by Dyan Sheldon
It was a typical day out with the Zindles – Mrs Zindle criticized Mr Zindle’s driving, Mr Zindle insisted on keeping his window open so they all froze, and Sofia hit her mother over the head with a hairbrush and then cried the rest of the way because her mother hit her back. Savanna was huddled in one corner of the back seat, staring out of the window as they drove through Lawson, watching all the other people who might have been her family, but weren’t, walk by.
That was the psychotic part.
The psychic part was that while she was looking out of the window, who should she see but Morgan Scheck.
He was standing across the street, under the awning of a Mexican restaurant, texting on his cell phone.
Here’s another example of how the Fates were in control: the Zindles’ car stopped at the light at the corner.
“There’s that store I want to check out!” announced Savanna. “I’ll take the bus home.” And she jumped out of the car.
She made sure that her parents were a block away before she shouted, “Morgan! Morgan! Hey! I’m over here!”
Hearing his name, Morgan looked up. But his face didn’t light up with happy surprise, as it should have. It went blank. He looked down again.
“Morgan!” screamed Savanna. A truck rumbled between them.
“It was kind of like in a movie,” said Savanna. “Where the good guy’s chasing the bad guy and then a train gets between them and when it finally passes the good guy isn’t there any more?”
“He disappeared?”
“Worse than that.” She sipped her coffee. “He was with another girl.”
“I don’t suppose she was just a friend?”
“She was kissing him.”
“His sister?”
“On the mouth.”
A lot of people – people like me – would have slunk back into the shadows if they’d seen a boy they were dating kissing someone else, or at least into the nearest store. You know, because they were confused … baffled … sure there had to be some kind of mistake. But not Savanna. She didn’t respond well to being slighted. She marched right across the street without worrying that she was going to make a fool of herself or cause a lot of trouble.
“I nearly got hit by a car. You should’ve heard what he called me.” She made a warrior-queen kind of face. “But I didn’t care. I was just sooo mad. I mean, like, really. Who does Morgan Scheck think he is?”
I said that he definitely had a higher opinion of himself than was probably justified.
“At least I was there when his other ex-girlfriend threw his cell phone under a moving car. But I still cried all the way back on the bus. I’ve never felt so awful in my whole life. Like I was totally alone.” Savanna put her hand on mine. “And then I thought of you.” She pressed against me. “I had to talk to you. I mean, if I couldn’t talk to you, I don’t know what I would’ve done. All I kept thinking was that once I’d talked to you, it would seem a whole lot funnier than it did right then.”
It was pretty funny. You know, except for the part about finding out that Morgan had another girlfriend and getting her heart stomped on and stuff like that. There was a lot of screaming, mainly at Morgan. The other girl wanted to know who Savanna was, and Savanna wanted to know who she was, and both of them were so mad at Morgan that if he’d been an egg, he would have been scrambled. And, all the time that they were shouting, Morgan kept saying that they didn’t understand and that it wasn’t what they thought. Savanna said that at one point it looked like he was going to make a run for it, but she and the other girl both grabbed an arm and wouldn’t let him go.
“I’m really glad you did call me.” I leaned my head to hers. “You know … I just wish I’d been there.”
She squeezed my arm. “Me, too. On both counts.”
I looked over at her. “So this time it really is all right, right, Savanna? You know, before, you said—”
“I know… I know…” Her free hand flapped like a bird. “I was like a total witch to you, Gray. I can admit that. But I was so crazed over Morgan. I mean, I can’t tell you the stress and emotional upheaval he put me through. I feel like I’ve been through the long cycle in the washing machine.”
That would be the washing machine of love.
“And I felt like you were against me. That was, like, the last straw in the box for me.”
“But I—”
“I know… I know… It was all my fault.” She squeezed me again. “Let’s make a solemn promise that we’ll never fight like that again, Gray, OK? Because I really couldn’t stand it. I missed you so much. These last couple of weeks’ve been the most awesomely awful thing I’ve ever been through.”
“It’s a deal,” I said. “I missed you, too.” All the time.
“Because everything’s really going to be different from now on. Swear on a bear. I mean, I know I made some mistakes, but not any more.”
“Right,” I said. “We’ll start all over.”
She sighed. Happily. “And now we can go to the dance like we planned, and have this awesome time, and I can forget all about Moron Scheck and what a total jerk I’ve been.”
“I can’t go to the dance.” I said this gently. But firmly. “I told Cooper I’d go to the party at Neighbours.”
“Really?” She sat up a little straighter. “When did you do that?”
“Last weekend. You remember, when you weren’t exactly speaking to me?”
Savanna rolled her eyes. “Yeah, but that was when I was mad at you, Gray. You can’t punish me for that.”
“I’m not punishing you. But Cooper said that since I wasn’t going to the dance after all, maybe I’d go to the Neighbours’ Christmas party instead – you know, to give him some moral support – and I said I would.”
“Well that’s OK.” She picked up her cup from the bedside table. “Just tell him you changed your mind.”
“I can’t do that, Savanna. I told Cooper I’d go.” We’d spent the week talking about the party, the way you do. We wondered if Mr Jerez really would bring his accordion. We joked about Mr Lundquist’s threat to put mistletoe in every doorway. We went shopping together for the token present everybody had to get for the little kids. Cooper gave me his to wrap because he always got tangled in the tape. He wanted to know if I thought my dad, being a folk singer, might have a string tie he could borrow to go with his sharkskin suit.
“Oh, Gracie…” Savanna nudged me. Affectionately. “That is, like, sooo you. You never want to let anyone down.”
Considering how much trouble letting down Savanna had caused me, I didn’t really think that was being unreasonable.
“This is Zebediah Cooper we’re talking about here, remember?” She gazed at me from beneath her lashes. Appraisingly. “Even if he suddenly realized that besides all the poor, oppressed workers and starving children there are actually girls on the planet, you’re not interested in him like that. I mean, that’s what you said, right?”
“Yeah, I did say that… But he is my friend.”
“Exactly,” said Savanna. “That’s why he’ll understand.”
I had this sudden image of Cooper, wearing a shark costume, dumping coffee all over himself.
“Yeah, I’m sure he will, but I still think I should go.” I shrugged. “You know, since I already said that I would.”
“Whatever you want,” said Savanna. “You’re the boss. I’ve learned the errand of my ways.”
“Error.”
“Whatever.” She gave me a hug.
Chapter Twenty-two
In the Lane, Tears are Glist’ning…
The last thing Cooper said to me on Friday afternoon was, “See you mañana, Gracie.” He rubbed his hands together. “Three-bean salad and mariachi music. I can’t wait.” He waggled his eyebrows. “And, with a little luck, the next time you see me I’ll be wearing a string tie.” He was going over to Archie’s with Archie and Savanna to see if Mr Snell had one he could lend him. Mr Snell had gone through a square-dance phase.
&
nbsp; And then on Saturday morning he called up to say that he wasn’t going to the Neighbours’ party after all.
“What? What happened? Are you sick?”
“Not so you’d notice,” said Cooper. “No headache or fever or nausea.” He cleared his throat. “I’m simply not in the mood any more.”
“But you were looking forward to it.” And so was I.
“Well, now I’m not. Now I’d rather stick needles in my eyes.”
I said that at least he was honest.
“Someone has to be,” said Cooper. He hung up.
Over the last few weeks, I thought I’d pretty much hit the bottom of the disappointment pit, but now I realized that I hadn’t. I hadn’t even got close. I’d been dangling midway, where there was still some warmth and light. Now I was flat on the cold, dark ground. I guess I’d been looking forward to the party even more than I’d thought.
I stood there for a few minutes, breathing hard as if I’d been punched in the stomach, trying not to cry. And then I called Savanna.
“Poor Gracie… What a creep, dumping you like that,” Savanna sympathized. “Especially when you were only going as a favour to him. I mean, some people! He doesn’t deserve you as a friend.”
“We don’t know why he changed his mind,” I reasoned. “I know Cooper. He wouldn’t cancel like that for no reason. Something must be really wrong.”
“Oh, please… Don’t start worrying about him. He isn’t exactly losing sleep over you,” said Savanna. “Anyway, look on the bright side. Now you can go to the dance without feeling guilty.”
Well, that was true. Now I could go to the dance feeling like something on the bottom of my hiking boots instead.
“You have to come, Gracie,” Savanna insisted. “I won’t have any fun thinking of you at home by yourself feeling rejected by someone like that.”
I didn’t want to go to the dance. I’d never wanted to go to the dance, but now I really didn’t want to. I’d rather stick needles in my eyes.
“And what? Stay home, feeling sorry for yourself? We’ll pick you up at seven,” said Savanna. “I can’t wait to see you in that dress.”
The gym was strung with hundreds of clear lights and silver snowflakes. There were tables topped with white paper cloths and snowmen candles all along the walls. Somewhere out on the crowded floor, Savanna – looking like a snow queen in a floaty white dress with silver glitter in her hair – was dancing with Archie. Marilouise and I sat at our table – alone – smiling pretty grimly. Which was what we’d been doing since we arrived. Pete and Leroy had deserted us to stand against one wall with the other dateless boys.
“I knew that I’d wind up sitting on the sidelines. I knew Savanna wasn’t going to hang out with me.” Marilouise sighed. “You’d think I would’ve wised up by now. I don’t know why I let her talk me into coming…”
I said that Savanna could be pretty persuasive.
“Not persuasive enough.” Marilouise lifted her arms in the air. “I mean, look at this dumb dress.” She was wearing a red dress with bell sleeves and a bow. She would have looked better in green – because of her eyes. Even with the sleeves and the bow. “Savanna said that I shouldn’t get it. She says I dress like I’m trying to bring back the 1950s single-handed, and that it was the wrong colour and really frowzy, but would I listen?” She tugged at the bow. “No. And now I’m stuck here looking like Santa’s helper.”
“What about me?” I demanded. “Black – at a Christmas dance! I look like one of the Grinch’s henchmen.” The short one in the ballet shoes she bought for her grandfather’s funeral.
Marilouise laughed. “No, you don’t. Gracie, you look great in that dress. I mean, really. Like Trinity in The Matrix.”
“You think so?”
“Everybody thinks so. It looks like it was made for you.”
It didn’t feel like it was made for me. I felt about as natural in that dress as a chimp in a prom gown. I kept tugging at the hem under the table, hoping I could make it stretch. Even though I was never going to have a good time at the dance, I would at least have felt comfortable if I’d been wearing my own clothes.
“I suppose we can be grateful that we don’t have to sit on the sidelines alone.” I took a sip of my soda. “At least we have each other.”
“Amen,” said Marilouise. “I don’t know why you decided not to go to the Neighbours’ party with Cooper, but I am so glad you did. I would’ve been like the last doll on the toy-store shelf if you weren’t here.”
“How did you know about the Neighbours’ party?” I hadn’t realized that was public knowledge. “Did Savanna tell you?”
“No.” She shook her head. “Cooper told me.”
“Cooper?”
“Yeah, last week. We walked home together one afternoon.” Marilouise stirred her soda with her straw. “You know Cooper, all he usually talks about is what’s wrong with the world, but that afternoon all he talked about was you. And he said you were going to the party together. Which I thought was great. You know, because you’re such a cool couple—”
Me? Cooper talked about me?
“Yeah, of course.” She made it sound like boys were always talking about me. In a positive way. “So when Savanna told me last night that you were coming to the dance, I was kind of surprised.”
I was still thinking about Cooper talking about me, and what a cool couple we were. What did he say about me? What made us look like a couple? It took a few seconds for the Savanna told me last night part to make its way to my brain.
“Last night?” How could Savanna have known that when I hadn’t known myself? “She told you I was coming to the dance last night?”
“Uh huh.” Marilouise blushed. “Oh, I’m sorry, Gracie. I guess I shouldn’t have mentioned it. It’s none of my business. If you didn’t want to go to the party with Cooper, then you didn’t want to go.” If she blushed any more, she’d look as if she was wearing her dress over her face. “Forget I said anything.”
“Marilouise?” I felt calm. Cold, but calm. “Marilouise, what makes you think I was the one who bailed?”
“Well, I—” Her whole face seemed to be blinking. “Well, I guess, you know, I just thought that because he seemed pretty excited about the party… And you know, Archie’s made a couple of jokes about Cooper having a thing about you… And Savanna kind of mentioned that you were only going to the party with him to be nice, but you know… I didn’t believe her. I thought she just … well, you know Savanna… And you don’t like parties so I guess I thought that if you said you’d go… Well, you know… You and Cooper seemed so good together. Remember at my birthday? And when I saw you together in Java last Saturday, I said to Savanna that I figured you two were going to be a serious item.”
“You did?”
But I didn’t hear what she answered. There were too many other words in my head. You don’t think Cooper’s interested in you, do you…? Archie says he, like, definitely hasn’t said anything about you to him … not as a girl… I’m simply not in the mood any more… I’d rather stick needles in my eyes… He seemed pretty excited… Savanna told me last night that you were coming to the dance… I said to Savanna that I figured you two were going to be a serious item… I know Savanna has her own way of doing things… Savanna told me last night… Savanna told me last night… Savanna told me last night…
“Gracie?” Marilouise leaned over and put a hand on my arm. “Gracie, are you OK?”
“I don’t know.” I didn’t. I was trying to make sense of everything but I was kind of stuck on the part where Savanna knew that I wasn’t going to the Neighbours’ party before I did.
Marilouise’s face looked like a rainy day. “Oh, Gracie, I hope I didn’t—”
“You didn’t do anything. But I think I have to get out of here.” I got to my feet and picked up my coat. “Now. Tell Savanna I’ll call her tomorrow.”
“Ummm…” Marilouise was staring past me. “I think you’re going to be able to tell her yourself.”
I turned around.
Savanna was charging towards us like a rhino. Her face was flushed, but you could tell from the set of her mouth and the way her eyes were narrowed that this wasn’t because she’d been dancing. This was a pretty unhappy rhino.
“I have had it with Archie Snell. I have, like, totally had it!” Savanna was fuming. “I don’t care if he crawls over glass with an orchid clasped in his teeth to apologize. There’s not going to be any making up after this fight. We are absolutely finito.” She threw herself into the chair I’d just vacated. “Some season for goodwill to all men this is.” Her eyes were suddenly glassy with tears. “There’s no goodwill towards me, that’s for sure.” Her lower lip trembled.
Marilouise and I exchanged a look, but it was Marilouise who said, “What happened?”
“What happened?” The tears starting spilling down Savanna’s cheeks. “I’ll tell you what happened. Archie got all warped out of shape because he went off to take a leak and when he came back I was dancing with someone else, that’s what happened. You should’ve heard him. He said that if flirting was lethal, I’d be a serial killer! Can you believe that? I was dancing for pity’s sake! That’s what you do at a dance. You dance!”
Marilouise said, “Gee—”
“I’ve got to go to the girls’ room.” Savanna slipped her bag off the back of my chair where she’d left it for safekeeping. You know, because not everyone goes to a dance to dance. “I must look hideous.” She took a tissue from her bag and dabbed at her eyes. “Come on, Gracie.” She pushed back her chair. “Marilouise will hold the fort.”
I hugged my coat against me. “I can’t,” I said. “I was just about to leave.”
“Leave?” For the first time since she’d landed, Savanna looked at me. “You can’t go now, Gracie. I need you.”
No, Why are you leaving? No, What’s wrong, Gracie? No, But where are you going? Just, You can’t go now… I need you.
All of a sudden, I was angry. Really angry. I was practically vibrating with rage.