He gently pushed Hannah away. “I’m okay. Really.”
“Maybe you’re dehydrated.” She pulled out her water bottle and held it to his lips. He drank, because he really was thirsty, but he watched Alisa as he gulped down the ice-cold water.
“Thanks.”
“Of course,” Hannah said. “Maybe we should get you home or maybe to the hospital. You look terrible, Breck. Are you sure you’re okay?”
He glanced at Alisa when Hannah used his nickname. Sure enough, her eyes narrowed, but instead of lashing out like she used to, Alisa frowned and turned away. Somehow, this hurt more than if she’d just gotten mad. He wanted to fix this right now, but how?
“Could you take me home?” he said, looking at Alisa.
“Of course I will. You bet. Let’s get you to the car.” Hannah placed her arm around his waist, walking with him to her car.
Alisa didn’t answer, but he noticed her watching them. She looked like she was about to cry.
***
I was so relieved that Brecken was okay, that he was able to remember me… finally! What a miracle, but the ache that came when I saw the familiarity he had with Hannah… The way she looked at him. The way he looked at her before he realized I was watching. How did I compete with that? She was alive. She was real and available. He could marry her and have a family. She could give him everything he wanted and needed.
I sat in the backseat as she drove Brecken back to his house. What a painful situation. Brecken listened to her talk, but didn’t say much himself, and when we pulled into his driveway, he seemed reluctant to get out.
“Are you sure you’re okay? I don’t know if you should be here alone. I could stay. I’m totally okay with that.”
“I’m good, Hannah, but thanks.”
She didn’t look like she believed him, so I leaned forward and placed my hand on her arm to impress the importance of her going home. “He’s okay. Really. You can go.” I said it in my most loving, comforting voice, trying not to send any of the uncontrolled feelings of jealousy that had erupted inside me. But touching her made it worse, because as soon as I did, everything she felt for Brecken rushed into me like a bursting balloon.
She liked him. A lot. I moaned in despair and snatched my hand back, but it was too late. I knew what I didn’t want to know. Hesitantly, I placed my hand on Brecken. He was a bundle of confusion, but his love for me outweighed how he felt about Hannah. It should have made me feel better, but instead, I felt a heavy sadness for everything that had gone wrong.
Then, before I could wonder what she’d say next, she leaned forward, pressing a quick kiss to Brecken’s lips. I froze and so did he. Hannah smiled sweetly, and Brecken hurried to get out of the car.
“See you tomorrow.” She gave him a wide grin and waved goodbye. He waved back, and then silently walked into his house.
I was beside him before he could blink, but he raised his hand to stop me from speaking. “Please don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“I know what you’re going to say.”
“No, you don’t,” I answered.
He threw his backpack in the corner and then flopped down on the couch. I sat on the edge beside him, and he glanced up at me, smiling. I rested my hand on top of his, wishing he could hold mine, but this would have to be good enough for now.
“So, it was you in Claire’s body?”
“Yeah.”
“Even at the park?” he asked.
“You remember that?”
“It’s all coming back to me, yeah. Making out in a park in the middle of the night isn’t something I do all the time.”
“Good!” I said with a wink. Although, how many other girls had found themselves in his arms for a quick make-out session during his memory loss? I tried not to think about it.
“It’s very cool to think of you in a real body.”
I sighed, remembering too. “Yeah. Wish I had my own back.” Our conversation paused, and I knew I shouldn’t bring it up, but I really couldn’t stop myself. “So, about Hannah.”
His lips tightened. I could tell he didn’t want to talk about her, but if not now, then when? “About Hannah,” he repeated. “I don’t know what to tell you.”
That stung. “Oh.”
“It’s not serious. She’s just a good friend,” he explained.
“Yeah, I saw that.”
“It’s not what you think. I love you.” His eyes pled with me to understand, and I tried, but all I could feel was the sharp stab from the dagger of love. The song, “It Cuts Both Ways”, played in my mind.
39
~A Warning~
Brecken
Brecken pondered the miraculous events of the day. Most of his past had come back, but there were still holes in the mists of his mind. The memories tickled and scratched to get out, but were blocked behind a wall where they hid, elusive.
Alisa had gone to check on Claire, who she’d left barely breathing on the basement floor. She’d told Brecken every terrifying detail, promising to be right back. That was fifteen minutes ago.
He tried to picture this Adam guy attempting to kill Alisa. He had no idea who he really was without the demon’s true name, but there was really only one lackey Bas Iblis would use for this job. Asmoday. Brecken remembered the demon from long ago. Asmoday was deceitful and cruel, and Brecken had hoped to never see him again. He was supposed to be locked up somewhere in Soul Prison, and the fact that he was out did not bode well for Brecken or any other human soul on Earth.
Rolling over, he tried to will himself to sleep, but he couldn’t stop thinking and digging through the recesses of his mind, trying to figure this whole mess out. He let his mind drift back to Alisa. She was here. She was real. Just like before. When he’d said goodbye to her in Idir Shaol a year ago, he’d thought it was over for the next fifty years at least. He never dreamed he’d see her again so soon, and the more he thought about it, the more he wanted her with him. Permanently.
His anticipation grew as he lay there waiting for her return. He was tempted to call Claire’s cell phone to find out what was happening, but before he could, he felt a presence enter his room. Flipping over, he searched for Alisa’s lovely face and long, golden hair. Instead, he came face to face with Lilim. Tall and regal, her ebony-colored hair tumbled over her shoulders. Her eyes glowed with ethereal fire.
“Lilim.”
“Hello, my dear Bretariel. It’s been a while.”
“Not really.”
She moved closer to sit on a chair by his bed and crossed her legs. “Well, I am here, whether you like it or not.”
Brecken raised himself on one elbow and stared into her eyes, unafraid. He felt the old rush of adrenaline, the fierce uprising of fury that was so common for a demon… or for someone who used to be a demon. Old tendencies, like the ability to murder without a thought or regret, built inside his chest as he watched her. He yearned to reach out, wrap his fingers around her scrawny neck, and squeeze. “I can kill you at any time. You know I am more powerful than you are, especially in a human body.”
“But you won’t, will you?” she said, her eyes blinking once, slowly. “You’re too curious to know why I’m here in the first place.”
“Then spit it out. I’m tired.” He kept his face devoid of emotion, but his eyes narrowed. The thought that so many vile demons—like this deceitful beauty—were now free to roam the Earth made him shudder in revulsion. Especially since most of them held an eternal grudge against him. They didn’t like to lose, and because of Bretariel, they had suffered horrible losses. They would never forgive him.
“Would you like to know what my job was… here with you?”
A muscle in Brecken’s jaw flexed as his irritation grew. He said nothing, but his eyes closed to slits, letting Lilim know she had better hurry and get to the point. He didn’t want her here when Alisa returned.
“I was here to protect you from your little guardian.”
His eyes widened and he almos
t burst out laughing, letting his guard fall. How could Alisa possibly matter in Lilim’s evil schemes? She was just one small soul who didn’t want to hurt anybody. She certainly didn’t want to be involved in these demonic intrigues.
“She has a bigger part to play than she knows, and she could truly mess the whole thing up.” Lilim smiled, her lips parting slightly in anticipation. “Because she loves you.”
He shook his head. She couldn’t say anything that would get under his skin. She was just as stupid as she used to be. “Like you do?” he answered, baiting her.
She reacted like a wounded creature, screeching and springing for him with her claws bared, but her long fingernails did as much damage as a feather would have, as she was only a spirit. She screamed in frustration, and Brecken laughed. “You were nothing more to me than a passing fling, Lilim. I never loved you. I couldn’t love you. Demons aren’t capable.”
“But you’re capable now, aren’t you?” she whispered demurely, her fingers reaching out to caress his cheek instead of trying to rake deep, bloody crevasses.
He smacked her hand away.
“Now is not the time to make me angry, Bretariel. You don’t want me for an enemy.”
“Like it matters?” He swung his legs over the bed and sat up. “I have more enemies than you could possibly imagine.”
“Enemies? No, Undoer. You would be readily forgiven if you came back, and you know it.”
“I know it? I know I’d be dead, and I mean everlastingly, if I ever stepped back into Barathrum. Too many want me out of the picture.”
“Untrue! We all want you to come home. We even have quarters prepared for you. We all wait in anticipation… which is why we made you forget your guardian instead of—”
“What?” he shouted. “You made me forget?”
She gave Brecken a sly smile. “Well, not me per se, but you didn’t honestly think it was Raphael or some other idiot from Elysium, did you? He’s been locked up in Gehenna for quite some time now.”
“Gehenna…” Brecken breathed. The thought of that glorious angel caged up in that bottomless pit of misery…
“And that is just where your little sweetheart will go if you don’t break it off.”
“What?”
“You heard me, Undoer,” she said, standing. “Dump the guardian or she will be whisked away to a place more terrible than you could ever imagine, and you know we can do it. We run everything now. There’s no one upstairs who can defeat us. They aren’t even trying.”
Brecken rose to his feet. They were almost nose-to-nose, and fury radiated from every cell in his body. “Get out,” he growled, itching to squeeze her neck between his fingers.
“Do what I say, Bretariel, or the guardian suffers, I swear to you.” Lilim’s voice was just as cold as Brecken’s, and her face was an expression of stone, but she left like a wisp of smoke disappearing into the night sky.
40
~Awareness~
Claire
Claire woke slowly, her head aching, her neck sore. No. Not sore. Throbbing… so painfully she couldn’t even swallow. She was lying in her mother’s arms in her basement, and her arms and legs were ice cold. What happened? She turned her head slightly and cried out in pain, but she saw something that stopped her. An apparition. A ghost, shining more brightly and more beautiful than anything she had ever seen before.
“Hello, Claire.”
“Alisa?” Oh, man, it hurt to talk, and her words came out as a raspy whisper.
“Yes.”
“You’re here.”
“Yes,” Alisa said with a sigh. “I am.”
“What happened?”
Angela watched Claire’s face, her eyes wide in confusion. “Claire! The paramedics are on their way. Don’t try to talk.”
“You should listen to your mom. Adam hurt you. He tried to kill us. Luckily, I was in control of our… um, your body at the time. Otherwise, you’d probably be dead too.”
“But why?” Claire asked.
Alisa chuckled and looked away, shaking her head. “Because he hates me, I guess. I don’t know. I came back to make sure you were okay.”
Ambulance sirens screamed in the distance, but Claire wished they weren’t coming for her. She hated hospitals. The smells, the sounds, the bright lights. Memories of her grandmother lying there, hooked to dozens of tubes and beeping monitors… and the thought of needles…
“I don’t want to go,” she said, gazing into her mother’s eyes. “Please don’t make me.”
Angela’s face grew serious, and her eyebrows scrunched together. “You are absolutely going to the hospital. You need to be checked out. What happened, Claire? No. Don’t say anything yet. Just rest your throat. It’s so bruised.” Tears welled in Angela’s eyes, and she hugged her daughter even closer.
When the doorbell rang, Angela yelled for them to come in. The paramedics had Claire strapped to the stretcher and loaded into the ambulance before she had a chance to fight back, let alone argue.
At the hospital, the doctor pronounced that Claire would live, but that she had severe bruising. She needed to rest with minimal speaking for at least the next week. Claire waited to be discharged, grateful it wasn’t worse, but she was afraid to go home. Afraid of Adam. Would he be waiting, and if not, would he come back for her?
And what about her Elementalism? Was it safe to practice her craft? Did she even want to? She wasn’t sure anymore… not after what had happened…
Something similar had destroyed her grandmother, but nobody knew the whole truth. Only Claire did and she had never forgiven herself for not intervening sooner.
Without Elementalism, how would she find her grandmother to tell her she was sorry? How would she make up for what she’d done? It ate at her like a cancer, destroying her peace of mind every waking moment. Being locked inside her mind while Alisa was in charge of her body had been a blessing; the guilt held at bay for a short time.
Everything seemed remarkably clear now. The demons had only needed her to keep the pesky guardian trapped and out of their way. But why? What was so dangerous about Alisa? Why would she be such a scourge to their master plan? The pieces of the puzzle refused to fall into place. And what about the Fourth Blood Moon? There was something special about that day. Adam had mentioned it in passing, but it hadn’t meant anything to her at the time.
Pushing herself to a sitting position, she rubbed her neck, feeling the swollen, bruised skin. Dressing slowly, she was relieved to drop the hospital gown onto the floor. She refused to stay there a moment longer than she had to. Once home, Claire took a pain pill, climbed into bed, and then pulled the covers up to her chin, desperately needing to sleep.
***
Waking a few hours later, Claire made her way down to the kitchen and found her mother making dinner. Always cooking something. A comforting sight, and right now, it was just what she needed.
“Hey, Mom,” she said in a hoarse whisper.
“Claire!” Angela whirled around in surprise. “You should be in bed!”
“I know, but I’m not tired.”
“Are you hungry? I’m making food that will be easy on your throat.”
Claire nodded, sitting down at the table. Angela placed a bowl of tomato soup before her.
“Claire, I want to tell you that I’m sorry. So sorry.”
Claire raised her eyes to her mother’s. She had no idea what her mom was talking about and was too sore to discuss it, so she nodded, whispering, “It’s all right.” They could deal with their problems later.
“You had quite a few missed calls,” her mom said, pushing Claire’s cell phone closer to her. “But you should probably wait to return them.”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
“Oh, and I don’t want make you feel any worse, but… you’re grounded.” She gave Claire a wounded look that, again, conveyed how sorry she was, and patted her hand.
“What?”
“Yes. Sorry about the timing.”
“But why?�
� Claire wracked her brain to figure out what Alisa had done to get her into trouble.
“We’ll talk when I get home. I have to take the rest of this dinner down to the Allred’s. I’ll be back in a bit.”
Once her mom was out of the door Claire picked up her cell phone. Most of the missed calls were from Katelyn. Claire pressed the redial button, and Katelyn answered on the fourth ring.
“What?” Her tone was icy, verging on acidic, taking Claire by surprise.
“Kate?” Claire whispered, her throat too raw to speak louder. She picked up her glass and took a drink of cold water.
“Yeah.”
“Hey.”
“What do you want?” Katelyn asked, angry and impatient.
“What?”
“Seriously? I can’t believe you are actually calling me.”
Claire stood up at the kitchen table, her mouth gaping. “Um, did I do something wrong?” She heard a snort on the other end of the line, and then the phone clicked silent.
“Well, that little…” She quickly dialed Jamie’s number.
He, unlike Katelyn, answered on the first ring.
“Who is this?” he asked immediately.
Taken aback, Claire was silent for a moment, knowing he had caller ID and that her number was programmed into his phone. He knew exactly who was calling. “Um, it’s me. Claire.”
“Which Claire?” he asked, deadpanned.
“Do you know anyone else named Claire?” she asked. “Jamie, what happened? I’m totally lost here. Kate is acting so weird, and now you?”
“So, this really is Claire? Not Alisa?”
She froze. Oh. Now she got it. He knew. “It’s the only Claire you know. Alisa isn’t here anymore. She’s gone.”
There was a moment of silence as she waited for Jamie to respond, and then he said, “I’m coming over.”
Two minutes later, he sat on Claire’s bed, having climbed in through her window. They whispered, Claire explaining all that had happened. He kept reaching toward her, but never quite touching the bruises around her neck. His dismayed expression said it all.
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