by B. B. Hamel
I grin at her and make her come stand with me at the door. I kiss her goodbye.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say.
“Promise?”
“Promise,” I say, nodding.
“Good.” We kiss one more time and then I open the door and head out. I give her one last grin before getting into my truck and pulling out.
I feel so fucking good as I pull out and start driving. I don’t think anything can possibly ruin my good mood. There aren’t many cars on the road this late at night, which makes it easy to drive a little faster than normal.
I have a girl now. There’s no denying it. I know she’s not going back to the Carters, absolutely no way. She’s mine, all fucking mine, and they can’t take her away from me even if they fucking tried. I’m going to burn them down, destroy them for what they did to Mia, and then I’ll spit on their dead bodies.
As I drive, my mind drifting between revenge and Mia, a pair of headlights suddenly fills my rearview mirror. I frown as they get closer and closer.
“What the fuck?” I mutter to myself. The guy is driving fast, way too fast, and way too close. We’re on a back road with trees on either side of it, basically a small road through a dense forest, and this guy is driving like a fucking prick.
I slow down a little bit to let him pass, but he doesn’t. The vehicle behind me is a truck, I can see that, about the same size as my own. But he’s not trying to pass. Instead, he’s just driving closer to me.
I honk my horn and wave my arm out the window, trying to get him to go around. But instead, he suddenly jolts forward and slams his vehicle into my bumper, making my truck swerve.
I regain control, cursing. I hit the gas, trying to get away from the psycho, but he doesn’t let up. He goes faster, getting closer to me, as I hurry away from him. The road gets winding and tight up ahead, but he’s not slowing down.
I have to hit a curve going way too fast. I nearly lose control, but I stay on the road. The truck meanwhile sticks right behind me.
As he comes around the bend and onto the next straightaway, he suddenly accelerates forward, pulling up alongside me. I can hear the scream of his engine over the beating of my heart, but just barely.
I look over to my left and I feel anger well up deep inside of me, more anger than I thought I could have.
It’s fucking Dylan Carter. I can see him there, grinning this mad grin, laughing and looking at me. I have to turn away as the next curve comes up. I want to try and accelerate through it, get away from him. I’ll lose this fucker and then kill him out here for trying this insane shit.
But I hit the curve going too fast and I know it. As soon as my truck hits the turn, I can feel that I fucked up. Dylan’s truck swings sharply at the right second, nudging his nose into my tail, sending me spinning.
The last thing I remember is my truck slamming into a tree, and then black.
24
Mia
I feel so good the next morning that I can barely think. I wake up and go through my father’s morning routine with him, a smile on my face the whole time.
I keep checking my phone, expecting something from Lucas, but there’s nothing. Normally I might be a little upset about that, but for some reason I’m incredibly confident about him.
Last night was the realest I’ve ever been with a man before. I felt so vulnerable and open with him, calling him Daddy like that. I felt like we finally understood each other, and we both know where we stand.
We’re together. I’m his, and there’s no stopping that. Even if the Carters try and get in the way, I won’t back down, not ever. Lucas is the first thing in my life to really make me feel good, happy and free. I can’t give that up for anything, not again. I’ve messed around too much with Lucas these past few weeks, but I’m done with that.
Everything feels lighter and better now. I don’t know how to explain it, but it does. I feel good, really good, just knowing that Lucas is out there probably thinking about me too. I want to tell him how I feel, really say the words that have been bubbling in the back of my mind since we first kissed, but maybe it’s too soon. I don’t know.
But it feels so good to even think about that. I can’t stop smiling all morning as the nurse comes to take over for my father. I get ready for work, still grinning like an idiot, thinking about all the things I want to say to Lucas.
I’m a little sore between my legs as I drive to the preserve. That only makes me think more about him. I laugh a little bit, amazed at what he could do to me. It was a little crazy, doing that right there with my father asleep, but it didn’t matter. Neither of us even hesitated. I wanted him so badly that I couldn’t resist his touch even if I wanted to.
Lucas pushes me further than I thought possible, and it makes me so damn thankful to finally have someone that wants me for me. Caleb Carter only ever wanted me because he thought I was attractive and smart enough to be a good wife for him. He just wanted to use me for his own purposes.
Lucas doesn’t want to use me. Lucas wants to make me feel good.
And I do. I feel incredible as I climb out of my car and head up into the office, a big smile on my face.
“Good morning!” I call out. I head over to the coffee pot and pour myself a mug.
Laura comes out from her office. I beam at her, feeling great.
“How are you this fine morning?” I ask her.
She frowns at me, and I stop in my tracks. Laura looks at me, her face a little pale, like she just saw a ghost or something.
My smile weakens slightly and I cock my head. “What’s wrong?” I ask her.
“You’re close with Lucas Hayes, right?” she asks softly.
I stop dead, my smile entirely gone. She doesn’t look like she has good news for me, and true fear jolts up through my core. “What happened?” I ask her.
“Come here,” she says to me.
“No,” I say, recoiling away from her. “What happened, Laura?”
“He got in an accident last night,” she says. “A car accident late last night. He lost control and hit a tree going pretty fast.”
I stumble backwards, away from her, and the coffee mug in my hand slips from my fingers and smashes on the ground.
“Shit!” I curse, moving away from it. “Laura, is he okay?” I ask, staring at her, the color draining from my face. I grip the counter like I want to tear it to pieces.
“He’s alive,” she says. “But honey, he’s in bad shape.”
“I have to see him,” I say. “I have to go see him right now.”
“He’s at Mercy General,” she says. “You can go, but I don’t know if he’ll be awake.”
I want to throw up. How could this have happened? I run out to my car, not bothering to clean up my spill, not able to even think about anything but Lucas. I jump into my car, start the engine, and speed off toward the hospital.
It happened after he left my house. I know it. Maybe he had too much whisky, maybe he was drunk. I shouldn’t have let him drink. What the hell were we thinking? He was tired, maybe he fell asleep while driving home, or maybe he was just distracted.
Or maybe I’m not meant to be happy. That was the universe’s way of taking away the one thing that brought real joy into my life, all because I got too much happiness. I got that one night with him, and now it’s all gone, torn from me the moment he decided to leave.
I can’t think that way, I can’t let myself. It’ll be so easy to fall back into bad thoughts but I won’t let that consume me. I have to see him and find out how bad it is before I let myself drop into true despair.
He won’t leave me. I have to believe that. He won’t die and leave me here without him, because he promised he’d keep me safe.
The hospital is a ten-minute drive and it flies by as I go as fast as I can. I get there and practically run inside. The woman at the desk looks up at me as I stand in front of her, shaking and terrified.
“Can I help you, honey?”
“I’m looking for Lucas Ha
yes’s room,” I say to her.
She nods and types at her computer. “He’s in 301,” she says. “Elevator is around the corner, take it up, he’ll be one of the first rooms there on the left.”
“Thanks,” I say, and hurry to the elevator. I ride it up, shaking, and step off on the third floor. I walk forward, looking at the room numbers, barely able to think until I find his room. The door is partially shut.
I push it open a crack and step inside.
Alice is sitting at the bedside with Noah in her arms. She looks at me, a frown on her face.
“Mia,” she says.
I step toward the bed, eyes on Lucas.
He looks dead. He’s breathing, but his eyes are closed. There’s bruising all over his face, and his right arm is in a cast. I can only imagine what the rest of him looks like. I step to the side of the bed and drop to my knees next to him. I take his hand and stare into his eyes, and for a second I think he looks at me.
But he doesn’t, and I burst into tears.
“Oh, honey,” Alice says, and she’s suddenly next to me, holding my shoulders. I sob like an idiot, but I can’t stop myself. I can only imagine what she thinks right now. Little Noah makes some noises from the seat Alice put him into before coming over to comfort me.
“It’s okay,” she says. “There you go, let it out.”
Slowly, my crying subsides. She holds my hand, frowning at me, as I slowly get myself together.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“For what, sweetie?”
“Everything,” I say. “He was coming home from my house when… when it happened.” I bite my lower lip.
“I know, honey. It’s okay. It’s not your fault. It’s nobody’s fault.”
“What happened?” I ask her, desperate for an explanation.
She sighs, shaking her head. “I don’t know much yet. Apparently, his truck was found by a trucker in the middle of the night. If that guy hadn’t found him, Lucas would be dead.”
“Is he going to live?” I ask her.
“It looks that way,” she says, and relief floods my body. “He hasn’t woken up from surgery yet. They had to fix a lot of his bones. But I think he’s going to live.”
I fight back tears again. “Do you know how it happened?” I ask her.
“Nobody knows,” she says. “There was a tiny bit of alcohol in his blood, but it was under the legal limit. Apparently there are some strange marks on his bumpers, and the police seem to think there may have been someone else involved, but they’re not sure. Right now, we won’t know until he wakes up.”
Cold fear runs through my veins, and I suddenly know what happened.
I can’t be sure, of course, but part of me feels like I just know. There’s a part of me that’s positive the Carters did this to him. I don’t know how, but deep inside of me, I just know.
Noah starts to get fussy so Alice stands and walks over to him. “I’ll leave you alone with him for a bit while I walk Noah around,” she says. “You okay with that?”
I nod to her. “Thank you.”
She picks up Noah. “Listen, honey. This isn’t your fault, okay? It really isn’t.”
I nod at her, not really listening. She touches my shoulder then heads out.
This is my fault. She doesn’t know it, but it is. If it weren’t for me getting involved with Caleb and Lucas at the same time, none of this would have happened. It’s my fault that I went between the two and thought I could get involved with a dangerous man like Caleb. It’s my fault that he was over my house, and now he’s paying the price for my stupid mistakes.
If Lucas dies or doesn’t fully recover, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ll be a broken person for the rest of my life, and I deserve to be. I don’t deserve a man like Lucas, because I’m a bad person.
I take his hand, sitting there and watching him breathe, terrified that he’ll never wake up. If he doesn’t, that means I killed him. I got him killed. All because I’m a stupid, foolish girl.
I should never have brought him into this. I should have lived with my mistake with Caleb, or at least stood up to him myself. But because of my weakness, Lucas is lying in this hospital bed, maybe dying.
I don’t know how long I sit there for. Alice leaves and I’m alone with my thoughts, Lucas breathing slowly but surely. I don’t know if he’ll ever wake up, or if I’ll be alone here forever, a lost and destroyed person.
I can’t seem to see things straight. I cry again, though I’m not sure for how long. I’m in there, staring at Lucas, when a knock at the door pulls me out of my mind.
A nurse steps inside. “Are you Mia?” she asks me.
I stands up. “Yes,” I say. “Is everything okay?”
“A young man is looking for you,” she says. “He’s just out here.” The nurse smiles and disappears.
I frown, not sure what this is. Maybe it’s Josh, Lucas’s friend. I step outside, expecting to see him, but instead I’m confronted with Caleb Carter.
His face is a mess. Lucas really beat the hell out of him. Both of his eyes are black, and he has a bandage on his nose, more like a splint. But he’s conscious and standing here, looking at me, while Lucas is in there.
“How dare you come here,” I say to him.
“Hold on,” he answers. “Just hear me out, Mia.”
“You fucking bastard.” I step toward him, rage flowing through me. “You did this to him, didn’t you? You did this.”
He takes a step back, looking confused. “What are you talking about?”
“Lucas is in there, maybe dying. Someone ran his truck off the road. And I know it was you.”
Understanding blooms across his face. “Mia—“:
“No, you asshole. No. I’m done with you.”
“I never wanted it to come to this,” he says, and for a second I believe him.
“Get out,” I say softly. “Go away and never come back.”
“Mia—“
“Get out!” I scream at him and hit his chest, shoving him away. He stumbles back, his eyes wide.
“I never meant to hurt you,” he says quickly. “Things got out of hand. I deserve what Lucas did to me, I’m so sorry—“
“Get out!” I scream again and shove him harder.
People are staring now, but I don’t care. It doesn’t matter to me. The only thing I can think about is hurting Caleb and making him go away. I can’t stand to see him for another second, not when Lucas is lying so close, unconscious and maybe dying because of that bastard.
“Never come back!” I scream. I hit him, swinging wildly, and he stumbles back away from me, eyes wide.
People come at us, doctors and nurses. Someone grabs me, but I’m in a rage, and I can barely think. I’m pulled away from Caleb and he leaves as fast as he can, trailed by two nurses.
People are talking to me, calming me down, but I don’t hear anything. When they finally let me go, I just turn and go back into Lucas’s room. I sink down to my knees, take Lucas’s hand, and I wait.
He says he’ll protect me. I believe him. But now I’m going to protect him, too. I may be to blame for his accident, but I’m going to make it up to him somehow. I’m going to keep those bastard Carters away from him at the very least. If they ever come around here again, I’ll kill them.
I’ll kill them with my own bare hands.
25
Lucas
I don’t know where I am.
I hear metal crunching, glass breaking. I hear voices and engines. I hear machines, beeping, more voices, more engines, more beeping. For a while, it all goes quiet.
And then I hear Noah. He’s crying and Alice is there. She’s calming him down. I don’t know where I am. I hear voices, more voices, and more machines. I feel a hand, I hear Noah, I hear Mia. I hear Mia screaming. I feel another hand, more machines, hours must pass. I don’t know where I am.
And then slowly, the world comes back to me. I open my eyes and it feels blurry, like it’s filtered and warped. I blink
and groan. My whole goddamn body is in pain. I feel like that time an IED went off near our convoy and my ass got blown halfway across fucking Syria.
I groan and try sitting up, but someone stops me. It takes a little while before I can focus enough to see Mia there, looking at me with this concerned expression.
“Hey,” I say to her. My voice sounds like I haven’t spoken in awhile.
“You’re awake.” She looks like she’s about to cry.
“Yeah. Where am I?”
“You’re in the hospital,” she says. “Lucas, I’m so happy you’re awake.” She squeezes my hand and I squeeze back.
Everything hurts. I look around.
“Alice took Noah home for a nap,” Mia says. “She hasn’t left your side.”
“How long have I been here?”
“You’ve been asleep for almost a day,” she says. “What do you remember?”
“Leaving your place,” I say, trying to think. I can see walking to my truck, turning it on, and driving. Then things get hazy. I see headlights… big headlights… filling my rearview mirror.
“Someone was following me,” I say softly. “When I left your house. Someone was driving too close.”
“Who?” she asks, leaning toward me. “Who was it, Lucas?”
“I don’t know,” I say. There’s a gap in my memory, a blank. I just can’t see it.
She frowns, looking disappointed. She takes my hand. “I’m so sorry, Lucas.”
“For what?”
“This is my fault.”
I look at her and shake my head. “It’s not so bad. I’ve had worse.”
“You broke your arm. And some ribs. And you had some internal bleeding. You almost died.”
“My legs okay?” I ask her.
She pauses. “Yeah,” she says.
“Then it’s fine. I’ll walk.”
She sighs. “Lucas, it was the Carters. I know it was them. And it wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for me.”
“Maybe,” I say slowly. “But I can’t remember.”