by R. T. Lowe
“Fine,” Felix said. “I won’t rip his head off. But I’d like to take your bat to his ugly face.”
“That’s more like it.” Bill smiled approvingly. “As long as his organs remain intact and you don’t kill him you can borrow it. Just bring it back when you’re done. I use it once in a while on cheeky teenagers.” He looked down at his teacup. “I forgot to ask. Would you like some tea?”
“No thanks.”
“So now that you’re talking, what would you like to talk about? I’m sure you have a few things on your mind.”
Felix forced a smile, thinking that was a candidate for understatement of the year. He tried to gather his thoughts. He fixed his eyes on a pocket of sunlight falling across a bookshelf to Bill’s back as he argued with himself on where to begin. “So… um… last night… I uh… I melted my friend’s room.”
“You what?”
“Yeah. While I slept. I guess I kinda flew around and burned everything up.”
“Flew?”
“More like levitated. I guess I was way up above the bed. Kinda floating there.”
Bill sipped his tea calmly. “And there was a fire?”
“Sort of. I guess it was like a fire. But different. It’s hard to explain. When Allison woke me up, it was already out.”
“This was in Downey?” Bill’s face was a mask. From his reaction, Felix thought, levitating and fire starting must be everyday occurrences. This guy was unpredictable. He’d gone ballistic over a harmless off-the-cuff remark about killing Jimmy. Meanwhile, flying and spontaneous combustion only warranted a thoughtful frown and increased tea consumption.
“Yeah,” Felix answered.
“Allison Jasner?”
“Uh-huh.”
“I didn’t hear anything about a dorm going up in smoke. I assume she’s okay?”
“She’s fine.” Felix ran his hand up and down the back of his head. It took him a moment to realize that something was different: the bump was gone. He rechecked. Couldn’t find it. His fingers went to his forehead. No bump there either (and no pain). They were there this morning. Weren’t they? Could they have healed? That fast? No. He didn’t think so, anyway. So what did that mean? Did he imagine them? Were they even there in the first place?
“Where was her roommate?” Bill asked. “That’s Caitlin, isn’t it? Caitlin DuPont?”
It took Felix a moment to process the question because he was still trying to make sense of his unscathed skull. Then there was an abrupt shifting of gears as he tried to make sense of Bill’s unsettling level of knowledge. “Yeah,” he said finally. “Out with her parents doing something.” He didn’t know Bill. Before today, he’d met him exactly twice. He knew nothing about him. But Bill—Complete Stranger Bill—seemed to know everything about him. He felt like his life had been hacked.
“Okay.” Bill stroked his chin. “So Allison’s the only one who witnessed what happened?”
“Yeah.” Felix felt his shoulders tense up. Bill’s questions were making him anxious. It was like taking a pop quiz he hadn’t prepared for; being unconscious for the whole event put him at a slight disadvantage if Bill was hoping for a detailed account. And now that he couldn’t find the lump on the back of his head, he wasn’t so sure it had even really happened. He wondered if Allison had somehow imagined it. Or maybe she’d dreamed it. It was starting to feel a lot like no-man’s-land all over again. All this I’m-not-sure-what’s-real-and-what’s-not bullshit was going to send him over the edge.
“And what did you tell her?” Bill stared at him, his eyes narrowing.
Felix waited for a second before answering. “Everything.” He knew Bill wouldn’t like that.
“Why?” Bill shouted. “You just jeopardized your life and put your friend in danger. This isn’t a children’s story! Just because we’re the good guys doesn’t mean we’re going to win! In the real world, the bad guys win all the time. You need to think through—”
“What was I supposed to do?” Felix interrupted, his own temper rising. “She saw me. How would you explain that?”
“Fair point.” Bill was already calm again. “You’re right. Do you trust her?”
Felix nodded. “You must’ve told someone about the journal before.”
“Never,” Bill replied without hesitation, shaking his head. “It’s not the kind of thing you can share unless you want to die unexpectedly. You look tired.”
“I could use some sleep. And some food. Nothing’s staying down lately.”
“Tell me about it.” Bill lowered his gaze to the floor next to Felix’s chair. “Do you want me to order you something? A pizza? On me.”
“I’m good.” Felix picked at a callus on his palm, wondering if he should ask the question that had been gnawing at him. “So I was thinking about… what was she… like? My mom. You knew her, right?”
“I thought you might ask about her.” Bill studied his teacup for a moment, his expression softening. “She was… well, she made quite an impression on me. I’ll never forget her. She was beautiful. She was sad. And she was sick. Very sick. I didn’t get to know her very well, but I can tell you one thing for certain: She loved you very much. When we met, she had no business being alive. Yet she willed herself to live. She held on until she knew that one day you’d find out who you are. She made me promise that I would tell you. And then she… passed on.” He paused, and a shadow seemed to cross over his face as he looked toward the window. After a while, his attention returned to Felix but there was a troubled vagueness in his eyes. “And in case you’re wondering, I see a lot of her in you.”
Felix looked down at his lap. He felt something. But what? Sadness? Anger? Loss? He didn’t know. He couldn’t even think of her as his mom. It was just too weird. He already had a mom—and she was dead. And this new mom, she was dead too. Two moms. Both dead. Looking for a distraction, his eyes settled on a small army of kids out on the lawn fighting over a bright orange Frisbee in the warm afternoon sunshine.
“Fate was pretty shitty to her.” Bill’s voice was bitter. “She deserved better.”
Felix didn’t want to dwell on her. “Hey—so I was thinking: If I’m the only one who can defeat this Drestian guy, you gotta figure we’re not gonna be friends. He’ll wanna kill me, right? And I love how the journal describes him: ‘Nations will burn, armies will fall at his feet, and all who refuse to succumb to his rule will be slaughtered like sheep’. That’s pretty dramatic shit.” He laughed to himself, thinking the exhaustion must be making him high. Why else would he be joking about something that amounted to a death sentence?
“How did you do that?” Bill placed his elbows on the table, arching an eyebrow. “That was verbatim.”
“I could tell you the whole journal if I wanted. Every word.”
“Interesting.” Bill steepled his fingers. “And to answer your question… yes. Sorry. That’s a helluva way to start your college career, isn’t it?” He gave Felix a curious look and added: “But you seem to be handling it remarkably well.”
Felix shrugged as if to say what do you want me to do? He was so wiped out from the events of the past day that he felt flat, almost incapable of emotion. Maybe he should be running around screaming like a lunatic. Maybe that’s what most people would do. But he was just too tired to react like most people. And besides the fatigue, there was another factor at work: skepticism. His doubt was acting as a powerful sedative, dulling the sharp edges of his confusion and fear.
“Well, the good news is he doesn’t know you exist,” Bill told him. “Lofton never knew about your mom, the Cycle, or the journal. But just to be safe, I erased your mom’s life. There are no records for her. It’s like she never was. I also erased your birth and adoption records. Your parents couldn’t have proved you were adopted even if they’d wanted to.”
“How’d you do all that?”
“A lot of well-spent money and knowing the right people. I covered all the bases. Lofton doesn’t know you’re his cousin. He doesn’t know you’r
e the Belus. You’re safe. I’ve made sure of that.”
“Then why’s he in Portland? I thought he was British. What the hell’s he doing here? That can’t be a coincidence, right?”
Bill glanced at the window. “It is a coincidence.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
“But—”
“If Lofton knew you were here, you’d be dead,” Bill told him in a firm voice. “Can we agree on that? You’re obviously still alive. So he must not know you’re here. Therefore, Lofton’s presence in our fair city of roses is purely a coincidence.”
“Oh.” Bill’s logic seemed flawless. Then again, Felix’s brain was slogging along like his first car, a ’99 Pontiac Bonneville that only made it a month before the engine seized up and died on him.
“But you don’t need to worry about Lofton just yet,” Bill said amiably. “You’re not ready for that. And you won’t be for a while. You look a little pale. You sure you don’t want me to order you something? Chinese food? How about some juice? Your blood sugar’s probably low.”
“Nah. I’m gonna grab a burger.” Felix pushed his chair out from the table and started to stand. He had more questions—a lot more—but a crushing wave of fatigue had risen up and crashed down on him.
“Okay.” Bill dropped his eyes to the table, then brushed aside some imaginary dust. “I’ll let you go. But before bed tonight, can you do me a favor? Try to relax, okay? If you melt another dorm room, people will start talking. Stick around for a minute and I’ll show you a few things I find helpful when I feel like I’m about to lose it. It works.” A flicker of a smile passed over his face. “Sometimes.”
Chapter 33
Secrets
It was just after eight o’clock. Downey’s fourth floor was calm. Felix nodded at a guy whose name might be Aaron or Adam—or maybe it was Steve?—and stopped in front of his room. After gorging himself at the McDonald’s on 1st Street—three double cheeseburgers, two large orders of fries and a large chocolate shake—he’d crashed on the couch in Woodrow’s Room. The leather was soft and the windowless room was as quiet and dark as a cave. If some Native American ghosts had an issue with him being there, he figured it was worth the risk.
By now, he figured, Lucas and the girls had to be out partying and celebrating the end of midterms. He didn’t want to party. He didn’t want to hang out with anyone or do anything. He just wanted to hibernate in his bed for a few days and see what the world looked like when he woke up—it couldn’t make any less sense than it did now. Then a terrible thought occurred to him and he paused, his hand on the doorknob: What if Lucas was hooking up with Piper or some other random chick? But it was too early in the night for that—he hoped. He opened the door.
The room erupted in an explosion of sound and light.
Felix was still a little groggy from his five hour nap. He stood there trying to work out what was going on. Allison, Caitlin, Lucas and Harper were all sitting on the floor, shouting raucously and clapping their hands. His first thought: this isn’t my birthday. His second thought: what the hell did they do to my room? Colorful, shimmering streamers and ribbons, and garlands made up of glittered dots, slithered across the window and closets and hung from the ceiling like psychedelic hippie-inspired stalactites; green and orange helium balloons floated around in bunches, skirting along the ceiling, stalling at the corners; life-sized wall decals of NFLers—Tom Brady, Clay Matthews, J.J. Watt and Peyton Manning—plastered the walls (Brady and Manning were posed somewhat unconventionally, suggestive of acts you would never see on a football field); and in the back of the room, a wall-to-wall banner spelled out FOOTBALL HERO in huge silvery light-reflecting letters. Glittering streamers taped to the light fixture swayed in the wake of the balloon generated currents, casting the room in sparkly color-shifting light like a disco ball; one moment everything was blue, the next pink, the next orange.
“Felix!” Lucas shouted, springing to his feet, nearly tripping over a pair of cardboard boxes on the floor beside him. He crumpled up a grease splotched paper bag with a Taco Bell logo on it and tossed it in a waste basket by his closet. He came up to Felix with a big grin on his face, his arms held out wide.
Felix knew what was coming. “Really?” He smiled despite himself.
Lucas wrapped him up in a bear hug and pinned his arms to his sides, spinning him in a half-circle so that his back was to the girls. “Bring it in tight everyone!” Lucas ordered. “Group hug for our football hero!”
They converged on him. There were so many arms and bodies on Felix he felt like one of those unfortunate victims on When Animals Attack. The top of someone’s head—Caitlin’s?—was burrowing up his armpit. He started laughing. He couldn’t help it. “Okay! Okay! I got it. You’re mushing me. Get the hell off me, you freaks!”
Someone’s lips pressed against his ear. It tickled. “You okay?” Allison’s voice.
He nodded quickly and shouted: “We lost, you idiots! Get away from me!”
“That whole team thing’s vastly overrated.” Lucas let him go. “If those other Sturgeon dudes were half as good as you, you’d have won by fifty points.”
“What do you think of the decorations?” Harper asked.
Felix looked at her and literally forgot what she’d just asked him. She was smiling. She was also wearing clothes that hugged every inch of her magnificent body, which had the effect of immediately improving his mood (and lifting his grogginess).
“They’re great,” he said vaguely. Then he came to his senses. “No they’re not. This is crap for a kid’s party. Where’d you get this shit?”
Everyone laughed.
“Caitlin and I went to a party store right after the game,” Lucas explained. “And we may or may not have used your car without your permission. By the way, I think the Wrangler could die like any minute. It’s not sounding so good. Could be terminal. Anyway, have a seat. C’mon. We got your chair ready for you.” He pointed at five pillows arranged in a circle on the floor.
“What’s in the boxes?” Felix asked, bending over to read the shipping labels.
“I’ll get to that.” Lucas sank into a pillow butt-first. “Take your seats!”
Felix hacked his way through the silky streamers and garlands and sat cross-legged on a pillow.
“Did you hear what happened to our room?” Caitlin asked Felix, sitting down next to him Japanese-style.
His head held down, Felix looked up through his eyebrows and saw Allison twitch, an almost imperceptible shake of her head. He felt a twinge of guilt as he said, “Uh-uh.”
“There was a fire,” Caitlin said excitedly. “I wasn’t there. But oh my God.” She looked at Allison. “Thank God you’re okay.” She put her hand over her heart, on the verge of tears.
“It wasn’t really as scary as you might think.” Allison’s eyes moved to Felix. “I woke up smelling smoke, but the fire was already out.”
“So you’re okay?” Felix hoped he was showing the right amount of concern. His acting skills sucked.
Allison smiled and her eyes lit up like sparklers. “Never better.” Then her smile faded and her forehead crinkled up with worry lines. “But I could kill Dr. Borakslovic. I hate that bitch.”
“Who’s that?” Felix asked. “Isn’t she the skinny—”
“The dean,” Allison said sourly. “At freshman orientation, remember that ugly hag who looked like she was going to tongue kiss Grayson? Her.”
“Oh yeah,” Felix said. “What’d she do?”
“She wanted to move us to Satler,” Caitlin told him. “And she was insinuating that it was cigarettes. And since I wasn’t there…”
“I could kill her!” Allison shouted. “And that’s after the fire department came and said it was caused by faulty electrical wiring. And I don’t smoke! If I did, I’d take a cigarette and burn out her eyes.”
“But it all worked out.” Caitlin gave Allison an alarmed look. “The school’s paying for all the stuff that got damaged. A
nd we got a room here.”
“But it’s on the first floor,” Harper said, puckering her lower lip. “We’re not neighbors anymore. I’m so sad.”
What would it be like to kiss Harper? Felix wondered, staring at her mouth. That same thought had crossed his mind maybe fifty thousand times since he’d first met her.
Lucas clapped his hands together to get everyone’s attention. It worked. Heads swiveled. “Are you done yet? You guys have been talkin’ about the goddamn fire all day.”
“Nobody said you had to hang out with us,” Caitlin said hotly.
“You know you’d be lost without me, Little C. Ready?”
The girls nodded.
“For what?” Felix asked.
“I’m getting to that,” Lucas said. “Okay. As you all know, most of our low-brow classmates are out getting wasted drunk right now at the frats and dorms. And while they’re drinking nasty, watered-down, skunky beer out of unwashed recycled plastic cups, we’re going to get wasted drunk like a bunch of fancy high society types.”
Felix glanced at the boxes and wondered what was in them. Beer?
“Caitlin, if you will.” Lucas made a grand sweeping gesture at the smaller of the two boxes, like a game show host revealing the hidden prize. “Please open it, my lovely assistant.”
“I’m not your assistant,” Caitlin said primly. Then she smiled. “But I am lovely.” She pulled it toward her and started tugging futilely on a long piece of tape stuck to the top. She grunted. “I need scissors.”
Lucas whispered to her: “It’s already open. Just pass one to everybody.”
“Oh. Duh.” She spread apart the top flaps and reached in, coming out with a crystal wine glass in her hand.
“Ooooh!” Harper said admiringly, her eyes growing wide. “That’s so pretty.”
“It looks expensive,” Allison said.
Caitlin held it up close to her face, appraising it. “It is. This stuff’s really nice. Where’d you get this?”