by Ana Salote
Oy dropped his brush and covered his eyes with his forearm. ‘I got a dreadful picture up.’
‘Tell,’ said Gritty.
‘Arms and legs and wings twined and battling,’ said Oy, ‘fingers deep in its neck feathers, beak’s wide, awful cry then lying together, still.’
Gritty listened wide-eyed. ‘What a ’magination you got,’ she said.
The Master walked in. The waifs rushed to man the ladders and grab their brushes, but Jeopardine stopped them. ‘Leave me,’ he said in a distant voice. They followed Raymun into the runs, but Alas stayed by the hatch. There was something odd about the Master’s mood. He wanted to know what it was.
Jeopardine stared up at his mother’s portrait. Then he moved to his father’s. He paced between the two and finally stopped at Syrah’s. ‘Try to understand,’ he said, ‘I need money to win this contest. I can’t marry into it now. The only way is to sell some land.’ He waited, listening. His face darkened. ‘No, Mother, you’re wrong. I’m not a fritterer.’ He listened again.
‘Your patience is spent – you never had any, at least not with me.’ He turned to the other portrait. ‘Won’t you say anything, Father?’ He waited, gave up and swung back round.
‘But, Mother, once I’m elected I’ll be as careful as Father. Won’t you be proud of me, Mother – just this once? He hoarded his piffling rat bones and you praised him for it. Always, you praised him.’ He slammed his fist into a table of cameos. ‘Am I not more to you than a hawk?’
By the end of the week there was no strength left for talking. The waifs moved by willpower alone. They fell asleep standing. Even Raymun was seen rubbing his back. The reading lessons were put on hold and Alas forgot to ask if there was anything to tell.
Raymun broke with tradition and brought the wedding day schedules to the basement on the wedding eve. ‘You’ll notice it’s a very early start.’
‘It’s hardly worth shutting our eyes,’ moaned Blinda.
‘When the guests arrive, four are to stay in the runs,’ continued Raymun. ‘The upservants and myself will pass out dishes and empties.’
‘You’re going upside, Raymun?’ said Lucinda wide-eyed.
‘Just for the day. Master needs someone reliable up front. We need four to clear each room as the guests leave it. Master wants order restored straight away. Four are to stay in the kitchen on dishes. Oy will work with Mrs Midden and Molly cook. Any questions?’
Only grunts and sighs answered him as heads dropped down and covers were pulled up.
‘I’ll bid you goodnight then. I don’t think I’ll bother turning in myself. I’m not happy with that seating.’
It seemed like only minutes later when the bells clattered and Raymun came bustling in. ‘Look sharp now. There’s work to be done.’
During the dead hours before sunrise they worked to transform the gallery. Blinda rested her cheek on her own shoulder, trying to remain asleep as she carried another armful of rustling, dripping flowers inside. Billam and Jakes staggered in with tubs of exotic fruit trees to line the aisle. A team of men arrived with cages of golden monkeys. The waifs perked up as the novelty of the day took over. The monkeys loped around the room. One took a fancy to Oy. It followed him at a distance then curiosity overcame it. Its long fingers probed his ears and examined his hair.
‘The cake’s here,’ said Blinda.
Oy dodged his monkey and saw a face he knew. ‘That’s the head baker from Crust,’ he said, delighted.
The bakers carried fifteen tiers of cake past the door, packed in the pink and gold boxes of Crust Bakery.
The ancestors watched all the activity with lofty immortal gazes. Raymun had disappeared unnoticed. He gave a small cough as he came back in.
‘Raymun!’ Lucinda exclaimed. Raymun had changed into a little black tailcoat with a snow-white dicky, red silk tie and white cotton gloves. ‘Let’s look at you.’ She held his arm and turned him to face them all. ‘You look better than an upservant, in fact you wouldn’t shame gentry.’
‘He looks right handsome,’ said Lizbuth.
Smiles played on various parts of Raymun’s face. When he controlled his lips the smile jumped into his eyes, when he calmed his eyes, his chin trembled.
Inch came to the door. ‘You lot better clear out. Guests are starting to arrive. They don’t want rats under their noses do they?’ Her eyes rested on Raymun. ‘What’s baldy doing dressed up like a real servant?’ She lifted one shoulder of the coat. ‘Stop looking so full of yourself, you disgusting midget.’ She slapped Raymun’s head.
Raymun pulled his coat down and straightened his necktie. ‘Master wants me out front today. I’m to supervise room clearance upside.’
‘Rats upside. I don’t think so. Stop sticking your chest out like that.’ She pushed Raymun into a bank of lilatrope, snatched at some flowers and began swatting him. Petals snowed around them.
‘Shame on you.’ Molly hurried across the room. ‘Stop it!’
‘Mind your business.’ Inch turned her flushed face to Molly.
‘You carry on like this and I’ll let it be known.’
‘Let what be known?’ Inch sneered.
‘Inch with a y,’ said Molly.
Inch froze and swallowed. ‘I shan’t dirty my hands on them again.’ She walked out with her nose high.
‘What was that about?’ said Lucinda.
‘I saw her papers when she first came here,’ said Molly. ‘Her name was spelled Y, N, C, H.’
‘That’s a Porian name ain’t it?’ said Lucinda.
‘I’m guessing she’s got Porian blood,’ said Molly.
‘And that’s why she hates us so much.’
‘And,’ said Gertie as a new idea arose, ‘and hears so well.’
Molly nodded. ‘Watch her.’
At last all was ready and the humming crowd filed in. Curzon signalled to the officiator and the room fell silent. Jeopardine and Gwendalyn paced towards the flower-decked platform from opposite corners of the room; he in black and scarlet, a tall hat in one gloved hand; she in a cloud of pastel froth: primrose, peach, lavender, rose, depending how the light struck her. Their paths crossed in front of the dais. She looked over her shoulder at him. He looked back at her. They waited for the maids to gather the train into folds before they mounted the steps. Four hundred living guests and thirty-three dead ones watched over them. The monkeys covered their eyes. The couple could not be seen from the hatch but a hush indicated that the ceremony was about to begin.
‘Are there any objections to this union?’ read the officiator.
Feona Ferfopp and Jula were standing close to the hatch. ‘Why’s he doing it?’ said Feona. ‘She’s got no family, no fortune and she looks like the stick inside a sugar floss.’
‘Father knows,’ said Jula. ‘I poured him some extra large brandies. He told me it would rock Crust if it were known about.’
‘What else did he say?’
‘That’s it. He’s such a tease.’
‘Let the dual become the unit,’ said the officiator, ‘sole but never solitary. Let the two paths meet and footsteps mingle into one path. Let one tree support the twining of the other’s vine. On and on until the end of life. Let all here witness these your promises.’
‘We do,’ chanted the crowd.
‘Damn,’ said Alas. ‘It’s done.’
Blinda took her place at the eyehole. ‘Just look at that lot,’ she said. ‘I ain’t never felt so thin and raggedy.’
‘Imagine wearing such beautiful things,’ said Lucinda.
‘And gold,’ said Blinda. ‘They got so much they can spend money and wear it.’
The couple signed the official register and the Duldred register and the official papers and the Duldred copies and the lawyer’s copies.
‘What, more?’ Gwendalyn said with a giggle as another sheaf of papers was placed in front of her. When her hand began to tire she looked at her husband questioningly.
‘It’s quite regular,’ he said, ‘for
the mistress of an estate this size.’ He guided her hand to another dotted line.
‘Ring in the union,’ said the officiator.
A shout went out via a chain of upservants to the waiting bellringer who tolled the jubilus on Duldred’s bell while the guests cheered and Jeopardine held Gwendalyn’s hand aloft displaying the ring.
Baracula gathered his papers, exchanging a look of relief with Jeopardine. The Duldred register was handed to Birkin, who turned towards the door.
Raymun opened the hatch. ‘It’s all going well. Let’s keep it up. Soon as they’re out all these chairs need to go back to the basement while they start on the feast. Use the service stairs. Lucinda, you go and wait at the banquet hatch.’
After the feast the waifs were allowed a short rest and a bite of food.
‘Aren’t you going to eat?’ Oy asked Alas.
‘I’m thinking,’ he said. ‘Master passed some papers to Baracula. He put another lot inside his own jacket – he didn’t trust them to Birkin. It was a thick enough wad to spoil the line of his clothes. You know what a fussy dresser he is. He wouldn’t go round with bulging pockets on his wedding day. He’s going to put those papers somewhere safe. Quick, come with me.’
Gritty and Jakes were watching from the Ballroom hatch. The room blazed with crystal and candles. There was a din of raised voices and the clack of heels on wood. The orchestra came to the dais and there was a squiggling of instruments. A single violin player drew his bow rendingly over the strings.
‘Oh,’ Gritty said, ‘that sound. Sweet, sweet sound.’ In the Ballroom the dancers were poised. The rest of the instruments came swelling in to the swinging rhythms of a crinola. Gritty swayed in time. ‘I ain’t never heard anything as fine. I got to get my ears in there for just a minute.’
Jakes looked through the eyehole. ‘Open the hatch a bit then. You won’t be seen. There’s too many legs.’
Gritty opened the hatch slowly. Hidden by Dr Sandy’s stockinged calfs and his companion’s yellow satin skirts, she risked putting her head out into the heart of the music. Through the gaps she could see where the dancers thudded and swished. Then the lines of dancers broke apart giving space to the newly-weds to dance alone but Jeopardine was not there.
Oy and Alas arrived at the hatch. They pulled Gritty back in. ‘Can you see Jep?’ Alas asked.
Gritty shook her head just as Gwendalyn swooned.
Alas pushed Oy towards the steps ‘You cover the offices as far as the Ebony Room, I’ll watch from the old library to the study.’ They felt their way up in the dark and emerged into the second floor runs. Even without lights and bent almost double they moved very quickly. ‘If he’s not there,’ said Alas, ‘try the…’ There was a scream as Alas collided with another body and Oy ran into him from behind. Alas groped around and found an arm. ‘Who is it?’
‘It’s me, Henret. My light went out. I ain’t used to these runs. I don’t know where I am.’
‘Where should you be?’
‘Miss Spindle fainted. She needs salts and somebody forgot to stock the Ballroom. Raymun said try ladies’ bathrooms.’
‘Up a floor,’ said Alas. ‘Go on, squeeze past.’
‘She’s afraid,’ said Oy. ‘I know how it feels to be lost.’
Alas sighed. ‘We ain’t got time…’ Henret sniffed. ‘Go back to the steps with her then, but be quick.’
Down below the rest of the waifs worked to clear the remains of the feast. Only their legs could be seen as they processed out of the Banquet Room. Elyut seemed to have donated his legs to a tower of plates. Blinda’s feet moved under a mountain of linen and napkins. Lucinda looked like a tree whose branches were wax-crusted candelabra.
‘Where’s Alas?’ asked Raymun. ‘I need the biggest here to move these tables.’
Alas walked in. He dragged an oak table across the room. It made a long screech and left tracks on the waxed floor.
Raymun ran at him waving his hands. ‘No, no, no. Put these pads under first.’
But Alas didn’t stop. Frustration drove him on.
31 Cake
When Raymun arrived to lock up that night he came bearing supper.
‘We got white, soft, fluffy bread,’ said Blinda happily.
‘With butter, and cake,’ said Raymun. ‘That’s the new mistress’s doing. She whispered to me that if it weren’t for you – meaning all of us – she and the Master wouldn’t have realised their feelings for each other. All flushed and giddy she was.’
‘Excitement,’ said Lucinda. ‘It must have gone to her head.’
‘Anyway, I’ve to thank you all for working so hard to make the day go smoothly.’ Raymun left them.
Blinda and Lizbuth used each other as backrests while they ate their supper. ‘Being thanked,’ said Blinda. ‘That’s new.’
‘Makes you feel like there’s a point to all the work,’ said Lizbuth.
‘I been eyeing that wedding cake all day,’ said Blinda. ‘Never thought I’d get a taste.’
‘I’m taking it slow like Oy showed us,’ said Lizbuth.
‘I ain’t got the patience for that,’ said Blinda.
‘And I ain’t got patience with you,’ said Alas. ‘Have you all forgotten what this was about? Is that all it takes to get you smiling, thanks and a bit of cake? If we’d have been quicker thinking instead of getting caught up in cakes what look like waterfalls and frocks what look like clouds and music that sounds like – like better places than we’ll ever see, then we might have found out something important today. I’m to blame as well; by the time I thought of it, it was too late.’
‘What’s he talking about?’ muttered Blinda.
‘Him and Oy went to see where Master put the wedding papers,’ said Lizbuth.
‘It’s my fault ain’t it?’ said Henret. ‘I got in the way. I can’t get anything right.’
Oy patted her arm. ‘No, us knocking heads, it made no difference.’
‘I just wanted a bit of light to get my bearings and there was Master and I panicked and ran the wrong way.’
‘Where was Master?’ said Alas sharply.
‘Leave her,’ said Lucinda, ‘can’t you see she’s upset?’
‘Where did you see Master?’ Alas repeated quietly. ‘It’s alright, I ain’t cross with you, only this is important.’
‘In the Ebony Room. I thought I was up a floor. I didn’t think to check the spyhole. I just opened the hatch and there he was. Lucky he was putting something in the wall so he didn’t see me.’
Alas was kneeling in front of her now. ‘How do you mean, putting something in the wall?’
‘He had the wall open next to the fireplace and he put something in there.’
‘Then what did he do?’
‘He reached for the clock. I don’t know what else. I wanted to be away.’
‘That’s alright. You done good.’ Alas took Oy aside. ‘Talk to her; see if you can get her to ’member some more.’
With Oy’s help Henret got the picture up and ’membered two more things. One was that Jeopardine felt under the mantel, the other was that the clock said quarter before three.
Alas barely slept. They were on the brink of something. He knew it.
In the morning he went straight to the Ebony Room. He knocked on the walls and found the hollow place but he couldn’t get into it. He ran his fingers up and down the panels, he prised with his knife, he felt all round the mantle. He questioned Henret over and over but she had no more to tell.
32 The Final Measuring
Oy and Gertie took the escape plan to Molly and asked for her help. At first she refused flat out, saying it was far too dangerous. If they made it past the beaks, if they didn’t get lost or stuck in the sewers, then hounds and horses would ride them down long before they reached the sea. Then they told her what had happened to Kurt and she began to waver.
‘What about the election?’ Gertie tried. ‘Master’s got no more money to put into it and nothing to match Skinnitar’s crackerol
e, except Oy.’
‘How do you mean Oy?’ said Molly.
‘Show her,’ said Gertie.
Oy showed Molly the tricks with his joints.
‘Master’s already tried for Oy’s thumb, then his arm; who’s to say he won’t go for a full set? Sorry Oy.’
Molly took a deep breath. ‘Right, my aunt’s gone to Crust, Oy, you knock up one of your best confections. My cousin Mair loves a pud and she keeps a cart.’
Next day when Molly returned from Mair’s, her hair, usually so soft and curly, was swept straight back from her face and set with salt.
‘What a day I’ve had,’ she said. ‘I swear that cart of Mair’s is only held together by two nails and a bit of rope, and I can waddle faster than that fat old donkey. We took him down to the dunes at Crust. They’re littered with rafts. Picked the best we could and loaded it on the cart. Try doing that against the wind. All puffed out I was. Another hour to get the raft to Drowning Bay with old donkey stopping to crop whenever he feels like it. Wind was even stronger there. Another battle. But it’s done. Only you must wait till Mair gets the cart fixed up and a decent horse to pull it.’
Gertie and Oy ran to either side of Molly and put their arms round whatever bits they could get their arms round. ‘Stoppin’ ’n’ croppin’,’ Molly barked suddenly in a voice very like her aunt’s. ‘Sorry, I made you jump. I’ve never done that before. That’s nerves, see.’
The waifs’ spirits rose as once again they had something to plan for. It didn’t matter if half of them thought it would never happen. It was something to set against the darkness and doubt ahead. Then came another blow. The next measuring was not due for months, but Raymun was delighted that another had been scheduled to test the new inspector.
Alas stood by the rough measuring line in the basement.
‘Oh Lor’ you’ve grown,’ said Lucinda. ‘Bend your knees a bit more. That’s it. You’re under now. That’s what you need to do.’
‘I’m practically crouched,’ said Alas. ‘They’re bound to notice. Whiskers is being marked on this, she’s going to be extra careful.’