He sat up slowly and pulled off his shoes, then headed into the bathroom to brush his teeth. As he brushed, he stared at himself in the mirror. He looked pathetic and miserable. He grunted and propped both hands against the sink with his head bowed and the water still running.
God, help me to put this in Your hands. And help me to know where You want me to go from here. And if there’s to be an “us”, then help me to trust You to work that out too. I could also use some direction on what to do about D.R. I’d like to put my head down and just walk away. Do something easier. But I keep feeling a check every time I think that’s what I’ve decided to do.
He scooped water into his mouth and swished.
Not to mention, when Dakota did see things a little differently after he told her about his past, what then? If he went back to eastern Oregon to run Deschutes Rejuvenation again, would she be willing to come with him? Would he even want to take a woman into that kind of ministry with him? No. No way.
He spat into the sink and blew out a frustrated breath as he slapped off the water and the light. God, I’m a mess down here.
Chapter 10
Dakota woke up the morning of the wedding with a splitting headache and a mouth so dry her tongue felt stiff. Dread pressed in. Not today of all days! She eased her eyes open and tested the sunlight streaming through her window. Burning pin pricks bombarded so painfully that she snapped them shut again.
The doctors had said the malaria might come back in six months to a year. And the doctor at the hospital last week had warned that exhaustion could bring it back on. But she’d been feeling fine yesterday other than the slight headache that had plagued her at the end of the rehearsal dinner and into the evening. She hadn’t expected it to come back now, not on such an important day, for sure. At least it didn’t seem to have come back in full force. Yet.
She groaned and pushed her hands into the mattress, forcing herself to shuffle to her bathroom.
A chill shook her, and she heard her breath stuttering through her lips. Goose bumps popped up all over her arms. Okay, maybe it was a little worse than she first thought.
She fumbled one hand through the medicine cabinet, forcing her eyes to open to slits. Tylenol and Advil would have to get her through the wedding. Because she wouldn’t let Marie down for anything. But she’d put a call in to Doctor Dallas, the local tropical disease specialist, and maybe she could get in to see him tomorrow.
She poured two white pills into her palm and downed them with a chaser of water. Then she crawled back onto her bed and pulled the covers up to her ears. Fifteen minutes. She would hopefully feel a little better in fifteen minutes. After that she’d have to get up and dress or be late for the wedding…
Seemingly only a moment later, knocking on the door jolted her upright. Something had her skull in a vice grip, and she gasped at the force of it. But her eyes felt a little better.
“Dakota, you ready in there? It’s time to go.” Justus’s voice sounded a little worried and still a little dejected.
Her eyes dropped closed as their conversation from the night before invaded.
Then they popped open again! Time to go? A frown puckered her brow. She scooped a hand back through her hair and glanced at her phone on the night stand. Ten fifteen, and five missed calls from Marie and two from Taysia. Alarm shot through her and she leapt off the bed. They were supposed to be at the church in twenty minutes! As fast as her still-tender ankle would allow, she hustled to the door and opened it a crack, peering around it.
Justus’s eyes widened as he took in her T-shirt and shorts and what she felt sure was a hairdo to outshine all hairdos.
“I think my malaria is back. But I feel better now. Give me fifteen minutes?”
“Malaria?” He placed a palm on the door to keep her from shutting it. “You should be in bed resting. Marie will understand.”
“No! I don’t want to let her down. And I don’t want to miss it.” She gave him an apologetic wince. “I meant to get up earlier. Just think, you’ll get to show me what that speedy little red car of yours can actually do. Give me fifteen minutes? I’ll be fine.” She firmly shut the door in his face and rushed to the bathroom.
Advil. She would take some now as a layer on top of the Tylenol she’d taken earlier.
God, please just get me through this day and help it to be wonderful for Marie and Reece.
Justus paced in the dining room, concern for Dakota tightening his chest. But, true to her word, she appeared at the bottom of the stairs fifteen minutes later.
“You sure you’re going to be okay?” Justus studied her carefully.
Her face was a little peaked and there were slight bags under her red eyes, but other than that she looked beautiful. So good, in fact, his concern was momentarily forgotten and he swallowed hard.
Dakota’s navy blue bridesmaid dress was a sleek sheath of velvet with a flare around the ankles. Sapphire blue gems studded one shoulder and swept down to Dakota’s waist.
“I’ll be fine. Just get us to the church.” She hurried towards him.
He stopped her. “You’ll need a coat?”
“Oh.” She put one hand to her forehead. “I forgot. I’ll just run up and—”
“No. Don’t. Here.” He swept off his own leather jacket and settled it around her shoulders. Taking up his suit coat which hung over the back of one of the dining room chairs, he slipped it on. “This will work just fine for me. Let’s go.”
He took the roads as quickly as he could without getting a ticket, and tried not to worry too much as Dakota called to make an appointment with a tropical diseases doctor.
“This afternoon? Oh no, I can’t come in today—”
He settled one hand against her knee. “Yes. Yes, you can. I’ll take you.”
“Oh, well, actually, yes I’ll take it. Four thirty. Yes. I’ll be there. Thank you.” She hung up and tilted her head back against the headrest. Her eyes dropped closed and she didn’t even seem to have the energy to look at him when she said, “You’ve already done so much for me, I hate to ask you to do more. I’m cleared to drive now. But I’ll just need you to give me a ride back to the house to get my car.”
“You may be cleared to drive, but I’m not letting you drive yourself anywhere in your condition. I don’t mind taking you at all.”
“It might take a while. Sometimes it takes a long time to get the blood work back from the lab.”
“It will be fine.” He grinned at her, intent on lightening her mood. “Maybe when you see what a helpful guy I can be you’ll agree to that first date.”
Her lips thinned into what could have been taken for a smile if it wasn’t so weary around the edges. “If my picture is by ‘pigheaded’ in the dictionary, yours must be next to persistent.”
He chuckled. “Maybe it is, at that.” He pulled up to a spot directly in front of the church’s double doors. “You get out here, and I’ll meet you inside.”
She gave him an appreciative smile. “You’re a lifesaver.”
“If I was any kind of lifesaver you’d be home sound asleep in your bed.”
She pulled herself from the car and cocked one eyebrow at him. “That would be nice, but Marie is worth it.”
He nodded. “Reece is too. Without him and Jalen I don’t know if Deschutes Rejuvenation would have even gotten off the ground. If you wait for me inside, I’ll walk you down.”
Dakota leaned one shoulder into the foyer wall, relieved to note that her layering of acetaminophen and ibuprofen seemed to be working. She was bone weary, but she would make it through.
Justus entered only a moment later and Dakota hurried with him to the room where the bridesmaids were to wait. “See you in a few.” He squeezed her elbow and headed across the hall to the groomsmen’s room.
“Oh, you’re here!” When Marie saw her walk in, she looked like a frazzled mother of toddling triplets whose husband had just arrived home from work.
Dakota apologized profusely and explained what had h
appened.
“I’m so sorry.” Marie pulled her into a quick hug. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay? You don’t have to do this.”
Dakota nodded. “Yes, I’ll be fine. Really.” She glanced around. “Where’s Riley?”
“She’s downstairs helping Darlene put the finishing touches on the reception hall.”
Dakota eyed Marie. “How are you doing? Did you eat something?”
Marie nodded. “Darlene made me coffee, eggs and toast before I ever left the house. And she brought me apple slices and cheese a little bit ago.”
Dakota slipped off the comforting cocoon of Justus’s jacket and accepted the bouquet Taysia thrust into her hands with a smile. “Thanks for filling in for me.” A wave of chills gripped her at the loss of warmth, and goose bumps speckled her arms.
Taysia gave her arm a squeeze. “No problem. Sorry you aren’t feeling well.”
Marie stepped forward and took both of their hands. “Would you two mind if we prayed?”
Dakota immediately felt a touch of relief in her spirit. Prayer might be the only thing that would get her through this ceremony. “I’d love that.”
A knock sounded on the door and the pastor’s wife poked her head in. “It’s time, ladies! The photographer is waiting for you all in the sanctuary.”
Marie’s eyes sparkled with excitement as she nodded then spun back to them. “Okay, quick prayer. Taysia, maybe you could lead us?” The sparkle turned to a sheen of moisture.
Taysia gave her a side hug. “Of course. I’d love to.” And she launched in. She prayed for Marie to have peace, for her and Reece’s relationship to be built on the solid foundation of God’s Word. She prayed for Riley – that their love for her and for Jesus would lead her to a relationship with Him. And she concluded with a quick prayer for Dakota to feel better and make it through the ceremony.
The photographer obviously knew what she was doing and made the photo session seem like a breeze. And then it was time, and Dakota and Justus were walking down the aisle arm in arm.
Dakota had always loved December weddings. And even though she’d seen it all yesterday, she took it in again with new appreciation. Two large trees stood on each side of the podium. White lights and deep burgundy poinsettias added a comforting splash of color to the room. The aisle was also lined with lights and poinsettia bushes, and the two large bouquets on either side of center were built with red-throated lilies, white roses, and deep green ferns. But the best sight of all was seeing Reece, standing at the head of the aisle, fidgeting like a little boy on Christmas morning. His attention was fixed on the doors behind them, anticipation sparkling in his green eyes as he craned to see around them to the main doors where Marie would appear at any moment.
Justus leaned toward her as they neared the end of the aisle. “You sure you’re going to be okay?”
She kept her smile in place and nodded imperceptibly. “I’ll be fine. Stop worrying.”
“That’s not likely to happen anytime today,” he mumbled as he escorted her to her place on the platform and then took his position on the other side.
Dakota willed away the goose bumps that threatened to return and forced her attention to the back doors as the bridal processional started up and Marie swept in with Alyssa looking proud as punch by her side. It had been Reece’s idea to have Alyssa escort Marie up the aisle because Marie’s father was still serving time for a B&E he’d committed.
Serving time. Dakota’s gaze darted across the platform to Justus. She could cross “breaking and entering” off her list, she supposed. He’d likely still be in if he’d done something that serious. Except he would have been a juvenile and likely would have gotten a lesser sentence. So maybe it was still an option. She sighed. Why hadn’t she just asked him last night?
She suddenly realized Justus had caught her staring and jerked her focus back to the couple just meeting at the head of the aisle.
“Who gives this woman to be married to this man?” the pastor asked.
“I do!” Alyssa’s chest puffed out even more, if that were possible.
Despite the pain suddenly burning in all her joints, Dakota grinned, and the whole sanctuary rippled with humor.
Marie bent and kissed Alyssa on the cheek and then the little girl dashed over and clambered up on the bench next to Reece’s mom. “Did I do good, Grandma?” she asked in a very non-inside voice.
Another wave of laughter rolled through the room.
Marie covered her mouth, a little embarrassment tinting her cheeks pink.
As Darlene shushed Alyssa with grandmotherly affection, Reece chuckled and pulled Marie to his side. When Marie and Reece took the three steps to stand before the minister on the platform, Dakota moved down to the main floor of the sanctuary, pulled in a slow breath with dread at needing to use any joint, and bent to adjust Marie’s short train. When she stood, a wave of light headedness drained through her, but it only took a moment and a quick shake of her head to set her back to rights. She resumed her spot and accepted her bouquet from Taysia. She could feel Justus’s gaze drilling into her.
She chose not to look over. It would hurt her neck too much and only add fuel to his fire of worry.
The ceremony was short, with only one song to interrupt the vows, and soon Justus’s warm hand had settled over hers where she rested it in the crook of his arm, and they were following the happy couple back down the aisle.
By the time they reached the foyer however, Dakota’s legs were trembling so badly they were in danger of giving out, and it had nothing to do with the fact that she’d been gimping around on crutches for the past several days. Her eyes felt like a tailor had mistaken them for a pin cushion and were watering unstoppably.
Justus led her to a chair and thrust a handful of tissues from a nearby box into her hands. “Wait here, I’ll get my jacket and your purse, but I’m taking you to the hospital right now.” He was gone before she could protest.
Dakota dabbed at her tear ducts and held her breath as pain vibrated through every knuckle in her hand and her eye felt set afire with each dab of the tissue. She’d have loved nothing more than to tell him she had other obligations, but the truth was she couldn’t find the energy. Couldn’t have found the energy if she was paid. She kept her eyes closed and tipped her head back against the wall. Maybe if she just rested for a moment.
But Justus was back before she even had the chance to do that. “Hey, you ready?” He nudged her upward and slid the wonderful warmth of his jacket around her shoulders. “Let’s get you to the hospital.”
“But the dance—”
“—don’t worry about the dance.” Marie was there by her side, with Reece looking concerned too. “Just get better.”
Dakota wanted to cry, but couldn’t deny a measure of relief. “I’m so sorry.”
Marie squeezed her shoulder and Dakota gritted her teeth to keep from crying out. “I just wish I’d known you were so sick. You never should have had to stand through the ceremony.”
Forcing a smile she hoped looked real, Dakota tried to reassure them. “I was fine really.”
“But you’re not right now. Let’s go.” Justus held one hand toward the exit.
“Congrats, you two,” Dakota called over her shoulder as she preceded Justus toward the door.
Marie curled into Reece’s side and looked up at him. “Thanks.”
There was so much love in her expression, and in Reece’s as he looked back down at his new wife, that Dakota felt the awe of it. And as she stood just inside the doors waiting for Justus to run get the car, she wanted only one thing.
Someday I want a relationship with someone who will love me like Reece loves Marie, Lord.
The only problem was, the man who sprang to mind came with too many risks and not enough guarantees.
Chapter 11
A little bit of terror danced in Justus’s chest.
The minute he’d opened the car door for Dakota back at the church, she’d sunk into the seat, pun
ched the heater button, and curled into a little ball with her eyes closed. Every once in a while she moaned softly, but he couldn’t tell if she was asleep or just in so much pain she couldn’t help herself.
He knew one thing for sure as he pulled into the hospital’s emergency room parking lot, his heartrate hadn’t been this high since the night Treyvon had killed his girlfriend. Justus eased the car to a stop under the emergency room portico and hopped out. He dashed around and opened her door. “Come on, Dakota. We’re here.”
A low groan and a shudder were her only response.
He skimmed a hand over her forehead. She was burning up! She needed help, and she needed it now. He glanced around. There was nothing for it but to leave her here for a second and run inside to get someone.
He left the car idling and jogged through the sliding glass doors to the triage counter. No attendant was in sight. Of course not. He could hear a bevy of activity happening through a door just behind the desk and pressed the bell on the counter to call someone to come. But no one emerged and he needed to at least get Dakota inside where it was warm.
A wheelchair sat empty near the wall. He snagged it and hurried back to the car, only to find Dakota pulling herself out already, and trying to lean down inside the car to get her purse. Her knees wobbled like a newborn giraffe. “Whoa.” He lurched toward her and guided her fall into the wheelchair. Then grabbed her purse and set it on her lap. She whimpered and murmured something about fire. He touched her forehead again. If she was feeling even half as warm internally it was no wonder fire was on her mind.
He swung around to wheel her inside, but a scrub clad woman strode out the doors looking all businesslike. “I’ve got her sir, thank you. What are her symptoms?” She held up a hand for him to stop.
Justus gladly relinquished control of the wheelchair to the nurse, even if he was wondering where she’d been only a moment ago. “She thinks she has malaria. She’s had it before. But her fever just spiked in the last few minutes.”
“Okay,” the woman carefully guided the wheelchair toward the entrance. “I need you to park your car. You can’t leave it there.” She walked calmly, more like she was out for a Sunday stroll than wheeling a very sick woman into an emergency room.
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