Leaning back on the wall, I sniffle, wipe my nose with the inside my elbow. “Evidently, The Av turns on my water works — on a daily basis.”
“Good. Letting it flow is far healthier than damming it up for eons. You’ll feel better tomorrow.”
“I don’t think so. God. Poor Jesse,” I say.
“No, no, no. You don’t owe him anything. It’s not your fault that you don’t feel the same for him as he does for you.” Lauralynn closes her eyes, sighs loudly as though she’s just had an epiphany for herself. “It’s just chemistry and out of our control. No one has the right to lay a guilt trip on another person for what they do or do not feel.”
“It’s just pheromones?”
“Correct.” Lauralynn smiles. “And who knew they’d be visible to the naked eye.”
“I don’t follow.”
“The chemistry between you and Victor — it sizzles. He’s totally in love with you.”
“That’s absurd. If people fall in love at all, it doesn’t happen this quickly,” I say.
She slips her phone out of her pocket, taps around on the screen and hands it to me. “Visual proof that the near insta-love my mother asserts is real, does, in fact, exist.”
The video on her phone is of Victor and me dancing just moments ago.
Lauralynn leans in. “That is the face of a man in love. That tender gaze and the way he touches you would have Nora Roberts taking notes. Honestly, the man couldn’t keep his eyes off you all night. He adores you, C.”
In the video, our dance turns us back toward Lauralynn’s lens just as I lift my head to look into Victor’s face. Horrifically, I recognize the adoration on my face. It’s the way Mom used to look at Dad.
“Dammit.” I start all over again with a fresh bout of tears.
“Uh, huh.” She pauses the video on my face. “You’re in love with him, too, aren’t you?”
“God, I should have stayed a virgin.”
Laughing, she stands. “It’s the curse of overachievers everywhere. We fall in love at the drop of a hat.”
I narrow my eyes at her. “So, you have been in love.”
Scratching the back of her head, she sighs deeply, again. “I’m not sure it was love. Let’s just say I’ve been in Jesse’s shoes. Unrequited feelings hurt like hell. You’re lucky. You found it right away.”
“It being?” I pull my legs under me to stand.
“The thing every single human on the planet wants — loving someone who loves you back.”
“You think?” I think Lauralynn is more of a romantic than any of us give her credit for. Speaking of romantics, “I gotta find Jesse, make sure he’s okay.”
“I’ll go with you,” she says.
On our way out, we turn off the light. We walk back the way we came. The total silence, even before we get near the ballroom, makes it apparent that the party’s over. Except for staff packing up video games and cleaning up, the room is empty. Michael turns when he hears our footsteps.
“Chéri.” He holds his arms open for a hug.
I accept the hug greedily.
Moon-bow rubs my back. “I don’t know what all that shit was about. Only thing I’m certain of is that Gabby’s a bitch.”
I shake my head no. “Turns out I’m the bitch.”
“Oh, like hell, cher,” he says. “The only accurate thing that came out of her hideous mouth was ‘hot Cajun chef’.” He winks.
I can’t help but laugh. Lauralynn grins, too.
“No, really. I screwed up,” I say. “I hurt someone I care a lot about.”
Michael grips my shoulders. “Been there. We’re only human. All you can do is apologize.” He kisses my forehead. “Forgive yourself in the process, eh, cher?”
I nod. “Any idea where my purse is?” I glance around for my purse. It contains my phone.
“Your mom took it for safekeeping.”
“Okay. Any idea where Jesse is?”
Michael looks at Lauralynn then at me. “You don’t want to find Santana? He was mighty upset himself.”
“Not yet.” I look at my hands, guilt gnawing at me. “Jesse first.”
“Alright. Try the lounge. And, girlie, the next time you need a place to hide, the southwest corner of my kitchen has a stashed bottle of Marnier.” He winks.
I grin. “Noted, Moon-bow. Thanks.”
“Anytime, sweetheart. Whatever I can do to help, ever, just ask.”
Lauralynn and I walk through the main ballroom door.
“Chef’s a nice guy. I like him.” Lauralynn hooks her arm through mine as we make our way to the lounge via the lobby.
“You don’t have to hang with me. It’d probably be easier if I talk to Jesse alone.”
“I don’t think that’s going to happen.” She raises her chin toward the lounge. There’s Gabby, sitting across a table from Jesse, holding his hands.
As we come closer, they see us. Jesse scowls. Gabby frowns.
Gabby speaks first. “C, I’m sorry —”
Still angry at her, I hold my hand up. Later.
I ignore her, turn to Jesse. He won’t even look at me.
“Jesse — ” is all I get out before he jumps up and stalks away.
“God, would you listen to me,” I say.
“You’ve got nothing to say that I want to hear.” Hurrying through a French door to the portico, he steps onto a side terrace.
I make Lauralynn stay with Gabs while I follow Jesse outside. He begins to walk away again.
“Don’t be an asshole!” I shout.
That makes him mad enough to plant his feet and look at me.
“Me?” He points at himself. “I’m being an asshole? Now, let’s see.” He rubs his chin in mock thought. “Granted, I think of myself as an ass — of course I am, what with chasing your ass in vain all this time. But I am not an asshole. I would never have done something like that to you. Fucking never!” He bellows.
My chest hurts, it heaves wanting to sob, again. I push the crybaby side of me away.
“I know you wouldn’t. That’s because you’re better than me, Jesse.” I force air into my lungs. “I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you this morning. You didn’t show.”
Hands on his hips and hurt in his eyes, he stares at me. “So tell me now.” His voice is softer.
I look down, take another huge breath and consider my words. I look back up. Jesse deserves to be looked in the eye and I don’t want to give the impression that I’m ashamed, because I’m not.
“I’m seeing Victor,” I say calmly with an even voice.
My strategy doesn’t work. Anger takes over Jesse’s countenance, again.
“What the fuck does seeing him mean? Dating? Fucking? What exactly is it that two of you do that leaves you bruised after you see Victor?” Jesse says Victor as though it’s a swear word.
“That’s none of your business and not what we need to talk about.”
Jesse snickers in a nasty way. “Oh, baby, is it that dirty?”
“Stop it!”
“How, Cherie? How the hell did he seduce you so fucking fast? I want to know what the fuck I did wrong this past year.”
“Nothing. You didn’t do anything wrong. I think the world of you, Jesse. You know that. I just don’t — ” How do I say what I mean without hurting him more?
“You just don’t think of me in a sexual way.”
“I did. A little.”
I even wanted to be with you. But not after Victor. Not now.
I try and fail to hold back the damn insistent tears. God, how much liquid could one body possibly expel?
“You’re killin’ me, baby.” Jesse’s eyes get glassy, too. “All I ever wanted to do was love you.”
“I’m sorry.” I sob.
He looks past me to the door into the lounge. “Son of a bitch.” He growls and spins, walking quickly toward the corner of the building.
Glancing over my shoulder, I see Lauralynn, Gabs and Victor at the glass watching us. A small understanding
smile on his face, Victor’s not jealous. He just nods, encouraging me to continue with Jesse.
“We’re not done.” I run after Jesse. Behind me, I hear the door open and footsteps follow us. Gabby and Lauralynn just can’t stay out of this.
Walking quickly, I follow Jesse around a blind corner and slam into his back so hard that I almost fall down. He spins, grips my shoulders, turns me around and gives me a little shove toward the door.
“Go back inside. Take them with you,” he whispers, no longer angry all of a sudden.
Confused, I twist forwards, turn to look in his eyes. “What? Why?”
“Cherie, just do as I say.” Jesse’s voice is hard and serious.
Hearing strange grunting noises, I look past Jesse and gasp when I see what had stopped him in his tracks. “Oh my god,” I whisper in shock.
There in the distance, between some tall bushes, with his pants around his ankles, stands Baldwin with some redhead’s mouth around his penis.
“Suck me, baby. Suck all of me,” Baldwin says to the girl as he thrusts into her mouth.
Knowing Gabs is behind me, I step back around the corner to grab her arm. She doesn’t need to see her groom in that position.
“We’re done. Let’s go.” I tug her arm hard, but I’m not strong or fast enough to move a wolf — even a female wolf. With a hissing breath, Gabs almost collapses at the sight in the bushes.
Jesse’s face contorts in anger. He turns from us.
“You fucking dick!” Jesse shifts while he advances on the copulating pair.
I've never seen his wolf. Never even seen his fangs. In shock, I stand still and watch the transformation.
Baldwin and the girl glance toward the terrace for the first time.
The girl, wide-eyed, jumps up and runs away. Covering his crotch with one hand, Baldwin grabs for the waistband of his pants with the other. He doesn’t get a chance to pull them up, though, before Jesse pounces to land a hard punch on his nose. Blood spurting and tangled in his pants, the cheater hits the ground with a solid thump.
Baldwin starts to morph, too, but his transformation is slow. Jesse, as wolf, hovers over him and pummels him, hitting him again and again.
Victor hurries past us girls.
“Take Gabby inside,” Victor says to me and Lauralynn. Propping Gabby up between us, Lauralynn and I walk back to the lounge door.
Looking back, I watch Victor try to stop Jesse from killing Baldwin. Jesse, I’m certain fueled by anger at me and now at Baldwin, takes a lunge at Victor.
Victor dodges it.
“You don't want me to turn alpha,” Victor snarls at Jesse.
Gabs’ bloody groom takes the opportunity run off in the direction of the redhead.
“You’re a fucking coward!” Jesse shouts after him. “If I ever see your sorry ass again, I’ll kill you!”
Inside, Lauralynn and I take Gabs straight to the elevator.
“I can’t believe he did that to me,” she whispers. “Why?”
Exactly. Why has been my question for years. Why do some people put themselves in a position to get hurt? Why do some people put themselves in a position to do the hurting?
Conscious that I could — as Gabs screamed — be in the second camp. How is what Baldwin just did to Gabs any different than what I did to Jesse? Dancing with Victor like I did, kissing him like I did, I may as well have been giving him a blow job in front of Jesse, in front of everyone.
I hug Gabs. “I’m so sorry, G.”
Upstairs, in her suite, Gabs falls into a chair. Lauralynn heads instantly to the bar cart and pours us each a drink. Handing us ours, she sits next to me on the couch.
Gabs sniffs her glass. “Whiskey?”
“If ever there were a night that deserved to be capped off with a fiery liquid and forgotten, this fucked up one is it.”
“No kidding.” I down half the glass in one swallow. It burns like hell in my throat. I cough.
Happy birthday to me.
chapter thirty-one
“TECHNICALLY, I’M SUPPOSED to call the Alliance when a wolf shifts in public on Avalon property.”
In my office, I clean Jesse’s knuckles with a wad of antiseptic from a first-aid kit.
“Go ahead, Victor.” He sneers.
“Don’t tempt me, punk.”
I roll a bandage tightly around his right hand.
“I appreciate you sticking up for my cousin. One piece of advice, though. No matter how pissed off you are, never say that you’re going to kill someone. That could come back to bite you in the ass.”
“I meant it. Baldwin’s a fucking idiot. He’s never treated Gabriela right. The douche has no idea the treasure he just lost.”
Bandaging paused, I look at the kid. “I thought you had the hots for Cherie?”
He looks at me, then with a furrowed brow, down at his knuckles. “I do.”
“My mistake. I thought I just heard you call my cousin a treasure.”
The bandage secured, Jesse flexes his fingers. “She is. They both are.”
Well, fuck me. The kid has a thing for Gabby. Judging by the way she tore into Cherie for hurting him, I’d say it was mutual.
“Let’s go check on the treasures, shall we?”
The kid cinches the waist of the too-big sweats I loaned him.
We walk out of my office to the elevator.
“Gabby thinks you’re a great guy,” I say.
“Yeah?” He narrows his eyes at me.
“Uh, huh. She told me that a number of times.”
When the elevator opens on six, we walk to my cousin’s suite at the end of the hall.
“You know better than to act on that intell tonight, right?”
“I’m not an idiot, Victor.”
“Could have fooled me, punk.”
I slide my master keycard into the door. The lock clicks open.
Once inside, I look for Cherie. When my eyes find her, my gut ties in knots. Her eyes are red and swollen, dark mascara stains underneath them. She glances at me briefly, lifts a glass of amber liquid to her mouth.
The bourbon decanter on the table calls my name. Opening the stopper, I pour a glass.
“Jesse?” I tilt the bottle at him.
“Fuck, yes.”
I pour another, hand him the glass. Then, I stand behind Cherie, sitting on the sofa. I squeeze her shoulder.
Hearing the door mechanism click, we all jump a little. Jesse, especially, looks ready to pounce. It’s not Baldwin, though. It’s Reed.
“Hey.” He looks around at everyone. “I dug your something-new out of my bag.”
He hands Gabby a small jewelry box. He takes in the drinks, the down faces.
“Who the fuck died?”
“The wedding.” Gabby lifts her glass like she’s toasting.
“Serious?” Reed’s jaw hangs open.
“We all witnessed Baldwin getting sucked by some bimbo.” She indicates everyone in the room except Reed.
“Jesus.”
Reed pours himself a drink.
With a tight smile, Cherie holds out her glass for more. My cousin accommodates her.
After Cherie ran out of the party and I couldn’t find her on foot or by scent, I resorted to the security cameras. The two blonde girls were quick and easy to spot. The room they were hiding in was the only one lit up in the conference bank of monitors.
I was half way out the door when Grandmother snagged me by the collar.
“Lauralynn’s there for her,” she said.
“I need to be there for her.”
I pulled my collar free, spun to the door, again, half way out when she used her wolf voice and deployed her secret weapon — using my two first and two surnames.
“Victor Juan Santana y Ruiz! Freeze!”
“Grandmother.” I had hissed through my teeth, torn between showing respect for the head of my family yet making sure my girl was okay.
“Do you want to do what’s best for Cherie? Or for yourself?”
“Then. Sit. Down.” She had pointed to a chair. “The girl needs to let go of bottled up grief that has nothing to do with you. Your presence will only hinder that.”
I listened to grandmother, but I couldn't sit — not while Cherie cried and cried and cried. I just watched the monitor and paced, tamping down my instincts to go to her and do whatever I could to mend her broken heart.
By the look of her eyes right now, she cried out a lifetime of grief. Cherie downs the rest of her bourbon.
“What do you need from us, G?” Cherie says.
I squeeze my girl’s shoulder, again. I’m amazed that she’s even speaking to Gabby. Despite my cousin’s troubles, every time I look at Cherie’s tearstained face, strangling Gabby goes to the top of my to-do list.
“It takes hundreds of calls to cancel a wedding. How are your dialing fingers?” Gabby says.
“I’m relieved you’re handling this so well,” I say. “Thank you for not throwing a hissy and trashing the suite.”
Gabby laughs. “You’re welcome.”
“You’re in shock. It’ll hit you later,” Cherie says. “My mom didn’t react until weeks after.”
“I’m not like your mom,” Gabby says.
“Apparently, neither am I.” Cherie swallows a huge gulp of bourbon, grimaces in pain as it goes down.
“C, I didn’t mean it. You know that. I was just —” Now Gabby’s tearing up, she darts a glance at Jesse.
Looking down, Cherie swirls her drink. “Yeah, you did mean it.”
“I didn’t! I swear, Cherie, I didn’t. You’ve got to believe me.”
With a shrug and a nod, Cherie doesn’t say yes or no.
“I will apologize for the rest of my life,” Gabby murmurs.
“Yes, you will.” Lauralynn stands, goes over to hug Gabby. “That wasn’t sanctioned La Mousequetaire behavior.”
Reed chuckles, smiles at Lauralynn. “You girls still play that game?”
Lauralynn stiffens. “It’s not a game. Chicks before dicks, always. Guys come and go, some faster than others.”
Losing his smile, Reed crosses his arms. “What the fuck does that mean, Ells?”
“Si habla English?” Lauralynn says.
Their dislike for one another is over the top, nearly a physical entity in the room. Lauralynn makes a wide berth around Reed, like he has the plague and is ultra contagious. Reed shifts out of the way as though the girl has extra long talons. He stares at Lauralynn as she picks up her purse.
Accidental Lover (Wolven Moon Book 3) Page 22