She looks at me as if she's taking in my measurements, which are perfect, of course. My body definitely doesn't disappoint. That's why I'm a model after all.
But in this business, it's hard to make it no matter what, no matter how beautiful you may be.
"Oh, your name is Allie? I didn't know your name but I saw your face around here the other day and I have to say, you've got the looks. I think you might be a great fit for this project. I'm really glad you approached me and I think you should come to the auditions."
She scratches down the date and time on a piece of paper that she then hands off to me. Inside, I'm giddy with excitement. This could be my first big break, and guess what? I got it all by myself.
"Thank you so much for taking the time," I say, trying not to bubble over with excitement.
I walk away from her with a renewed sense of confidence about myself. I can break into this industry with or without Cheri. She's never done anything good for me and I think it's time to separate.
I call Cheri back, fully intending to break things off.
"Hey, Cheri," I say. "You know, I don't appreciate you hanging up on me. But I just wanted to tell you that the commercial I was talking about? Well, I just booked an audition for it by myself. I no longer need your services. I don't want you as my agent anymore."
This sets her off into a rage like something I've never seen. Not from her.
"You went behind my back?" She's fuming. "Well, let me tell you something, Allie, you have no rights to your own career. You signed all those over to me when you signed the contract. I own you for the next five years. If you try to break with me, I'll make your life a living hell. I'll sue you for breach of contract—for so much money that you'll be paying me back for the rest of your life. This is a promise."
I drop the phone in shock. I can’t believe she just said she would sue me if I broke with her. I know I was warned of this the other day, but I didn't actually believe Cheri would take it that far.
What was I thinking signing with that bitch? And for so fucking long? I know now just what a shit deal that contract was.
I duck into a corner so that I can try to stifle the hot tears that are now running down my face.
I feel trapped in this job. I feel trapped in my life. With Cheri as my agent, I'll never make any money, certainly not enough to survive. And by the time five years is over, I'll have descended and I'll be past my peak in the modeling world.
I’ve wasted my life on her long enough and yet I don't know what to do to change things. I’m stuck and see no way out. No way to pursue the dream that are quickly dying before my very eyes.
All the excitement I felt evaporates and I’m left empty and despondent. But then I look up and see the one person who might be able to fix this.
Xavier.
Xavier
I’m like the fucking king of my little empire. As I walk on location around the studio, about to oversee events for the new commercial launch, I acknowledge how fucking awesome it feels to own all of this.
In a short time, Hard Pressed has become a leader in the industry, and that was always my vision. I set lofty goals and achieve them. It’s just what I do. What more can I say?
I walk into the main floor of the building just in time to see Allie duck into a corner.
She seems upset and despite myself, I want to go find out what's wrong. I walk over to where she is and peek around the corner to see her eyes flooded with tears.
"Allie," I say with more sincerity than I anticipated feeling. "What's wrong? What happened? Tell me."
She looks at me like she's happy to see a friend. Little does she know how much of a friend I am—or used to be. Because if she knew the depths of my dark plan, she’d know I’m her fucking enemy. Even if I don’t quite feel like that right now.
"Oh, Xavier, I'm so happy to see you. Except I don't want you to see me like this." She wipes the tears away from her mascara-stained face.
"Well, tell me what's going on. What happened?" I ask.
"Fine. Here's what happened," she says. "You know how I've been with that sleazy agent? Well, her name is Cheri, and she's been against me since day one. I kid you not. Today, I saw that they were doing a commercial so I called her and asked if she could book me an audition.
“She said that's not the direction she wants my career to go. She says she's in charge of my career and by extension, my life."
"Wait, what? She threatened you?"
I have the impulse to beat her agent for hurting her, but once again, I have to check my emotions. She's not mine, nor do I want her to be...not for anything more than a fling. Still, there may be an opportunity here.
"So, I went behind her back," Allie continues. "I just felt so enraged by the fact that she's not helping me get ahead. I went directly to the Project Lead, and guess what? She said I may be perfect for the part."
Of course she's perfect. Allie's the most gorgeous girl to walk into this studio in as long as I can remember.
"So, I called her back, my agent, and I told her I wanted to part ways. But she threatened to sue me for breach of contract. And she said I'm under her thumb for the next five years."
Fresh tears are rolling down her face as she recounts the way this fucking agent threatened her. For some reason, the idea of someone else owning her makes me feel possessive in a way I've never known.
I ignore these ridiculous feelings, though, and set about initiating phase two of bringing Allie down. She makes it all too easy being so vulnerable with me. She needs to learn not to wear her heart on her sleeve.
Yes, I'm dying to fuck her again, but I'm also consumed by this need to cause her pain. I want her to hurt the way she made me hurt.
And suddenly, the perfect idea practically presents itself.
"Don't worry, Allie, I'll take care of everything. I have the power to do that," I say. "Please just give me a minute to make some phone calls."
I step away from her and into an empty office. I shut the door and began mounting my next attack. First, I'll make a call to her modeling agency.
They put me through to the director. Within a few minutes and with a few promises, he agrees to let me buy him out. Just like that, it's my agency now. I own it and I own her, only she'll never know it was me.
I laugh to myself. It’s fucking perfect.
I decide it's time to assign her a new representative. I make sure Cheri is fired and I put her with a guy named Harry. He seems pliable and easily influenced by money, so it's not hard to convince him to book his new model client all the wrong jobs.
If she thought her career was suffering before, it's really gonna hurt now.
I talk to Harry and make sure he understands that I want Allie to book the worst possible jobs, with an extra incentive to him for his discretion, of course.
I never anticipated that such a sublime opportunity to take her down would fall so easily into my lap, but things have worked out perfectly.
Harry's scheduled to call Allie in about fifteen minutes, so I can make my move.
I seek her out again and promise her it's going to be okay. Tell her I've taken care of everything. She has a new agent.
"He's the best of the best," I lie. "And he'll take you to the top."
"Thank you, Xavier, for everything."
Her wide-eyed genuine gratitude astounds me. How could someone with that amount of heart have been the heartbreaker I knew back then? She seems so innocent.
But I don't allow myself to fall for it, not this time. I remind myself that she is in show business. It’s her job to make people believe shit.
I kiss her cheek and make my exit before Harry calls.
He's gonna phone her up and introduce himself. He's been instructed to book her for a terribly boring video. I told him not to share the details with her.
But it’s all going to be under my guidance now. I'm going to be calling the shots on Allie's career, but it will all be done behind the scenes. None of it will be revealed to her. Sh
e’ll be fucking clueless.
I've got her right where I want her and I never dreamed it would be so easy. She's gonna pay for everything that went down in high school. She'll never guess that this was all coming from me. And I'm not gonna tell her until the time is right. When I’m ready to crush her.
But for now, all I care about is that Allie thinks I'm her savior, when in fact I'm her goddamn enemy. She's literally sleeping with the enemy, and that makes me feel so fucking good to have that power over her.
Revenge is mine, at last.
Allie
Things are finally looking up. I've been asked to do a video shoot with Hard Pressed and now that I have my new agent, I couldn't be more excited. I think it's different from the commercial I saw going on the other day. As far as I know, this is not for the app release.
It bums me out that I didn't get that important shoot, but this is the next best thing. Even though it's for something else. I don't know what it is exactly, but I’m on the right track, I just know it.
I trust Xavier, and I trust my new agent. At least it's better than working for that bitch, Cheri. This is a big company and to even get some type of work with them is a really big deal. This is my second gig. Maybe a steady stream of jobs is on the horizon.
Hard Pressed occupies a gorgeous building in downtown Manhattan. It's the hub of where every model wants to be. And I'm here. At last.
Walking through the modern lobby makes me feel as though I've really made it. There are agents everywhere talking into their phones and models milling about. Assistants are scrambling to get things done, and every now and then I see an important higher-up dressed in a power suit walking around.
I know the company from the sheer amount of exposure they have. They're all over the web covering everything from news to entertainment, fashion shows and red carpets. Hard Pressed covers all the big entertainment news so the fact that I even got this gig is a major moment for me.
I feel proud of myself. If I do well today, then it could really facilitate things moving forward. I can make a name for myself.
I do wish my new agent Harry had given me a better idea of what this video would entail. I haven't known what to prepare for or anything. But I guess I just have to trust him.
"Hey, Allie," an assistant says as she approaches me and leads me quickly toward some chairs. "Let's get you straight into hair and makeup."
Ah, my favorite part. What woman doesn't enjoy being pampered, especially for work? I truly feel like I'm living the life.
If things continue this way, then my dreams will most certainly come true. And I really have Xavier to thank for all of that.
"Allie, hi. I'm your makeup artist. Name's David. It's a pleasure to work with you."
Already, this is more professional than any other shoot I've worked on. I'm getting excited.
I sit in the makeup chair, and just as he starts to work his magic on my face, someone comes behind me with a blow dryer and begins to do my hair. Then a manicurist sets up shop next to me and works on my nails.
I'm being primped from every angle. This is a professional team in a professional setting, and I try to act nonchalant, as though I've seen it all before.
In truth, my old agent only got me the shadiest shoots in even shadier parts of town. Often, they would take place in someone's cramped apartment and I never felt as if I was going anywhere.
Hard Pressed is big. I feel like a real model. I feel like this is what I always envisioned when I thought about this career. And finally, it's all coming together.
I just have to calm my nerves and know that whatever the shoot is about, I can handle it. I know how to be charismatic and how to get the job done. If anything, I'll just fake it until I make it.
"So, have you ever worked for Hard Pressed before?" David says, bronzing me to perfection.
"Only once before. I did a little something for them and it was really great. So, I'm really grateful to have been asked back."
"Yeah," my hairstylist says. "If they asked you back that means they must've really liked you. This company doesn't just hire anybody. You have to be good."
They're making me feel more confident by the second, and I guess that's what a glam squad's for.
"I bet you say this to all the new models," I say, laughing.
"No, girl," David says. "You've got it all going on. You have something really special. Doesn't she, Maureen?" he asks the person doing my hair.
"Yes, honey, you're really beautiful and you should know that."
"Thanks, you guys, you don't know how good it is to hear that."
Their words and praises really do lift me up. I allow myself to sink into the salon chair as Maureen gives me a fragrant scalp massage and pulls conditioner through my hair.
I let myself be primped and preened and then I close my eyes and try a little visualization technique. I try to imagine every part of this video shoot going well, whatever it's about. I see myself feeling confident and ready. I think about how the camera loves me, and I do so well that they keep booking me for more events.
I'm so into my exercise that I nearly fall asleep.
The assistant comes in and tells me that they're ready for me on set. David applies some false lashes, and I open my eyes to see a stunning image of myself in the mirror. I normally don't look this good. God, I wish I could take this glam squad home with me.
Instead, I leave the makeup room and walk into the big set where the shoot will take place. It all seems very expensive and important.
It's intimidating in here. My agent isn't here, and I don't have any friends or family supporting me. It's just me, and I have to make this happen. It's time to shine.
A huge white screen falls from the ceiling over the floor and I see where I'm going to be on camera. A simple black stool is the only accessory.
I take a seat in front of the camera and try to angle my super tight jeans right. I want to look good and like I've done this before.
There's all manner of lighting prep going on around me and people holding microphones.
"Are you ready, Allie?" the director asks.
"I am."
"Okay, take one."
The cameras roll, and this is my moment. The interviewer asks me a series of questions that I try to answer to the best of my ability.
"Hi, Allie, how long have you been a model in the industry?"
I decide not to detail my sordid past with Cheri and keep things simple.
"Um, about five years now."
I smile bright.
"And do you have a strong social media presence?"
"Yes," I lie. "Well, it's building."
"Can you please describe your thoughts on how you think videos go viral?"
I'm still not sure what the shoot is for, but maybe it has something to do with social media? I know these types of shoots try to get candid, unrehearsed answers, so I try to answer the question with grace and poise and as much knowledge as I can muster.
"I think videos go viral when they have a lot of meaning for various groups of people. When more than one person can relate to something then it creates a unifying effect that has the power to reach a lot of people."
"Can you be more specific?" the interviewer says.
"Okay, well, for something to go viral, let's say a person named Jamie has the video. He then hangs out with Sarah and shows it to her. And then Sarah shows it to Charles, etc. this is how things get spread. Before you know it, it's spread around to everyone you know and everyone they know."
It seems like they just want to get a model's perspective on how you can get famous or something. Maybe this video will go viral and people will know my face and name.
It’s a little bizarre, but I just hope whatever it's for is a good cause. I know Xavier wouldn't put me in a compromising position. At least I don't think he would.
The interviewer asks me a series of similar questions, and I answer them all with truth and honesty. I try to move my body and make the lighting work for
me and not against me. I try to come off as a real professional model.
At the end, it feels like a really long day, but I got to do what I love and so it didn't feel like work at all. This is what life should be about, doing what you love. I feel like I'm finally in the right place at the right time.
I'm excited I actually got to do a video shoot and speak my mind instead of just having photos taken. Don't get me wrong, I love doing photoshoots but I also like other work. And in the end, it's about rounding out my portfolio. And this could definitely be a portfolio piece.
The glitz and the glamour of the day feel like second nature to me. I have no doubt I'm in the right career, and now that I've meet Xavier, I might even be in the right place romantically. We’ll have to see. He hasn’t mentioned seeing me again, but I’m hoping what happened between us was on the beginning.
As I head home, still in full makeup and hair, I feel like I’m floating on a cloud. I think about Xavier again. His gorgeous body and dark nature thrill me. But there's also something dangerous about him that I can't put my finger on.
I always go for the bad boy. And I always get hurt. I'll have to watch my step with Xavier, but in the end, he's too hard to resist. I know I'll give in to anything he asks of me.
I want to.
Because I want him.
Xavier
I'm spending the day in the editing room going over footage of Allie's video shoot. Being in the editing room always fulfills me. I get to be a voyeur of all the new talent and thus have first pick of any new models or actresses that catch my attention.
In the end, I tell them who I am, or they already know, and it's over before it begins. I have them in my bed by nightfall. It's almost too easy.
Watching Allie, though, gives this a whole new meaning. Yes, she's fucking gorgeous. She always has been, but dressed to the nines for this shoot, well, she really stands out.
I imagine all the things I would do to her if she were here in the editing room with me. I'd spread her out over all this equipment and have her calling my name in no time.
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