by B. B. Hamel
Maybe it’s stupid, since she’s bringing so much trouble into my life, but I can’t help it. Truth is, I’ve instigated a lot of this shit. She wanted me to back off and I ignored her warnings, so I deserve some of this.
I just have to be better. And hope that she’s not lost to me completely.
20
Mia
My life is a freaking mess and I have nobody to blame but myself. I know it, but that doesn’t make it any easier.
I’m still stuck in this position.
I’m gloomy all day at work. The sun is shining, the preserve is surprisingly busy, but I can’t seem to enjoy anything right now. I should relax and let go, try and forget about my problems for a few hours, but I just can’t.
Caleb keeps calling while I’m at work, reminding me about all this crap as soon as I manage to forget about it. I’m probably not doing myself any favors by ignoring his calls, but I can’t help myself.
That date was horrible. I had hoped that maybe I was just exaggerating everything and being dramatic, but I wasn’t. Caleb is genuinely an awful person and being around him makes me feel sick, absolutely sick. I’m sure he could take care of me and my father, and probably give me a life with more than I could ever dreamed of, but I don’t want that life.
It’s a life devoid of happiness. Joy isn’t found in things and status. I used to think that making a lot of money and being rich would make me happy, but I’m beginning to realize that it’s only a distraction from the important things.
Family, friends, following your passion, those are the things that mean something to me. Marrying a man like Caleb would basically mean I’d be sacrificing all of those things in order to get some stuff and some money.
I can see what that sort of power can do to a person. I see it in Caleb every day. He has so much money, was given so much in his life, and now he’s this twisted person that expects everything from the world and looks down at others. I don’t ever want to be like that.
Success in business, lots of money, none of that stuff guarantees happiness. It doesn’t even guarantee that you’re a good or smart person.
I don’t want that world. I want to get as far from it as possible, in fact, which is why I keep dodging Caleb’s calls.
I can only imagine what he’s going to do when I really decide to go back on this deal. He’ll probably really lose it and scare the hell out of me, I bet. I’m afraid to tell him, but I know that I have to. I can’t let myself sacrifice my entire life with Caleb.
Maybe the preserve will be destroyed. That’s not definitely. It might survive somehow. Heck, I could marry him, have his kids, and the preserve would get bulldozed ten years later by someone else with even more money. I can’t control the world and I can’t give up everything I am and believe in for something that may or may not happen.
As the day wears on, I keep thinking about Caleb, but my resolve strengthens. I know that I’m going to back out of the deal and tell him the truth at the first opportunity I get. I’m afraid of what he’ll do, but I’m through with being all wishy-washy about this. I can’t let this man bully me anymore.
The day drags on and finally the last guests start to filter out. Laura and I close up the preserve as the sun slowly sets, and I head out around six that night. I’m running a little late, and I’m sure his day nurse is annoyed, but I’ll tip her big time. Or at least as big as I can.
I hurry home and as I pull into the driveway, I’m surprised by what I see.
The car in the driveway definitely is not the nurse’s usual car. In fact, I recognize it, but I can’t imagine that I’m right.
It’s Caleb’s car. Big and dark and expensive, as I climb out and take a look, I know I’m not mistaken.
Shock registers through my system. If Caleb’s car is here and the nurse’s is gone, that means he’s inside alone with my father.
I run to the front door, panicking, heart hammering. Does he know? Does he know that I planned on leaving him and breaking our deal? The most horrifying thoughts race through my mind. Maybe he’s in there hurting my father, doing something awful to him. I wouldn’t forgive myself if my father were in danger and it’s all because of my stupid decisions.
I throw open the door and burst into my house. I have my phone in my head, 9-1-1 already dialed just in case, heart hammering.
My father is sitting in his chair, watching TV. He doesn’t look up as I come in. I run over to his side, crouching down. “Dad, are you okay?” I say to him.
He glances at me for a second before looking back at the TV.
I look over his body. He seems totally fine, normal in fact. I stand up slowly, phone still in my hand.
“Caleb?” I call out.
He appears in the doorway to the kitchen, smiling. “You’re home,” he says.
“What the hell are you doing?” I hiss at him, moving into the kitchen. He follows me, smiling and drying his hands off with a towel.
“Well, I was making spaghetti.” He nods toward the stove where there are a couple pots. I can smell the food cooking.
“No, I mean, why are you here?”
“You weren’t home when I arrived and the nurse looked like she waned to get out of here. So I sent her home.”
I gaped at him. “You can’t do that. You can’t just come in here.”
“Sure, I can,” he says, smiling. “I own you now, remember?”
I take a step back, my eyes wide. “No,” I say.
“Come on, Mia. What did you think this was? I’m not going to hurt your fucking retarded Dad.”
“He’s not retarded,” I spit at him. “He has Alzheimer’s. You sick asshole. And don’t say that word.”
“What, retarded?” He laughs. “Whatever, Alzheimer’s, retarded, I don’t care.”
Real fear jolts through me. He glances down at the phone in my hand and cocks his head to one side. “What are you doing?” he asks me.
“Nothing.” I quickly put my phone into my pocket.
He watches me for a second before smiling again. “You should be happy I’m here. I did you a favor. And now I’m cooking you dinner.”
“I don’t want your food,” I say. “And my dad can’t have spaghetti. He might choke.”
He stares at me, his face going blank. “That’s very rude of you, Mia.”
“It’s very rude of you to barge in here like this. Seriously, Caleb, it’s really creepy.”
“Creepy?” He laughs. “I don’t give a fuck. You agreed to my deal, which means I can do whatever I want with you.”
I stare at him for a second, pulse pounding in my ears. This is my moment, but I’m so afraid. I’m a freaking coward, I realize. Caleb is terrifying and creepy and dangerous, and I need to end this with him right now, but I’m afraid. He might try to hurt me or my father.
But I got us into this and it’s up to me to get us out. I have to be brave and step up. Maybe I would have rolled over and let him do this to me at one point in my life, but I’m stronger now, and I’m starting to learn what I really want out of life.
“I don’t want your deal,” I say to him softly.
“What’s that?” He grins at me. “I didn’t hear you.”
“The deal is off,” I say more loudly, standing up straight. “I don’t want anything to do with you, Caleb. Get out of my house, get out of my life, and leave me alone.”
I take a deep breath, keeping my face serious. I feel good about myself that I just stood up to him. He cocks his head at me, looking at me strangely, but I’m not backing down. I know I’m in the right here.
He steps toward me, his face suddenly totally blank. “Why did you have Lucas beat up my brother?” he asks.
I blink at him, surprised. “What?”
“Your little pet, Lucas. He nearly killed my brother. Why would you do that?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, and I feel that icy chill of fear run down my spine again.
“You fucking bitch.” He starts walking toward
me, and I just turn and run.
He comes after me.
“You dumb fucking bitch!” he screams, rage on his face. “You hurt my brother, you and your fucking pussy friend Lucas. You can’t get out of this deal, you goddamn whore. I fucking own you!” His eyes are wide and the rage on his face terrifies me.
I run from him. He chases me through the living room, around the coffee table, and back through the kitchen. I manage to get past him again as he screams at me, insult after insult, each one worse than the next. I run for the front door, heart hammering, not knowing what to do. I’m afraid he’s going to kill me and my father, and I want to lead him outside.
I throw the door open and get out onto the front porch. But he catches up with me, grabs my arms, and spins me around.
“You stupid cunt!” he screams, and backhands me across the face.
Pain flares up as I fall to the ground. He stares down at me, anger twisting his face into a mask of horror.
“You’re dead,” he says to me.
And I believe him.
21
Lucas
I feel like a damn stalker, but I can’t help myself.
It’s around six o’clock and I’m sitting outside of Mia’s house, parked in the street, debating whether or not I want to go inside and talk to her.
I don’t recognize one of the cars in her driveway, and I assume it’s the nurse. I keep telling myself I’ll wait until the nurse leaves, and then go talk to Mia, but I don’t know what I’m really going to do.
I’m hurt, maybe a little angry with her, but I’m starting to see the truth in all this. The Carters are dangerous, goddamn dangerous. I don’t know if Mia can’t see it, or if they somehow are threatening her. Last night showed me the truth of them.
I was underestimating what the Carters are capable of. I never once imagined they’d come to my house, my own fucking house where my goddamn kid lives. I couldn’t believe it, but there he was, that stupid fucking Carter asshole smashing my shit.
Truthfully, I probably deserved it. I did slash his tires out of anger, after all. But he was going to kill me, or at least he was going to try to with his friends. I was lucky I had my gun out and ready, otherwise I don’t know what they would have tried.
I see that moment playing out in my head. I wish I hadn’t slashed those tires, but I can’t go back and change it. That happened and I have to accept that I made a stupid move out of total anger and spite.
That doesn’t mean Mia deserves to get mixed up with these guys. I need to tell her what I did, apologize to her, and hope that she can see the truth of what these men are. I won’t let them hurt her just because of some stupid mistake that I made.
As I’m sitting there, debating what I should do, I suddenly hear it. There’s a commotion in the house. It sounds like someone is yelling, screaming really, and it sounds bad. I take off my seatbelt, not sure what to do. I don’t want to barge in on a private moment. Her father might be having an episode, and I don’t want to embarrass her by barging in.
But that voice sounds familiar, and it sounds angry as hell. I open the door to my truck and step out.
Suddenly, I get that old feeling. It’s the feeling I used to have before a fight, a premonition of sorts. You develop this strange sixth sense after you’ve been around combat for a long time. It’s this strange buzzing feeling in my skull as adrenaline starts to pump, letting me know that something bad is coming, and I better prepare. I guess my body notices unconscious signals all around me, and knows before my conscious mind can understand what’s coming.
Just then, the front door crashes open. Mia comes running out, her eyes wide, but she doesn’t get far. Caleb comes behind her, grabbing her arm. He yells something and then he hits her across the face, knocking her to the ground.
Rage flows through me. Caleb stands over her, saying something else, but I’m beyond thought at this point. I charge over toward them.
Caleb looks up just in time to see my first slam into his face. He screams and falls back into the house. I follow him, grab his shirt, and then throw him outside onto the front lawn.
Mia watches, her eyes wide, but she doesn’t move to stop me. I punch Caleb once, twice, and then throw him to the ground. He screams in anger and pain and tries to protect himself, but I destroy him, blowing through his defenses. I kick him once, twice, then pull him to his feet again just to punch him in the face a few more times.
When I’m finished, he’s a bloody mess on the ground. He’s not dead, but he’s pretty hurt.
I crouch down next to him. “If you ever come near her again, I’ll fucking murder you,” I say to him. “Do you understand me? I’ll kill you. I won’t hesitate.”
He groans and I assume that means he understands. I move away from him, over to Mia. Her eyes are wide.
“Lucas,” she says. “I’m so sorry.”
I cock my head and crouch down next to her. I gently take her face, looking at it. “You’re going to have a bruise,” I say.
“I’m sorry,” she says again, looking down.
“You have nothing to apologize for. I fucked all this up.”
“No, I did. Caleb’s been blackmailing me, threatening to destroy the nature preserve if I don’t date him. Then he said he’d pay dad’s medical bills, and I thought I could save the preserve and my father all at once, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do it. I told him that and he lost it.”
She talks fast and I watch her, understanding slowly dawning.
None of this was her idea. She’s been trying to sacrifice herself for those that she loves this whole time. When she finishes, I pull her against me, hugging her tight.
“You’re safe now,” I say to her. “I promise, you’re safe.”
I hold her that way, shocked at her strength. She was willing to be with this disgusting man in order to get better care for her father and to save the nature preserve. I’ve been through bad shit, done some hard things, but that’s the kind of sacrifice so few people are capable of.
“I couldn’t do it,” she says, starting to cry, and I hold her tight.
“It’s okay,” I say. “It’s going to be okay.”
Meanwhile, Caleb manages to scrape himself from the ground. He limps over to his car, gets inside, and drives off. I watch him go, but I know that’s not the last we’ve seen of him.
Things just got more dangerous. I think she knows it too, but she’s too busy being freaked out over what just happened. She’s probably never been hit by a man before, and she never will again if I have any say in it.
“Come on,” I say to her gently, helping her to her feet. “We need to get out of here.”
“Where are we going?”
“My place,” I say.
“We can’t. My dad.”
I frown. “We’ll bring him.”
She shakes her head. “He doesn’t do well with change. I can’t leave him.”
I nod, looking into her eyes. “Okay then. I’m staying here tonight.”
She looks at me, biting her lip. “I can’t ask you to do that.”
“Come on. Let’s go inside.” I glance around, suddenly aware that her neighbors probably saw what just happened. I lead her back inside. “Sit down,” I say.
“Cooking,” she says, sitting on the couch. “Caleb was cooking.”
“Okay, I’ll take care of it.”
I go into the kitchen and find the meal Caleb was cooking. I throw the whole thing away before ordering a pizza.
When it arrives, we eat at the table. I can tell Mia is completely distracted and upset, and I try to draw her out in conversation. I ask her about her father, and she talks about him a little bit, but I know she’s upset.
When we finish eating, we watch her father’s shows again, and then she takes him back into his room for a bath. I wait out in the living room while they do their routine, not wanting to get in the way. I call Alice and let her know that I won’t be home tonight, telling her that I’m staying with Mia. She’s pretty
excited and I don’t bother to tell her the details.
After about an hour, Mia comes back out. She stands in front of me, wearing just a tight t-shirt and some shorts. She bits her lips. “My dad’s in bed,” she says. “Asleep.”
I stand up and step toward her. “It’s going to be okay,” I say to her.
“How do you know that?”
I walk over, take her in my arms, and look in her eyes. “Because I’m here now.”
I kiss her deeply and passion flares up between us.
I know this is what I want. I can’t deny it or pretend anymore. The Carters aren’t going to get in the way of what I need. I’m going to take it and own it, because that’s the kind of man I am.
22
Mia
When Lucas kisses me, suddenly all of my worries slip out the back of my mind. Maybe that’s silly, since I was just beaten by one man today, but I can’t help myself.
He was going to kill me. I saw it in his eyes. If Lucas hadn’t been outside, I don’t know what would have happened to me. Caleb probably would have beaten me into a bloody pulp and then killed my father.
But he didn’t, because Lucas was there.
I don’t know why Lucas hasn’t run away yet. I’ve done nothing but hurt him and push him away, even though I want him so badly. I’ve been so stupid this whole time. Lucas is the only strong thing in my life, the only good thing, and he still wants me. I don’t really understand why, because I haven’t done anything to deserve it. I’m afraid of what it means.
But as soon as he kisses me, none of that matters.
It’s pure desire that floods through me. I remember what he said to me that afternoon out in the preserve, the way he made my body feel, everything about him. It all comes flooding back, making my body tingle with desire. My pussy is dripping wet as I taste him, loving his strong hands and mouth and everything about him.