Like a cold bucket of water, the words washed over her. She thought of her family interactions tonight. Of the life she’d lived with Nate. Free from the control of righteousness, for sure. Was she ashamed of them all? Absolutely. Did it feel like they were all enslaved by their poor choices? Totally.
God wasn’t responsible, she’d known that all along. It was easier, though, to blame Him for all the pain in her life than to accept that maybe her own sinful decisions, and those of others she cared about, had brought all that pain into her life.
Death… yes, that was exactly what it all felt like.
She reread verse twenty-three.
For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
A balance hung before her. Death on one side. Life on the other. She’d been living on the side of death for so long she was a little bit terrified to make the leap over to the other side of the scale.
Don’t let the devil give you a paycheck, Riley.
The words suddenly made so much sense.
She bowed her head. “God. I want to be your slave now.” She clutched the Bible to her chest and sank against the pillows. She would still have to deal with a lot of the fallout her family would experience because of this night. But somehow she felt a little different. A little more hopeful that they’d all make it through.
Chapter 13
Dakota was released from the hospital Monday morning. She was feeling better, but had no energy to do anything but fall into bed and sleep the whole day through. Riley brought her a bowl of soup for dinner, and after eating it and taking another round of medicine she fell into another exhausted sleep for the rest of the night.
But when she woke up on Tuesday morning she felt like a new person. It was amazing the difference a few hours of the medicine had brought about.
She got up and showered. Dressed in her favorite pair of jeans, a T-shirt, and her faded Seahawks sweatshirt and padded down to the kitchen in her bare feet.
The coffee pot released the heavenly aroma of fresh brew into the air, but no one seemed to be around yet. She poured herself a mug and wandered into the living room.
Darlene sat in a chair near a fire crackling in the fireplace, reading her Bible. She looked up and smiled. “You are looking much better today than you did yesterday when you went up to your room.”
“I feel so much better. I hope you don’t mind that I helped myself to some coffee?” She lifted her mug.
“Of course not. In fact, I was just getting up to make breakfast. Why don’t you take this chair near the fire and take it easy until I get it ready?” Darlene stood and tucked her Bible onto the side table next to her chair.
“I could help, if you like?”
Darlene waved her off. “No. No. I’m only making pancakes. That’s a one person job, really. And I already laid out the table before I sat down here, so everything is almost all set. I’ll call you when it’s ready.”
Dakota smiled. “Thanks.”
She sank into the chair and propped her feet up by the fire. Only a moment later, Alyssa stumbled into the room rubbing her eyes. The moment she noticed Dakota, she scrambled up onto her lap, curling into a ball against her chest.
“Hey there, Munchkin.” Dakota rubbed the sleepy girl’s back. “How are you this morning?”
“I miss my mommy.” She sniffed.
Dakota set her coffee cup down and rocked her. “I’m sorry. She’s going to be back in only three more sleeps.”
“That’s a long time.”
It probably did seem like forever to a four-year-old. “Want me to read you a story?”
“Yes!” She was off of Dakota’s lap and back in a flash with a colorful picture book full of silly monkeys and laughing hyenas.
She was reading to Alyssa in the funny voice of the jungle python when Justus walked into the room. It must have taken her a moment to notice him, because when she glanced up, he was standing with arms folded and a look of utter amusement on his face. She let the story trail off and grinned, feeling warmth steal into her cheeks.
He tilted his head, and there was something far too intimate in the way he watched her.
“Aunt Kota, the story isn’t over yet.” Alyssa reached up and patted her cheek to get her attention.
“Breakfast is ready, everyone!” Darlene called from the kitchen. “We’ll eat in here at the kitchen table.”
“Breakfast!” Alyssa leapt down and made a dash for the kitchen.
Dakota shut the book and set it aside. “Saved by the…griddle, I guess.”
Justus chuckled. His gaze swept over her. “You look like you are feeling better. Feel up to a walk on the beach after breakfast?” A hint of seriousness overtook all humor.
“Sure. It will be good to stretch my legs.” But even as she said it she couldn’t help but wonder if there was more than just a walk on his mind. He must be headed back home soon. They might have missed their opportunity for that date.
Riley and Jalen were already in the Kitchen with Darlene and Alyssa. They were all just sitting down to the table when the doorbell rang. Darlene excused herself to answer it and returned a few minutes later with Pastor Mark. “Look who showed up just in time to get some of my pancakes?” she teased.
Pastor Mark chuckled. “Actually I’m sorry to stop by so early, but I’m here to talk to Dakota and Riley. Could we find someplace to do that?”
Dread settled in Dakota’s chest even as she glanced at Riley and nodded. “Sure.” This first-thing- in-the-morning call couldn’t mean anything good, she was afraid.
She and Riley followed the pastor into the study just down the hall. The man strode to one of the floor-to-ceiling windows and stood quietly for a moment massaging the muscle of one shoulder. Finally, he turned to face them. He looked haggard and tired. There were large dark bags under his eyes and grim lines of weariness etching his lips.
Dakota’s heart dropped in her chest. “You don’t have good news about House of Hope, do you?”
“I’m afraid I don’t.”
“Is it as bad as I feared?”
“I’m not sure what you feared, but LoriMay was embezzling money from us.”
Dakota clasped interlaced fingers on the top of her head. “Are you sure?” Her voice trembled.
“I’m afraid so. We’ve had to have her arrested. And she’s confessed. She got scared when we brought you on to help her. She was worried she was about to get caught. That’s why she quit so suddenly. Unfortunately, it is going to take the church some time to recover from this. We will need to sell House of Hope to try to get the church’s funds into the black again.”
“What if Dakota and I buy the house?” They were the first words Riley had said all morning.
Dakota’s heart went out to her. Of course she was concerned. They needed a place to stay. But… “I don’t think that’s going to be possible, Riley. I won’t have a job now until I can find something.” And the only thing she was likely to find in town was not going to shell out enough to pay a mortgage and support both of them.
But Riley didn’t seem fazed by her answer. She kept a steady gaze fixed on the pastor. “How much would the church need to sell the house for?”
“Well…uh…” Pastor Mark fumbled through some papers in his briefcase. “The insurance is going to cover all the repairs and of course we’ll have to get all that done and inspected before we can sell. But with the amount she has stolen and already spent, we will have to pray God gives us top dollar in order not to be in the red on this. For that reason it’s good the house sits right along the beach like it does, it’s prime land and pricing for around here.” The sum he named made Dakota’s head spin.
But Riley didn’t even blink. “We’ll take it.”
Dakota started to protest. “Riley—”
“—I have some cash.”
Dakota’s eyebrows went up. She’d imagined Riley was penniless when she’d come to live at House of Hope.
Riley press
ed her lips together and studied the ground in front of her feet for a moment, then looked up and met both of their gazes. “Can I tell you something?”
Dakota nodded and in her peripheral vision saw Pastor Mark do the same.
“Jalen had me read some verses the other day. They talked about being a slave to sin and how it pays in only death, but that we can choose to be a slave to God and He gives us the gift of life.”
Dakota’s heart began to beat faster and a spill of joy splashed over the edges of her soul.
Riley’s face softened and she folded her arms over her chest in a protective gesture. “I told God I wanted to be His slave.”
“Riley!” Pastor Mark strode over and stopped before her, his arms outspread. “That’s the best news I’ve heard all week. Can I give you a hug?”
Dakota was too thrilled to move. She stood stock still and covered her mouth with one hand.
Riley looked uncertainly at the pastor.
He laughed. “It’s okay. You don’t have to hug me. Just know that you’ve made one of the best decisions of your life and if you ever have any questions you are more than welcome to come talk to me, alright?”
The redhead smiled tentatively. “Thanks.”
Dakota found her feet then and rushed over and pulled Riley into a hug. She wasn’t going to do any asking. “I’ve been praying for you to do that very thing. I’m so happy for you.”
Riley let her cling to her for a moment and then laughed. “There’s more to my story.”
Dakota released her and stepped back. “Right. Tell us.”
“So…um…after I lost…” She laid one hand protectively over her abdomen, but then blinked hard and took a breath as though pushing herself to finish the thought. “The baby. After I lost the baby I was in a bit of a daze, I think. Nate was killed that same night and everything has just been a blur. Both Dakota and Marie were there and urged me to go live at House of Hope. I didn’t have the energy to make any other decisions at that point, so I mostly let other people make the decisions that needed to be made. But the thing is…my family is kind of…rich. I had a falling out with my dad several years ago and, well, we haven’t been on very good terms. But I have an account with some money in it. I haven’t touched it in all these years. But I planned to repay House of Hope once I could get my feet back under me again. And just Sunday while I was at church and thinking about the decision I made Saturday night, I prayed. Well, sort of, it probably wasn’t a very good prayer, but—”
Pastor’s laugh cut her off. “Any time you are talking to God, Riley, it’s a good prayer. Prayer isn’t about being all flowery or pious. It’s about opening yourself up to your Creator, telling Him your needs and desires, and then allowing him to change you. But go on…”
“Well, I told God that in addition to paying back the church, I wanted to use that money to do something good for Him. This would help the church out, give both Dakota and I a place to live, and maybe we could keep using the house to help other people in need?”
Pastor smiled and Dakota felt another bubble of joy welling up in her.
“It will take time for the repairs to be completed,” Pastor cautioned.
Riley only nodded.
“Well then. I don’t see why we can’t take your down payment to the bank and at least offer it to them. I do have to say they might balk because neither of you are currently employed.”
Riley cleared her throat. “Actually. I could pay cash outright.” She hesitated. “And still have money to help us rent a place until the repairs are complete.”
Dakota felt a little flabbergasted. And Pastor Mark looked like he felt the same.
He rubbed one eyebrow. “Well, I don’t want you to rush into this. You could probably find a house in much better shape for maybe just a little more.”
Riley nodded. “Dakota and I will talk.”
Dakota suddenly didn’t care about housing decisions. “Have you told anyone else your good news?”
Riley scrubbed one toe into the carpet and tightened her lips against a smile. “Not yet.”
Dakota grinned. “We should go out and tell them. Everyone is going to be so happy for you.”
“Thrilled!” Pastor Mark smiled. “Riley we have a class for new believers at church that I’d like to talk about getting you into, but”—he glanced at his watch— “for now I need to run to an appointment. I’ll leave you girls to talk.” With that he exited the room and shut the door behind him.
On the heels of such good news, Dakota dreaded what she knew she needed to do next as she stepped across the room. “I need to talk to you about something, actually. I’m sorry I sort of fell apart on you the other night, but I’d like to tell you why.”
Riley frowned and folded her arms. “You said you were the girl on the bike?”
“Yes. I was still in high school at the time. My boyfriend’s name, as you probably know, was Jason Murton. I was supposed to go back to Africa the next day and just wanted a few more minutes with him. He didn’t want to go because we only had the one helmet, but I talked him into it.” Dakota massaged her fingers over the tension in her forehead. “So…in a way…it’s my fault what happened to Nate. If I hadn’t pushed so hard for Jason to take me to Shady Shore…” Tears pricked the backs of her eyes. “Lots might be different today. Your baby—”
Before Dakota knew what was happening, Riley had gripped her gently but firmly by the shoulders. “Nate’s actions are not your fault, Dakota. He was already on the edge. Anything could have pushed him over. And the truth is, much of what he did was probably my fault.”
Dakota gripped her friend’s forearms. “No, Riley. You can’t believe that!”
Riley pulled back with a knowing look and clunked their casts together. “Exactly my point. We’re quite the pair I guess, huh?”
Dakota shook her finger at her. “You are slick. Okay, I take your point. But I can’t help but feel partially responsible.”
Riley nibbled on her thumbnail. “I totally understand that. Maybe we are, in part. I know I feel that way all the time. I lost my baby because I stayed with Nate. Just like you probably wonder what life might be like if you hadn’t talked Jason into that drive, I wonder what life would be like if I’d just left Nate like so many people told me I should. If I had, my baby might still be alive. Or if I hadn’t moved in with him in the first place I could have saved myself years of anguish.” Her voice emerged on a choked whisper. “I wish and wish and wish, but I can’t go back and change the decision I made. And I always come back to the realization that Nate has to bear most of the blame.”
“I totally know that feeling.” Dakota squeezed Riley’s arms. “We can only go forward and with God’s help, make better decisions next time. But I need you to know that if I could go back and change the decision I made, I would. I hope you can forgive me for the part I played in Nate’s degradation.”
Riley nodded. “Yes. I can. I do. And you need to know that I might have never listened to Marie and come to church if things with Nate hadn’t been so bad. So maybe…” She shrugged.
Dakota pondered that. “We’ll never know for sure, I guess. But what I do know is the Bible says God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” Relief spread through Dakota. Now she just had one more person she needed to talk to about that night. “Thank you, Riley. I’m glad we are friends.”
Riley seemed choked up by that. “I want you to know that the friendship you and Marie have offered me has made a huge difference in my life. Without that, I don’t know if I would have made it.”
Dakota pulled Riley into another hug. But no words seemed to be needed.
After a moment Riley stepped back. “So, what do you think about us buying the house?”
Dakota felt her hesitation rise. She didn’t want to take advantage of Riley. “I’m honestly happy to help pay a mortgage or rent once I get a job, but I have no savings and no way to help in buying it. I think that will have to be your d
ecision.
Riley turned to look out the window. “Well, buying it would help the church out of a bind. And I like the thought of us being able to help women who need a place to stay.”
“Yes, but I don’t want you to spend all your money just so we’ll have a place to live.”
“I appreciate that.” Riley’s lips thinned into a smile that said Dakota might not understand everything, but she didn’t elaborate further. “I’ll think on it and let you know. How’s that?”
“Sounds good. Now come on, we have to go tell everyone your good news!” She grabbed Riley’s arm and dragged her, laughing, down the short hallway to the dining room, knowing everyone was going to be thrilled with Riley’s decision to follow Christ.
Chapter 14
Everyone was as elated for Riley as she’d known they would be and Dakota’s heart could not have been more full as she watched Riley grin and try to brush away all their attention.
Jalen tilted back in his chair, his empty plate before him, arms folded over his chest, and a soft smile on his face as he watched Riley speak with Darlene. He was quiet, but Dakota had a feeling based on the amount of emotion reflected in his eyes that he was overjoyed the same as Justus and Darlene, who had already hugged Riley and told her how happy they were.
Dakota layered two pancakes and syrup on her plate, thankful for the return of her appetite.
Justus strode across the room and put his empty plate in the sink. His own mug still in hand, he lifted the coffee pot and one eyebrow, asking her if she wanted a cup.
She nodded and mouthed, “Yes, please” and then let her scrutiny linger as he grabbed a mug from the cupboard, filled it, and added cream and sugar. Today he was wearing a royal blue button-down that brought out the color of his eyes to perfection. He had it tucked into trim black jeans that only emphasized his broad shoulders. She took a slow bite of her pancakes as she studied those shoulders and the lithe ripple of every muscle as he moved. What would it feel like to have those arms wrap around—
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