by McNay, Dan
“Hello?”
They would answer her? She flicked on the light. The room was the way she had left it. Her mother? She pulled open the closet door. All of her clothes. Those would go tomorrow, that would get her out of here.
“You’re dead,” she said. “You need to go. I wouldn’t want to go where you’re going, either.”
Had she been in her dreams?
“There’s not a damn thing you can tell me. And I don’t give a fuck.”
She turned off the light and closed the door behind her. Her suitcase was sitting there in the living room. She had forgotten to unpack. She crawled back on the couch and hid her face in the blanket. The television talked at her to reassure her. She slept again. Her mother may have floated through again, but when she opened her eyes to the morning, she couldn’t recall any of her dreams.
Chapter two
The sky outside was bright blue and the birds were gossiping. She couldn’t remember what time Winston was coming, so she got up right away. She made toast to help her queasy stomach. The blanket slipped off as she carried it back to the couch. All the curtains were open. She wasn’t in her second story apartment any more. She hurried around to close them. There wasn’t anybody out. Didn’t people work for a living here? There was a guy outside the bedroom window walking his dog when she wheeled her suitcase in there to unpack. He waved before she could draw the shades. Bastard. At least pretend you didn’t see anything. She threw all of her mother’s clothes on the bed and used the hangers for her own things. She’d be wrinkled today. Raking everything off the bathroom counter into the wastebasket, she carried it out to the bed as well. There must be a store where they send you to buy old women things. She showered and did her hair and make-up and tried to tone down. The sweater was good. It would give the boys something to look at while they explained fertilizer. Her skirt was probably too tight. She needed a farm girl sundress. She eyed her mother’s shoes and tried them. They were black and fit her. Better an inch than two and a half in the mud. Sensible shoes next – when she went to buy lamps. Back in the bathroom, she wiped off the red lipstick and did a gloss instead.
She was ready to smile at the world. When she opened the front curtains, Winston was out front parking his car. She went out to meet him rather than let him see the shambles she had made of the apartment in one evening. The shoes felt weird and she was short. He jumped out as if to run around and hold the car door again.
“Relax honey, I can get in the car just fine on my own.”
“Breakfast?” he asked, pulling out.
“Sure. You make beds, Winston?”
“Oh. Well, I straightened up the place a bit.”
“She never made a bed.”
Winston smiled.
“Did she have a car?”
“There’s a pickup out at the cemetery. Jack has been using it to carry supplies for the upkeep.”
“Jack?”
“Jack Evans. He went to high school with you. He played football for me.”
There were two boys.
“One was a quarterback and the other was the end.” Daydee recalled.
“The school won state two years in a row with those two,” Winston said. “I had a little to do with it too.”
“Which one was Jack?”
“The tall one. He had blonde hair back then. He’s the preacher at the Baptist Church. He does odd jobs around town for extra money. He’s been doing the grounds at the cemetery for the last six or seven years.”
She thought they were both something back then. But arrogant, they walked on water.
“Edward is a big hot shot lawyer now. He has a hand in running the town and county these days.”
Probably not too arrogant now. She imagined them as the type she usually got. A belly, graying hair. Money, but that was about it. No charm left at all. Every one of them with a wife that lost interest long ago.
The restaurant was the one where she had been a waitress on the weekends. She was nervous. All those people in there were probably the same people she had waited on so long ago. There had never been any friends here. Just jealous girls and horny boys. The plates and coffee cups were probably just as chipped. Everyone looked up when they came in. There were a few nods and a couple of hellos from faces she didn’t recognize at all. The waitress that came with coffee might have been a girl she had worked with here. It was a guess. She looked older, but Daydee knew better.
“So how are you, darling?” Daydee asked.
There was a look of surprise.
“Same old, same old. So, where you been?”
“New Orleans, most of the time.”
“Boy, that must have been something. What are you having?”
They ordered.
“She been here forever?” Daydee asked Winston.
“I’ve been here forever.”
Jack came over to the table. She hadn’t noticed him coming in. He was still tall and thin, but his short hair was gray now. Still good looking. Laugh lines around his eyes. A wedding ring. A very big University Class Ring. IU? There was a piece missing from his earlobe, as if someone had taken a small bite out of it. He pulled up a chair and sat with them.
“It’s good to have you back,” he said. “Winston told us you were coming. Have you had Jesus come into your life?”
Daydee laughed at him.
“Not yet, but today might be the day.”
“Well, that’s a hopeful attitude. How long before you have to go back?”
“I’m not.”
The waitress came back to pour Jack coffee.
“You’re not going back to New Orleans?” he asked.
“I thought the estate might take a while to settle. There wasn’t anything to keep me down there. Up here, they have good looking preachers. Thought maybe I’d go find Jesus.”
“Our doors are always open to sinners. Maybe you could bring this old guy with you.”
Winston looked into his coffee.
“Stop by the cemetery. I’ll show you the improvements I’ve made.” He eyed Winston. “See you outside for a minute, coach?”
Winston got up and followed him outside. They were soon in a heated discussion outside the front window. A stranger coming in, turned to look back at them. Jack was angry. Not much of a way to keep a secret, she thought. Jack left. Winston stood with his back to the window for a moment, looking up and down the street. He rubbed his forehead before coming back in.
Sean, from yesterday, appeared at the table as soon as Winston sat down again. She hadn’t spotted him either when they came in. He stroked his fluffy beard like it was a rabbit’s foot. Why do guys with beards do that?
“I brought you the rest of the money,” he told her, pulling out his wallet.
Great, she thought, if they don’t know, they do now. She wanted to refuse the money, but she really needed it.
“What time are you guys coming by? I have some tractor riding to do.”
“Two?” Daydee suggested to both of them.
“Three,” Sean said.
Winston nodded.
“Three it is, honey,” she said.
Sean blushed and left.
“What was all that about?” she asked Winston.
It took him a moment to understand what she was asking. He looked out the window at where he and Jack had stood.
“Just old business.”
“So, you’ve never been to his church?”
Winston shook his head and tried his eggs. They looked cold.
“I used to go to Mass in New Orleans. Mostly for the show,” she told him.
“There’s a big Catholic church in town. Maybe you don’t remember. I was raised Baptist.”
“I was raised Jim Beam myself.”
That got a smile out of him. He pushed his plate away and took a piece of toast.
“You ready to go?” he asked.
Winston grabbed a toothpick after paying at the register. Everyone in the restaurant seemed to watch them go out. She didn�
��t look back. She was afraid she would find them all at the window. He was rooting around in his mouth.
“What first?” he asked.
“The cemetery.”
* * *
They drove a short distance to the north side of town. There was a wrought iron archway over the entrance. The lettering spelled out ‘Paris Memorial Gardens’. Pretty fancy. The whole thing was just a large expanse of lawn. All the markers were flush with the ground. There was a couple of shade trees and some shrubbery for decoration. It all sloped down toward a gravel road that ran across the bottom end. The land across the road was overgrown and covered in trees. There was a concrete bunker with a lot of windows that looked like an office and a big sheet metal shed with one open side. There was a backhoe and a couple of lawn-mowers and shovels and a bunch of other stuff. She didn’t know what. There was an old brown pickup parked beside the shed.
It had to be a stick.
She had a Louisiana Driver’s License, but she hadn’t had a car in years. The johns came to her, or she rode the bus or streetcar. It was much cheaper. You couldn’t really park in the Quarter or downtown anyway. Well, everyone would just have to stay out of her way.
They parked in front of the office. Jack wasn’t here yet.
“Your mother is over here,” Winston said.
They walked over to a new mound of earth.
“Shall I leave you?” Winston said.
“Don’t be silly. I didn’t love her.”
She wandered over to the graves nearby. We are all here, she realized. Her grandmother and grandfather, her great-grandmother and the great-aunt and the great-uncle separately – they were brother and sister. And her father.
“My father came back?”
Winston rubbed his forehead.
“About fifteen years ago. Somebody thought they saw him wandering around out on your farm. Your mother and aunt went out to look for him, but couldn’t find him. The sheriff went and looked too. Then there was a fire in the old barn out there and when they got it out, they found him inside, all burned up.”
She felt her tears begin to well up. All this time she had imagined him crazy as a loon, wandering the streets somewhere. Like the Magic Bead Lady in the French Quarter. The homeless crazy woman would hit up the shopkeepers with a present of her magic bead and mumble some blessing on the shop and they would give her money. Surviving on the kindness of strangers. And he has been here all this time. She wouldn’t let herself cry. What good would it do?
“There was a new young DA in town who decided your mother had probably killed him, so he pressed charges. There was a trial. Edward defended her. She got off. There wasn’t any evidence. Why would she kill him anyway? She could have had him locked up as a crazy person. No need to kill anybody.”
“Jesus.”
Jack pulled up in his pickup. She was thankful for the distraction. They walked back to office where he had parked.
“I think you are just as good looking as you were in high school,” she told him.
His eyes jumped at Winston behind her.
“I have a wife and two kids now.”
“You have pictures?”
He looked a bit confused, but took his wallet out of his back pocket. He told her their names and ages. The wife was pretty. Daydee oohed.
“Let me show you the office,” Jack suggested.
He unlocked it and handed her the keys. They went in. It was a nice cozy room with wood paneling and black file cabinets and two overstuffed chairs before a desk. There were a lot of windows that opened to the expanse of lawn. The customers could sit there in comfort and look out at the peaceful park as they signed the papers. Atop one of the cabinets was Hanna’s mantle clock. It was a little crowded with all of them standing. Daydee touched Jack’s arm to move around him to open a file drawer and look inside. He jumped out of the way. Winston had followed them in, but then went back outside.
“Your mother ran the business and scheduled everything. She would just call when there was a burial. I’m busy Sundays, so we had them all on Saturday. I don’t know much about the paperwork, I’m afraid. I come out once a week and mow, and weed and install markers when they come in.”
She touched his arm again to go back to the desk. He jumped again.
“There’s no answer phone?”
“Everyone knew to call her at home. You want to see the shed and the equipment?”
“Sure.”
She locked the door and kept the keys. She was beside Jack walking down. He made her feel tiny.
“So, what time Sunday?”
“Nine. Winston could bring you.”
Winston looked away when she glanced at him. Good. She really had no intention of going.
“I’ve started buying sod piecemeal to cover the new graves. It makes it look better quicker.”
“That sounds like a great idea.”
He showed her around the shed and explained what some of the equipment was. She tried the door of the backhoe, but it didn’t want to open easily. Jack pulled it open for her.
“I don’t use this one. I have my own. It’s in town at a job site right now.”
She turned and acted off balance and grabbed his arm to steady herself. She knew she was a little too close.
“Well, let’s just keep everything as is, until I get it figured out. Ok, hon?”
Jack nodded.
She looked at the keys for something that would fit the truck. He pointed.
“You don’t need it?”
“No, I drove figuring you would want the use of it.”
“Where next,” she asked Winston. “The farm?”
“Sure.”
She climbed in her pickup. She wasn’t sure about driving with even the low heels she had borrowed so she took them off and put them next to her on the seat. Winston was mumbling something to Jack. She rolled down the window.
“You coming?”
Winston came over to join her.
“You want me to drive?” he asked after he climbed into the passenger’s side.
“No.”
It started easily enough. She hit the brake and the clutch and tried to shift into first. It grinded. Jack was at the window.
“You have to double clutch it. Every time you change gears, you have to put in the clutch twice. The second time is the charm.”
“Good to know.”
She tried again. The gears screeched a bit, but the truck jerked forward. She weaved up the drive and came a little close to the archway when she left the grounds.
“I can drive,” Winston told her.
She didn’t answer. She was scared to death. She hadn’t driven a vehicle in four years. The last time was when her client was too soused to get back to the hotel. And that was a fancy rental. Winston was clutching his arm rest.
“You should probably have your shoes on.”
She laughed. And ran a stop sign. He hollered directions and asked her to slow down. They were on the highway out of town. This was a blast! Just like when she borrowed her mother’s car. She revved it up to the top of second and made it into third. Her hair was going to be a mess from the open window. They came to the driveway for the farm and she took it too fast, one back tire sliding into the ditch, but she recovered. Sean was out by his tractor. She coasted in with the clutch in and wrestled it back into first. When she braked, the engine died.
“I’ll practice,” she told him.
She tried fixing her hair in the mirror, but it was hopeless. Sean was coming over. She didn’t want to make them wait while she sorted the tangles out. There was a contraption hitched to his tractor. And behind that, a pile of gray and blackened lumber. The burnt-out barn. A little distance further was the old Victorian farm house, all boarded up, surrounded by rows of corn. She recalled that there had been a yard with a fence long ago.
“You were lucky to make that turn coming in,” Sean said.
“Glad you liked it, Sweetie.”
“No, seriously.” He was fr
owning.
“Seriously, I couldn’t give a rat’s ass what you think of my driving.”
Sean looked at Winston.
“He’s busy thanking the lord he’s still alive,” Daydee said.
“Sorry, Miss McIntire. I was concerned about you hurting yourself.”
“So, what’s going on with the farm?”
She opened the door and slipped her shoes on. She hopped down, shaking out her hair with her fingers.
“You want a tour?”
“What are you getting ready to do?” she asked.
“I’m fertilizing.”
“I could go once around with you. I think I remember how to hold on.”
“It’s not safe. And my wife won’t like it when she brings lunch later. I meant a tour in the truck.”
“Next time, I guess. You have an old tractor,” Daydee said.
“It works just fine.”
“So, what you doing with the crops? We’re partners now, right?”
“I’ve planted half soy and half corn. About 180 acres each. I’ve gotten a futures offer for $7.40 a bushel on the soy that we should probably take. It won’t go much higher than that.”
“I don’t know what that means,” she told him.
“It’s an offer to buy the crop before it comes out of the ground. Most wait until mid-summer, but that price will go down by then.”
“When do we get the money?”
“At harvest, at delivery,” he said.
“Let’s do it if you think we should.”
She got a smile finally.
“Yes, ma’am. I’ll bet you a percentage if you want.”
She didn’t understand what he meant by that, but she guessed it was something guys did. She put out her hand. He wiped his on the seat of his pants before he shook. He pointed at the tractor and left to climb into the seat. She got back into the truck, taking her shoes off again. Winston just looked at them on the seat. Uncle Alec never said boo, but he would take her for a ride around the corn.
* * *
“So, where’s the other farm?”
“There’s a piece your mother kept. But I think she traded the other farm to Edward for his legal fees when she was on trial.”