Fresh Ink

by Lamar Giles

  “Maybe—”

  “Maybe what?” His voice does that thing where it sounds like many voices in one.

  She wants what he’s saying not to be true even as she knows it is true. She wants to convince him that the cop hadn’t meant to do it. The gun misfired because of a glitch. It was a technical accident.

  Or maybe X himself had done something wrong, made a move he shouldn’t have, didn’t put his hands where the cop could see them. It was a procedural accident.

  Or maybe he really did fit the description. It was an unfortunate accident. Wrong place. Wrong time.

  Or maybe.

  Or maybe.

  Or maybe.

  She knows none of the excuses are true. She knows it in her heart, and where is there to go from here? If she can’t convince him the shooting was justified, then his anger is justified. And if his anger is justified, then how can she stop what he wants to do? How can she tell him not to reject a world that has always rejected him? How can she tell him not to destroy the human race?

  “I fit all the descriptions,” he says.

  This time when he starts to pull off his mask, she doesn’t stop him.

  He hesitates for a moment, and all she sees is the lower half of his face. Dark brown skin. Square chin and jawline. Wide nose, sharp cheekbones. No facial hair. He pulls the mask the rest of the way off. Wide-set black eyes, the most perfect set of eyebrows, bald head. His eyes meet hers and all his parts coalesce. He is beautiful. He even looks like a superhero. If she’d seen him walking down her school hallway, she would’ve noticed him. She suspects she would’ve never been able to un-notice him.

  The thought doesn’t last. He’s not in her school hallway. She’s not allowed to notice him this way. And those black eyes are looking at her with equal parts pain and wrath. She wants to tell him not to be angry, but how can she ask that of him?

  “Don’t you ever get tired of it?” he asks her.

  He means the constant doubling. He means the awareness of yourself and the awareness of someone else’s awareness of you. But not you, your skin. One of her white friends had once asked her why black people thought about race so much. “Because you guys do,” she had said.

  X says, “I’m not from another planet. I’m from here. I’m from this neighborhood. My mom made me this way by making a wish. My brother got shot. My uncle got shot. Before she died, my mom said she wanted a world where bullets could never break my skin. The next day, I woke up like this.”

  * * *

  • • •

  She’s come here to convince him not to destroy the world. She’s come armed with a litany of human achievements. For every argument, she had prepared a counterargument.

  Yes, we are flawed, she had planned on saying. But we have an endless capacity for joy and hope. We are capable of loving unconditionally.

  Humans go to war and kill each other.

  Counterargument: All wars end and in our peace we find a way to love each other.

  Humans invented guns, nuclear devices, torture.

  Counterargument: We also invented vaccines, hospitals, prayer.

  Humans invented vengeful gods.

  Counterargument: Vengeance can be merciful.

  Humans invented god.

  Counterargument: Or the other way around.

  Humans hate what they don’t understand.

  Counterargument: We are young yet. Give us time.

  And so on.

  But he is human. He knows all this already.

  And in the face of this, his justified anger and his grace, she finds that she has no words.

  Always the wrong place.

  Always the wrong time.

  A country that did not value his life.

  “What you got?” he asks her now. In his eyes, she sees hurt and anger in equal measure.

  It’s still not cold and there’s still no wind, but she wraps her arms around her body anyway.

  “Nothing,” she says too soft for him to hear, but he hears it anyway. He’s superhuman.

  He puts his face in his hands.

  His anger is justified and she can’t ask him to set it aside. Not when it’s his life, his body, that’s at stake. If he wants to destroy the world, she won’t be the one to stop him.

  He says, “They all thought I wasn’t human.” He presses two fingers into his chest, just above his heart. “But I am.”

  And finally she knows what to do.

  When X got his powers, he didn’t choose to destroy. He chose to save.

  She’s counting on his humanity.

  She walks to the edge of the roof and falls backward.

  Schuyler Bailar is a hapa Korean American, New York City–born Washingtonian. In 2015, he became the first openly transgender man to compete on a Division I NCAA men’s team when he was recruited to swim for Harvard University. Schuyler has received widespread accolades for his advocacy and is a prolific public speaker. You can follow his journey on @sb_pinkmantaray (Twitter) and @pinkmantaray (Instagram), or on his website, pinkmantaray.com.

  Melissa de la Cruz is the #1 New York Times, #1 Publishers Weekly, and #1 IndieBound bestselling author of many critically acclaimed and award-winning novels, including the Blue Bloods series, the Descendants series, and Alex & Eliza, about Alexander Hamilton and Elizabeth Schuyler’s romance. Her more than thirty books have also topped the USA Today, Wall Street Journal, and Los Angeles Times bestseller lists and have been published in over twenty countries. Witches of East End, based on her novel, ran for two seasons on Lifetime. Something in Between launched the Seventeen imprint at Harlequin Teen. Melissa lives in West Hollywood with her husband and daughter. Discover more about Melissa on Twitter (@MelissadelaCruz), Tumblr (authormelissadelacruz), and Facebook, and on her website, melissa-delacruz.com.

  Sara Farizan is the author of the YA novels If You Could Be Mine, which won the Lambda Literary Award in 2013 for the LGBT Children’s/Young Adult category, and Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel. The daughter of Iranian immigrants, Sara grew up in Massachusetts and went on to get a BA in film and media studies from American University and an MFA from Lesley University. She lives in Massachusetts. Follow Sara on Twitter at @SaraFarizan.

  With millions of books in print, Sharon G. Flake has earned an international reputation as a must-read writer for children and young adults. After her 1998 breakout novel, The Skin I’m In, she went on to pen ten more books and a play based on The Skin I’m In. Sharon’s work has been translated into multiple languages and earned numerous accolades, including two Coretta Scott King Honor Awards, a YWCA Racial Justice Award, a Detroit Public Library Outstanding Book of the Year Award, a Booklist Editor’s Choice Award, and a designation as a Best Book for Young Adult Readers by the American Library Association, among others. But what Sharon prizes most are the visits she has had with students and the thousands of hugs and letters she has exchanged with them. Learn more about Sharon on Twitter at @sharonflake, on Facebook, or on her website, sharongflake.com.

  Eric Gansworth, Sˑha-weñ na-saeˀ (enrolled Onondaga) is a writer and visual artist born and raised at the Tuscarora Nation, and a Lowery Writer-in-Residence at Canisius College. He has also been an NEH Distinguished Visiting Professor at Colgate University. Eric’s books include If I Ever Get Out of Here; Extra Indians, which earned the American Book Award; and Mending Skins, a PEN Oakland/Josephine Miles Literary Award winner. Eric’s visual art has been selected for numerous art shows, and he has been widely published in multiple genres. His next YA novel is Give Me Some Truth. Learn more about Eric’s works on his website, ericgansworth.com.

  Lamar Giles writes novels and short stories for teens and adults. He is the author of the Edgar Award nominees Fake ID and Endangered, as well as the YA novel Overturned. He is a founding member of We Need Diverse Books, and resides in Virginia with his wife. Check him out online at lamargiles.com, or follow @LRGiles on Twitter.

  Malinda Lo is the author of several young adult novels, including most recently A
Line in the Dark. Her novel Ash, a lesbian retelling of Cinderella, was a finalist for the William C. Morris YA Debut Award, the Andre Norton Award for YA Science Fiction and Fantasy, and the Mythopoeic Fantasy Award, and was a Kirkus Reviews Best Children’s and Teen Book of the Year. She has been a three-time finalist for the Lambda Literary Award. Malinda’s nonfiction has been published by the New York Times Book Review, NPR, The Huffington Post, The Toast, The Horn Book, and AfterEllen. She lives in Massachusetts with her partner and their dog. Find her on Twitter and Instagram (@malindalo) or at her website, malindalo.com.

  A prolific author of fiction, nonfiction, and poetry, Walter Dean Myers received every major award in the field of children’s literature. He won two Newbery Honors, eleven Coretta Scott King Author Awards and Honors, three National Book Award finalists, and the first Michael L. Printz Award for Excellence in Young Adult Literature. He was the first recipient of the Coretta Scott King–Virginia Hamilton Award for Lifetime Achievement. From 2012 to 2013, he served as the National Ambassador for Young People’s Literature with the platform “Reading is not optional.” On a Clear Day, Juba!, and Monster: A Graphic Novel were published posthumously. Myers’s full list of works is available at walterdeanmyers.net.

  Daniel José Older is the New York Times bestselling author of the young adult Shadowshaper Cypher series, the Bone Street Rumba urban fantasy series, and the upcoming middle-grade historical fantasy The Dactyl Hill Squad. He won the International Latino Book Award and has been nominated for the Kirkus Prize, the Mythopoeic Award, the Locus Award, the Andre Norton Award, and the World Fantasy Award. Shadowshaper was named one of Esquire’s 80 Books Every Person Should Read. You can find Daniel’s thoughts on writing, read dispatches from his decade-long career as an NYC paramedic, and hear his music at danieljoseolder.net, on YouTube, and on Twitter at @djolder.

  Thien Pham is a graphic novelist, comic artist, and educator based in Oakland, California. He is the author and illustrator of the graphic novel Sumo and did the art for the middle-grade graphic novel Level Up, written by Gene Luen Yang, and an ongoing comic strip “I Like Eating,” which appears in the East Bay Express. Currently Thien is working on his newest graphic novel, Please, Don’t Give Up, teaching, and eating. A lot. Follow Thien on Twitter at @CobraTalon, and Instagram at @thiendog.

  Jason Reynolds is a New York Times bestselling author, a National Book Award honoree, a Kirkus Prize winner, a Walter Dean Myers Award winner, an NAACP Image Award winner, and a Coretta Scott King honoree. He is on faculty at Lesley University, for the Writing for Young People MFA Program, and currently resides in Washington, D.C. Find Jason on Twitter at @JasonReynolds83 or on his website jasonwritesbooks.com.

  Aminah Mae Safi is a writer who explores art, fiction, feminism, and film. Her forthcoming debut novel, Not the Girls You’re Looking For, is an ode to messy girls, ride-or-die friends, and bad decisions. She has contributed to & Magazine, Blisstree, Listen Before You Buy (now Unrecorded), Geek Feminism, Sunset in the Rearview, and Tomorrow Magazine. She lives in Los Angeles with her partner and a cat bent on world domination. Find her on Instagram at @aminahmae and on her website, aminahmae.com.

  Gene Luen Yang is currently serving as the National Ambassador for Young People’s Literature. His book American Born Chinese was the first graphic novel to be nominated for a National Book Award and the first to win the Michael L. Printz Award. It is also an Eisner Award winner. His two-volume graphic novel Boxers & Saints was also nominated for the National Book Award and won the LA Times Book Prize. Gene currently writes Dark Horse Comics’ Avatar: The Last Airbender series and DC Comics’ Superman. Secret Coders, his middle-grade graphic novel series with cartoonist Mike Holmes, teaches kids the basics of computer programming. Check out Gene online at geneyang.com and on Twitter at @geneluenyang.

  Nicola Yoon is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Everything, Everything, which is now a major motion picture, and The Sun Is Also a Star, a National Book Award finalist, a Michael L. Printz Honor Book, and a Coretta Scott King New Talent Award winner. Her books have been published in over forty countries worldwide. She grew up in Jamaica and Brooklyn, and lives in Los Angeles with her family. See more of Nicola’s work on Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram at @NicolaYoon, and on her website, nicolayoon.com.

  The We Need Diverse Books™ mission statement—“putting more books featuring diverse characters into the hands of all children”—sounds simple, though it’s anything but.

  Since 2014, when the organization was founded on the strength of the viral #weneeddiversebooks hashtag, there have been hundreds of thousands of volunteer hours spent attempting to accomplish that mission. We’ve made great strides in effecting real change, from our mentorship program that allows future diverse writers and illustrators to learn from giants in the field. Our internship program that helps future diverse gatekeepers gain valuable real-world experience inside our industry’s top publishing houses and agencies. Our Walter Dean Myers grant that offers much needed financial boosts to creators on the verge of breaking into our seemingly impenetrable industry. The Walter Award, which celebrates the year’s shining examples of diverse work. And this book that you hold in your hands.

  The inspiration for so much of our efforts, Walter Dean Myers himself, once said, “We need to bring our young people into the fullness of America’s promise, and to do that we must rediscover who they are and who we are and be prepared to make the journey with them, whatever it takes. My conceit is that literature can be a small path along that journey.”

  It is only through the tireless efforts of dedicated young people like you that the face of publishing changes, so we can widen that path that Walter spoke of, and journey toward that American promise together.

  There’s still work to be done. We hope you’ll join us in doing it. Because the mission remains.

  Visit diversebooks.org.

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