by R. T. Lowe
“We now live in a world where our children die from disease and from obscene acts of violence—both of which are preventable—while a handful of billionaires dictate public policy without a shred of concern for the families who have lost so much and continue to lose so much, every day. These greedy self-serving individuals do not care about your welfare or the welfare of our children. They care only about themselves and the thickness of their wallets. The policies these individuals—these criminals—have forced upon our society are literally killing us, all of us.”
Dirk was pointing into the camera, moving his hand up and down like he was wielding a hammer. “The air we breathe is poisoned. The food we eat is poisoned. The water we drink is poisoned. And our streets, our homes, our shopping centers, our places of work and our schools are all poisoned by an abhorrent lawlessness that could be instantly eradicated with common sense measures that reflect a shared ideal of a better, safer world. A world without fear. Think about that, ladies and gentlemen: a world without fear.
“The world we live in today is not sustainable, my friends. Things must change. And they will. I promise you. The government cannot continue to represent only the interests of a few. The time has come to make the changes, the tough changes, that future generations will look back on and say, that’s when it all began. That’s when the world woke up and demanded a better way.”
Dirk smiled. “And just one more thing. I also want everyone to know that I’m ecstatic to be playing the role of Phillip in the first installment of Mesmerizer Jolie. I understand from my agent that we’ll be holding a separate press conference in the coming weeks. Thank you.” Once again, he raised his tattooed arm high above his head. But this time, he made a fist, and shouted: “A hundred generations!”
“A hundred generations!” echoed a chorus of voices in the common room.
The hair on Felix’s neck stood up. He jumped to his feet and looked around. Several arms were reaching toward the ceiling, hands balled into fists, bare forearms covered with blazing streaks of black, orange, white and red. The other students moved cautiously away from those saluting the ERA’s new chief spokesperson, forming little islands around them.
Felix did a quick head count before the ERA members lowered their arms and the voids filled with curious students. Felix couldn’t believe what he was seeing; there were seven in Downey alone. Then he noticed a familiar face. Make that eight.
Amber stood off to one side, alone. She saw him looking at her. She smiled. Then she cupped a breast and blew him a kiss.
Chapter 50
The Elf Tree
Knocking. Someone was knocking on his door. The infernal sound was grating, abruptly pulling Felix toward consciousness. He was dreaming. He knew it was a dream. It was one of those rare dreams that ignore the supposedly impenetrable barrier that separates the dream world from reality. He didn’t want to leave the dream. He was with his dad. It was Christmas day. They were in the woods, trudging through deep powdery snow, searching for the perfect tree.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Stay in the dream, he told himself. His dad laughed and pointed at a short, fat, bushy tree. He told his dad it was a nice tree if you were a midget. “It’s an elf tree,” his dad replied with an easy smile. “It’s Christmas, Felix. Be nice to the midgets.”
Felix giggled like he used to when he was a kid, when life was carefree and uncomplicated. When his dad was alive.
Knock. Knock.
His dad’s features were becoming fuzzy, distorted. Stay in the dream. His dad said something. His lips moved but Felix couldn’t hear the words. His dad was losing substance, blending into an ever brightening background. “Don’t go!” Felix shouted, frantic. “Dad! Don’t leave! Dad! Dad!” Then his dad was gone. And so was the dream. He recreated the scene in his memory, determined to hold on to the peaceful feeling of being with his dad on Christmas, but it too was fading, slipping away.
Knock-Knock. Knock-Knock-Knock.
He opened his eyes. He was no longer in the pristine winter woods with his dad. He was lying on his side, looking at a room that he and Lucas hadn’t cleaned in months. The slivers of wood floor still visible beneath the bedlam were speckled with balls of lint, tiny fragments of crushed leaves, and whatever else they’d tracked in, probably just plain old dirt.
“Felix?” a girl’s voice called out from the hallway.
“Yeah,” he muttered groggily, wishing he could go back to his dream, the first non-burning-to-death dream he’d had in weeks. “Just a sec.”
“Felix?” More knocking. “Felix? You in there?”
“Yeah. Hold on.” He got up and unkinked his neck. He’d fallen asleep in an awkward position with his clothes still on. The blinds were open. It was dark outside, but not in the room. The ceiling light and both desk lamps were burning bright. He couldn’t recall leaving them on. He kicked aside a pile of laundry and crossed the room, extremely annoyed that the interloper on the other side of the door had cut short his time with his dad. He opened it.
It was Harper. She was smiling.
He was no longer annoyed.
“You have major bed-head,” she said and quickly slipped past him, stepping through the chaos of clothes, backpacks, shoes and umbrellas, finally stopping when she found a clear spot near his desk. “So what are you doing?” She turned to face him. “Besides napping.”
Felix closed the door, smoothing down his hair. “I guess I fell asleep.”
“You’re so lucky to be done with finals.”
“Sure.” He didn’t feel lucky. His finals had been a disaster. He retraced her path through the clutter, hands in pockets, eyes on the floor.
“So what are you doing?” She brushed aside a wavy strand of hair that had fallen over her chin.
“I was slee—”
“No,” she said with a little laugh. Then she stared at him and a strange look fell over her face, a look he couldn’t decipher—a look he’d never seen before. His pulse quickened. He could feel it throbbing in his throat. “What are you doing right now?” she asked, moving into him and wrapping her arms around his waist. He breathed in her intoxicating scent. Emboldened—maybe he was still half asleep?—he reached around her and pulled her in closer, his hands wandering down her slender back. She tilted her head to the side and lifted her chin, inviting him to kiss her. He did. Her lips were soft. She opened her mouth and let him in.
Am I still dreaming? Felix thought with dawning wonder, hoping desperately that he wasn’t.
His hands went lower, heart pounding ferociously. He wondered if she could feel it through his shirt. She moved against him, moaning softly. He wanted her. He needed her.
“I’ve been wanting to do that all year,” she purred.
“Me too,” Felix said, his breath coming out in little shudders. “Why… why now?”
Harper laughed as if she found the question funny. “When I saw you downstairs for Dirk’s presser, you looked a little sad and I just wanted to make sure you’re still on the same page with me. You know, what we talked about before, at the Hut.” She raised an eyebrow at him and bit down flirtatiously on her bottom lip. “We are on the same page, right?”
“Same page. Same sentence.” They kissed. Felix’s hands went everywhere all at once. It didn’t seem possible, but her body was even more perfect than he’d imagined.
“Oh shit!” he suddenly burst out, pulling back. He looked down at his watch. He was late. He closed his eyes for a moment and said a silent curse to whoever was responsible for ruining the most amazing experience of his life. When he was done cursing, he started thinking. Now he had to come up with something credible to tell Harper because he definitely couldn’t tell her that he had a crucially important meeting scheduled with PC’s assistant groundskeeper. After three weeks of texting (“help! dream’s killing me!” was typical), Bill had finally and reluctantly agreed to “see what I can do to help.”
“I’m late,” Felix muttered weakly. “It’s five forty.” Even wea
ker.
“Late for what?” She pressed her hips against his. He hesitated and drew away for a second, then pressed back. Time to grow up. He knew she could feel him. He was glad. And then he hesitated again, thinking about the dream: the bed, the flames, the pain.
“I have… a… a meeting with… the guy who…” He could scarcely think. He was a terrible liar to begin with, and now the most distracting girl on the planet was in his arms, drowning his brain in hormones. Maybe he could postpone his meeting with Bill? Call him and do it another time? But Bill’s schedule was unpredictable; he didn’t exactly maintain regular office hours. Felix hadn’t even seen him since his last trip to Inverness, the trip that almost ended with the Old Campus losing a building. And for whatever reason, he believed that Bill was the only person who could exorcise him of the nightmares ruining his life—the only person who could salvage what remained of his sanity.
She kissed him in a way that made him think that Emma had no idea what she was doing. “Instead of doing this,” she said, her lips curling up in a seductive smile, “you’d rather meet with…?”
“Um… my… my parents’ lawyer. He’s in town. It’s got something to do with the insurance or something. I’m supposed to meet him downtown at five.” That was pretty good, he thought, all things considered.
“Oh.” Her eyebrows tugged in. “Well… that does sound important.” She moved back a little. “And we can do this”—she leaned into him, melting with him, just like the lyrics from the Modern English song he used to listen to in high school when he only dreamed about making out with a girl like this—“later.”
“Sorry.” Felix had never uttered an apology filled with more sincerity.
“It’s okay. I actually wanna hit the library for a few hours, anyway. My last final’s tomorrow morning. Tuesday at noon, I’ll be the happiest girl alive. When do you think you’ll be done?”
“I don’t know. Maybe around seven?”
“Perfect. I think everyone’s pulling an all-nighter in Woodrow’s. If you want, you can come by my room when you get back. My roommate’s out. We can pick this up.” She touched her lips to his, finishing with a feathery flick of her tongue. “And when we’re finished”—her flirty smile let him know exactly what she meant—“we can get some dinner somewhere.”
He nodded. There was nothing he needed to say. This was perfect. If a dream had ever come true, it was this.
“And then after dinner,” she went on, smiling her gorgeous smile, “we can go back to my room, and do it again. And maybe even again—if you’re up to it.”
He had to have her. He had to have her now. Bill would understand if he didn’t show up for their meeting. It was just a dream, after all. It wasn’t that bad. It wouldn’t kill him. He kissed her and let his hands roam. Her lips moved to his ear.
“Felix,” she whispered. “You better go.”
“I know.” He didn’t stop. He couldn’t stop.
“Felix…”
“Okay.” He dragged himself away from her even though it was the last thing in the world he wanted to do. He looked into her beautiful blue eyes and she smiled.
“We’ve got all night,” Harper told him. “All week. My flight’s not until Saturday, remember?”
“Okay. I’ve got this under control.” He laughed because he most certainly did not have it under control.
“Crazy about Dirk, don’t you think?” Harper said abruptly. “I never thought he cared enough to do something like join the ERA, let alone become the grand dragon or whatever he’s calling himself.”
“Huh?” Felix wasn’t sure what she was talking about.
Harper laughed at the confused expression on his face. “I’m just trying to make you think about something besides what I’m going to let you do to me tonight. You better get going. My room. Seven o’clock.”
She kissed him lightly on the lips. “I miss you already.”
Chapter 51
The Room
“You’re late,” Bill said gruffly from his chair under the window. He paused, observing Felix with a steady, scrutinizing gaze. “What are you so pleased about?”
Felix could only shrug. It was entirely possible that a perma-grin was affixed to his face, but he couldn’t help it. He slipped out of his puffy winter jacket and tossed it, along with his umbrella, in the corner, then sat down across from Bill. He’d managed to stay dry on his trek from the dorm, but a winter rainstorm hung in the air. The heavens were about to open up.
Felix sank back and looked out the window at the hundreds of soft glowing orbs dotting the buildings on the other side of The Yard. Beneath each orb, he pictured tables crowded with frazzled, heavily caffeinated students hunkering down for the rest of the night, noses deep into books, eyes glued to computer screens. The wonderful scent of Harper on his shirt cast his attention in a different direction, the way her body felt next to his, the little sounds she made when he touched her. He smiled at the memory.
“Would you like some tea?” Bill asked, his eyes narrowing. “I have a nice peppermint you might like. It’s excellent this time of year.”
“I’m good.”
A clock tolled on the south side of campus, six pounding chimes that swept between the stone buildings and over the lawns and gardens and through the trees, reverberating across the face of the Stamford Building and right up into the office where they sat at the table. Little Ben was conspiring against Felix.
“I think I counted six,” Bill said dryly. “If you were on time, I believe there would have been five.”
“I know. I’m late. What can I say? Sorry. I was… busy.”
Bill ran a hand over his face and leaned back in his chair, as though he was attempting to divine the reason for Felix’s good mood from some subtle expression or involuntary gesture. “A girl?” he hazarded.
Felix tried to keep a poker face, but he was just too damn happy: one corner of his mouth lifted in a smile.
“Allison?” Bill asked.
Felix shook his head, surprised that he thought it would be her.
“Harper?”
Felix shrugged.
“Good for you. She looks a lot like this girl I knew in college, a USC cheerleader who—”
“Alright, alright. I got it. Sorry, it’s just a little weird talking about girls with…” Felix trailed off awkwardly.
Bill laughed lightly. “I forgot. Anyone over thirty couldn’t possibly know anything about girls.”
“Let’s get going!” Felix checked his watch impatiently. “I’ve got things to do. Hurry up and fix me. C’mon.”
“You’re the one who’s late,” Bill pointed out. “All right then, I don’t want you to miss out on your things. So here’s what we’re going to do. I’ll induce a state of deep relaxation. It’s a little like hypnosis, but you won’t be susceptible to suggestion or anything like that. You’ll always be in control. Once you’re relaxed, I’ll ask you questions about your dream. You told me you’re in a room, right?”
Felix nodded.
“But you can’t see very clearly because the room is hazy?”
He nodded again.
“I’m hoping that once you’re relaxed, the details of the dream will become clearer.”
“Then what?” Felix asked, confused. “What’s the point of that?”
“I think what’s happening is your mind is making a big deal out of nothing. In this dream of yours, you’re in a room and you can’t see what’s around you. Your conscious mind isn’t coping very well with the unknown. It wants to know what’s lurking in the shadows. And the only way to get a peek is to dream.”
“So my mind’s hitting the rewind button and bringing the dream back?” Felix said, finally understanding where Bill was going. “Is that what you mean?”
“Exactly. Once your conscious mind knows what’s hiding in this dream room of yours, there’ll be no need to have another look. The dream should just go away like any other dream.”
“So you’re gonna break the rewind
button?” Felix asked.
“Smash it if we can,” Bill said, smiling. “I’m almost certain you’re dreaming about Allison’s room. I think there’s still some small part of your mind that’s trying to comprehend exactly what you did that night.”
“So how’s this deep relaxation thing work?”
“You’ll be sort of half-sleeping,” Bill explained, folding his hands and resting them on his lap. “You ever have a dream where you know you’re dreaming?”
“An elf tree,” Felix replied with a grin.
“A what?”
“Never mind.”
“Anyway,” Bill continued, giving him a look, “half-sleeping may feel a little strange to you. But don’t worry. When I clap my hands twice, you’ll come right out of it. Got it?”
“Twice. Sure. Okay.” Felix rubbed his hands on his jeans, wiping off the sweat that had gathered in the creases of his palms. He was nervous, but excited.
“Okay, then. Let’s do this.” Bill shuffled his chair over so that they were facing each other, their knees nearly touching. “Make yourself comfortable. Close your eyes.”
Felix leaned back and let his eyelids drop. The room was silent except for the patter of rain against the window. The silence lengthened.
“Relax and breathe slowly and deeply,” Bill said, breaking the stillness.
Felix took three long breaths and let the air out as slowly as he could manage.
“That’s it,” Bill said, his voice low, soothing. “Breathe deeply and relax. Let everything go. Try to empty your mind. Now open your eyes.”
He did.
A tarnished coin attached to a silver chain dangled in his face, spinning clockwise, and then when it had spent the force of its movement, it sprung back and spun in the opposite direction.