by T. L Smith
“I don’t want to be married to anyone else. If I’d have been given the choice it would be you,” he whispers into my hair.
I stay still. His fingers on my back doing circular motions.
“I’m not sure if I would choose you,” I tell him honestly.
He can’t expect me to say I would.
He didn’t fight for me.
He didn’t even save me.
He stops then starts his circular motions again.
“You will,” is all he replies. “Give it time.”
I breathe him in, knowing I won’t be here much longer. I don’t want to stay in this house a second longer than necessary, I don’t want the reminders either.
Love or hate?
How do you tell the difference?
I sure as shit can’t.
I love him.
I hate him.
Which will win?
Chapter 21
Viktor
Patrick is pacing the floor as we stand at his door. He looks to us then back to the ground, then back to us, like he can’t make up his mind. Maybe he can’t.
“You killed him in a restaurant?” He shakes his head pausing then starts pacing again. Kazier suggested we go and give him the good news today, and also see why he set his sister up, especially if he loves her the way he says he does. I haven’t told her yet, too afraid to do so. She could hate me for delivering that kind of news and I don’t want her hate, I want her to want me. She isn’t fully there yet and still sees me as evil after what happened. But she is willing to give me her body which I fully respect.
“At a restaurant,” he mutters again.
“We had a conversation with him, quite interesting as well.”
He stops muttering and turns to me and stares. “What did he say?”
He knows exactly what he said. He just doesn’t want us to know what he said. Kazier looks at me to answer and so does Patrick, in his ugly ass suit.
“Details… about Freya.”
His face goes red, he looks to the ground and when he looks back up he’s angry.
“You’ve told her?” he asks me.
“Do you think I’d be here with Kazier if I had?”
He shakes his head. “No, she would be here.”
So he does know his sister well.
“So it’s true then, you fucked her over?”
“I didn’t, I just gave her ammunition to do what she wanted. She was sick of feeling like a Russian bride, she should never have been. Her worth alone is in the millions, she doesn’t need to be married. Yet, she listened to what he told her to do. Even the second time when she had to marry you. I knew the third time would break her. Then he did one better, he tried to traffic her which I didn’t even know about until she rang me.”
He’s telling the truth, he’s angry about what happened to her.
“What about Boyra? She said he believes he can marry her.”
He shakes his head and mutters something under his breath. “I’ll handle him. He knows he can’t have her. She had a crush on him when we were little. Now, she loves you,” he says and calls out a name I don’t quite catch.
A man who’s dressed in all black walks in, I stare him down because I don’t like how close he is to her. Will he fuck her over too like everyone else she knows has done? Because that’s happened a lot, even from her husband. How is she still standing? How is she still somewhat normal?
“I see the way you look at him. You’re threatened,” Patrick says to me.
I take my eyes off the man and turn to Patrick.
“You should be thanking him. He is the one, after all, who saved her… rescued her,” he tells me then turns to Kazier. “Helped her kill your father.” Kazier’s fists clench at his sides. “He’s going to be staying while I go back home, just for a while till Freya feels safe again. No offense, but I don’t trust any of you. Sin here…” he taps the man on his shoulder, “… I trust with my life. Even her life.”
“She doesn’t need a bodyguard.”
“She requested him. Sin loves little sis, so he’s more than happy to oblige and stay with her. I guess you’ve a lot of sucking up to do because she just moved back into her old apartment,” Patrick says dismissing us and walking away.
The man they call Sin stands there watching Kazier. I turn to look at Kazier who’s ready to kill him. So I tap his shoulder and walk out the door, he follows but slams it on the way out.
“I said I wouldn’t punish her… not him,” he says climbing into the car.
“As far as I know, he observed while she did it.”
He bangs his hands on the steering wheel. “He could have stopped her,” he says pulling on his fists which are clenched tightly around the steering wheel.
“Take me home,” I tell him because I need to see if she’s still there. I can’t lose her again.
***
The house is empty when I get there, her things are gone and there’s no sight of her anywhere. I drive straight to her old house, the one she lived in before we were married and I find her car parked out front.
I bang quite hard on the door, the man named Sin answers it. He opens it further letting me pass but not saying a word, so I walk straight to the kitchen. I spot her at the fridge pulling out cupcakes. She sees me and freezes with her mouth full and one in her hand.
“How did you find out this fast?” she asks. She looks behind me and speaks to the man who’s watching us. “Patrick?” Sin nods his head and she swears, putting another cupcake in her mouth and taking a bite. “I’m not coming back.” She walks to the island and sits up there with the plate full of cakes, picking off the frosting and the wrapper before eating another.
“Why did you leave?”
She smiles and shakes her head. “Please tell me you’re joking? You seriously expect me to stay there knowing I could wake up any morning and you’ve changed your mind. Maybe tomorrow you might want to try and sell my organs because your boss was running low.” She laughs at herself and continues to eat.
“I told you I won’t hurt you again.”
She holds up her hand with another cupcake in it.
“You did, yet here I sit not believing you. One. Single. Bit!”
“Fine. Lucky I brought a bag then.”
She shakes her head at me again. “Nope, husband dearest, you are not staying here either. I have Grekh to keep me company,” she says nodding her head toward the man Patrick calls Sin.
“You want to fuck him, too?”
Her forehead scrunches up and she throws the cupcake she was devouring at my head. “Eat a dick and die, fucker. While you’re at it, leave my fucking house before I make Grekh remove you,” she screams.
Grekh walks in looking between us.
“You think I’d let him touch me? He would be dead before he could.”
She smirks. “You’d like to think so, wouldn’t you? I believe otherwise, though. Don’t push it, because being a widow sounds very appealing right now.” She points to the door and goes back to her cupcakes. I want to throw the fucking plate far away from her.
Why the fuck is she sitting there eating so much shit?
“Leave Viktor, if you need a booty call come back another day,” she says not even looking at me.
Walking out of the house, the door being shut behind me by a man who’s now sharing a house with my wife. What the actual fuck?
Anton calls, “We need organs.”
Maybe I should go back in and tell her I’ll take hers if she doesn’t behave, then shake my head and drive to where he is. When I stop the car Anton is leaning against his car playing with his phone as usual. This place is isolated, not a soul in sight. To get here you need to go down secluded dirt roads away from the city. The closest house to this one is miles away so it works out perfect for those that like to scream, because they can scream all they like, it doesn’t matter, not a soul to hear them.
“This shit is so addictive,” he mutters while playing Clash of Clans. He’
s always on it, it’s fucking annoying as fuck. I start walking not waiting for him because I need this, I need to let my anger out before I see her again, or I’ll tie her down and lock her the fuck away with her smart-ass mouth.
A man is on the table, he’s alive when we enter. He’s trying to wiggle free of the restraints that hold him down. Buckets of ice are around him ready to take his organs. When the dealers don’t pay up on time, we take something from them that will guarantee payment. He watches us as we walk in, Anton mutters at his phone as he closes the door with his foot. I step over and snap on a pair of gloves. The man starts talking, but we ignore him until we’re standing on either side of him.
“I’ll pay, I’ll pay, please… I’ll pay.”
“Did you know I had to stop in the middle of a very fucking good game for this? I was fucking winning,” Anton says to him holding up a scalpel in his gloved hands. Filling a syringe, I inject a numbing agent into his side while he continues to mutter. Anton doesn’t wait for it to work and he starts cutting and I instantly wonder why the fuck I bother. What’s the point of injecting him with the anesthetic if he doesn’t fucking wait for it to kick in.
“Kazier said you wouldn’t make it, what happened?” he asks, ignoring the screams from the man on the table.
“She moved out, and now lives with another man.”
His eyes go wide then he starts to laugh. “Seriously?”
I nod my head curtly. Once the incision is made, I push my fingers inside the cavity. It comes naturally to me now how easy it is to remove an organ. I’ve been doing it for so long I don’t even need my eyes to see, I do it all by feel. Caring little about if the person on the table survives, I go after what we need to harvest. Anton walks away and grabs a glove and shoves it into the man’s mouth—he’s screaming a little too loudly obviously. For some reason while I’m doing this work I can’t hear the screams, I’m able to zone out and just do what I need to.
“He’s her bodyguard. He’s there to protect her or some shit because she doesn’t trust me to do so,” I reply while shifting my fingers around to just the right position.
“I wouldn’t either. You trafficked her for fuck’s sake,” he mutters smacking the screaming man across the face hard enough to knock him the shit out.
“He’s passed out, thank fuck.” He looks back up to me. “You think you can convince her you aren’t going to harm her again? Do you think you actually won’t though?”
He knows how I like my sex. He knows I like it rough and that’s what he’s asking if I’m going to hurt her in any way.
“I don’t fucking know, I don’t even know what to do. I’ve never had to win someone before, I’ve only ever used them, fucked them and left them.”
“Your dick ain’t that magical, man. I mean come on, you ain’t me.” He smirks taking the severed kidney from me as I pull it away from the body.
Chapter 22
Freya
It’s quiet, and I like the quiet. I like that Grekh doesn’t talk, doesn’t feel the need to, and I like that most about him. My phone starts buzzing, I haven’t heard from Viktor for almost two days. Is it weird I kind of miss him? I shouldn’t, but I do. His message asks me to meet him out the front, I could ignore it and sit on my bed not moving.
Eventually I think better of it and get up and walk out there like he asked me to. He’s standing at my door, his phone in hand when he looks up at me, but he pockets it before he speaks, “Wait here,” he says while walking in and shutting my door. He comes back out just as I’m about to go in with a bag and he takes my hand pulling me to the car.
“I’m not going back there,” I tell him.
He doesn’t say anything as he drives. We both just sit there with me picking at my nails and thinking about how all I can hear is the car’s engine purring. We slow down and come to a stop. I see everyone standing outside of their own cars in a group.
“What’s going on?” I ask turning to him.
He gets out without answering me. A plane is behind the cars and I notice they all have luggage with them. Then Viktor steps out with our bags, I don’t even know how he got my stuff. Did I leave some clothes at his house and he decided to bring them? I know that the small blue travel bag is mine in his hand. Viktor starts walking toward the plane and stops when he reaches everyone then turns back to me, nods his head for me to catch up.
Elina smiles at me from in Kazier’s arms when I reach them.
Pollie grabs my hand as she says, “Hello.”
I feel her rub my ring finger, her smile drops when she realizes I’m not wearing my rings but she doesn’t say anything to bring attention to it. “Where are we going?” I ask her.
“I don’t know. A holiday I’m guessing,” is all she says.
Viktor pulls back after he speaks to Anton.
Death stands near them with the baby in his arms.
Viktor walks back to me and grabs my hand, then starts walking, pulling me with him.
Yanking my hand free, I stop. “I’m not going anywhere. You honestly think I’d get on a plane with you all?” I laugh at him.
He passes our bags to Anton, and Anton walks off with them leaving us standing there as everyone boards the plane.
“No one will harm you.”
“You say that to all your wives before you sell them?” I ask sarcastically.
“Fuck woman, get on the plane and stop your bullshit.”
“How about this… you get on the plane, go away with all your friends, and leave me the fuck alone.”
He shakes his head. “Not happening.”
“Is happening, because I’m not getting on that plane.”
“Fuck woman, I’m trying to do something nice here.”
I cross my hands over my chest. “I’m not going, Viktor. So do you need me to write it on a big billboard in flashing neon lights?”
He shakes his head and I can tell he’s becoming mad.
A horn honks behind us, so I turn walking away and wave my hand at him as I speak, “Have a nice trip.” Grekh sits in his sports car and I climb in. I look at him to see him watching me, then I wave as we drive off. Of course, Grekh doesn’t say a word, why would he. He takes me to see my brother because he’s leaving today.
When we pull up to the house, he’s at the front and ready to go. He opens my door after we stop, nods his head to Grekh, who walks off.
“You can take him with you, I know he prefers to be home,” I say referring to Grekh.
He smiles weakly. “Do you all of a sudden feel safe?” he asks me.
Do I? I don’t know.
“I’ll be fine, let him go home.”
He nods his head and pulls me in for a hug.
“I’m sorry, little sis.”
“For what?”
He pulls back and looks at me, then smiles. “For leaving you.”
“I’ll survive…” I always do.
***
A week passes with me doing absolutely nothing, I feel useless, absolutely useless. My job in life was to be a wife and to be honest, I suck at that. I sit on the internet most of the time, just staring and doing nothing. I haven’t seen anyone for a week unless you class the delivery guy, who now knows me by my first name. I even stay that exact same way, in two-day old pajamas with Chinese at my coffee table watching television when Angelina walks in. She scrunches up her nose when she sees me and picks up my feet throwing them to the ground.
“Well, you’re living life full force, aren’t you?” She laughs. Angelina is a nurse, she works crazy hours and I don’t get to see her as much as we would like.
“I have no life, nothing. What’s the point?”
“You have a husband. Where is he?” I shrug my shoulders. “What about a job? Why don’t you get one of them?”
I sit up, never thinking finding a job was even an option. “I need a job,” I say brushing off the food from me. Gosh, I’m a pig.
“Fabulous, I can help. What do you have skills in?”
I raise my eyebrows at her. “I don’t think I should say that to just anyone.” I cringe, I was raised to love and respect my husband. I was taught how to fight, throw a knife, fire a gun. Probably not the best employee for anything she’s thinking of.
“Okay, how about this. My friend owns a small bar not far from here. How about we go out, have a few cocktails, and we can have a chat with him.” I stand and look down at myself. “Maybe shower first…” she trails off and then laughs scrunching up her nose. I nod my head knowing I should most definitely clean myself up.
After a thorough scrub in the shower, I dry off and get dressed. My hair is up high and I’m dressed in jeans and a silky blue shirt. Ang is waiting for me when I walk out dressed and ready, she nods her approval and stands skimming her hands down the front of her jeans. It feels weird being dressed, in something other than my house clothes. How did I let it go that far? It’s because I have no life, I know it’s that. I don’t want it to be that, though. Ang starts walking out the door and to her car, the fresh air hits my face and I take a moment to breathe it in. I won’t let myself get that bad again, I promise myself as she starts to drive.
We both have a cocktail in front of us and this place is so amazingly cute. The bar has old style suitcases stacked under it making it look like it’s holding up the bar. There are old newspaper clippings everywhere and it’s unlike anything I’ve seen. It’s quiet and hidden behind a hotel, but has access via an alley way from the main street.
“I don’t know if I can do that, Ang,” I tell her watching the man behind the bar make a cocktail. They’re fast and fancy about it. I’m sure I would drop it or would pour it all over myself and or some unsuspecting customer.
“You can learn. I’m sure you will pick it up quickly.” She laughs waving her hand over at a man who smiles when he sees her. I take him in as he smiles at everyone he passes and says, “Hello.” He has a beard, dressed in slacks but has on a more casual button up shirt. He looks good, the beard looks great on him.