gave her what she wanted, what she was begging him for, what we both needed.
And it seemed right. The act was beautiful. It seemed like love, unlike seduction, until she said the words...
“I hate you, Jayden.” She spit the words at me when we were both sated, while she straightened her clothes.
I cringed at her words while zipping up my pants. My hands shook because though I may have the power to make her want me, she had the power to hurt me, to cut my heart in two. I was tired, so damned tired.
I slammed my fist on the unlock button of the car, and before Ronni could open the door I leaped out of the seat and was already there, yanking her door open. “Get out,” I told her a lot rougher than intended.
Ronni would have tripped over my shoes had I not taken a step back to avoid any contact.
I hung my head like a kicked dog and tucked my shirt into my pants. I continued to look at the pavement and said, “Don’t be frightened of me, Ronni. I would never intentionally hurt you.”
“You already have,” she said and slammed the car door. She was crying.
I heard her tears and felt her sorrow cutting me like a knife. I could not look at her as I shuffled around the car with my head bowed low and shoulders slumped. I wanted to let her know how much I loved her, but Ronni acted as though I took her against her will. Why did I always feel such guilt with this woman, even now that she knew whom I really was? Ronni had begged me to make love to her. She called me by my name. She begged Jayden to take her.
I pounded the steering wheel with my fist instead of beating my head. What devil came over me that I seduced her—again? Why did I have to prove my power over her? Because she hurt me by saying, she could never love me.
My own eyes were damp when I started up the car. I sped away and left Ronni standing in the parking lot, hugging her purse to her breast, watching me leave her.
As if she gives a damn about me, I thought, wallowing in self-pity. I did not even tell her good night. I just used her like some cheap whore and then kicked her out of the car. Yeah, I really love you, Ronni. I made her feel dirty, like a lusty teenager with raging hormones, in my car of all places, my black Mercedes, the devil's car. I swore to take the car in tomorrow and trade it in!
Only…only, the upholstery now smelled like Ronni.
Oh, Jesus, now what! I could not get the picture out of my mind of Ronni limping in the parking lot over to the hotel because like a tarnished Cinderella, she left behind one high-heel shoe in my car.
One shoe to kick me in the ass and make me feel like an even bigger heel than I already was!
Chapter 73
RONNI
The hotel staff stares with raised eyebrows as I stagger into the hotel with one shoe on.
I hope my other shoe kicks him in the balls, as I should have.
My hair is in disarray, my clothes wrinkled, my mascara smeared, my cheeks wet with tears, and I am puffing on an asthma inhaler. I hate him for making me weak and damn myself for wearing a skirt that made me so accessible. My body betrayed me again, ready and willing to let the enemy crawl inside me. Instead, I should have kicked his butt for all his lies. My self-respect vanishes when around him, the way he makes me lose control.
I jerk off my high-heel and throw the shoe across the hallway.
In my room, I stuff the skirt and blouse in the trash. If not for the fire monitor in the room, I would burn the material.
While he was driving, I should never have brought up Barbie again, accusing him of lying about having sex phone with her as if I am a jealous fishwife. I am always vulnerable where Barbie is concerned, even now when she is out on bail for murdering Brad. Jayden denied Barbie once again and said, “She's not exquisite, you are. My brother was the biggest fool who ever lived to prefer Barbie to you. I have not slept with any other women since meeting you, Ronni, not in Austin or Canada. I do not want any other woman.” My heart flipped at his words even though Jayden stared at me with eyes as blue as Brad’s eyes had been, the same eyes of my dead, cheating husband.
He said Brad’s name with such hatred. I had thought their relationship closer and my visions of Brad and Jayden, their heads together laughing about me, changed. Jayden sounded as if there was no love lost between him and Brad, and I believed his words of wanting only me, and thought he does have a heart after all. With his hair sticking up from his head like a little kid, he looked younger, more approachable and so he seduced me again.
I scrub my skin of his touch.
Damn him and his lovemaking, his expertise with women, his cockiness, and his velvet tongue spewing words made of rose petals.
Damn the sparkle in his eye when my body first betrayed an unbearable lust for him.
I lean my forehead against the shower stall, cooling my brain, trying to stop my heart from beating so fast. Oh, God, and to think all this time he was my brother-in-law! He did not even say good night. Good-bye! See you later, Ronni! Have a good life, woman! He just threw me out of his car.
I huddle on the shower floor, hugging my knees and letting the hot water run out.
Ah, the cold water feels good. I am still so frickin' hot.
I lay down on the wet tile in the fetus position, thinking of spending the night in the shower with cold water for company.
My skin breaks out in goosebumps, my hair is soaking wet, and frigid water splashes me. It is only the thought of dying from pneumonia and leaving Traci an orphan that makes me rise to my knees.
I dry my hair with the dryer and blow my body with the heat, trying to warm up, my teeth chattering in my stupid head.
I wish to God I had never come to Canada, and left Jayden Tremblay buried with Brad.
You enjoyed every second of our lovemaking. You screamed out for more every time. You could not get enough of me. Admit it, Ronni.
I rub my cheek against the damp pillow.
I thought you were my husband.
I thought you were my husband.
Chapter 74
RONNI
Riley is waiting for me at the front door with a huge grin on her face.
“What's so funny?” I do not mean to snap at her but sleep eluded me last night and the flight was a bumpy ride.
Riley drags me into the den and points to a magnificent flora arrangement on the table. “These came for you, this morning.”
There are bouquets of red, white, and black roses—blood, virginity, death. Only one man of my acquaintance prefers the red, white, and the black. The colors sum up my brother-in-law, make that ex-brother-in-law. I never got the chance to divorce Brad and am actually his widow, but prefer to think of Brad as my ex because the thought of being related to Jayden Tremblay in any way, is upsetting, to say the least.
Riley yanks the heart-shaped note from the flowers, shoving the paper under my nose.
Please accept my apologies, Mrs. O’Boyle, but your beauty swept me away.
Always.
Dr. Jayden Tremblay
Riley peeks over my shoulder. “What happened between you and the Canadian doctor that he was swept away?”
Jayden is not really apologizing for last night. He is boasting like a proud cock. Riley will hound me forever so I give her the skimpiest details about Jayden being Brad’s identical twin. “Oh, quit looking at me like that. Yes, it was Dr. Tremblay sleeping in my bed pretending to be Brad.”
“Do you want me to throw out the flowers then?”
“Yes,” and I run up the stairs before she can see my tears.
Several days later, a high-heel is delivered in a silver box. The asshole even has the nerve to put the shoe on a purple velvet cushion, along with a note: Here is your shoe. I thought you might be missing its soul mate. As always, your prince.
Ha-ha very funny! The prince of darkness mailed me my wayward shoe, which no longer matches its mate. The shoe Jayden sent is polished with a new heel hammered on. What a creep! He sprinkled aftershave on the shoe, and now I cannot get his smell out of my head, Eau de Diablo. What kind of man does that to a woman he kicked out of his car after screwing her?
My intention is to throw the pair of shoes away but when I pop open the lid of the trashcan, one hand shoves the shoe that smells like Jayden to my nose, and my left hand hugs the other shoe to my chest. My head hangs low and my nostrils dip into the shoe and inhale the scent of my brother-in-law. I giggle at his note and cheekiness. Creep, I think but a bit kinder, a tad gentler...
Until Jayden sends me another package, this time delivered by a lawyer.
The legal document proclaims that Dr. Jayden Tremblay is suing Ronni O’Boyle for visitation rights of his niece, Traci O’Boyle, the daughter of his recently deceased brother, Brad O’Boyle.
“Can he do this?” I ask his lawyer and lick my lips because my mouth dries up like a prune.
“Dr. Tremblay can spend his money on many frivolous lawsuits, including paying me to stand on your doorstep in case you have questions.”
“You said the lawsuit is frivolous, implying he doesn’t have a leg to stand on.”
“Ah, contraire, Mrs. O’Boyle. Dr. Tremblay has two legs to stand on. He is your dead husband's only blood relative besides your daughter. He is the only blood link to her father. He is…”
“Please don’t go on; I get your point.”
“Dr. Tremblay has every legal right to see his niece.”
“No. No! This is a nightmare. I cannot have this man in my life. I can't, I...”
“Have a good day.” He slams my door in my face.
I burn the high-heels in a bonfire in the backyard, dancing around the fire and shaking my head like a crazy woman. I even shuffle around the circle using Zumba moves.
“It's hard ain't it?” Riley cracks her gum as we watch the flames and smell the burning scent of leather shoes. She appears more amused than sorry for me. In fact, Riley is laughing. “The idea of visitation rights makes you so uncomfortable because he is your brother-in-law and you've slept with him. Jayden Tremblay is like having an ex-husband. Honey, Brad, did not die after all; you divorced him as Jayden.”
I feel dizzy, about to pass out. “He wants visitation rights until Traci is 18. That’s nearly 12 years of him coming over here.”
“Well, is he willing to pay child support for the privilege?”
“Of course not. Traci's support is not an uncle’s responsibility. Traci does not even know she has an uncle. Oh, God, what do I tell Traci? This would really screw her up if he wins in court.”
“The man lives in Canada. What is the worst that can happen?”
“He flies to Austin and visits Traci once a year.” I plop down on the couch, gripping my sweating armpit. I shall have to hire a lawyer, and Brad left a mound of gambling debts, and an expensive drug habit. By the time his estate was settled, there was not even money left to send Traci to college. Brad's parents will not help. Viola and Melvin disowned Traci. They blame me for not being a good wife and forcing Brad to marry another woman.
Brad's indebtedness is the main reason a For Sale sign is on the front yard. With the equity, I plan to buy a smaller house in a cheaper neighborhood. I removed Traci from private school. She is happier in public school any way. I have one more semester of dental assistant school but if I hire a lawyer because of Jayden Tremblay, I shall have to quit school and get a job.
Chapter 75
RONNI
About three months to the day Jayden sues for visitation rights, we sit in a courtroom in Austin at opposing tables. I do not mention Jayden’s impersonation of Brad and pretend to have never met him before. More than once during the proceedings Jayden cocks his head at me with a curious expression and I sneer at him.
We have both given our points of view on the subject of Traci's only blood relation on her father's side being allowed to be a presence in her life. Jayden’s lawyer ends his presentation with the words, “And what blood can be thicker than that of an identical twin brother?”
The judge puts on his spectacles and I wait with baited breath for his ruling. Jayden merely plays with a pencil, acting as if he does not care either way.
“In the case of Jayden Tremblay versus Ronni O’Boyle,” the judge says in a booming voice.
We both lean forward on our seats.
“I rule for the Plaintiff.”
Boom! The judge’s gavel comes down and my face drains of all color.
Jayden breathes a sigh of relief.
“Jayden Tremblay will be allowed visitations rights to see the child Traci O’Boyle, his niece, every other Saturday from ten in the morning until Sunday at six in the evening, at which time the child will be returned to her mother, Ronni O’Boyle,” the judge further declares.
I grab a glass of water, choking and coughing, trying to clear my throat. Quick, I recover my composure and whisper to my attorney.
My lawyer stands and bellows, “Your Honor, my client does not understand how Dr. Tremblay plans to see his niece every other weekend when he lives in Canada. She believes Traci to be too young to make such a long trip by herself if that is what Dr. Tremblay expects. Nor does it make any sense that he fly up here Friday nights merely to fly back Sunday night. She believes Dr. Tremblay is not serious about his commitment to his niece and the lawsuit frivolous. Dr. Tremblay will do more harm than good in her child's life by promising to visit Traci and then standing the child up.”
Jayden fidgets on his seat and I smile meanly at him. Bingo! I win after all.
“She believes that in the long run Dr. Tremblay will break her daughter's heart,” my attorney adds.
Jayden throws a pencil at the floor, aimed at me.
I mouth the words, you will because you have a track record.
Jayden leans back on his chair, giving me a lazy look, pretending to be unconcerned by my ploy. He picks up another pencil and knocks the pencil against the table as if he is playing a song only he can hear.
“You may sit down, Counselor,” the judge orders my lawyer.
Jayden’s attorney stands to his full height. “There is no reason for Mrs. O’Boyle to have concerns. Since Dr. Tremblay filed suit, he has moved from Canada to San Marcos.”
All the blood rushes from my face. San Marcos is a short 40 minutes away from South Austin where I live!
Jayden snickers at me.
Oh, take that smug look off your face just because you won. I throw a pencil and it lands on the eraser tip bouncing off the end of his table.
He mouths the words, is that your best shot, Ronni? He then laughs! Damn him to hell!
Dishonor Thy Wife Page 26