by Jane Charles
“Yes.”
“Did you know she was reading them as well?”
“Yes. I came across her in the folly. I’d forgotten that she kept them hidden in the priest’s hole in her chamber.”
“You knew where she kept them?” Tristan asked. Elaina was certain nobody knew of her secret hiding place.
“She didn’t know that I knew.” Lucian shook his head. “When one is the guardian of a miss, one keeps an eye on everything to best protect her.”
“Did you ever read them?” Xavier asked.
“No. I never had cause to do so. However, if there had been a concern, I would have.”
Tristan couldn’t blame him. Having two younger sisters, one that he was still responsible for, a gentleman couldn’t be too careful.
“How detailed were the journals?” Xavier asked, his anger having ebbed.
“Detailed enough that she got a whole picture of herself, her friends, and me, but no memories were triggered.”
“She said it was like reading a novel and the people within simply characters, except she knew they were about her.”
“If those didn’t jostle any memories of her grandparents, France, or even Tristan, I don’t know what will,” Xavier sank into a chair. “I’m beyond suggestions for how to restore what she lost.”
“She needs to go home,” Tristan said again. “Back to Hopkins Manor where we shared a life, where our children were born.”
Xavier looked up at him, then nodded as he blew out a sigh. “I suppose you are correct.” Then he stood. “However, I am coming with you.”
Tristan didn’t deny him. As much as Tristan wanted to have Elaina to himself without the rest of her family’s interference, he kept reminding himself what he’d do if this was Sophia. There wouldn’t have been a damn thing Scala, her husband, could have done to keep him away. To keep him from watching over her care.
Elaina was surprised to find not only Tristan in the breakfast room when she arrived but all her brothers. She paused at the entry and glanced from one face to the next, noting their seriousness.
Her stomach tightened.
“What is wrong?”
“Nothing.” Tristan stood
“We are traveling today,” Lucian offered.
“Where to?” again she glanced to each brother then to Tristan.
“I’m taking you home. Back to Hopkins Manor.”
At his words, Elaina experienced a sudden surge of panic. “I don’t wish to return just yet.” That was supposed to be her home. Why was she afraid to return to it?
“Why not?” Xavier asked with concern. “Aren’t you even curious to see the home you shared with Hopkins?”
She looked away from Tristan. “Maybe someday. But not yet.” After last evening, she wasn’t certain if she even wanted to be alone with her husband again. He’d rejected her and even though he was doing it to protect her, or them, it still stung.
Further, something awaited at Hopkins Manor. Something she didn’t want to face. The secret none of them would share.
Could it be that she had been unhappy? Was her marriage miserable despite the hope contained in her journals? Was the Tristan she’d come to know not the same man she married, in that he’d changed or was a cruel husband? Had he often rejected her, as he’d done last evening? Was she just now seeing him for who he was?
Elaina didn’t want to believe the possibility, but why else wouldn’t she want to go home?
“This is my home,” she answered. “I’m comfortable here. I know nothing of Hopkins Manor.”
“You knew nothing of Wyndhill Park until you arrived,” Lucian reminded her.
“Except, I didn’t fear coming here.”
Tristan pulled back. “You fear Hopkins Manor? Our home?”
“I don’t know why, but I do. Please don’t make me go.” As her chest tightened, Elaina found it difficult to take deep breaths.
“I assure you that Elaina has never had a cause to fear me or our home, or anyone within,” Tristan assured her brothers.
“Yet, her reaction speaks of the opposite,” Asher observed. He was usually quiet, but each of her brothers looked at Elaina with concern, and with some accusation when they glanced to Tristan.
“Elaina and I were once very close. If she had reason to fear Tristan, she would have left him and come straight here,” Lucian announced. “She visited often enough when Hopkins couldn’t get away and had ample opportunity to confess any fear.”
“I agree,” Xavier said. “Something else frightens her, but I can’t imagine what it might be.”
“As none of us know, then it is probably safer to remain at Wyndhill Park,” Elaina proclaimed. “When I remember, then we will address the situation.” Oh, she prayed that was enough for her brothers to agree because she could not, under any circumstances, return to Hopkins Manor.
“This fear you have, I’m certain that it is not unfounded, but until we learn what it is, it cannot be combated.” Xavier placed his napkin upon the table. “Further, because of your strong reaction, I believe it may also be the key to unlocking the memories that refuse to surface.”
“Do you really think that’s possible?” Micah asked.
“Yes, but in matters of the mind, there are never any certainties.” With that he stood. “This is too important to ignore. Pack and be prepared to leave in two hours.”
Then he was gone before Elaina could object and she turned to Lucian. Certainly, he wouldn’t make her go. “It’s too soon.” Why the blazes were there tears in her eyes. Why was she so afraid?
“I don’t always agree with Xavier, but in this case, I must.”
“Tristan?” she looked to her husband, ready to beg for a reprieve.
“It’s time, Elaina.”
At that, she glanced at her remaining brothers: Micah, Asher and Silas. Though she could tell they were concerned, none came to her defense.
“Don’t worry, we will be traveling with you,” Silas assured her. “You are not alone, Elaina.”
Except she’d never felt more alone in her life. This anxiousness clutching at her breast and threatening to close off her throat was almost more than she could take.
“Have a seat,” Silas said quietly. “Some tea will calm you.”
She shook her head. A cup of tea was not going to help.
Nothing could help.
Though she had no idea what awaited her, Elaina was just as certain it wasn’t something she wished to remember, ever.
Chapter 30
Their travels had been uneventful, with the exception that the closer they came to home, the more anxious Elaina became. For the life of him, Tristan couldn’t understand why. She’d been happy here. They’d been happy here. Except, right now she was as pale as a ghost, and her fingers trembled. He tried to hold her hand, to offer calm and support, but she withdrew from him.
As the carriage came to a stop before the manor, he assisted her to the ground. Outside was Maxwell, along with Gideon and a lady he assumed was his wife. Though Tristan wished to greet Arabella properly, he didn’t want to take too much attention from Elaina. The three appeared to have just arrived. Apparently, Gideon had retrieved his wife while Tristan was at Wyndhill Park, but where had Maxwell gone off to? Or, had he? And, did it really matter? Elaina was his concern, not his brothers.
Elaina remained polite, but rigid, clutching her skirts as if they offered some kind of support.
“I’d like a moment, if you don’t mind?”
Tristan paused, not certain if he should allow Elaina to be alone.
“Are you certain? If you’d like to walk, I can stay with you.”
Elaina shook her head. “I need but a moment.”
“I’ll remain with my sister,” Xavier announced.
He’d ridden in one of the carriages that had traveled from Wyndhill Park. None of her bothers wanted to leave her side and wanted to be present when she returned home with Tristan. It was as if they feared what might happen to her. All of them sh
ould know by now that Tristan would never do anything to harm Elaina. He’d give up his life before he let harm come to her. What he wouldn’t allow was for her to remain in her childhood home indefinitely
“I wish everyone would go inside. I wish to be alone.” The last was said with more force and directed at Xavier.
No matter what may come, these were steps she needed to take on her own and Tristan could only hope that her memories began to surface or he wasn’t certain what they’d do next. “Come along,” he said. “It’s been a tiring trip and I’m certain we could all use a drink.”
After a slight bit of hesitation, her brothers finally entered the manor and with one backward glance and nod to Elaina that he understood, even though he didn’t, Tristan went into the manor.
“Lord Hopkins, the terrible trio have gathered, and they brought friends,” Martin, the butler warned.
Terrible trio…Eliza Weston and Rosemary Fairview and most likely the friends were the Westbrook twins.
This was not the best time for his sister to have brought visitors into his house.
It was one thing to be invaded by the Sinclair brothers, but the four ladies weren’t family and this was a delicate time for his wife.
No. Elaina was not delicate. She was on the cusp of remembering and soon they’d be able to return to what they shared before she had got on the damned merchant ship.
He had to believe that the rest of her memories were about to surface. That was the only explanation for her anxiety.
Perhaps she was afraid she might not remember and that was why Elaina was on edge.
He should have asked, but all he’d done was offer assurances that all would be well.
“Miss Fairview,” Maxwell greeted. “I’d like to say it’s a pleasure…”
“But we both know that it is not,” she smiled at him
“Yes well, it’s best not to deceive ourselves,” Maxwell muttered and strode toward the sideboard and poured a glass of brandy. “Did you make good on your promise and deliver the scrolls you stole from me to the Vatican.”
She gasped. “I did not steal from you, Lord Maxwell. I simply found them before you had a chance to do so. And yes, I delivered them to the good Father.”
Maxwell snorted. “Stole,” he muttered under his breath.
Garretson stood within the doorway and stared at Miss Eliza Weston. More like glared at her.
“So good to see you again, Lord Garretson.”
He gave a stiff nod and marched over to Maxwell. “Please pour me one as well.”
“You’re not still angry with me, are you?” Miss Eliza asked.
“No. You were a child. However, the incident has not been forgotten.”
“Child?” she argued. “Hardly such.”
He looked at Eliza over the rim of her glass. “Yes, well both of our lives were nearly ruined because of your search for a mummy.”
Sophia, the Westbrook twins and Rosemary all looked to Eliza with surprise.
“Mummy? The same mummy…”
“It was long ago, hardly worth remembering, of little consequence, and not worth speaking of,” Eliza dismissed.
The fact that Garretson was still angry meant it certainly was not of little consequence but their squabble, whatever it was, didn’t concern Tristan. Instead, he walked to the front window to look out, in search of his wife.
Elaina stood on the front lawn, worrying her hands and looking up at the manor.
What was she remembering? Was she remembering anything?
“Do I know you?” Xavier asked out of curiosity and Tristan turned to see who he was addressing. It was Lady Olivia Westbrook.
She blinked. “I don’t believe we have met.”
“Are you certain?” He stepped forward and offered a quick bow. “Dr. Xavier Sinclair. I’m certain I’ve seen you before.”
“I’m certain I’d recall if we’d met.” Lady Olivia took a quick sip of her wine and glanced away.
Tristan nearly groaned. She was the Midwife, nurse and herbalist who disguised herself as a man to attend lectures at The Royal Society of Medicine. No doubt that is exactly where Xavier had seen her, and heaven help them all if Xavier made the connection. Not that Tristan cared one way or the other, but Xavier would likely bring the house down in his displeasure and there was quite enough bickering and ill-will in this room already between Maxwell and Rosemary Fairview, Garretson and Eliza Weston and now a potential feud between Xavier and Miss Westbrook.
He didn’t need any of this. Nor did Elaina.
“Where is Elaina?” Sophia finally asked. “Has she finally remembered you? Us? When you last wrote, she hadn’t.”
At least somebody realized she was not with them. He had tried to keep his family apprised of his wife’s condition and stilted recovery through letters.
Of course, the gentlemen knew she remained outside, but his own brothers could have noticed as well. Instead, Gideon, Jamie and Harrison remained at the side of the room.
“She wanted a moment and is outside,” Xavier answered and came to stand beside Tristan to watch as well.
“I don’t think it is wise to leave her alone,” he said.
“It’s what she wanted,” Tristan reminded him.
“How are her memories progressing? Sophia told us of her amnesia.”
Tristan and Xavier both glanced down to Lady Olivia who now stood between them.
“She has recovered some, but none of me, her life here or our family,” Tristan answered.
“It’s a delicate matter, the mind,” Lady Olivia observed. “But for the fact that she’s recovered so much already, I can only assume that with a bit of a push all might be returned.”
Xavier sniffed. “Push? Hardly wise, Lady Oliva,” he condescended. “You cannot begin to appreciate the dangers in simply pushing someone to recover. It could do untold injury to the mind and sensibilities.”
“Yes, I’m well aware of your opinion on the matter,” Olivia answered in clipped tone. “However, every incident of memory loss is unique and thus every recovery as well. None can be treated in the same manner.”
“What could you possibly know of such a serious matter?” Xavier demanded, nearly outraged.
“I read, Doctor Sinclair, and study. Understanding of medical issues is not limited to gentlemen.”
He sucked in a breath and if Tristan didn’t bring the disagreement to an end, it was likely to explode.
“Enough. My concern is for Elaina and, though I welcome advice, I will be the one who decides what is best for my wife.”
“She’s my sister,” Xavier reminded him.
“I am her husband.”
They held each other’s glare and Tristan was near his limit with Xavier’s interference in his marriage.
“Oh, look. She’s decided to come inside.”
Tristan jerked to look out the window as his wife, spine straight and chin up, glided to the entry as if she were about to face a dragon.
“I can do this. There is nothing to fear. I had the same trepidation when I arrived at Wyndhill Park, and it was for naught,” Elaina mumbled to herself as she looked up at the manor. Except Wyndhill Park had felt familiar as soon as she stepped out of the carriage. There was nothing familiar about this estate. She waited and hoped. That was why she’d sent everyone inside. She was so tired of their hovering and hoped that when she was alone, it would come back to her, but she was left with nothing but emptiness, and fear.
Perhaps the deep-seated fear was that she’d never recall Tristan or their lives and only have her journals. If she were lucky, she’d continued to keep them here. At least they’d offer answers if that part of her life remained blank.
That must be why she was afraid to come home. It was the only explanation, yet it hadn’t occurred to her until she stood on the lawn looking up at the manor where she’d spent her marriage.
After taking a deep breath, she marched forward. The door was opened by a butler. He greeted her with concern and Elaina s
imply nodded, unable recall his name. Unable to recall him.
“The others have gathered in the drawing room. If you will follow me.”
She nodded and did so, entering the cheery rose room and taking in the occupants. Her brothers were here, of course, as well as Tristan’s siblings, who she’d only met once, besides Harrison. However, there were three woman she’d never met seated with Sophia, and frankly, Elaina had no desire to meet anyone new. “If you’ll excuse me.”
She stepped back out into the corridor and glanced around.
Where was she to go? Where could she escape. She’d been certain that she’d have the slightest slip of a fragment of a memory once she stepped inside, as it had been at Wyndhill, but nothing came to her. Not even an emotion to prove that she’d at one time been a part of this home.
No, the only thing she was experiencing was anxiety and fear, clawing at her from the inside. Except, that didn’t make sense. Even though it had stayed with her since her family announced they’d return her, it wasn’t rational, and Elaina had yet to come to terms with the emotion. She had nothing to fear from Tristan, or his family, which she’d repeated to herself during the long drive. Yet, fear is what had consumed her, no matter how much she tried to push it away.
“Elaina?”
She turned to find Tristan coming toward her. Behind him was Xavier and another woman she didn’t recognize.
“Come with me.” He held out his hand. She took it and comfort swept through her. If there was a fear of being here, it wasn’t because of her husband. If anything, she felt the safest with him. Odd, that even though she had no memories of Tristan, he did feel like home. This home, however, was foreign to her.
“There are too many people.” He led her down the corridor and into a library. “I’ll pour you a brandy.”
“Thank you.” She sank down into a chair and glanced out a back window.
The chair was comfortable, and she loved that the wall was filled with books, but she did not want to be in here.
Was it simply the room, or the house?
Could it simply be that she didn’t like the estate? It wasn’t as if she had a choice where she’d lived since this was her husband’s home. From what she understood, the land and title had been in the family for several generations.