by Selena Kitt
“Where’s dessert?” he asked. I simply pointed to the fridge. “Arr, my favorite,” he sighed, placing the dish in front of me.
Then abruptly, he stuck his hand up my skirt and found my sweet spot, I almost died. I had no idea it still worked down there, seeing as no one but me had gone anywhere near it for six years. I had no complaints; it felt good. I was alive and feeling his hand on my crotch was divine. I opened my legs to give him better access to my hungry hole. Hoping, beyond hope he’d move the offensive material, which blocked his entry to my desire. I was tempted to get up from the table and remove my panties, but I didn’t want to ruin the moment.
It had been such a long time.
Any attention he paid to my sex now was worth its weight in gold in my eyes. So I sat there and nibbled on the chocolate mousse I’d made for dessert. Sucked on the spoon as though I was sucking on a big juicy cock, as if I’d know how to suck a big cock or any cock for that matter. I caught my breath as he slipped his finger between the material and my hot dripping snatch.
Oh God, this is really happening!
I shifted my arse forward in an attempt to draw his hand in farther.
I had no idea my eyes closed until they flew open, hearing Jeff’s deep baritone voice say, “Should we take this to the bedroom?”
My heart leaped to my constricted throat. This was real; we were going to have sex. I pinched myself, just to make sure. I stared at Jeff like a deer caught in headlights with nowhere to run for safety.
He must have read something on my face. “Are you alright, love?” he asked. “You look a bit green. Should we just call it a night, are you not feeling up to it?”
No fucking way was he getting out of this. I grabbed his hand and pulled him up the stairs.
“I’m fine, darling. Maybe it’s the light, but I feel great. Just let me take a quick dip in the shower first,” I garbled out.
When we reached the landing, I left Jeff to use the hallway shower while I took mine in the ensuite. I threw off my clothes as soon as I entered our bedroom, just stopping long enough to grab a see-through negligée from the dresser. I was almost naked by the time I’d gotten to the bathroom door. Every second counted. I had no desire to come out of the bathroom and find him asleep.
I don’t believe I’ve ever washed so fast in my life. Out came the musk shower gel, on went the shower—I jumped in. I quickly scrubbed my body down, paying particular attention to my sweet spot. Pulled off the showerhead and hosed myself down, wishing I had at least two more pairs of hands. On went the musk moisturizer and body mist spray. I brushed my teeth and hair. I stood in front of the mirror for a hot second pushing up my breasts, trying to pump some life into them. I slipped into the negligée, walking back into the bedroom.
Jeff was sitting on the edge of the bed wide awake, thank God. The remote control in his hand flicked through the channels. I pulled up my hair to put it into a pony, when Jeff said, “No Stace, leave it down.”
My hand hesitated in midair. Then I placed the scrunchy back on the dresser. I looked around the room for my clothes, but Jeff had picked them up and put them in the clothes basket. He got off the bed and walked towards me with purposeful strides. I gazed at him with all the love I could draw to the surface of my emotions. Even at forty he was still a handsome, sexy man. His short-cropped chestnut hair with those distinctive gray streaks just above his ears, only added to his attraction. He was more than six feet tall by a couple of inches; his body was still broad and hard. The middle age spread my girlfriend’s husband had developed seemed to have missed him.
I waited in anticipation to see what he’d do. This was his play and I was a bit actor in it. I was dying to ask what had brought this on. However, I was too scared to say anything, fearful anything I might do or say would kill the moment. So I told myself to stay quiet and follow his lead. I could ask as many questions as I wanted in the morning.
He cupped my face in his hands and raised my chin to cover my lips with his own. The kiss started sweet, then deepened. Something seemed to change in him. His lips and tongue became searching, hungry, as though he was trying to devour my mouth with his own. He lifted me from the ground and carried me to the bed, our lips still locked in the throes of passion.
He laid me down gently and kissed my neck, trailing his tongue along the pulsating vein there. Wow, this was new. I began to pull at the vest he wore just as he raised my nightie. Our arms tangled and we started to laugh. Then he gazed into my eyes.
“I love you so much,” he said. Smiling, his eyes broke our connection, and moved to watch me slide my tongue across my lips.
Free of our offending garments, he nibbled behind my ear. “Would you mind if I tried something new?” he asked. Not wanting anything to spoil the moment, I simply nodded my head in agreement.
“Good.” He smiled up at me as he took my hard, aching nipple into his mouth. He ran his tongue across the tip. I sighed my appreciation of this sensual act. For years when he sucked on my breast, I felt I was nursing a greedy infant. This felt good; this felt right. I arched my back as my sensitive snatch starved of affection longed for attention. I opened my legs wider and begun to rub myself against him.
He moved south of my breast kissing and licking along my stomach as he headed still farther. Oh, my God. My breathing shallow, my heart raced. Was he? I asked myself. Was he really going to do what I thought he was? Sixteen years…sixteen long, sexually unsatisfying years I’d waited for this moment. My mouth went dry as I struggled to breathe. The anticipation was glorious, as well as frightening.
Heat rushed through my body like a raging forest fire. I couldn’t take any more. My expectation had me reeling and my mind screamed, hurry the fuck up, I’m dying here. I wanted to take his head in my hands and shove him down farther, faster. But I gripped the bed sheets instead.
I mustn’t interfere. I must let it take its course. He was finally trying to spice up our sex life. I must let it happen naturally.
The heat of his hot breath on my sex melted my soul. My body seemed to be sinking even farther into the bed. Yet it wasn’t really my body sinking, my mind soared. I was outside my body looking on, watching as he hesitated, taking little sample licks on my slit as though he expected it to jump out and grab him. I felt his confidence grow as he moved in closer and committed to longer, lingering licks.
The tip of his tongue hit my clit. The tingling sensation had me curling my toes and moving my hips up to greet his tongue. I had to shift my position every so often, so I could feel his tongue on my sweet spot. Still too afraid to speak, to direct him to the places I felt the most pleasure. You have to understand, for sixteen years our lovemaking had been vanilla at best.
He seemed to have gotten the hint and focused his attention back on my clit. His mouth covered it, and as he sucked and pulled at it his teeth grazed my sensitive node, my moans and cries of pleasure seemed to spur him on. I thrust my head from side to side, my spine tingled and breathing almost stopped, becoming shallow. My stomach was knotted and the pressure was building, my sweet spot aching for release. Was this it? Was I about to experience my first orgasm?
I ground my crotch into his face. My hands took on a life of their own, threaded through his hair, pressing him in even deeper. I was at the brink; I could sense it. Just as I was about to scream the words “I’m coming,” the sensation was gone.
He travelled with speed back up my body. “I can’t wait,” he said, close to my ear. He positioned his tool at my opening and pushed forward. He was inside me thrashing about, grunting and groaning. I turned my head to watch the television, as his sweat dripped down on me. I would have loved nothing more than to push him off. But I didn’t. I lay there and let him have his way with my body. I watched with jealousy as the woman on the television reached her orgasm while she got shafted in an elevator.
I wondered what the movie was. If I could’ve reached the remote, I would’ve tried to record it. I turned my head and looked at the back of my husband’s
head. His body tensed, he was going to blow. Yeah here it comes. He jerked and grunted as he reached his climax.
Well bully for him, the selfish bastard.
Chapter 2
I was still annoyed as I made that selfish, conceited bastard his breakfast of poached eggs, toast and baked beans. I was banging around in the kitchen when Jeff put in an appearance. He smiled and started to whistle, coming over to kiss me before taking his usual seat at the table.
“It’s a lovely morning, isn’t it?” he asked, as he munched on a piece of toast.
“Maybe for you,” I retorted.
“Is something wrong, love?” He was wearing a puzzled expression. I pondered for a moment: should I broach the issue or leave it? In two minds, I decided to leave it, until…
“Last night was amazing, wasn’t it?”
Something snapped inside me.
“Jeffery R. Richardson, there was absolutely nothing about last night that was amazing for me.” There, I’d said it. I felt liberated somehow, until I saw the hurt look on his face. “I’m sorry, Jeff, but I need to be honest. I’ve kept quiet for too many years.”
“I don’t understand. What did I do wrong?”
“It’s not what you did wrong that’s the problem Jeff. It’s what you did right, but didn’t follow through on. I was at the brink and you left me hanging then satisfied yourself,” I said.
“I’m sorry, love, I thought I got it right. I did everything I saw on the video.”
“The video?” I asked. My coffee cup paused in midair.
“Yes, the video. I went with Frank from the office to one of those sex shops with the video booths. I watched a video and thought about it all afternoon. I wanted to please you,” he said.
“But you haven’t been near me in that way for six years. Why now?” I asked.
He lowered his gaze, for a moment I thought he wasn’t going to answer.
“I got tired of seeing the look of disappointment on your face after we made love. You’ve never looked satisfied.”
“What do you mean?” My mind searched my memory banks.
“You never said anything, if that’s what you think I’m saying. I could just tell, you didn’t want me that way anymore.” He picked up his mug as if he needed something to hang on to. “I could just see as the years rolled by, the spark slowly disappeared from your eyes and you seemed uninterested in having sex.”
I felt terrible. I had no idea he felt that way.
“So all this time we weren’t having sex because you thought I didn’t enjoy having sex with you?”
“That, and when I was at the gym. They have communal showers. I could see that all the other men seemed bigger than me.” He played with the food on his plate, not looking at me. I suppose he was waiting for me to digest what he was saying. “I’ve spent the last six years masturbating and listening to the men at the gym say how much women wanted men with big penises who can perform like a porn star.” He looked up at me now, and I could see the tears in his eyes. I reached over and took his hand, but he pulled away from me.
“No, don’t pity me, I couldn’t bear that.”
“I don’t pity you, Jeff, I love you. Maybe we should have had this talk years ago,” I said.
“I was so frustrated lying next to you at night and not being able to touch you, to love you. But I’d rather have you here with me without sex, than to lose you Stace.” He brought his hand back to cup mine. “I had no one to ask, at least no one I felt comfortable with for that kind of advice. So I just listen to the men talking and became more and more confused. Then yesterday Frank suggested we go to the sex shop. I thought… I thought if I watched the video I could try something different and please you.” He squeezed my hand.
“Look Jeff, I love you. The problem with our lovemaking is not your size. It’s the lack of consideration for my needs. I’ve never had an orgasm, Jeff. I’ve floated on the edge, but I’ve never had one. That’s what happened last night. I came so close and then you just stopped.”
“I’m sorry, love.” He looked at his watch. “Tell you what, we’ll pick up where we left off when I get home, how’s that?” He kissed me feather light on the lips, moving towards the door.
“Should I see if I can find a solution on the internet? While you’re at work?” I asked
“Yeah, sure, do whatever you think best,” he threw back as he left the house.
I sat at the kitchen table alone and frustrated, wishing I’d taken the advice of my friends when they said I should try before I buy. They were in utter shock when I told them that although Jeff and I had been together two years before we got married, we hadn’t done the wild thing.
“How will you know if you’re compatible?” Liz had asked
“Forget compatible, how do you know if he’s any good at it?” Jackie piped in.
“You’re still a virgin, aren’t you?” Liz asked, accusingly as if there was something wrong in waiting until you married to have sex.
“I don’t believe in sex before marriage. It’s not a crime to want to wait for the right man, you know. You make it sound as if waiting is immoral,” I said, flushed. I felt as if I was abnormal or something.
“So what about Jeff, how many notches does he have on his belt?” Jackie asked, digging me in my side with her elbow. Before I could answer, Liz chimed in.
“Doesn’t Jeff pressure you for sex when you’re out together? He must be on you all the time. You’ve been together for near on two years. Has he even had a ‘whiff of it?’” Liz laughed at her own stupid joke.
“No, Jeff respects me. Not like the riff raff you go out with, Liz, with their, wham bam thank you ma’am. I’d be surprised when your time comes to get married if you can find a man you haven’t already sampled,” I said, meaning to cause offence.
However, Liz just laughed and said I was probably right.
“Well I think it’s weird Jeff hasn’t tried it on,” Jackie said. The look I gave made her blush, but she continued anyway, “What? I’m just saying that’s all.”
Looking back, I should have been more like my friends. Hindsight’s a bitch. When Jeff had confessed to me he was a virgin too, I thought, how sweet: we could learn together. How wrong was I? We were a fumbling mess, like schoolchildren playing at mummies and daddies. It took us a while to get the hang of things. It went downhill after we did discover where things went. Jeff would come immediately, feeling the warmth off my entrance. Sometimes he didn’t even have to get it in before he came.
It took months before he could control his premature ejaculation. After a while, he did learn to control it. But it didn’t get any better, because he’d finish seconds before me, which left me frustrated and bitter. I began to dread making love with him. However, at no time did I think I’d transmitted that vibe to Jeff until he mentioned it this morning. He’d never said anything before, he’d just let me alone. I felt so stupid, six years wasted when all I really had to do was tell him what I needed.
Yet, how did I do that when I didn’t know myself? I cleaned the kitchen then went to the study and opened up the laptop. Maybe I’d find something online that might help me make up my mind. Then I could tell Jeff tonight what I wanted. He did say we’d continue where we left off. I clicked onto the porn sites I’d heard Liz and Jackie talk about all the time. I’d never watched a porn film before. I wondered how long they ran on for, as I glanced at my watch. It was grocery day and I wanted to miss the afternoon shoppers. I hated standing in long queues to pay for shopping.
I told myself I’d watch for an hour then leave to do my shopping. Thinking back, that was the worst thing I could possibly have done. With my lack of satisfaction the night before, I had a longing in my loins that needed to be sated.
The things I saw on the website made my body burn with desire. I felt my sweet spot throbbing with longing. I was a walking cluster of nerves, my nipples reacted to the lace of my bra. My snatch pulsated and contracted as I recalled the short movies I’d watched.
&n
bsp; I switched off the computer and readied myself for shopping, feeling more aroused than ever.
I was tempted to stay home and practice masturbation like the woman I’d seen.
Just wishful thinking.
I was a few ingredients short for our evening meal. I had to go.
* * *
The task of shopping became a mission in itself. With my senses heightened, walking by the frozen food section had my nipples hardening, sending shock waves of desire and a carnal craving to my nether regions. I needed to do something about the way I felt. I became giddy and light-headed. I had to get out of the supermarket and go home.