by D. J. Graves
“Derek?” Gerald asked.
Derek’s jaw tightened. He couldn’t even bring himself to watch the video or hear it for that matter. His silence said enough.
“There are some things a man cannot do. Some lines he can’t cross,” Will said.
A sudden and unexpected feeling of anger hit me hard and my face became hot with the force of it. “Pretty words, but lines in the sand are luxuries we can no longer afford.” No one said a word to argue my point. “Where are my guns?”
9
Gerald and I were dressed in black with our faces painted dark green. Derek and Will were kneeling low in front of us as we waited and watched Finn and his men from afar. So far the dogs hadn’t spotted us as we crawled out of the hatch exist from the shower room, some thirty feet west of where they stood around Jensen’s burning body. It was Karen's fault we weren’t running in with our guns blazing, massacring the lot of them ambush style.
Just as Gerald and I were gathering our arsenal, Derek and Will came into the storage room with her clever new plan, one that Will and Derek were on board with even though it still ended with all five men dead. No guns. No killing. At least not directly by our hands. Karen wanted to watch more men become zombies. She’d gathered so much raw data from watching Jensen, that she couldn’t pass up the opportunity to seize so many deserving test subjects in one fell swoop. So while the four of us slowly surrounded the men and their dogs, Karen was clearing out a closet to store the soon to be unconscious men while they waited for their turn on her table.
Derek was more skilled at using a blow dart gun, so he was tasked with taking out the dogs from a far distance before they could alert Finn to our presence. Thankfully Finn and his men had their heads bowed in prayer and the sudden fall of their hounds went unnoticed. Even the sound was muffled out by Finn’s loud and pious voice, calling out to his god to bless his fallen warrior...I for one couldn’t wait to end Finn’s reverent ramblings for good, but I didn’t feel comfortable with Karen's plan. I’d seen at least five dozen men, women and children turn right in front of me, and beside the pattern of rot on the body or how long it took, ranging from one second to maybe five seconds, they all pretty much went down the same way. I told Karen as much before we climbed out into the woods, but she said she needed to see such variances for herself. So we weren’t allowed lethal weapons. Fuck that noise.
We moved in fast from four sides, boxing them in. I was positioned to the south of the men, no closer than fifteen feet. I prepared the long, but lightweight tubular dart gun Derek lent to me. However, before I could even find a comfortable grip and put the mouth guard to my lips, Derek had already dropped Marko. He fell half in the fire, alerting the rest to the danger. Jason pulled Marko out of the fire while Finn and Bill pulled their guns out and started shooting into the woods at random.
“Shoot!” screamed Finn. “Shoot into the woods. Kill the whore!”
I moved lower to the ground hoping to avoid any bullets shot my way. I stayed there for a moment, listening to the chaos of gunfire. I had five tranquilizer darts attached to the gun near the mouthpiece, five chances to hit someone with a wind-powered weapon I’d never used before in my life, let alone while under fire. I breathed in and out slowly, thinking, calming myself. Calm minds solve problems...I’m south of Finn, so I’m situated in the least likely place to draw gunfire because I’m literally between them and the church. I was kneeling in their logical direction of escape. I grasped the machete I’d managed to crawl out of the hatch with without Karen's notice, and the feel of the cold handle grounded me. This was a weapon I could depend on. Not some long bit of piping and a glorified syringe. I mustered my courage, which I fondly referred to as my fuck-it focus, and slowly rose from where I was kneeling.
To both our surprise Finn was standing less than two feet from me. Our eyes met. He pointed his gun at me and I knew I wouldn’t have enough time to put the dart gun to my mouth and blow before he shot me, so I pulled out my machete and cut the gun from his hand. It was pure instinct. He fell to the ground screaming and holding what was left of his right hand. I’d severed most of his hand from his body, leaving only half his palm and his thumb. I stomped down on his chest hard so he couldn’t get away while I shoved a blow dart into his thigh as hard as I could. I watched him lose consciousness and a smile that terrified whatever part of myself that was still a decent person curled up my lips.
“I want you to die in misery...and you will,” I said in a dark voice that sounded strange to me. “I wouldn’t miss your infection for the world.”
“Wow,” said Will.
I looked up with a start. Will and Derek were standing nearby, but I didn’t see Gerald anywhere.
“Those were some epic kill words. Right up there with, ‘My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!’” Will laughed. More and more I found these people’s levity grating. They laughed and joked too often. Had they gone through what I had, they would know better.
“Where is Gerald?” I asked them.
“Shot,” said Derek.
I grabbed Will’s arm. “What the fuck are you joking around here for? Where is he?”
“Relax. It was only a flesh wound in the arm. He’s down in the base with my grandma getting babied enough, I’m sure. Help us drag these bodies below.”
I let go of Will’s arm and for a moment I wondered if he’d have a bruise there later. By the way he was rubbing it, he was probably wondering the same thing.
“No. I’m going to start cleaning up out here. I need to get rid of Jensen’s body and clear out any sign that they were here at all. We don’t want a repeat of this in a few hours or days.”
“Good thinking,” said Will. “I’ve had my fill of drama for one day or lifetime.”
“Do you really think Finn’s church will keep going without their lunatic leader and golden boy?” Derek asked me.
I truly didn’t know. Finn and Jensen were so good at creating monsters in their image, I could see any one of their flock rising to power in their absence.
“Maybe, but I don’t see them doing so well without Finn’s sweet salvation bull-shit bringing in new members. Their way of living is just not sustainable without the constant growth.”
“Why?” asked Will.
“Because human is their primary source of food.”
“You said they have a garden,” Derek argued.
“A sickly thing that only barely gets them by between slaughters. That’s the problem with cannibalism. You are what you eat.”
“Should we do something about them? Like free the people from the church, people like you who want to get out?” asked Will.
“There’s no way to save anyone without making yourself known to those who might just want to eat you and take your resources.”
Will and Derek dropped the bodies down the main hatch while I dug a hole for what was left of Jensen and Tanner. Derek and I set the sleeping dogs near the road where the boys found Chris and I running from the horde of undead just six hours earlier. When we returned to the base, fuck exhausted, Derek went in but I stayed outside. I used a tree branch to drag leaves over the trampled ground and the large Jensen sized burnt patch. When I was done I climbed down the hatch to find only Karen still awake.
“All clean?” she asked from her computer.
“Yeah.”
“I could have used those dogs, too.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. I didn’t believe in animal cruelty. Really, the only reason I didn’t throw a total shit fit about the human tests was that these men were truly evil. Killing them in this way was a public service twice over. But, killing dogs would be like killing children in my eyes, and that thought likely reflected on my face because Karen said, “Don’t worry. We don’t need them.”
I moved to the sink to wash my hands, but asked Karen without looking back at her, “Is Derek, Will and Gerald sleeping?”
“I don’t know if their sleeping, but they’ve retired to their ro
oms.”
“Are you sure you’re fine sleeping on the couch out here?” I asked her because earlier that night she’d insisted on Chris taking her bed on the grounds that making the poor child sleep in one of the boy's bed would be cruel on account of their musky man smell.
“I’m more than fine, Erin. We’ll work out better sleeping arrangements tomorrow. Go get some rest.”
“And what about the men in the closet? How long will the sedation last?”
Karen pulled extra blankets and pillows out of a drawer under the couch. “I infected one while you were out. If you want to see the footage, it’s in my office. The other three are on a drip to keep them asleep until they’re needed. I’ll try to finish them off as soon as possible and then we can burn the bodies.”
I nodded and walked away, too tired to comment. As I made my way to Karen's room to sleep next to my baby, I stopped and stared at the closet she’d put the men in. Before tonight it was used to store extra water purifying equipment and air filters. The metal door was locked from the outside, so even if they woke up on the floor in that cold dark box, all they could do was scream. But we wouldn’t hear them.
10
"Erin," spoke Will over our breakfast of oatmeal sweetened with honey. Chris and I were both enjoying it greatly. I hadn't seen Chris look so happy in all his short life as I did in that moment. It seemed that since the day he was born we've been struggling to survive.
"Yeah," I said reluctantly taking my eyes away from my son's smiling face. I was trying to memorize it. Everything about it, from the twinkle in his eyes to the fullness of his happy apple cheeks.
Will and Pane each took a seat in front of me.
"We want you to have Pane's room," said Will.
"But, where will Pane sleep?"
"With me," Will offered.
Gerald laughed from the couch, where he was snuggled up in a blanket. Karen had served him breakfast there after he complained about...well, everything. He couldn't serve himself food with his arm so injured. He couldn't sit at the table either. He was so cold. He was milking his shoulder injury for all the sympathy he could get. Well, he was shot.
"They're sharing a room often enough, they might as well make it official," he laughed out loud.
Derek threw a couch pillow at him, but Pane and Will said nothing in response to that comment, which made me think Gerald was right about the relationship he was insinuating.
"Great, as long as we're not putting anyone out," I shrugged. "Thank you. I'll check it out after breakfast."
*
Pane’s empty room was just like Karen's, minus all personal items of course. They designed the rooms so that no space was wasted. When I walked in, the first thing I noticed was a long metal desk on one wall with a small metal box with a cushion for a chair. The chair slid smoothly under the desk and doubled as additional storage. On the wall above the desk was a monitor that changed from different high definition landscapes, such as mountainous horizons or sandy beaches. A faux window of sorts. On the opposite wall was a dresser the exact same size and height as the desk. Above the dresser was a large mirror. On the third wall there was nothing but a handle about six feet up the wall. Just like in Karen's room, when I pulled on the handle a queen sized bed came out from hiding in the wall.
After checking out our new room with Christopher, I cleaned him up in the shower room and borrowed a shirt from Pane so Christ could wear it like a nightgown until his clothes were cleaned. I stared at the monitor above the desk as I sang Chris to sleep for his first nap of the day. The monitor was a moving picture of Mount Rainier during Autumn. The mountain was light blue and white against a gray sky and at the foot of the mountain was a mixed forest of evergreens and colorful deciduous trees. The image made me cry a little. It reminded me of home, a place we could never go back to. My little town of Elb was completely empty of life. After my husband died from untreated diabetes while we were hiding in our home, Chris and I left. I thought at the time that surely there would be something in Olympia, the capital of Washington; a military compound or something. There was nothing but more misery and more death. But, now we were here and maybe we could start feeling safe again. Maybe this could be our new home.
I left Chris napping on our bed and found Derek and Gerald in the living room playing Minecraft.
“Holy shit! You’re playing video games...”
“How else are we supposed to pass the time?” Derek asked me without taking his eyes off the screen.
Fuck. No wonder they seemed so out of focus with our world. They didn't spend a lot of time in it.
“Minecraft is the best game of our lifetime. It inspires everything great about humanity. Cooperation, ingenuity-” Gerald said with passion.
“And, logical usage of limited natural resources,” Derek finished. “Grab a remote,” he offered.
“I’ll pass.”
“Come on,” Derek said.
“Baby steps guys. I’ve been fighting for survival every day for the past three years. Today I need to just get used to relaxing again. Maybe I can play tomorrow.” That made them smile and I sat down beside Derek to watch them do whatever the hell they were doing with their little blocky people in that little blocky world.
“I understand that,” said Derek.
“Hey, I was just wondering earlier, why do you have five bedrooms when Pane didn’t come until later?”
Derek’s face went slack and he paused their game. His emotional shutdown was damn near palpable. “You tell her,” he said as he stood up and left the living area.
“Hey, you don’t have to leave,” I said after him, but he kept walking away. “I’m sorry. What was that about?” I asked Gerald.
“You didn’t say anything wrong. We knew we would have to tell you eventually. Last night we talked about who should tell you, and I guess it’s me.”
“Tell me what?”
“You probably think that we’re a bunch of grandma loving geeks who escaped all the pain everyone else suffered.” I couldn’t argue with that, so I didn’t. “But that’s not true.”
“Really? You built this place. You knew what was going to happen.”
“We didn’t know for sure. Derek, Will and I were just having fun building this bunker. Karen was the only person taking the end times shit seriously. When the shit started going south, we weren’t really ready, and by the time we realized what was happening we weren’t close enough to the base to make it here without loss. Will’s husband was in Seattle. He never made it here. My girlfriend was at work at the mall. That was probably the worst place she could have been. She locked herself in the storage room at the Foot Locker. Her last message to me was a video. She said she loved me.” Gerald’s voice was steady but he closed his eyes. “I could hear the zombies in the background. She kept saying it over and over again, ‘I love you, get your ass to that silly fucking bomb shelter, I love you…’”
“I’m sorry.”
He shrugged. “Derek suffered the most. He had a wife named Payton and two kids, Sarah and Emma. They were camping on Mount Rainier when it happened. They tried to get here as fast as they could, but with all the closed and jammed roads, they had to abandon their truck on the highway. In the mass hysteria and zombies chaos, he lost his eldest daughter in a crowd of people trying to get closer to a military convoy running through Roy. She was twelve. His youngest died less than a mile from here. She was two years old. A zombie came out of nowhere and ripped her right out of Payton’s arms. Derek killed it, but Emma was gone and Payton couldn’t live with herself after she lost her children. She took her life... Your room was meant for their girls.”
I let out a breath and looked down at Derek’s abandoned remote. “I don’t know how he’s holding up. I couldn’t imagine losing Christopher.” That was a lie. I could, I just didn’t want to. “I feel like crap.”
“Don’t. He’s a strong man.”
“No, I feel like crap because a part of me is...not happy, but more comfortable here
knowing this information.”
Gerald unpaused his game and shrugged. “Misery loves company.” I never liked that turn of phrase. “Oh, by the way. Pane and Will are helping Karen with her studies. They just took in that old priest guy. Will said you wanted to see him turn. Said you wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
I knew I said that last night, but seriously, that was in the heat of a fight and if I could go the rest of my life without seeing another breathing corpse, that would be just swell.
“Thanks for telling me but I think I’ll pass. I’m going to go lay down with Chris. A nap sounds good.”
“Did our talk turn your bad-ass heart soft and mushy?”
I scoffed at him and stood up from the couch. Gerald set his remote down and made a heart shape with his hands over his heart and smiled at me while I backed out of the room. I couldn't help but laugh at his dorky face.
11
Pane was cleaning the floor of the closet we used to store Finn and his men last night. I stopped and watched him trying to mop up the blood and piss. The sight of it made me even less inclined to see the going on's of Karen's research.
“Looks fun,” I joked as I walked by.
Pane plunged the mop into the bucket and looked at me with a smile. “Well, damn. Now I feel selfish indeed. Would you care to take over?”
“No, you’re doing a great job with...uh, that.”
“Well, there’s plenty more fun in Karen's laboratory. After she’s finished with Finn, there will be even more fun yet.”
His words were nonchalant, but his face said, "HELP ME." But, I simply turned and walked away. Did I feel bad? Eh, kind of but no. I didn't agree with Karen bringing the disease inside and I wasn't about to spend my day cleaning up after it.
Derek’s room was past mine, but I could see that his door was open and I did feel bad for bringing up what happened to his family. I felt as if there was bad blood between us. Maybe there wasn’t, but I couldn’t let the possibility that there was stand. I had to say something.