“Maybe she did then, but you still have to acknowledge her. Why not take the afternoon off and think about what you need to do and how you can handle it. God hasn’t left you, and this may be His way of getting you to face your guilty feelings and resolve them.”
Elliot’s heart hardened, and he clenched his teeth. He’d faced his guilt and still believed God should have helped him save Angela. No one could take the blame for her death but him. “There’s nothing to be done, but if you don’t mind, I will take the rest of the afternoon off.”
He turned on his heel and strode from the infirmary, slamming through the door and almost knocking down Henry Wilder in his haste. Elliot steadied Henry with his hands. “Sorry, but I’m in a hurry.” He let go, but Henry grabbed his sleeve.
“Wait a minute. I’d like to talk with you about Miss Langston. Since you’re from Cleveland, I figured you two might know each other.”
Elliot’s heart lurched. He had to get away from the reporter before everything fell apart. “Cleveland’s a large city, not like Porterfield. I don’t know everyone from there.” He narrowed his eyes. “And if you don’t leave me alone and quit asking about my past, I’m going to tell your boss that you’re harassing me and I don’t appreciate it.”
Henry stepped back. “I’m sorry, Doc Elliot. Curiosity is the way of the reporter. We can’t find good stories if we’re not curious about others and what they do. If it’s that important to you, I won’t bother you anymore. Besides, right now, Miss Langston makes for a really good story.”
He tipped his hat and strolled off toward the newspaper. Elliot slumped against the wall of the infirmary. All would be exposed, and his reputation in Porterfield would be ruined.
Elliot pushed away from the wall and headed toward home. He pulled his coat tight about his chest in the chill wind, which matched the frost forming around his heart. What was he going to do? Where could he go? The world didn’t seem big enough to flee his past.
A bell jingled over the doorway, and Abigail glanced up from the fabric she held to see Sophia and Penelope enter Mrs. Burnett’s shop. “Good morning; you’re out early today.”
Sophia glanced around the shop. “We’re here so I can pick out fabric for my wedding dress. Penelope tells me Mrs. Burnett does beautiful work. I must say she does have beautiful fabrics.”
Abigail brightened. Apparently all had gone well between the couple over the weekend, and a wedding was now definitely in the works. “Indeed she does. I was just selecting fabric for a few winter skirts. I’m afraid the ones I brought from home are really too heavy for wearing down here all the time.”
“I didn’t bring much with me for that very reason, but I wasn’t sure what women wore for their weddings in Texas, so I waited.” Sophia paused, then said, “Would you like to help me choose a fabric? It’s ever so much more fun to shop with friends.”
Abigail smiled. “I’d be honored to help.”
Mrs. Burnett bustled in from the back room with her arms filled with bolts of fabric. “Good morning, Mrs. Dawes, Miss Langston. I have several samples here for you to look at.” She laid the bolts on a table, and Abigail followed the others to see them too.
It didn’t take long for Sophia to decide on a color and style. “I know white is becoming more and more popular for weddings in the East and North, but it seems impractical for living here. The royal blue silk taffeta will be fine trimmed in cream lace and with a cream insert in the front bodice. What do you think, Penelope?”
“I agree. I chose a pale pink for my gown, and now I wear it to church and for special occasions.”
Abigail fingered the delicate lace. Would she ever wear something like that for her wedding? Not anytime in the near future, for sure. “That would be my choice too.”
Mrs. Bennett nodded and rolled out the bolt of fabric. “This will be lovely with your eyes and coloring, Miss Langston.”
Abigail waited while Sophia chose a pattern for the dress before handing Mrs. Burnett two bolts of fabric. “I have to be getting back to the library, but I want those two skirts we discussed in this dark blue and in this deep shade of green. No need to hurry since I know you want to get Sophia’s dress made.”
Mrs. Bennett escorted her to the door. “I’ll have them ready for you soon as her dress is done. Thank you for coming in.”
“My pleasure, Mrs. Bennett.” She waved to Penelope and Sophia. “Stop by the library if you have time. I’ll have a pot of tea brewing and a few sweets from the bakery.”
Sophia’s face lit up with a smile. “That would be lovely. We do have time, don’t we, Penelope?”
“Of course. We’ll be there shortly.”
Abigail hurried down the boardwalk toward the bakery. Sam made wonderful muffins and had a great selection of cookies, and she loved his sugar and cinnamon ones. They’d be perfect with a spot of tea.
Maybe she could learn more about Miss Langston and if she had known Elliot in Cleveland. Of course it was a big city, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask.
Forty-five minutes later Abigail waved and closed the door behind her guests. Well, that had been of no use. Sophia had neither claimed to know Elliot nor denied it. She was as good at skirting answers as Elliot had been, but not as rude. The visit had been pleasant, but she knew no more about Sophia and Elliot as she had this morning when she left home.
She hung the “Closed” sign on the door then locked it. Her stomach rumbled in anticipation of the noon meal. She turned just in time to see Elliot hurry away from the infirmary. The position of his body and his hands over his eyes communicated a great sadness, and Abigail’s heart ached for the young man. He had barely spoken to her since the Fall Festival over two weeks ago, and she felt instinctively that something was troubling him even more than usual. She had to find a way to help Elliot find peace with the Lord. It would not be an easy task, but since when had Abigail ever backed down from something difficult? But in this case, it may be not only difficult but also impossible.
A cold gust of wind whipped her coat open, and she hugged herself against it. Then a smile crossed her face. Didn’t the Bible say that all things were possible with God? And she still believed in miracles. With renewed determination, she hurried the distance to the boardinghouse and a hot meal.
Once again Henry was absent from dinner. Cory sat beside Abigail and whispered, “Annie’s really captured old Henry. He’d never pass up one of Aunt Mae’s meals otherwise.”
Abigail smiled and reached for the bread. “You should have seen the way he pitched in and helped clean up that day Annie was hurt. Wouldn’t surprise me any if we heard wedding bells for those two in the future.”
Cory nodded and dug into his chicken fried steak. She’d never seen a man eat with such gusto. Cory was as big as life in everything, and one couldn’t help but notice when he entered a room. Being married to him would keep her in the spotlight as well. Married? Now where had that idea come from? He hadn’t even indicated any interest in her in that way.
She sighed and stirred her fork in the mashed potatoes. Lately it seemed she’d been doing a lot of sighing and contemplating two men. A lot of good it had done her. Maybe it was time to use another tactic.
“Cory, I worry about Doc Elliot. He hasn’t been to church once since I arrived in town. He told me he had no use for God or religion. Have you ever talked with him about such things?”
He looked at her like she had gravy on her face or something. Was that so hard a question?
“No, I haven’t. I leave those sort of things to Seth and his preaching. I figure each man’s relationship to God is his own business.”
“But God told us to witness to people and make sure everyone knows about the grace, love, and forgiveness of God. Sometimes we’re the only Bible or sermon a person might hear.” Not talking to others about God was not the way she and Rachel had been brought up. Why, it was the very boldness of Rachel speaking to Nathan that brought him to the Lord.
“It’s just not something I’m co
mfortable doing. My job is to capture bad men and put them in jail. Saving their souls is a job for Seth.”
Abigail shook her head in disbelief. This was certainly something she never expected from Cory. Maybe Cory wouldn’t be such a good match after all.
A scream from the kitchen had both Abigail and Cory bolting from their chairs to investigate. In the kitchen they found Aunt Mae holding a towel around Miss Perth’s hand. “She was slicing up an apple when the knife slipped and cut her thumb. Somebody go get the doctor . . . quick.”
Cory turned on his heel. “I’ll do it. They’ll be at the house eating, so it’ll only take a few minutes to get one of them.”
Abigail wished Kate were there, but Aunt Mae looked like she had things under control. The pinched look on Miss Perth’s face let Abigail know the woman was in great pain. She stepped over and hugged the elderly school teacher. “I’m so sorry. The doctor will be here in just a minute and will take care of you.”
Tears rolled down Miss Perth’s cheeks. “But who’s going to take care of my babies this afternoon? They’ll all be coming back from lunch soon.”
“I imagine Miss Miller can handle them.” Jessica had always been the sort who could corral a bunch of older kids, so she should be able to see to twelve extra children.
Someone burst through the back door, and Abigail looked up and into the eyes of Elliot. He started at the sight of her, then his professional side took over and he hurried to Miss Perth.
Cory must have gone back to the sheriff’s office since Elliot came in alone. Although nearly the same height, Elliot’s presence didn’t command the attention Cory did. Elliot was quiet and efficient whereas Cory, although good at his job, was loud and teasing. Right now she preferred the quiet, calm assurance of the doctor who was treating Miss Perth. But did he welcome her presence?
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
ELLIOT KEPT HIS eye trained on Miss Perth and the wound as he pressed the towel against it once again. Still, he was very much aware of Abigail standing nearby. Her rosewater scent filled his nose again.
Miss Perth bit her lip. “Doc Elliot, it’s not serious, is it?”
“No, but it’s a deep slice to your thumb. I can bandage it so it won’t need stitches. Unless the pain worsens, you can probably go on back to the school. It just might be a little clumsy using that hand.”
Miss Perth brightened considerably. “Thank you. It hardly hurts at all now. Just a dull throb.” She held her hand still while Elliot wrapped it with the supplies from his bag. From the corner of his eye, the light brown of Abigail’s skirt filled the space.
He worked and worried at the same time. Miss Perth would be fine, but would his life be fine with Sophia here in town? If Abigail knew how he’d neglected to use the one treatment that could have saved Angela, would she have the same high opinion of him as a doctor? Most likely not.
Until he knew exactly what Sophia would do or tell people, he had to keep up his guard against the charm of Abigail and concentrate on preserving his privacy.
He sat back in his chair. “There now. You’ll be fine, Miss Perth. Drop by the infirmary tomorrow, and I’ll take another look at it.”
Miss Perth reached over and hugged the doctor. “Thank you. You’re wonderful.” With that she hurried back to get her hat and coat to return to school.
“You were wonderful, you know.”
Abigail’s soft voice froze him in place. How could he resist the charms of one so lovely as her? He didn’t know, but he had to try. “Not a serious cut, just bled a lot.” He stood. “If you’ll excuse me, I must get back to the infirmary.” That wasn’t completely true, but it would get him out of the same room with her. He refused to meet her eye as he brushed past her. He headed out the door and down the street to the infirmary.
When he entered the waiting area he stopped short, his heart slamming into his chest. Sophia Langston sat on one of the benches. He swallowed hard and closed the door.
She jumped up and hurried to him. “Elliot Jensen, it is you. Remember me? Sophia Langston, Angela’s friend.”
As if he could he ever forget the young woman Angela talked about constantly. “Yes, I remember you. It’s been awhile.” Trapped like a rabbit in a snare, he chose to be polite rather than rude. Perhaps she’d leave him alone if he simply acknowledged their acquaintance.
She grasped his hands and forced him to look at her face-to-face. “Elliot, everyone has been so worried about you, and none of us knew where you had gone. I didn’t even know you had an uncle in Texas.”
“He came here when the town was still new and raw. He and my father are brothers.”
“I gathered that . . . about the brothers part, but you left so suddenly and without any good-byes, so we were all curious.”
“Curious as to where I was or curious to know how I could have let Angela die?” Sophia had survived the blaze that claimed Angela, and seeing her now brought back all the old pain that now stabbed at his gut with the same intensity it had only two years earlier.
“We all wanted to know where you’d gone. After the funeral you disappeared completely.”
“Did you ever stop to think about why I had to leave? I couldn’t face Angela’s parents knowing I had let them down.” Their devastated faces at the service told him more than any words. He was a doctor and supposed to save people . . . not let them die. He tried to pull his hands from Sophia’s grasp, but she held on even tighter.
“No one, not me, not the Petersons, not any of our friends accused you of anything. It was just a horrible accident where I happened to be at the right place at the right time and was spared.”
“But if I had been there and not on duty, I could have helped her get out of that place, and then she wouldn’t have been on that table in the emergency room.”
“I don’t think you could have. There was so much confusion, and the smoke so thick that everyone panicked. If I had been more careful to make sure she was behind me, we both would have made it out. As it was . . .” Her voice trailed off to silence.
“That doesn’t matter. I had my chance at the hospital, but nothing we did kept her from dying. She never even regained consciousness so I could say good-bye.” He looked away. The grief he’d bottled so successfully in the past few years now threatened to rise to the surface and overcome him.
“That’s it, Elliot. You did everything you and the other doctor could, but it was simply her time. I know that sounds so trite, but the Bible says that our days are numbered even before our birth. You ought to read Psalm 139. It can make a real difference. I know, because that’s the only way I got through losing two of my best friends.”
That was the same psalm his uncle wanted him to read. He didn’t see how it would make any difference to him. God had deserted him at the time of greatest need, so there was no reason to make an effort to find comfort in the Bible or anything religious now.
“So I suppose now you’ll let everyone in town know what happened to you and what I did in Cleveland.” His heart pounded against his ribs. He couldn’t bear the thought of people staring and whispering about their doctor. All the trust he’d built with his patients would be wiped out.
Sophia squeezed his hands, and her strength made him gasp. “No, Elliot. I wouldn’t and won’t say anything. It’s your secret to reveal when and where you choose. I’m just someone who knew of you in Cleveland, and that’s all. I promise.”
He wanted to believe her, but his mind couldn’t grasp the idea that she’d keep quiet. “If that’s true, then you’ll leave me alone. I’ll nod or speak when we happen to meet on the street, but no more visits like this.”
“All right, but if and when you’re ready to talk more, I’ll be available.” She finally released her hold, and Elliot shook his hands to return the circulation.
“You do have a strong grip. My fingers are numb.”
Sophia’s smile lit up her face just as it had so many years ago. She and Angela had loved having fun and laughed a lot. “I’m sorry,
but that comes with having to defend myself against three brothers.”
“Which reminds me. What are you doing here as a mail-order bride? I can’t imagine your father letting you do something so wild.”
Now her face clouded with pain. She bit her lip then sat down. “You’d better sit with me. It’s a long and painful story.”
Elliot sat across from her and listened as she spoke. “Papa was making so much money that Mama and I never gave much thought to what he was doing with it. As long as we had enough to shop and do what we wanted, we didn’t worry. Then last year it all began to change. Suddenly all the money was gone, and we had nothing.”
“Oh, Sophia, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” No wonder she had shown such pain, and it still filled her eyes.
“Papa made some bad investments and lost it all. We had to let all the servants go, sell all but one horse and one carriage. Then we had to sell the house and move in with one of my brothers who still lived in Cleveland. That was awful since he really didn’t have that much room.”
Elliot could only imagine the humiliation her father must have suffered. His heart ached for the family. “So how did you wind up out here?”
“My sister-in-law Emily told me about a cousin, Suzanne, who had come to Texas as a mail-order bride and loved it. I didn’t think much about it at the time. But then Mama and Papa were both killed in a carriage accident and left me without anything at all.”
“Sophia! How tragic.” He reached over and squeezed her hands. It reminded him of the loss of his own parents when he’d been a young boy. He’d have been lost if it had not been for his aunt and uncle.
She wiped away a tear and continued. “Since I have no skills, I had to find a way to support myself. I couldn’t live with my brother and his family the rest of my days, and all my friends had deserted me. None of the men in our circle would even speak to me.”
Elliot’s heart went out to Sophia. Instead of avoiding her, he must make every effort to let her know he would still be her friend.
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