by Kirst, Karen
“We’ve been over this already,” she reminded him gently, looping her arm around his shoulders. “It will take a little time, but we will adjust. We’ll learn to make the best of the situation.” They had no other choice.
He scuffed the floor with his shoe. “I guess it beats leaving Gatlinburg. I’ll still have my friends.”
“That’s true. You’ll go to the same church. The same school.” She hugged him close. “I like Frank. Don’t you?”
Will scratched his head. “He’s okay, I guess, but his ma’s an ole sourpuss.”
Sophie stifled a startled laugh. “You mustn’t call her that.” She searched for the right words. “Some people are hard to get to know at first.”
“Like Aunt Cordelia? She used to make me uncomfortable, but now I sort of like her.”
Sophie glanced through the open bedroom door, unable to see Cordelia or the Lamberts as they packed up their belongings. Hopefully they hadn’t overheard that last bit.
“Yes, like that,” she murmured. Although she suspected the outcome wouldn’t be the same with Bonnie, she had to encourage Will to treat her with respect. Their lives would proceed more smoothly if they all got along. “You never know what’s going on in a person’s life to make them the way they are. We’ll have to pray and ask God to help us be patient and kind.”
“I suppose.”
A heavy footstep on the stoop alerted her to a visitor. “I’ll go see who that is.”
Cordelia, who’d been stacking pots in a crate, reached the door first. “Nathan.” Over her shoulder, she shot Sophie a significant look. “Come in.”
Hat in his hands, he hesitated just inside the door. Sophie drank in the sight of him. His brown hair was a little on the shaggy side, and he hadn’t shaved in a day or two, if the dark stubble on his jaws and chin was anything to go by. The fact that he looked a bit of a mess, and a whole lot distracted, made him that much more appealing to her.
Foolish girl. He doesn’t want you. He told you so to your face. His near-death experience hasn’t changed a thing.
Poised beside the cold fireplace, Sophie twisted her hands, hating that, despite everything, she still longed to throw her arms around his waist and hug him tight.
“You’ll have to excuse the disorder,” Cordelia said into the strained silence. “We’re helping Sophie ready her things for the move to Frank’s.”
She winced. Did her aunt have to phrase it that way?
His molten gaze burned into Sophie’s. “I stopped by to see if Will might like to come fishing with me.”
Will shot out of the bedroom. “Of course I wanna go. Do you mind, Sophie?”
“Not at all.”
She recognized this for what it was—a sort of farewell outing. While their move would take them across town, their relationship with the O’Malleys, Nathan in particular, wouldn’t be the same.
Selfishly, she wished she could go along. That she could have one more carefree afternoon with him.
Nathan greeted Will with his usual smile, yet there was a sadness in his eyes he couldn’t hide. He silently waited as her brother located his shoes and hat.
Cordelia resumed her place in the kitchen.
“I packed snacks in case he gets hungry,” he told her. “We may be gone a couple of hours.”
Like a moth drawn to a flame, Sophie drifted closer. “Take all the time you need.”
“I’m ready.” Grinning with anticipation, Will plopped his hat onto his head and swung open the door. “Let’s go.”
With a halfhearted wave, Nathan turned and left, closing the door softly behind him. Sophie moved to the window and watched them go. Walking side by side, Nathan’s hand resting protectively on Will’s shoulder, her heart stuck in her throat. The pair could almost pass as father and son. At the very least, brothers.
Tomorrow would mark the beginning of a new life for her and Will. Mindful of everything she was turning her back on, she wondered if she was making the biggest mistake of her life.
* * *
Their outing proved to be a bittersweet experience. For the sake of the boy, Nathan put on a brave face, teasing and joking as he had in the past, chatting about nothing of consequence as they waited for the fish to bite. Inside, he was wondering how his and Sophie’s lives might have turned out if Tobias hadn’t died. If Cordelia hadn’t interfered.
He wasn’t naive enough to believe Sophie would have remained single forever. She was too sweet, too incredible, for the men in this town not to have noticed, given enough time. But they were out of time, weren’t they? After tomorrow, she’d be Mrs. Frank Walters.
A strange sense of impending disaster spiraled through him, leaving him with the impression that if she went through with this wedding, his chance at happiness was lost forever.
Fanciful thinking again, O’Malley? You told her you didn’t care who you married.
He glanced across at Will lounging on the opposite bank, hair in his eyes and looking content for a change. Poor kid. He’d faced a lot of uncertainty and upheaval lately.
Frank better treat him right, or he’ll answer to me, he silently vowed.
“It’s time for us to head back, buddy.”
Will’s brows snapped together. “Already?”
“Your sister will be wanting you home for supper.” Reluctantly, he gathered his pail and pole. “I didn’t have much success today.” He showed Will the three small fish he’d caught. “How about you?”
“Me, either.” He lifted his bucket.
“Just one, huh? At least it isn’t scrawny like mine.”
Will peered up at him with wide, somber eyes so much like Sophie’s it made his chest hurt. “Will you still wanna spend time with me after Sophie marries Frank?”
Nathan stopped in his tracks. Bent to his level. “We’re friends, right?”
He slowly nodded.
“Just because you’re moving to a new house doesn’t mean we can’t hang out. I still need a fishing buddy.”
An uncertain smile lifted his lips.
“And you know you’re welcome at our house anytime. Ma is continually baking up batches of sweets. Caleb and Pa and I need someone to help us eat it all so we don’t get fat.” He patted his stomach.
Will’s eyes lit with appreciation. “Miss Mary is the best cook around.”
“Listen, I want you to remember that you can talk to me about anything. Anytime you need to get something off your chest, come and see me. That’s another thing friends do. They help each other.”
“Okay.” Will appeared to be satisfied with Nathan’s answer.
“Good.” He straightened, taking note of the sun’s lowered position in the sky beyond the trees. “We’d better make tracks.”
When they approached the cabin, Nathan noticed the Lamberts’ wagon was gone and his cousin’s horse was in the yard. What was Nicole doing here?
As they stowed their gear in the barn, he hated to think of the Tanner homestead empty and abandoned, the buildings crumbling from neglect. Tobias and Sophie had worked tirelessly to keep the place up and running. It must be killing her to leave it.
Reaching the door a second before him, Will shoved it open and went inside to hang up his hat and wash his hands. Nathan followed closely behind. The girlish chatter ceased at once, calling his attention to the far corner of the room. He halted abruptly, jaw going slack at the sight that greeted him.
Framed by the window, the gentle light setting her hair to shimmering like burnished gold, Sophie stood modeling her bridal gown. His gaze skimmed over the details, soaking in the overall impression of pure, natural beauty. This wasn’t a fussy dress. Simple yet elegant, like the woman wearing it. The soft white material clung lovingly to her curves, the sweeping neckline affording him a generous glimpse of gently sloping shoulders and c
reamy skin, the short puffed sleeves revealing smooth, tanned arms, dainty wrists and graceful hands.
In a word, she was stunning.
Sophie should be my bride, not Frank’s. He doesn’t love her like I do.
Nathan’s heart knocked wildly against his rib cage.
What a crazy thought. This was Soph. His friend.
The friend you’ve fallen in love with.
Sophie was watching him intently, head tilted to one side as if trying to decipher his reaction.
“You shouldn’t be seeing her like this,” Cordelia chided, arching that imperious brow of hers at him, intimidating despite her casual dress and lack of feathered creation atop her head.
Crouched at the hem, Nicole gave a dismissive wave. “It doesn’t matter if Nathan sees her dress. He’s not the groom.”
He’s not the groom. The words struck him with the force of a horse’s hoof to the head.
The intensity of his feelings was wholly alien to him. Like a turbulent, roaring river overflowing its banks, it ripped away his reserve, those previously held notions that love and romance were for everyone else but him, that he would be perfectly content on his own, that he and his childhood friend would never, ever, suit.
Lies. All of them.
He. Loved. Sophie. Laughing or arguing, he loved her. Happy or sad, dusty overalls or pristine skirts, he loved her.
“I want Sophie for myself,” he whispered the words out loud.
Strange, the sun didn’t fall from the sky. The buildings around him didn’t collapse into piles of dust. The ground didn’t open up and swallow him whole.
“What was that?” Cordelia asked. “Nicole was speaking. We couldn’t hear you.”
His fingers tightened on his hat, unknowingly crumpling it. “Nothing.”
So the world hadn’t stopped turning. There was just one problem—he’d come to the realization too late. She’d made her choice. Hadn’t he caused her enough trouble for one lifetime? Loving her meant he had to respect her decision. Loving her meant he had to do the right thing and let her go.
No matter how much it killed him to do so, he’d wish her well. And plead with God to help him get over her.
* * *
Nathan looked as if he’d been conked on the head with a milk pail. Not exactly a reaction to inspire a girl’s confidence.
Admit it, an inner voice accused, you harbored the hope that one look at you in this amazing dress and he’d fall at your feet and declare his undying devotion.
That hope died a swift death.
She fidgeted, earning a warning glance from his cousin, who was attempting to shorten the dress’s hem. “Stand still. I don’t want to accidentally poke you.”
“I need to talk to Sophie,” Nathan stated, serious and determined.
What now? she wondered frantically. Another argument? More hurtful truths?
“Go ahead,” Nicole murmured, black head bent to her task, “don’t let us stop you.”
Advancing into the room, Nathan set his hat on the sofa and slipped his hands into his pockets. “Alone.” His tone brooked no argument.
“We don’t have time for this—”
“I’m sure we could afford to give them five minutes of privacy,” Cordelia spoke up, surprising the other women. To Nicole, she suggested, “Why don’t we take a short stroll? I’m sure you could do with a bit of fresh air after the long hours you’ve put in. Besides, I’ve heard rumors of a boutique, and I’d like to hear your plans.”
“Oh.” Her violet eyes sparked with anticipation. Wedging the pin into the material, she stood and wagged a finger at Sophie. “Don’t move from this spot. Got it?”
“Got it.”
“Come along, Will,” her aunt called to the bedroom, “we’re going outside for a bit.”
When the trio had left them alone, the cabin walls seemed to close in on her, an undercurrent of urgency vibrating the air between them.
“How are you feeling?” she asked.
“My head’s a bit tender, but other than that, I’m as good as new.”
Nathan approached with measured steps. Coming very near, careful not to let his boots soil her dress, his hungry gaze roamed her face. “You look like a dream.”
Sophie commanded her heart to slow down.
Her disobedient hand lifted, lightly caressed the side of his head, his brown hair tickling her skin. “You’ve let your hair grow out.”
His mouth quirked even as he grasped her hand and, lowering it, held on tight. “I look like a shaggy mutt.”
With his warm, capable fingers clinging to hers, time slowed, her breathing slowed, her blood turned to sludge in her veins. His beautiful mouth was near enough to kiss.
“No, it suits you.” Her voice came out scratchy. “I like the stubble, too.”
He looked approachable, easy this way. Less forbidding.
You’re getting married tomorrow. Or have you forgotten?
Nathan gingerly tucked a curl behind her ear, silver eyes bright like the midnight stars. “All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy.” A frown tugged at his lips. Releasing her hand, he stuffed his deep into his pockets. “I wanted to tell you that no matter what happens in the future, I’ll always be here for you. We’ve been friends for as long as I can remember, and that’s not going away. Not ever.”
Her heart broke a little. What had she expected? Pressing her hands against her middle, she nodded, willed away the what-ifs, the broken dreams. “I know.”
“Don’t forget it,” he said with a fierce smile. “Promise.”
“I promise.” Please, please go now. I’m not as strong as you think.
“Good.” With a slow pivot, he walked to the sofa and retrieved his hat. At the door, he stopped and looked back. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Then he left her. And she feared the words they’d just exchanged were nothing more than optimistic lies.
Chapter Twenty-Five
“I’m getting married today.” On her knees in the dewy grass, Sophie splayed a hand atop the stone marker flush with the ground. She’d placed a hastily assembled bouquet of wildflowers, mostly daisies, along the top edge. “I think you’d like the idea of Frank as a grandson-in-law, Granddad. I wish you could be here to walk me down the aisle. I wish Ma could be here, too.”
So many impossible wishes.
Twisting, she sat and pulled her knees up to her chest, surveying the scene sprawled out in front of her. Situated on a hill, the cemetery overlooked the quaint, one-room church and this end of Main Street, tranquil and quiet due to the early hour. Dawn was just breaking, the sun barely gracing the mountaintops ringing the valley.
Unable to sleep, she’d quickly dressed in her favorite pants and shirt and left the cabin, drawn to this last place of connection with Tobias and her ma. Will wasn’t home. He’d spent the night with a friend; a good thing because she’d needed to be alone this morning.
Sophie’s gaze settled on the church, the short, fat bell tower silhouetted by the pale pink horizon, the recently repainted white clapboards gleaming. Later that day, in front of the entire town, she’d walk the aisle. She’d pledge to honor and cherish and obey Frank Walters. She would bury her dream of a life with Nathan.
She forced her mind to her groom. She wouldn’t allow herself to be bogged down with sorrow—it wouldn’t be fair to Frank. She wondered about his mind-set this morning. Was he nervous? Excited? Having second thoughts?
Thursday evening, when he’d joined her and Will for supper, he’d seemed as steady as always. Sensitive to her feelings about the move, Frank had been especially attentive, intent on pleasing her and her brother. He hadn’t mentioned the scene in Nathan’s bedroom, and neither had she.
“Lord, I need Your help.” She pushed her loose hair away
from her face. “Frank deserves my utmost respect and devotion. Please help me to honor him with my thoughts, words and deeds.”
Help me forget the love of my life.
Tracing her granddad’s name carved into the stone, she murmured, “It’s time for me to go now, Granddad. Lots to do today.”
Pushing to her feet, she tilted her face toward the lightening expanse above. I don’t know if it’s possible, Lord, but I’d really appreciate it if You would tell him hello for me.
* * *
When Nathan descended the stairs at a quarter until three, he found his parents in the living room already dressed for the wedding. Pa looked up from his task of clasping Ma’s necklace, spectacles reflecting the afternoon light. Deep wrinkles appeared in his forehead when he took in Nathan’s casual clothes. Ma, whose back was to him, didn’t notice.
Josh, wearing head-to-toe black, emerged from the dining room, Kate following closely behind, glowing and vibrant in an emerald-green frock that matched her eyes.
“Why aren’t you dressed?” Josh demanded, tugging on his suit sleeves.
Pausing on the bottom step, he saw Ma twist around. “Nathan, you’re going to be late if you don’t hurry. Why, you haven’t even shaved!”
Josh sauntered over, speculation ripe in his expression. “Those clothes look like you slept in them.” He ruffled Nathan’s hair. “And when was the last time you visited the barbershop?”
Flicking away his brother’s annoying hand, Nathan edged sideways. “I’m not going.”
“What?” Ma gasped. Pa and Kate looked concerned.
“Why not?” Josh demanded.
His mind raced. What reasonable excuse could he give for not attending? While everyone was aware of his general distaste for weddings, this was different. This was Sophie’s special day.
Up until that morning, he’d fully intended on going. However, faced with the prospect of sitting idly by and watching the woman he loved marry another man, he found he just couldn’t do it. Not for his family. Not even for her.
When he said nothing, Ma came over, covered his hand gripping the banister. “Sophie is practically family. Your father is giving her away. How will she feel if you don’t come?”