by Tia Siren
Vomit bubbled in the back of my throat.
“Trust me,” I said, tears sliding down my cheeks. “I know it will.”
Chapter 15
Bastian
Two days. Two fucking days of a constant hard-on and shame mixed with guilt. I couldn’t get images of Joanna’s naked body out of mind, no matter how hard I tried. No matter how hard I jerked off, I still found my cock stiffening with desire whenever Joanna ventured around my private office.
I smoothed a hand through my hair in agitation. Shame and guilt flooded through my system while I paced in front of my desk. I didn’t know what to make of this recent turn of events between Joanna and me. Taking advantage of a highly emotional situation was the last thing I wanted to do. Joanna was escaping an abusive relationship, and yet I had given in to the temptation of wanting to see her naked. It had taken everything in my will power to pull back from her before something had happened. It had been a damn miracle considering I had consumed a fair amount of wine before the sexy striptease.
A shudder went up my spine. I didn’t know how much longer I could take trying to resist the temptation that Joanna presented—even when she wasn’t trying to.
I stopped to gaze out the window at the cold and snowy landscape. Given my past with women, getting involved with Joanna wouldn’t make me any better of a solution for her. All my previous encounters had ended in heartache. I didn’t want to inflict that sort of damage on Joanna after everything she had been through.
My phone buzzed on my desk, where it was charging. I crossed my office to unplug it from the docking station, frowning at the number on the screen. I had no idea why my property manager would be calling in the middle of the week when he knew I was in Park City—not my penthouse that I usually occupied during the week to cut down on the commute time.
“Evening, Marcus,” I said. “What’s going on?”
“We might have a problem, sir.”
I tensed in dread. “What sort of problem do we have?”
“There’s been a seedy cop coming around your penthouse,” Marcus said darkly. “He’s been trying every damn trick in the book to come up here and snoop around your place. He used the back stairs yesterday with his partner.”
“Motherfucker,” I growled, sitting down on the edge of my chair. “Did he get in?”
“No, sir. I made it clear that there are cameras throughout the building that could see him attempting to break in without any sort of warrant. He threatened to put a bullet between my eyes if I didn’t help, but I didn’t back down. Reminded him off the CCTV footage always recording.”
“I’m sure that didn’t go down very well with him,” I said.
“It didn’t, but he left. He’s been snooping around for the past couple days, and he keeps asking all sorts of questions of the building staff.”
“What sort of questions?” I asked.
“Questions about a female at your company,” Marcus said. “He doesn’t realize yet that we don’t keep tabs on your personal life. It’s none of our business, so he has come up emptyhanded several times. Just thought it best to let you know because I got the feeling he’s looking for something to get you with. Not sure what.”
“Thank you, Marcus,” I said, sighing. “Consider a generous bonus coming your direction for you and your family. If he keeps coming around and threatening you, let me know immediately. Send that footage over to my email to send to my lawyer.”
“Sure thing, boss.”
I shot off an email to my lawyer the second Marcus sent the footage to my email. Anger simmered in me when I sat back to watch the few hours of footage of Sid sneaking about the building. A few times, he came up to my door to jiggle the doorknob. He didn’t realize that after my nasty divorce, I had changed locks and kept all my doors locked to keep Sierra from walking right back into my life.
“Bastard,” I said, shaking my head in contempt. “What the fuck do you think you are going to find in my penthouse? The girlfriend you beat the shit out of?”
I didn’t know what else to do besides possibly file a complaint against Sid through the police department, but even with the CCTV footage, it was my word against his. Seedy cops had their connections, and cops always protected one another. Even though they were supposed to protect the general public, they always sided with their own, which made me sick. Even good cops were pressured into covering for their corrupt brethren, making them just as rotten as the worst of them.
I was sure Sid had his excuses ready for his coworkers to explain what he was doing, so nothing I said would be valid without Joanna’s testimony to back it up. She was terrified to speak out against him. Hiding seemed to be her best option.
I tried to concentrate on the documents I needed to sign off on for the next few hours, but then Ashton called me directly on the house line.
“We have problems,” Ashton said. “Well, you have problems.”
I groaned loudly in frustration. “What sort of problems? I’ve already dealt with one problem today.”
“I’m sure it’s attached to this problem. Better lawyer up, buddy. One of my ears in the police department is hearing rumors of a sexual harassment suit against you.”
“Sexual fucking harassment?” I repeated skeptically. “You’re shitting me, right? Someone is trying to file harassment charges against me in the workplace?”
“No. Someone is shopping around to file one against you. As in, someone is trying ruin your reputation and get revenge on you. What the hell is going on?”
“Nothing is going on,” I said crossly. “I’m dealing with one corrupt, fucked-up cop who seems to think that intimidating me is going to work.”
“A corrupt cop? Jesus, man. You’ve always been good about keeping your head, and even your dick, out of trouble. How’d you piss off a crooked cop in the process?”
“It’s a long story, Ashton. I don’t want to go into it. Thank you for telling me about this new development.” I pulled up my email account again with an irritated sigh. “I’ve gotta send off another email to my lawyer.”
“Just keep one eye open. This ‘cop’ of yours sounds like he’s out to get you.”
“No shit, man.”
Joanna. He wanted Joanna back.
Not that I blamed the dick for wanting Joanna to himself. There was a very selfish part of me that wanted to keep Joanna hidden from the rest of the world for my own reasons. I wanted her for myself, too.
I shoved those feelings away, though, because a relationship was the last thing I suspected was on Joanna’s mind. She was reeling still from everything that had happened since walking into my office Monday morning with bruises covering her neck. Even if I wasn’t a trained professional when it came to abusive relationships, I knew that sex shouldn’t even be on the table for Joanna at the moment. We were both tempted and playing a very dangerous game with our desires.
“Thanks for the warning,” I said. “If you hear anything else—”
“There is something else that I need to tell you,” Ashton interrupted. “There are some rumors going around the office that Joanna Lind is the reason behind all of this. She hasn’t been at work since Monday morning, after leaving with you.”
Fuck. I rubbed a hand over my eyes tiredly. I hadn’t thought about that when I’d called Roger to tell him that Joanna was taking a personal leave of absence. I had played it off as leaving for work reasons. My employees, while respectful, were most likely disturbed by what had transpired. I never took off work and neither did Joanna. Alarm bells were going off in their minds.
Still, I didn’t feel right telling Ashton the real reason why Sid was coming after me in every possible way.
“Joanna needed to take some time off work,” I said smoothly. “I needed to take some time away as well. That’s all that happened.”
“Roger said her ex has been calling the office excessively because he thinks Joanna is with you.”
“Her ex is a piece of shit, Ashton. That’s all I’m going to say about
the matter.”
“Fine,” Ashton said, sighing. “Keep your secrets as usual. Just keep in mind that if Joanna is in the situation that I think she’s in, you can’t do anything to help her. There are trained professionals to help women like Joanna. Keep that in mind, okay? Not for your knowledge but for hers.”
I set the phone down after bidding Ashton good-bye. You can’t do anything to help her. Those words settled coldly in my stomach because they were true. I could hide Joanna for the rest of her life, but there was no guarantee she wouldn’t go back to Sid if he promised to change. She was petrified of him because of his resources in Salt Lake City.
Sighing, I left my office to go find Joanna. We needed to talk about Ashton’s call to me. Maybe she needed some professional counseling while under my protection. I didn’t mind footing that bill because I cared for her in ways that I’d never felt before. Even with Sierra.
The guest room was empty when I pushed the door open after knocking for a minute. Her suitcases were still at the end of the bed, but I spotted a pile of clothes near the dresser. Maybe she was in the pool house.
I made my way through the house to walk across the chilly patio area that connected to the pool house. The balmy air touched my face the second I pushed the door open. The sound of water lapping against the pool echoed against the large windows that were steamed over. My eyes focused on the petite figure currently swimming laps in the warm water.
Lust spiraled through me when Joanna lifted her head to look up at me with a smile. Her blonde hair was slicked back from her fair face. The bruises on her neck were fading quickly, too, but it was the sight of her in Sierra’s old bathing suit that did me in. My mouth went dry as desire chased away the conversation I’d had with Ashton.
“Hey,” Joanna said, coming to the edge of the pool. “Care for a swim with me?”
I tore my gaze away from those perky breasts of hers. “No. We need to talk about something.”
Joanna’s eyebrows furrowed in concern as she started to lift herself from the water. I turned hurriedly to grab a towel because it was the sight of Joanna’s flawless skin that caused all the blood in my head to drain south. I held out the towel when I heard Joanna come up behind me.
“Here,” I said. “I don’t want you to catch a cold.”
“Thank you.”
My hand brushed against Joanna’s wet one as she took it from me. I turned to look at her then because I couldn’t resist another peek of that taut and toned body as she wrapped the towel around her petite shoulders.
I shook my head to clear away the lustful thoughts, and I motioned for Joanna to come forward so I could rub her back dry. We needed to talk. We needed to… Rational thought left me when Joanna turned away from me without question. I gathered the fabric of the towel to dry her off, but I found my fingertips grazing the soft skin of her collarbone. I couldn’t resist as goose bumps pimpled Joanna’s skin. I heard her sharp intake of breath.
The balmy air between us felt even steamier than what the temperature gauge above the door said. I tried to swallow, but my throat was dry. My hands were venturing on their own while the rest of my body screamed to follow suit. Joanna didn’t pull away. She didn’t shrug away, either, and instead leaned back into my touch.
I knew right there and then that the line I didn’t want to cross was about to be crossed against my better judgement.
Chapter 16
Joanna
The feel of Bastian’s hands slowly dipping past my towel to touch my collarbone sent shockwaves through my entire system. I couldn’t stop shivering despite the heated pool and how warm it felt in the swimming lodge attached to Bastian’s log mansion with his calloused fingertips gently grazing my sensitive skin.
My heart thumped at an erratic pace. After two days of wondering when he would touch me, and wanting him to touch me, he finally was. His fingers left fiery trails down the front of my chest as he traced the hemline of the bikini I had found in the guest room. The towel between us slipped out of my fingers. It slid down my back to pool at my feet.
I sucked in a shaky breath to calm my nerves. Desire bubbled in my veins. There had only been a handful of times I had ever felt drawn to a man before, but none of those times compared to how I felt when it came to Bastian. Everything about him screamed sinful release. It wasn’t just those irresistible looks, either. It was the real man beneath the cold exterior that attracted me—the man who had brought me into his home to protect me.
A tumult of emotions filled me as I slowly turned around to face Bastian. His eyes were dark with lust, but I could see the conflict waging war in his eyes. He didn’t want to take advantage of me. That much I knew from when he had kissed me on the forehead the other night because we were both drunk.
Don’t kiss him, Jo. Don’t do it. You know this won’t end well if you do.
I knew the women who trailed behind Bastian with broken hearts. A few of them arrived at his office in an effort to mend things between them, but Bastian never seemed interested in having a committed relationship. He kept his personal life and work life separated. We were merging both of our lives together, and I was helpless against it.
I wanted this man. Even if I never had him again, at least I would have this moment for the rest of my life—a wonderful spot in the darkness that lingered outside his Park City log mansion because of Sid.
Bastian’s hands had lifted when I’d turned to face him. They were clenched at his side while the silence stretched on between us thickly.
“Joanna,” he started, his voice husky.
The pit of my stomach trembled at the way he said my name—lusty and full of longing. I reached up to place my fingertips on his lips to shush whatever excuses were about to roll off that tongue.
“Don’t say a word,” I whispered and savored the feeling of Bastian’s lips against my fingertips. “I want you, Bastian. I just want you.”
The words slipped off my tongue before I could restrain them. Bastian’s eyes fluttered shut at the confession before opening again. He appeared visibly torn between his set of morals and desires.
“It’s okay,” I said, a bit braver this time. “You don’t need to hold yourself back from me.”
“That’s the thing, though,” Bastian said. “I do have to keep myself back from you. I’m not a good man, Joanna. I’m really not good. I’m a piece of shit like the rest of the male population you’ve encountered.”
I shook my head at him gently because I had no idea where his lack of confidence in himself came from. His ex-wife, I imagined. The both of us had suffered through some shitty relationships in the past that had left significant damage on our souls. None of that mattered now, though, standing next to the steamy pool. I didn’t want to think about Sid or those pictures. I didn’t want to think about what I was going to do tomorrow once this fantasy was over.
“I know shitty men, Bastian. You aren’t one of them.”
Bastian’s lips curled up at that. “Your ex is a special breed of shit, Joanna. I’m just not capable of a relationship. I can’t do it.”
“I’m not asking for a relationship,” I insisted. It was the last thing I was thinking about. “You’re the one putting a label on something. It hasn’t occurred to you that I’m an adult. Maybe I’m capable of having casual relationships, too.”
“Maybe,” he said. “I’m just—”
“Don’t be so noble,” I said, a smile gracing my lips. “You’ve already done enough to prove that you’re a good man to me. I think I can afford a slip in judgement. Just this once.”
“Just this once?”
He took a step closer then. I wetted my tingling lips with the tip of my tongue, watching as Bastian’s eyes fixated there.
“This once,” I managed to say. “I promise. Just this once we can cross that line together.”
Goose bumps erupted over my skin when Bastian’s hands skimmed along the curve of my waist before grabbing the string of my bikini bottoms. He tugged me forward with a mutt
ered curse word under his breath. Our lips collided in a passionate kiss that sent my senses reeling in every possible direction.
I poured every inch of myself into that kiss as our tongues tangled together in a battle of dominance that Bastian easily won. His hands cupped the sides of my neck to tilt my head back and deepen our kiss even more. He consumed me in every sense as I dragged my fingers through his hair to pull him even closer, not caring that my bathing suit was still wet. The fabric of his shirt felt starchy against me as I reached for the buttons to rid him of it.
We stumbled backward against a patio table. It crashed to the ground loudly as Bastian backed us up with a growl. His hands roamed every inch of me hungrily, smoothing along the backs of my thighs to grab my ass cheeks firmly. Cold glass pressed up against my back when he pinned me to the window behind me. The contrast of hot and cold nearly did me in as I squirmed up against him. My fingers finally reached the last button of his shirt.
Bastian stepped back to toss his shirt away from his body. I took in his bare and sculpted chest with a breathy sigh of appreciation. I reached out to drag my nails lightly down his chest. A hiss of arousal left Bastian’s lips as he watched me through hooded eyes.
His fingers reached for the back of my bikini top to tug on the string there. He paused briefly to look at me for silent permission. I gave him a nod before the damp fabric loosened around my neck and back. It felt to the floor with a wet plop. Fiery trails erupted over my bare breasts as Bastian took a step back to look at me. I resisted the urge to cover up as he gazed at me long and hard with desire.
“Beautiful,” he murmured and reached out then to cup my breasts in his hands. “You’re beautiful, Joanna. So fucking beautiful.”
I squirmed in pleasure as he replaced one of his hands with his hot mouth and sucked feverishly at my skin and nipple. Breathy whimpers escaped my lips. Wetness pooled between my legs while I ached to be touched there. The lust between us skyrocketed as Bastian tugged my bikini bottom down past my thighs. I kicked it away and stood in front of him completely naked.